RPOV

The kitchen table, that was Dimitri's favorite place to make love to me during the day. I told him that it was completely unsanitary to have sex every other day on the same surface that we ate off of but he didn't care.

That morning I had gotten up an hour before I was supposed to, Dimitri and I had been married for about two months and something wasn't right. I don't mean something wasn't right with the marriage, which was perfect and had no problems whatsoever. Something was wrong with me. I had felt sick that past week, throwing up had become part of my morning to-do list. I didn't make myself throw up, I would just be doing whatever I was doing and all of the sudden I needed to get to the nearest trash can. I hadn't told Dimitri, he was struggling with his guilt and didn't need to worry about this too.

Speaking of his guilt it had gotten better since we got married. He was smiling and laughing a lot more now and was more like the Dimitri that had mentored me. He said it helped him to see that I wasn't at all affect by our time in Russia, that I was still the same feisty Rose Hathaway he had meet on that icy street all that time ago.

My depression had greatly improved; I was no longer cutting and I didn't want to commit suicide. DImitri still worried how I would react if something bad happened and he had every right to worry, it scared me too. Dimitri still watched me when I was in the kitchen, his muscles were always tense, as if he was ready to grab me I started to cut. I felt safe knowing that he cared enough to watch me.

I was stirring pancake mix that morning when I needed to throw up. I ran to the sink (it was easier to clean up then having to take out the trash) and threw up whatever had stayed in my stomach from the night before.

I stayed silent for a few seconds, hoping that I hadn't made enough noise to wake Dimitri. I stayed crouched over the sink, panting as I waited to make sure he was still sleeping. When I thought I was in the clear I lifted my head from the sink and started to clean up when Dimitri said.

"Rose are you okay?"
"F**k,"
The curse flew off of my tongue and was followed by the bitter taste of vomit filling my mouth. I threw up again, this time I knew there was no more hiding it. Dimitri was wide awake and would hear me.

So when I heard his feet running down the hallway I didn't even try to cover up what had really happened, he had to find out sometime. I wiped my mouth clean of vomit and washed the taste of it from my mouth.

Dimitri was in the kitchen, he was still in his pajama pants and he wasn't wearing a shirt. He had such a nice body; I would have been turned on if he hadn't looked so concerned. I felt guilty and looked away from him, he said.

"Rose what's going on in here?"
"I'm making pancakes,"
"I heard something, what happened?"
I didn't say anything; he touched my cheek and said.

"You can tell me what happened, I won't be mad."
I took a deep breath and said.

"I threw up . . . again."
"Again? This has happened before?"
"J-just for a week . . . or so."

"A week? Why didn't you talk to me?"

"You were working on your guilt, I didn't want to bother you."
"Rose Dhampirs don't stay sick that long,"
I whispered.

"I know,"
"Not en less they're . . ."
I didn't know what Dimitri was implying. I stood there with a confused look on my face. I hadn't ever heard of a Dhampir catching something for a whole week. I said.

"En less they're what?"
 He gulped before saying.

"En less they're pregnant,"
Anger washed through me, I looked him in the eyes and said.

"What? Are you saying that I cheated on you? How big of a whore do you think I am? We've been having sex like seven times a week and you think I'd go somewhere else for more? Even Rose Belikova has her limits!"
"Rose it's fine if you and Adrian had sex before we got married, just tell me."
"God damn it! Adrian and I did not have sex! And if we did we would have used a condom and I would have gotten birth control! And don't you think I'd know if I was having Adrian's kid by now?"

Dimitri sighed and said.

"Are you sure you and Adrian didn't have sex?"
I started sobbing while I said.

"Why don't you believe me? I told you I've never had sex with Adrian!"
Dimitri wrapped his arms around me and whispered.

"I'm sorry, I believe you, I believe you. We'll go to the doctor and figure all this out."

Three hours later

I was sitting in an exam room; I was waiting for the nurse to come back with the results to my blood work. Dimitri was sitting on a chair next to me; he was fingering my hair while saying.

"Everything's going to be fine, it can't be that bad, you're a Dhampir."
I could tell that he was trying to convince himself that I was fine; he needed those words just as much as I did.

Finally the nurse came in and said.

"Well Rose congrats, you're pregnant!"
I told the Moroi nurse.

"No, that's impossible; I've only ever had sex with a Dhampir!"

She turned to Dimitri whose head was in his hands and said.

"Would you like to have her undergo a DNA test? It would tell who the father is."
He nodded and I was instantly angry with him. He wanted me to have some stupid test done? What kind of husband did that?

The answer- a husband that thought his wife was unfaithful

The nurse said.

"I'll need you to leave the room while I take the DNA from the fetus." She handed him a cup and said.

"I'll need you to fill that with a piece of your DNA, sperm or hair would be the easiest."

Dimitri got up with looking at me, took the cup and left the room. Once the door was closed behind him I was instantly filled with terror. My terror only increased when the nurse opened up a door and pulled out a needle that was as long as my middle finger to my elbow.

One hour later

I had to walk home from the hospital; Dimitri had taken the car home and left me there. Walking home was not fun after having a needle stunk through the skin in your stomach and into the child in your womb. By the time I got home I was bent over and was clutching my stomach.

I unlocked the door and found a bed made up on the couch. The minute I saw it my heart broke, I was sleeping on the couch. Dimitri didn't want to share a bed with me. I sat on the couch and started crying.

Why was this happening? I knew the baby had to be Dimitri's but I couldn't convince him of that without those test results. I spent the rest of that day on the couch, not really looking at anything. It was like I was frozen in place, if I moved I would shatter the safety bubble I was in.

But all bubbles have to pop; mine popped when someone knocked on the door. I answered it to find the same nurse from the hospital carrying an envelope. She handed it to me and said,

"These are you test results, have a nice day."
Then she left with her guardian, I closed the door and stared at the paper in my hand. It held the solution to my problems, I already knew the information it held. But Dimitri didn't. I called his name, no answer. I looked for him all over the apartment, he wasn't there. I found a note from him saying.

I can't stay in this house with you, not when you continue to lie about the child you're carrying. I love you Roza,

Dimitri

I started sobbing, he . . . . left. He didn't even stay to see the results, he probably didn't want to. He was so sure of himself, he was so sure that I was lying. He was going to get a Rose smack down for that one.

One thing Dimitri had been right about was what I would do if I got bad news. I stumbled into the kitchen and grabbed a knife, cutting my wrists in an attempt to block out the pain in my heart.

I don't know what happened after that except that I got lightheaded and fell onto the kitchen floor. The kitchen floor was stained with my blood.