Here is the revised version of chapter 2 of this story since I got really good advice from a reviewer. I began to think and I re wrote the whole story it's better than I thought. I hope you people who have read it like this chapter better.
Chapter 2 (Whatever you do don't look behind you)
"Damn it, Sabira look what you've done again." Sabira cursed under her breath as she rode off to the palace.
"You always have to fall for the dark and mysterious types don't you, this is how it all got started." As she neared the palace.
"Okay relax, plan; pretend to be gift from a different place, just relax you've done this before, but last time it was to easy." She gulped as she hopped off the horse and walked toward the palace doors, but got stopped by a guard.
"State your business?" he asked sternly.
"I have a gift for the High Priest."
"The High Priest has enough horses." As he eyed the horse next to her.
"The horse isn't the gift, I am."
"From where?"
"Ah….the Gods I was sent here for the High Priest from the gods, they have a message for him."
"So you're the messenger?" he raised an eyebrow not buying what she was saying.
"Yes, now can I see him?"
"You said you were a gift."
"Yes from the gods that have a message for him." She said exasperated, from this guards attitude.
"Very well then, follow me." He said as he grabbed her arm and dragged her to the High Priests chambers.
Once they reached the room Sabira leaned against the wall, for the guard took bigger strides as they walked, and it was hard for her to keep up.
"Wait here." He growled.
"Like I'm going anywhere." She said sarcastically. He opened the door and went inside. Sabira slid down the wall and sat there and waited.
"Hello." Sabira jumped by the voice and found a girl her age with dove gray eyes and cinnamon colored hair standing in front of her with a smile.
"Ahhh, you scared me." She said putting her hand over her heart.
"Sorry, I'm Ayasha, and you?"
"I'm Sabira, nice to meet you Ayasha."
"Sorry to be rude but why are you here?"
"Gift."
"Ah, I'm was one of those too, for Priestess Isis from an admire only I got turned into a slave."
" So who are you for?"
"The High Priest."
"From?"
"The gods,"
"You'll be a slave in no time, the High Priest doesn't really care for gifts even if they are from the gods. Is it cool though."
"It has its perks."
"Well I have to get back it was nice meeting you Sabira, hope to see you around." She waved as she walked away.
"You too." Sabira yelled down the hallway. The guard came out and told her the High Priest would see her now. She went in and found a teenage boy sitting at a desk reading a book, he had chestnut hair and when he turned and stood up he had cerulean eyes and was very tall. He strode toward her with elegant grace, his expression never changed, as his eyes locked with hers. Sabira did not blink for thinking she would be punished for doing so. There was a slight pause before he spoke.
"The guard says you're a gift from the gods with a message for me."
"Yes, sir."
"Well where is it."
"What?"
"The message that the gods gave you." He said crossing his arms.
"Um…." Sabira couldn't think of anything. She hadn't thought of this part what was she going to do?
"The gods said it will come in the next full moon, I must stay until then, to help show what it means." She sighed a relief, by the great lie.
The High Priest didn't believe a word, he started to clap and chuckle. Sabira stared at him like he was a foreign object.
"Lovely performance, the best I've heard in a long time. So what did you really come here for?" His expression changed back to nothing.
"He didn't believe me?" she whispered, stunned by this she tried to think of something else.
"Guards, take this girl away." Two guards came out of nowhere and were about to grab her when she ducked and said the first thing that came to her mind. It had to do with the necklace that was around her neck that Bakura gave to her out of some weird generosity from one of his raids.
"The message is in my necklace!" She cried as she ducked again from the guards. The High Priest raised his hands and the guards backed off.
"What did you say?" turning his attention to her again.
The message, I'm suppose to give to you is in this necklace." She pointed to.
"How is the message in there." He said grabbing it making Sabira ran into him but backed off a little.
"I'm not sure, but that's what I was trying to tell you, it will come on the next full moon."
"Very well, you may stay here, but you must earn you keep by doing everything I tell you to do."
"Excuses me?"
"You will be my slave until the next full moon."
"But I'm from the gods!" She exclaimed pointing to the necklace.
"I don't care if your from Rameses (I don't know if it's spelled right, I'm in a bit of a hurry.) himself, you will do as I tell you."
"Fine." She grumbled
"Your first task is to let me know who you are?"
"Huh?"
"Your name!" he said agitated
"Sabira, your second task is to clean my chambers."
"Very well then."
"You will find a rag somewhere." And with that he left.
So is this one better than the other you decide and if you just read this one with out the old one just forget about it and review if it was good or bad.
Ciao