Chapter 2

"Start the shower," Kate told Castle as they reached his room. "I'll find us something to sleep in. We don't need to be scrambling for something family friendly if Alexis needs you."

He just nodded again, too physically and emotionally drained to say anything else. He started the shower and undressed, stepping in just before Kate joined him. Leaning forward and bracing his hands at shoulder height against the wall with his head hanging between them, he let the warm water fall over his neck and back.

Kate stood close and ran her hand across his back repeatedly, and he knew she was trying to sooth some of the tension out of his tight muscles. As he recognized her efforts to be what he needed, he finally allowed himself to feel the weight of everything that had happened in the past few days. "When they took me to her… When I saw her…they had her in a cage," he started quietly. "Kate, they had my baby locked in a cage…like an animal." Then the tears started, and his voice broke. "They had their filthy hands on her to stop her from escaping…to sedate her and move her from place to place. She said no one tried anything, and a doctor attached to the embassy agreed, but still… The thought that they could have..."

Kate turned him toward her and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his head to her shoulder. "Don't try to hide any of this from me, Rick," she said firmly. "Partners, remember? We take turns being the strong one. Say it all. Cry. Get it out. No matter what it is, I've got you. I'm here to stay."

When he heard her words and felt the determination in her voice and the tightening of her arms around him, he finally broke down and sobbed on her shoulder, his arms holding her close. She moved her arms around his waist as he brokenly told her the rest of the story…all of it. As he got the story out, he gradually calmed. Even Alexis hadn't heard it all…and probably never would.

After he had finished...ending with the embassy, the cover story, and the plane ride home...Kate just held him, letting him decide when to let go. "It was like not being able to wake up from a nightmare."

I know," she said soothingly. "I know."

He kissed her roughly, and she returned it the same way, a touch of desperation taking over, but they were both far too tired for it to go farther than being thankful for another reprieve…another victory over what could have kept them apart. She lathered her hands and soaped his chest, gently stroking some of his tension away. She lathered and soaped until he was covered, then he did the same in return before they rinsed off. It was a testament to their exhaustion that neither had the intention of anything more than providing and accepting comfort. When they were dry, they put on the daughter appropriate sleepwear and snuggled under the covers.

"Can I do anything else to help?" Kate asked.

Castle was on his back with one hand under his head, the other arm around Kate's shoulders, and she had her head on his shoulder and an arm draped over his middle.

"This is what I needed…you listened, you haven't sounded angry, you took care of my mother when I was gone, you helped me relax more than I have in days, and you're lying here beside me. Right now, that's all I need."

"Always," she answered softly, and left a kiss on his chest. "Try to rest. Even if you don't sleep, close your eyes and try to rest."

Like Alexis, sleep came more quickly than either of them had expected. Kate had managed her own version of tucking Castle in, but she couldn't sleep before he did any more than Richard Castle could have slept before his daughter had. When she heard the even breathing that goes with sleep, Kate allowed herself to drift into slumber as well.

xxxxx

Alexis woke up about an hour after she had fallen asleep. She sat up quickly, looking unsettled and calling for her father.

Martha put down her book and moved to sit on the side of Alexis' bed to calm her. "Bad dreams, darling?"

"Where's Dad?" she asked, sounding frightened.

"Shhh," Martha soothed, putting her arms around her granddaughter. "You're both home, and he's downstairs sleeping. Kate is taking care of him. He's safe."

Alexis fell into her grandmother's arms, holding her tight. "Will you lie down with me for a while?" she asked.

Martha recognized the sound from when Alexis was younger and feeling insecure. "Of course I will. Scoot over."

Alexis moved over and held up the covers, then curled into Martha's arms when her grandmother slipped in beside her. "I feel like I did when I was five and there were monsters in the closet, but these were real ones."

Martha kissed her head and stroked her back. "Do you think you can get back to sleep?"

"Maybe. You won't leave?"

"I won't leave."

"You haven't slept much lately either, have you?"

"Not much. Lying down feels good."

"Thanks, Grams. I love you."

That brought another kiss on her head, and they both closed their eyes and let sleep slowly pull them in.

xxxxx

Kate woke up with Castle's arm across her waist and the rest of him spooned snugly behind her. Looking at the clock across the room, she found they had slept until mid-afternoon, and if Alexis needed anyone after they all fell asleep, Martha had apparently handled it well. She eased out of bed slowly, doing her best not to wake Castle, made a quick stop in the bathroom, and went to see if Alexis was up. Checking on Alexis would undoubtedly be the first thing on his mind when Castle woke up, and she might as well have a report to ease his worries when that happened. He would want to come across as the strong dad, and that would be easier if he didn't feel the need to race out of his room frantically calling his daughter's name.

Martha and Alexis were in the living room picking out a movie when Kate came in. She went to Alexis, brushed her hand gently across her back, and asked, "Did you manage to sleep?"

"I slept a while and woke up, but Grams got in with me and I got back to sleep. Thanks for taking care of Dad. I think he's been afraid to close his eyes for the past few days. Did he sleep?"

"He was still sleeping when I left. I just wanted to check on you…to know what to tell him; you'll be the first thing on his mind when he wakes up. I'm going right back so he doesn't wake up alone. Did you get some rest, too, Martha?"

"I had a nice nap with my granddaughter. Now get back in there and take care of my son." Martha hugged Kate and said softly, "Thank you."

"Nothing to thank me for, Martha." She closed the study door, and arrived at the bedroom door just as Castle was opening his eyes. He looked panicked.

"Alexis? Kate?" He pushed himself up to look around as if he wasn't sure where he was.

"Right here," Kate answered. "Alexis is up. She woke up once; but Martha got her back to sleep." She got back under the covers and held him while he pulled himself together.

"Stay here with me for a little while?" she asked. "They were picking out a movie when I checked on them, and they think you're still sleeping. Can I be selfish enough to keep you to myself for a few more minutes?"

"I'd like that, too," he answered, wrapping his arms tighter around her. "I'd like that a lot." He buried his face in the bend of her neck and nuzzled there before he rested his forehead on her shoulder. "Thank you for last night," he said softly from near her chest. "I was a disaster, and you let me fall apart, then helped me relax enough to rest. I can't do that with anybody else."

"Then I feel pretty special."

"You are pretty special." He moved his head back to his pillow and smoothed his fingers across her cheek. "I know I haven't heard it yet," he paused and kissed her gently, "but I know you love me, Detective Beckett. I see it in your eyes, I hear it in your voice, I feel it in your touch, the things you do…"

She kissed him again, not as gently as he had kissed her.

"You're really not angry that I left without telling you?"

"I was mad as hell, might still be once in a while, and disappointed that it looked like you didn't trust me; but mostly I was scared senseless and wishing you'd call. When I heard what sounded like a gunshot and your phone went dead, I kept telling myself there was still hope, but I couldn't get past the thought that you were dead…that you were dead, and we didn't even know where to look for you." Her words accelerated, and there were tears in her eyes as she spoke, a catch in her voice. "I thought I was going to live the rest of my life never seeing you again, and I don't know how to do that anymore." The tears were falling on her cheeks by then. "And Alexis… And your mother… Castle, she was so scared. She put up a good front, but she was so afraid. We held each other up until we heard you were safe."

"I'm so sorry," he answered, wiping the stray tears with his thumbs. "I was more than a little distracted and didn't think how it must have sounded to you. My father told me to call you, gave me a new phone...and I was about to; but then the phone rang, and it was Volkov delivering his ultimatum. After that, Hunt told me why Alexis was taken, and we started working on a plan… If it had been the other way 'round, Kate… I'm so sorry I put you through that."

"You're here and you're safe – both of you. That's all that matters right now."

He held her tighter. "Still, I'm sorry…"

"It made me realize how it looks to see somebody you love disappear down the rabbit hole. It showed me exactly what I'd done to you those times before, and I promise it won't ever happen again. The rabbit hole is scary enough when you're alone and on the way down it, but the other view is way scarier. All I can do for my mother is try to find justice for her death. You have a wonderful, living, breathing daughter who could be found and brought home. I understand that. Just don't ever do something like that again alone. I'm supposed to have your back."

He pulled back far enough to see her face. "Somebody you love?"

"Well…" she answered with a teary grin, "Since you already know…" When he laughed and looked happier than he had since he got home, she sensed that this was when he needed most to hear it. "I love you, Richard Castle," she said gently. "I love you, and I love your family, and I love being here with all of you."

"I know we need to talk about the rest of what you said, and what I did, and probably a couple of other things, too; but right now that last part is going to get me through the day. Is that okay for now?"

"Yeah, Castle. We're good. We'll talk when things settle down. For now, your family is probably wishing you'd wake up and get out there where all of you can see that everybody is safe. All of you need a day that's quiet and unexciting…and together."

He kissed her firmly, and they held each other for a moment before they got up to be with the rest of the family.

"I think Gates knows," Kate said as they got dressed.

"That may be for the best," he answered. "I'm tired of hiding it. Maybe it's time to deal with whatever is going to happen."

"I'm tired of it, too. It's hard hiding it when I keep wanting to shout it to the rest of New York City."

"And I'm sure Paula would be perfectly willing to find a way to help you with that shouting thing," he said with a chuckle as he tucked in his shirt tails and fastened his pants. Then he gently pushed Kate's hands away from her task and finished buttoning her shirt for her. After kissing her lips softly, he put an arm around her shoulders and guided her toward the study.

She leaned her head on his shoulder and stretched an arm around his waist as they walked slowly through the study, and they stopped at the door for another kiss…one more brief, intimate moment before joining the others.