A/N: This may be the last chapter of this story. I'm sorry if it is, but it's going to be very long (For my standards XD), I promise. Chapter Two: Damned and Lost
Had I really died?
I looked around, trying to find the answers to my predicament. One, I wasn't in my apartment. Two, Magnus wasn't here. Three, this wasn't New York.
Without knowing what to do, I successfully stood up and walked over to the woman, stopping her as she was just about to leave the area. My hand clung to her shoulder as I started panting. This was the most exercise I'd gotten in a while.
"Where are we?" I asked in a rushed tone, looking hopefully for a sign of the warlock.
She fluttered her eyelids, then stared at me with wide eyes. "Who are you?"
I glared and walked away, then tried to get clues as to what this was. Unfortunately, no guys with spiked hair in rainbow pants showed up. I looked around, unable to find who I was looking for. Being silent wasn't helping, and calling out for Magnus would be stupid. I turned back, but the lady was already gone.
I could have asked her where Magnus was. . .Without hesitation, I walked through a set of silver-colored gates and looked out at what I could only assume was a town. The rain had completely stopped, to my shock and surprise. There were brick buildings covered in moss, large wooden doors, and happy-go-lucky people abundant as they wandered throughout the streets. I still searched the crowds. It was hopeless - none of them looked any bit like Magnus.
Before I just decided to sit down on a bench and give up while crying, I noticed something. A boy in blue skinny jeans smiling and giggling with another boy in purple pants. The two were sitting close together on a small patch of grass next to a stone fountain. I watched as they talked, feeling something slowly rise in my chest. Somehow, I remembered this. This exact moment was becoming clearer in my memory. The two boys started to give each other sweet, short kisses as no one seemed to care or notice. I started to smile almost, and I could feel a fluttery emotion inside me. They fell down onto the grass, before they turned into nothingness. It was like the impact had destroyed them.
I backed away, a hand over my mouth. As I looked down at my arm, I noticed the deep slashes. It was all becoming clear now.
A boy passed by me. As I inspected him, I noticed a gaping hole in the back of his head. He seemed to not even know it was there. I leaned over, feeling the bile in my stomach rise into my throat. What the hell kind of place was this?!
I tried to run back through the gates, but they were closed. Completely, utterly closed. I tried running through one of them with my shoulder, but that only resulted in the gates just slightly creaking. My scarred arms banged against the metal as I tried opening the gates. No one seemed to notice, they all just kept walking. Why were they ignoring what I was doing? I started tugging on the thick bars, pulling them as hard as I could. That got everyone's attention.
Their gazes pierced through me, and told me all in the same cold way to stop what I was doing. I glared, and turned to them. None looked threatening, but I still felt intimidated. "Let me fucking go!"
None of them spoke a word.
I could feel a rush of adrenaline course through me as I walked over to the guy with the hole in his head and punched him hard. "TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK I AM AND WHY THE FUCK I'M HERE."
They all seemed to start backing away as I inhaled and exhaled sharply. I could feel my heart race as I was suddenly running. The people were chasing me, and I had no other options. I opened a door to a large building made of the same bricks all the other buildings were made of. My heart rate quickly decreased as I noticed a flashing head of golden hair, with eyes to match, giving off a light in the darkness. A light switched on, and just as my eyes became adjusted to it, I could see a smirking boy staring back at me.
A parabati rune graced his neck, and he wore a black Idris Academy shirt. He grinned at me as he walked towards me.
"Alec!" He embraced me in a huge, friendly hug.
My cheeks flushed a bright red as I felt a tingly feeling in my heart. Jace. . .
We both stared at each other, smiling as we enjoyed the moment of re-finding each other after so many years. But, that begged the question: if everyone here was dead, how did Jace die without me knowing it?
I kept the thought towards the back of my brain as I tried to enjoy this moment. Jace and I stood away from the windows so none of them could see us. My heart raced with each glance I took at him. He was still as dead-sexy as ever, and I couldn't deny it. Just seeing him made me feel one hundred times better. The drugs, the drinking, everything that had turned my life awful. Magnus had done the same, but I hadn't had the time to realize what he was doing. As we sat in the corner of the main room, I tried considering what he had done for me.
Magnus had willingly helped me while I was ODing, and he took me into his house. He never let me think that I didn't have a reason to be here. In general, he showed me complete kindness, and so much sympathy. I could feel a string inside me break. Now I could never see him again. . .then again, he'd find someone much better than me later on. . .
I could feel my eyes sting as I looked over at Jace. He scooted closer to me on the couch, then rested a hand on my shoulder. I hugged him tightly, resting my head on top of his. Why did he have to be straight? If he was interested in guys and decided to go out with me, I probably wouldn't have gone to the underground in the first place. With a light growl from me, I could hear him start quietly talking.
"You left someone behind, didn't you?" He asked in a flat tone as we broke the hug.
I stared down at him, then nodded a bit.
Jace nodded, then looked down. "How would you react if I told you I didn't like Clary, and that I never did?"
My eyes went big at his statement, and I felt my heart race. He bit his bottom lip gently as I stared at him. Was Jace telling me what I had only dreamed of him ever saying? I rubbed the parabati rune on my neck as I listened to him confess about his constant heterosexual relationships, taking in every word. Apparently he had only done all of this to hide what he was really feeling, and to possibly turn him straight and make him better again. Once he died and left Clary, however, he started noticing his attraction towards males. He hadn't expressed it previously, and I had been the only person he'd ever told. Well, at least that's what I heard. I also heard that he really had loved me all along, but that was just my crush on him.
"It's okay, Jace. I swear, I won't tell anyone." I said quietly, smiling as he took both of my hands.
I blushed brightly as he pressed our hands to his chest. He sat silently before he pressed his lips to mine. My eyes went wide, and never closed before he broke the kiss. I furrowed my brow and stared at him. He let go of my hands, then stared at me until I chose to talk.
"Jace, what the hell?" I asked, still stunned.
He sighed and stood up. "I'm sorry. It didn't feel right at all. Maybe I was wrong. . ."
I looked down as I examined his statement. This world must have been filled with melancholic people, and turned otherwise happy people into depressed drones of what they once were. I swallowed as I tried to tell him something that wouldn't bring him down even more. Though this had been my dream for years, I surprisingly disliked it. To me, it felt like kissing my own brother. I sighed as I started to speak again.
"No, Jace, it's fine. I'm just not the one. After all, I think you're not supposed to fall in love with your parabati. I broke that law, but that's not the point." I nodded as I tried to reassure him.
He sighed, and then disappeared into another room. I looked out the window, and started hearing yelling and screaming. My heart pounded in my chest, and I could feel my wrists throb lightly. I raced to the room that Jace had entered, and locked the door hastily. Jace had an eyebrow cocked, and he stared at me with a concerned look. I sat down in a corner, my eyes big. Without a voice, and in shock, I said nothing.
He knelt down in front of me, and stared at me. My eyes were still big, and he rested a hand on my shoulder to comfort me. "Alec, what's wrong?"
"T-they're out there. . .they're still looking. . ." My voice shook inexplicably, and I could feel my arms reach to my legs for comfort.
He looked out of a curtained window, unable to see what I was seeing. His expression changed drastically when he did notice, however. I bit my bottom lip hard, and tried to keep quiet. For fear they would find us, I pulled him down to my level. "Jace, we're going to die, aren't we?"
With a quick glance over to the closed window, he sighed. "If we are, just tell me if you had a lover in life before you died."
My gaze met his, and he pulled me close, his golden eyes meeting mine with a sorrowful sense to them.
"Yes. His name was Magnus. Magnus Bane. He was the reason I slashed my wrists. But he tried saving me. . .he was there for me when I died. . ." My head dropped into my hands as I could feel my tears sting my eyes again.
Jace's face was only inches from mine after I removed my hands from my face. Blood rushed to my cheeks as I could feel him lean in closer, and press his soft, warm lips to mine. I was unable to fight against it. My heart raced as I almost melted into him, placing my hands on his cheeks, and letting him climb on top of me. Just as he broke the kiss, he smiled down at me and leaned in for another. The people outside were gone from my mind as Jace continued to "comfort" me. His hands kept caressing me gently, and I started to let out light, ragged breaths. They wouldn't have heard me, nor him. His hands roamed around my body, and then I began to notice his battle scars. Long, deep, crimson gashes ran up and down his arms, I could feel them as I ran my hands up against his bare skin underneath his shirt. Just as I began to pull his shirt off, I saw the wound that must have killed him. It was a set of about nine punctures in his stomach as chest, all deep and looking the same as his gashes. My eyes went big as I inspected them.
Whatever I had expected to kill him was nowhere near this. Jace's eyes went dark, sad, as he picked up his shirt and pulled it back on. He rested his hands on top of mine, and held my wrists up so he could see. "Alec. . .he really meant that much to you? So much that you'd kill yourself for him?"
With a nod, and I responded. "He meant that much to me, yes. Now I regret it, since he'll never come here and be with me again. . ."
Jace's eyes had never looked so sad. I continued looking down, feeling my heart sink deeper.
I would never see Magnus again. . .