Okay! Chapter 2. It's shorter than the first chapter, but hopefully just as (if not more) funny. Enjoy!
Chapter 2
Subsection 1
Scenario: Banquo and his son Fleance are walking about Macbeth's castle.
"Hi Dad, how's it going?" asked Fleance to his father.
"Has the clock struck yet? I haven't heard it."
"You didn't answer my question, but no, the clock hasn't struck twelve yet."
"Funny. It seams later than it actually is."
"Wait! I think I hear someone coming. Who goes there?"
"Oh you young boy, acting so brave. It's just me," replied Lady Macbeth.
"Shouldn't you be in bed? Or can't you sleep either?" asked Fleance.
"The latter," she replied shortly.
"I know the feeling. I had a really weird dream about those three witches Dad and your husband met yesterday. They were quite the lookers if you ask me."
"Aren't you a bit too young to be chasing women?" scolded Lady Macbeth. Fleance simply laughed and walked on with his father. "You know," she said to no one in particular, "I couldn't be saner about killing the king. I see no visions and after that pep talk with Macbeth, I'm as cool as a cucumber." And then the clock struck midnight.
Subscript 2
Scenario: Nervous Lady Macbeth
"Oh man. I must have drunk too much," Lady Macbeth fretted. "Now my nerves are so jangled. And what with all those strange noises going on I'm surprised I'm still thinking coherently. I must go and consult my husband." She walked to their chambers. "Hey Macbeth! Wake up!"
Macbeth rose with a start. "What? What happened? Is the deed done yet?"
"No. I drank too much. Can you do it for me?"
"No! You go do it. This task was appointed to you, Lady Macbeth. And if you do not find a way, no one will." Lady Macbeth slumped off, muttering something about Macbeth watching too much TV before bed time.
Macbeth lay awake in the meantime daydreaming, if that is possible in the middle of the night. "Just think of it," he crooned to himself, "next week, I shall be King of Scotland." That thought brought out a giggle, which was cut off by screaming.
"She tried to kill me!" shouted Duncan. "That murdering wretch tried to kill me!"
"Oh this isn't good," said Macbeth, putting on his bathrobe. When he came out into the hall he inquired as to what was the matter. "Who tried to kill you, sir?"
"That wife of yours!" Duncan was still screaming.
"Why would she do a thing like that?" said Macbeth, feigning innocence.
"How should I know? Luckily I got to her first."
"What? You killed her?"
"What else could I do? Sit back and have her kill me."
Macbeth attempted to compose himself. "Well, I had noticed that she was sort of on the crazy side. I guess it was for the best." A thought struck him. "What about your guards? Why didn't they stop her?"
"They are so drunk you can smell them from a mile away," replied the king.
'Well that's one thing that went right,' thought Macbeth dryly.
Subscript 3
Scenario: Madcuff and Lennox enter Macbeth's castle.
"Why on earth was that porter knocking?" asked Lennox to Macduff.
"How should I know? Probably drank too much. It is a rather odd night, now isn't it?"
"Indeed. Oh, and here comes Macbeth."
"Lennox. Macduff. What are you doing here?" Their answer was cut off by the king shouting 'Murder!' at the top of his lungs.
"That," replied Macduff. They all ran off into the keep to see to their king. "My liege," said Macduff. "What troubles you? What murder?"
"Mine!" Duncan shouted.
"You don't look murdered to me," observed Lennox.
"No! I mean I murdered someone."
"What?" inquired both Macduff and Lennox.
"What he means to say is that my crazy wife tried to kill him, but he got to her first," described Macbeth, setting matters right. Banquo chose that moment to come upon them.
"Lady Macbeth is dead?" he asked, unneededly.
"Yes!" exclaimed Macbeth, exasperated. "How many more times does it have to be said: My wife is dead. For crying out loud!"
Joining the party came Donalbain and Malcolm. "Oh Father!" said Malcolm. "I heard your cry of distress all the way from England."
"And I from Ireland," added Donalbain
"Did you know anything about what your wife was planning?" asked Malcolm.
"Of course not," Macbeth lied.
"I find that rather fishy," said Donalbain.
Subsection 4
Scenario: Ross and an old man meat outside of Macbeth's castle.
"Now isn't this a sour turn of events," thought Ross out loud.
"What do you mean there sonny?" asked the old man.
"Well, first Macbeth's rank is lowered, and now his wife is dead. How sad can it be?"
Macduff happened to come across them then. "Have you heard that Duncan's sons are staying with their father?" he asked. "If I were them I would get as far away from him as possible. He has totally lost it. It's like he's never taken a life before."
"It was a woman you know," suggested the old man.
"That's true," said Macduff. "And she was crazy and armed. I don't blame him. But do you think Macbeth had anything to do with it?"
Ross and the old man looked at each other. "Nah," they both said.
Okay...I've only recieved 1 review for all of my stories (which I really appreciate, thank you MBE :)) But I would really like more. I don't care if you don't praise my work at all. It's just nice to know that people are reading these. So please, please, please review. Thanks a bunch!