RWBY belongs to Monty Oum and Roosterteeth
A/N: The inspiration for Beacon Brigade comes from the idea of Jaune and Sun meeting and becoming best friends. I can see these two doing all kinds of crazy shenanigans
The Beacon Brigade Case 2: The retreat
Jaune's experience with dust planes hadn't improved in the slightest. He still vomited uncontrollably and couldn't focus on the simplest of tasks. This is exactly why he released a long list of mental curses when he heard they were taking a two hour dust plane ride to a facility out in the middle of a forest for Beacon's annual one week retreat. The blonde knight tried anything to get out of going but all students and staff were required to go.
He spent the first hour of the plane ride sulking and complaining about his fate
Fortunately for Jaune there was a certain someone on that plane who knew just how to cheer him up. Jaune's scroll beeped, indicating that he had a message, he pulled it out and saw it was from his faunus friend, Sun. The message read:
'Swiggity Swooty I'm lookin at yo booty'
Jaune almost dropped the scroll out of sheer surprise.
Once he had composed himself he looked around at all the passengers until he spotted someone he had never seen before. A certain monkey tailed faunus with a hoodie on and the hood pulled over their face.
'No…it couldn't be…oh who am I kidding? Of course it's him' Jaune thought to himself. He walked over to the monkey tailed faunus and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Yes" The boy whispered
"Sun I know it's you"
"Who is this Sun you speak of?" the boy replied
"*sigh* There aren't any teachers around you're clear"
"My stowaway skills have prevailed yet again!"
"What are you doing here?!" Jaune whispered harshly
"I'm on a mission"
"What kind of mission?"
"A mission to catch the troublemaker that's been going around town lately"
"What troublemaker?"
"Tsk tsk tsk…How can you not know?!"
"Know what?!"
Sun grabbed Jaune by the back of the head and lowered his face until they were at eye level.
"About the troublemaker that's been going around and tickling guy's butts while they're asleep"
"…continue"
"They've made quite a name for themselves and many people think this person goes to Beacon"
"So how does this pertain to you?"
"I'm here to catch the crook and protect my brigade brothers for life from being mercilessly butt tickled in their sleep"
"Ugh…shouldn't we just leave this to the police"
"Jauney boy this is a job for the Beacon Brigade. We can't just let this person continue with their butt grabbing ways!"
Jaune heavily pondered on this.
"You're right…all those poor guys out there who are forcefully tickled in their sleep *shiver* it's a nightmare"
"I knew you would see it my way"
"Alright but first let me tell Ren"
"Tell Ren what?" asked the eastern boy who somehow materialized behind Jaune
"Uuumm…about Sun" Jaune said nervously.
"Oh I already knew about him"
"Wha- you did!"
"Yea I helped smuggle him on board"
"But why?"
"Brigade brothers for life"
"DAMMIT SUN"
…
They arrived at the facility one hour later. The facility wasn't anything special. It was actually a bunch of one story bamboo huts that could hold up to four people.
After they landed everyone went about collecting their things and peacefully made their way to their assigned huts…everyone except for a certain trio that was causing a loud commotion among the crowd of students.
"Can we? Can we? Can we? Pleeeeease" Pleaded Sun.
"*sigh* Fine" replied Jaune with a smile. He finally started to get into the swing of things again.
"Yes!"
Ren, Jaune, and Sun proceeded to pull out their sunglasses and put them on.
Pyrrha had collected her things and was now searching for the rest of her team. She spotted the back of Jaune's blonde head. She weaved her way in and out among the large crowd of students.
"Hey Jaune have you seen-" Pyrrha froze in her tracks when Jaune turned towards her, wearing his sunglasses. "No…"
"Hey Pyr what's up?"
Pyrrha looked desperately to Ren but was left in a horrified state when she saw him wearing the same exact sunglasses.
"Ren…not you too…"
"The name is Detective Magenta"
"Noooooo"
…
Night fell not soon after everyone had gotten settled in their huts. Each hut had a calm atmosphere around it; all the occupants had a feeling of joy as they knew that the next week would be spent in relaxation…all except for one hut that had an extra monkey tailed resident.
"Funbuns what are your thoughts"
"Hmmm…it could be anybody. Do we know anything about the perpetrator?"
"They like touching butts"
"Helpful as always Detective Jones"
"Anytime Detective Funbuns"
"We also know this person only goes after males" pitched in Ren
"Very perceptive of you Detective"
"Thank you Detective"
"You're welcome Detective"
"You do know that you aren't really detectives…right?" questioned an agitated Pyrrha.
"Nonsense Pyr we got badges!" exclaimed Jaune
"Those are star-shaped stickers" Pyrrha argued
"Psh what's the difference!"
"Well actually-"
"Funbuns I've got an idea!" interrupted Sun
"Yes Jones?"
"What if we set up bait right here in camp?"
"I don't understand"
"Alright look we send a message to everyone at Beacon that oh I don't know…CARDIN…has the softest buns in all of Beacon. The perpetrator can't resist something like that right? So if Cardin gets tickled by the end of the week then the scumbag really does go to Beacon."
"What if the butt tickler doesn't go for it?"
"He's gotta! There's no better chance than now...we're in the middle of the woods, in low security bamboo huts, and to top it all off everyone's let down their guard. It's perfect!"
"I have to agree with Detective Jones, it does sound like a good plan plus it's the only thing we have right now" Ren included.
Jaune pondered on the pros and cons.
'On one hand we can deduct if the butt tickler goes to Beacon, but on the other hand Cardin could gets his buns manhandled…wait…what's the bad part of this plan?'
"Alright! Let's do it!"
Jaune pulled out his scroll and messaged everyone in Beacon except for team CRDL and the teachers. Feeling satisfied with this plan the three detectives went to bed.
…
Jaune was awoken by a shrill scream in the night. He hastily got up and grabbed his sunglasses then rushed out of the cabin and towards the sound of the scream, hoping to catch the butt tickler before they got away.
Unfortunately he was too late. By the time he reached team CRDL's cabin there was no one there except Cardin who was curled up in a ball and shivering. He rushed over to Cardin.
"Did you see them? What did they look like?"
"I-I-I"
"Dammit man we don't have time for this! Which way did he go?"
"I didn't see…They- they were just so fast. One second I was sleeping in my bed and- and the next I was- being" Cardin stuttered out before breaking out in a crying frenzy.
Jaune gave up pursuing the ass tickler and decided to comfort Cardin in his fragile state until the teachers arrived.
They arrived a few minutes later and took control of the situation. Sun and Ren arrived not too long after the teachers. They, unlike Jaune, decided to grab their weapons before pursuing the sound of the scream. A bunch of students also starting leaving their huts to investigate what was going on, but all investigations were immediately stopped and students were told to go back to bed.
"Damn we almost had him!" Sun snapped while walking back to the hut. Alongside him were Ren and Jaune.
"No worries Jones, at least we know they do go to Beacon" calmly stated Ren.
"*sigh* I guess you're right, but I was really itching to catch the ass tickler. Funbuns what do you think?"
"I almost had them. If only I had gotten there just a little sooner" Jaune replied.
They arrived at their assigned hut not soon after their discussion and went back to bed. Jaune had trouble sleeping. He couldn't help but feel uneasy about something. He was finally about to fall asleep after hours of tossing and turning but his slumber was interrupted by a yelp. Jaune sat right up and came face to face with someone cloaked in a black robe. The cloaked figure wasted no time in bolting out of the cabin. Jaune wasn't about to let this opportunity go so he followed in close pursuit.
The figure ran into the woods and Jaune almost lost him in the darkness but he heard a loud shout from Sun coming from his left. The monkey tailed faunus kept hollowing every once in a while to let Jaune know where he was. They finally came to a clearing by a cliff. The cloaked figure retreated all the way back to the cliff.
Jaune, Ren, and Sun all surrounded him and cut off all routes of escape. Sun raised his hand and pointed his finger at the robed person
"You've tickled your last fanny, Danny!"
Ren immediately face palmed and Jaune just stared at Ren with a quizzical look.
"MY NAME'S CARL" shouted the robed figure before pulling off their cloak. Under the cloak was a boy about the same height as Jaune with curly hair and brown eyes. "And you!" Carl pointed an accusing finger at Jaune. "What is up with your buns! They're hard as rocks!"
Jaune smirked.
"They don't call me Funbuns for nothing. I have the some of the softest buns throughout all of Vale but you see I've trained my buns to be something lethal"
Carl's eyes widened in shock
"No…you don't mean…"
"Yes! I have buns of steel! They're trained to automatically clench up whenever danger is nearby"
Carl's face was filled with defeat and despair. He fell down onto his hands and knees with his head bowed down.
"I surrender…I'm no match for your buns"
"Hmph…come back when your hands can take the buns of fun"
"Nice job guys, another one caught!" Sun exclaimed pumping his fist in the air.
Their celebration was cut short by a loud rustle coming from behind them. The three detectives turned and readied themselves for a grimm but were surprised to find a silently chuckling Ozpin. The headmaster strolled over to them all while silently chuckling to himself. He went over and grabbed Carl by the ear and started dragging him back towards camp.
Before he left he approached Jaune and opened his mouth as if to finally say something, but all that came out were more chuckles. Ozpin walked all the way back to camp chuckling, not saying one word.
"That was…weird…" stated Jaune
"Aaah never mind him, we solved our second case!" exclaimed Sun. Ren nodded, silently sharing the boy's enthusiasm.
"Yea we did!"
"Hey you know at the end of some cheesy movies they leap into the air and high five."
"Yea…"
"Let's do that"
"But-"
"DO IT!" Sun yelled. Jaune immediately complied and with that midair high five their second case came to a close.
…
NEXT TIME ON BEACON BRIGADE
"Give it up Frylord!"
"Oh no X-ray and Va- wait who are you losers?"
…
"DETECTIVE FLUTTERNUTTERS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
…
A/N- Sorry for taking so long to update, been busy with things and stuff. Hopefully this got a few giggles, if not I hope you at least smiled. Almost done plotting the second arc for my other story so expect things there soon. Please leave a review and have a good night
*puts on sunglasses*
Detective Carnage out