Thanks for the reviews, and I hope that I get more this chapter. This is to the four who did review. Thank you!
When I woke up it was because Tom was shaking me. I looked up at him.
"I guess we both fell asleep," He said, pointing to the sky. I turned and looked. It was sunset and was totally gorgeous. The sky was lit up with reds, pinks, oranges, and yellows that made it look on fire.
"I don't want to leave. I want to stay here until the stars are all in the sky. This is one of the best places in Toronto where you can see the stars," I told him softly. He kissed my head and began playing with my hair some more then massaging my scalp with his fingers. I moaned slightly cause it felt really good. God me being with him felt so right, but in reality it was wrong.
"We don't have to. We can stay out here all night for all I care. I even have a blanket in my car." He told me right back, stopping his massaging. I looked up at him and loved the way that the sunset made his face look. I impulsively reached up and rested my hand on his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned his head into my hand.
"Tom, I think, no I know that I… well I… I lo—" He opened his eyes and rested his finger on my lips, silencing me.
"Don't say it. Say it when you have the confidence to, because I don't want you to take it back later on." Tears welled up in my eyes and ran down my cheeks.
"God this is so wrong!" I cried, burying my head in his chest. He rubbed his hand up and down my back, trying to comfort me as I sobbed. Thankfully I had water and smudge-proof make-up on.
"I'm sorry Jude. I just can't help the way I feel about you." Tom whispered, resting his head on mine.
"But why do you have to be dating my sister?" My muffled voice came out. His chest moved with slight ironic laughter.
"That's just the way things turned out. Plus I didn't realized how I felt about you until I learned more about you through dating your sister."
"God Tom, I just… I just feel like my world just turned upside down and life as we know it is going into total chaos."
"I feel the same way Jude. And really, metaphorically, that's how it is."
"As much as I want to stay here, I have to go back home and receive a verbal lashing from my parents. Maybe you should drop me off a block away so that Sadie doesn't go karate on my ass for hanging out with you." He sighed sadly and stood up first, offering me a hand up.
I accepted it, but he pulled me up so close to him I felt nervous, like he was going to kiss me again, which I wanted but didn't want. Instead he just picked up his stuff in one hand and kept mine in the other. We walked in silence to his car, and the ride was equally as silent.
When we pulled up to the curb a block away, he turned the car off. We sat there for a while, me staring at the window at Tom's reflection, which was staring intently at me. I finally turned at looked at him, staring into his searching and worried blue orbs. He reached over and cupped my cheek.
"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" He asked in a very concerned tone. I nodded my head and covered his hand with mine
"I just… need time to think. I don't know, maybe I won't. I'm just so confused right now. I'll… I'll see you later." I dropped my hand and turned my head so that his would also. I un-buckled my seat belt and opened the car door. I got out and turned back around, leaning down so that I could look at Tom. "I will se you later, won't I? You're not going to totally avoid me, are you?' He smiled softly.
"Never." He whispered. I nodded, closed the door and started walking down the street. I wrapped my arms around my torso to attempt stop the butterflies. How was I going to ever face Sadie again? "Jude wait!" Tom called, getting out of his car and running towards me. I slowly turned around, and right as I did so, Tom swept me up into a huge hug. That was enough to make me crack. I went limp in his arms and sobbed. He sat down on the curb of the sidewalk and sat me on his lap, holding me closely.
"Jude? Tom?" Someone asked in a panicked voice from a car. I brought my head up from his chest and looked over to the road. Sadie was jumping out of her friends, Melissa, car. I broke down again seeing my sister's worried face because I didn't deserve to be worried over. Not by her at least.
She crouched down next to us, ignoring the fact that she was wearing a super short skirt, and began stroking my hair.
"Is she okay? Melissa and I were just looking for her cause my parents are worried out of their minds. What happened?" Sadie asked in a slightly panicked voice. Tom took a deep breath, and I knew that he was getting ready to lie to Sadie.
"I don't know. I saw her running out of school today when I got sent to the principals office, so I followed her to see if she was okay, but she just stood and stared at me blankly. So I lead her to my car and drove her around all day, trying to get her to talk, but she never said anything. Finally when I was bringing her home cause it's dark, she told me to pull over, so I did. She got out and started walking, so I followed. I told her to wait, and I hugged her because I thought that she might have just needed a hug all day, and she started breaking down and got all limp, so I sat down and just held her. I really don't know what's wrong with her." While Tom had been lying I had clamed down my sobbing until I was just sniffling and the tears came no more.
"I heard about what you said, by the way, and we'll talk about it later. You're my boyfriend and that's not how you act about your girlfriend. It'll give are relationship a bad name." Sadie growled under her breath. I shook my head, got up, and began waking. Did she really have to put emphasis of those words? They words that I had tainted because I couldn't control my stupid emotions. God dammit it Jude! Why do I always have to be stupid?
"Jude! Hey!" Sadie yelled, trying to catch up in her heels with my fast pace. When she did, she put her arm around my shoulders, but I shrugged it off because her touch burned. I felt unworthy. "What's going on with you?"
"Just leave me alone Sadie," I said quietly. She sighed and stopped walking. I kept walking, even picking up my pace. I guess that wasn't the reaction she was hoping for, cause she let out a frustrated grunt, took off her heels, and ran to catch up with me.
"Why won't you talk to me? I am your older sister after all."
"Yah, so now suddenly you care so much about me. Listen Sadie just leave me alone. I really don't want to talk to anyone right now." And with that I began jogging. I was happy that Sadie didn't try to catch up because I didn't know if I would be able to hold up. I might crack and burst out with the truth as I longed to do. Only the fact that I knew it would kill Sadie made me silence my words. Just because we don't get along doesn't mean that I don't love her.
I quietly opened the front door and softly closed it behind me. Now the next door would be a trick because it creaked, but only when it got to a certain point. I opened it just so that I could slip in and since I was pretty skinny and, sadly, flat chested (but I do have something, which will soon grow,) I managed to get in, avoiding the creaky floorboard, which was like booby trap for trying to sneak in. A couple of years watching Sadie sneak in paid off, cause I managed to get up into my room undetected by my parents.
Sadie walking in down stairs, and I stuck my head out the door to listen to what she was telling our parents.
"You didn't find her?" My mom asked, meeting Sadie in front of the door. She was shaking, tense, and concern etched every feature of her face. My dad appeared next to her, looking depressed and exhausted.
"No, I found her, but she looked disconnected and went to Jamie's house. I know that you're going to want to march over there and scream at her, but please do what you guys never did for me and give her some space. She'll come around." Thank god that Sadie cares a little. If my parents were to go over there or call, Jamie would know that I'm okay and make up some excuse. When Sadie got to my door, I had retracted my head and sat down on my bed after shutting my door, she quietly walked in.
"Are you really not going to talk to me?" She whispered into the darkness that was my room. There was no light on and it was dark outside with no moon, so it was pitch black in my room.
"Sades, please take your own advice and give me some space." I whispered right back. She sighed, and I'm guessing shook her head, opened my door, which flooded light into my room and on me, she stopped and looked back at me.
"I'm here for you Jude. You can tell me anything you want, and I'll listen." And then she turned around, shut my door, and walked into her room.
"Not with this I can't." I murmured, rolling onto my side so that I could look out the window. The wind blew away the clouds from the moon and I basked in the moonlight, staring up at it like it held all the answers to me troubles.
A single tear leaked out of my eye, running across my temple and soaking into my hair. God what have I done?
So did it totally suck? You can tell me by reviewing!