I stumbled, barely awake, to my mailbox in my favorite red boxers and a plain white tee shirt. Rubbing my eyes and yawning along the way I finally reached my destination. It was about sixty degrees Fahrenheit outside, the sun was rising, and dew was painted on the lawn. I reached into the mailbox and grabbed the mail…

"Bills, bills… Kairi? It's been a while," I spoke to myself aloud.

I made my way back into the house and into the kitchen. I reached into the refrigerator and retrieved the orange juice and grabbed a glass from the cupboard and poured some. I took a sip and twirled the envelop between my fingers...

"Why wouldn't she just call? It must be important if she wrote it…" I carefully broke the seal making sure not to damage the contents. I unfolded the paper within it, prepared myself for the worst, and began to read.

"What the fuck is this? Who is she to make me look like the asshole?"

Frustrated and confused I reached for the vodka in the freezer and added it to my orange juice and slammed it.

"How about I make this a little more personable… I'm going to make her a tape recording. I want her to hear and know my fury."

I searched through my trunk in my bedroom and obtained my recorder and a blank cassette. I went back into the kitchen; made myself another drink… slammed it… then made another.

"Hello Kai-ri! So I'm a terrible friend huh? So uh… I was never there right? I didn't love you?"

Tears started running down my face. Whether it was the alcohol, anger, or true disappointment… I don't know.

"Ever stop to think that if it wasn't for me your ass would've been consumed by the darkness? Of course I loved you! That's why I trusted you! That's why I saved you… But how could we be together? You let the drugs get to you… You lost your mind. You were the girl Riku kept bringing home! I cried to you because I loved you and wanted nothing more than to be with you! Fuck Kairi.. I got drunk and wanted to kill myself because I know I couldn't have you."

I sat there for a minute in silence and reminisced… Tears streamed down from both my eyes down my face and onto the kitchen table. I slammed my drink once again and made another… fuck sips. I glanced down at the letter and continued speaking.

"I remember you making my meals but do you remember why I stopped eating? You told me I was fat. You told me I gained weight. You told me it looked like I was letting myself go. How do you think that made me feel coming from my one and only?

Damn… you kept thinking that I love Riku and wanted to be with him. I'm not queer Kairi. I know that you've been checked into the mental hospital for some time now but come on Kairi. You have to know that I love you. Riku is like my brother. We went through a lot together. I saved him and you from the darkness. Nothing sexual about it, just me being a good friend and cleaning up everyone else's mess as usual.

You chose to spend your nights with me. I never fucking asked you to leave your friends. They stopped wanting to see you because you started losing your marbles babe.

And just sex, really? I made love to you. You are the only person I have ever even had intercourse with and you're calling it just sex?

We didn't date because you kept fucking Riku. I love you more than anything Kairi but I couldn't take that shit. I kept drinking because you kept fucking him. Over and over. No matter how many times I told you it killed me on the inside. I turned to alcohol to ease my pain. I bought you those stiletto's... and it was your puke on them, not mine.

I did lie to you though about my dad beating me. He never did. I just told you that so you'd let me stay the night with you instead of going to Riku's. I never gave you a reason though. You assumed it's because he thought I was gay. Not at all, my father loves me and would never lay a hand on me.

As for your mother… you introduced her to heroin. You're dad left you guys because he couldn't take it anymore. Can you blame him?

I convinced your mom to go to rehab… and told you to get your ass out some more. Naomi was cool but I quickly regretted that decision when I heard about you fucking Roxas, my cousin, her boyfriend. How the fuck could you?

Ah… I'm sorry. I know you aren't in the right state of mind (I look at the booze) but I guess I'm not either."

I finished my drink and sat there in silence.

"I had my uncle give you that job… I wanted to be with you so bad Kairi and I spent my time trying to impress you. I meant it every time I said I loved you but I had to send you to the mental hospital. You started cutting, drinking, popping pills, and you'd wake up in places not even knowing how you got there. I know it was the darkness but I miss the old Kairi… I love you… love Sora."

I sat back and listened to the recording. Should I send it or no… she won't even understand. I don't even know how far gone her mind is now. Well what do I really have going for me? I lost Kairi.

I know what to do.

I put the cassette and the recorder into a box, taped it shut, addressed it, and got dressed. I left the house and started walking toward the post office. Box in one hand, I reached into my pocket with the other and grabbed a smoke and placed it between my lips. Reached for a lighter, lit it, and puffed hard.

Upon reaching the post office there was no line. I had the box mailed and returned home. I retrieved my pistol from the bottom of my trunk and just stared at it…

I decided this is best. I placed the barrel between my lips… and pulled the trigger.