"Till the End"
Chapter 2
Captain's Cabin
The one bonus of being rebuilt with a lot of tech is hangovers are nonexistent, well so far I haven't had any. I drank far more than I could have before I died which usually helped me sleep but that tactic doesn't seem to work anymore. My nightmare's last night consisted of Ashley. She was stuck in one of those damn stasis pods and I couldn't get her out which is what just woke me up. Solid 4 hours of sleep, awesome.
"EDI where the hell are we?"
"We are an hour away from Illium, Shepard"
"Thanks EDI, is anyone else up and wandering around beside my favorite pilot?"
"Don't get all sentimental on me Shepard I'll have to inform the entire galaxy that the badass Commander Shepard is actually the pansy ass Commander Shepard" replys Joker. I knew he was listening he's always listening to everything going on around the ship.
"Then I'll just have to accidently break your hand again to prove a point Joker" I reply with a chuckle remembering when I actually did accidently break his hand. He has a disease that makes his bones insanely weak and brittle but I didn't know it when I first met him. When we first met I shook his hand a little too hard and broke it, opps.
"Very funny Shepard"
"I try. EDI can you ask Kasumi to come up to my cabin when she is awake"
"Of course, Commander"
I should have enough time for a shower and check my messages before she wakes up. Kasumi was the first person I recruited. We met up at the Citadel and hit it off right away. She reminded me of my younger sister that was killed by batarians on Mindoir when I was a teenager. I couldn't save her but I saved 10 other kids after I found a gun and locked us in a hotel room killing 5 batarians in my efforts before the Alliance found us. After I helped her get the greybox of her deceased lover she has trusted me completely and opened up to me kind of like Tali did with me on the SR-1.
After I shower and change into my usual comfy clothes which are basically workout clothes I sit and read my messages. Miranda and Jacob both want to talk to me about something personal so I send them a message that I will meet with them after recruiting the Justicar Samara and the assassin Thane. That's when I can feel someone is in my cabin.
"Kasumi I hope you turned away when I was changing" I say to the "empty" room.
"Shep that would be like seeing my older sister naked and I so don't want to see that" she replies as she uncloaks herself. She is obsessed with her tactical cloak she cloaks herself whenever she leaves he quarters, the observation room.
"And how do you always know when I'm around when I'm cloaked?"
"I could hear you breathing. I'll talk to Mordin to see if we can upgrade your cloak with sound dampeners after we recruit our new team members. Which reminds me would you like to come with me to get this Justicar and assassin? It should be fun especially since I'm asking Jack as well."
"Your inviting a thief and a convict to recruit a Justicar who will probably kill us on sight because we have broken laws? And here I thought we were best friends, Shep" she says with a smirk.
"I need a strong biotic who could rival an asari so that's why I need Jack and I thought if worst came to worst you could cloak and knock her the fuck out" I reply with a smile not meaning the last part.
"I love how you make friends. I will come along"
"You can't steal anything, Kas. You promised to hold off till after we beat the Collectors" I say with a laugh and she pouts. I walk over to my fish tank feed them and just stand and watch them letting a friendly silence come between the two of us.
"I bet you want to know about what happened on Horizon" I say without looking at her. She's one of the few people I actually trust to open up to, on this ship aside from Jack, Garrus, Dr. Chakwas, and Joker.
"Witnessing that kiss I could guess you to were serious in the past but she was not happy with you about Cerberus and she hurt you I could see it in the way you acted after what she said. You don't have to tell me what happened after we left but if you want to talk I'm here." She tells me still sitting on the couch. I turn to her and give her a small smile in appreciation that she understands I'm usually a closed off person and I don't open up easily. I take a seat on the other end of the L-shaped couch taking a minute to think about what I want to say.
"Jack and you are the only people from this new crew I trust explicitly. I trust Garrus, Chakwas and Joker because we have been through a lot together as you know so what I say to you about Ashley and my past doesn't leave that circle. Understood?" I tell her sternly. She's kind of taken aback by how serious I am but she nods her head in understanding. I nod back I take a deep breath before I tell her my story.
"We first met on Eden Prime when I was trying to find and secure the Prothean beacon that was on that colony. My team and I saved her after her whole unit was wiped out by the Geth. I also saved her after she got to close to the beacon. It knocked me the hell out because of the memories it forced into my head so Ash and Kaiden carried me back to the Normandy and Anderson got her transferred to the Normandy crew. While we were chasing after Saren we were with each other a lot because like me she loved guns" Kasumi giggled at that because she knows how obsessed I am with my guns. I've given them all names after all.
"So we were hanging out a lot and I got to know about her and her family and I started opening up to her. I started falling hard for her after awhile but I didn't know if she was interested until one day I overheard a conversation she was having with her sister. Ash said a lot of very nice things about me but it was more than just friendship type things, if you know what I mean" I say smiling remembering that conversation she had with her sister.
"I still didn't voice my feelings for her like a planned too because we were called to go to Virmire." I feel somber thinking about that mission "I chose to save Ashley and the STG squad and let Kaidan die. I couldn't save them both but I knew I couldn't lose Ash. After the debrief I told her I could not lose her so I went to get her back instead of Kaiden and in response she kissed me so that was the start of our relationship. No one knew about us until after we beat Saren and she stayed by my side until I died so Horizon was the first time I saw her." I finally look at Kasumi and I can tell by her face that she is shocked. "The only people that knew about me and Ashley was the ground team of the SR-1, Chakwas and Joker because it's against regs in the Alliance so it was a secret. I tried to find her after I woke up in that Cerberus lab but no one could find her or tell me where she was not even you and that sucked serious ass because I missed her so damn much and I still do. After you and Garrus left us, I told her I loved her for the first time and asked her to come with me but you can guess how that went down" once I finished my story we sat in silence for a couple minutes while we both processed everything.
Next thing I know Kasumi is sitting next to me and hugging me from the side and I just break down and start crying, repeating how much I miss Ash and love her while she tries to comfort me. After who knows how long I stop crying as Kasumi lifts my chin up so I can look her in the eyes.
"Amy, I didn't know you back during that Saren stuff but I know what you did and it was amazing. I know you now, you're like the big sister I never had. I know you're not with Cerberus but you are working with them to save human colonies she should know that you would never join Cerberus but maybe she's too scared to be with you again because you died the first time around. I saw the way she looked at you she still cares about you but she's too confused emotionally and mentally. Give it time she will come back to you." She gives me a small smile and wipes away my tears.
"Thanks Kas. I needed to let that shit out. I have to go and talk to Jack because I didn't have dinner with her last night as usual. I'm surprised she didn't come up here and kick my ass," I say as a get up off the couch with a smile.
"I might have went down to her hiddey-hole and ate dinner with her and we may have talked about the stuff the happened about Horizon." She tells me looking kind of nervous.
"Kasumi that's fine don't look like about to freak out, I trust you both. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go and be Commander Shepard" I say with a smile. Kasumi leaves my cabin I can see she cloaked before she hits the elevator. Now I must prepare myself to visit my favorite convict.
Engineering Deck
No one is wandering around the engineering deck because it is still early but I know Jack will be awake because like me she doesn't sleep much. She has her own nightmares to deal with probably more than she has told me about. As I make my way down to her "quarters" I can see her laying on her cot so I sit on the table and wait until she acknowledges me because I know she's awake.
"You could've atleast brought me breakfast, bitch"
"Rupert isn't up and it seems the only people up all the time on this ship are you, me and Kasumi. You can uncloak yourself by the way"
"You're no fun, Amy"
Jack and I both laugh. These two are super entertaining.
"I'm sorry about last night Jack. I just needed to be alone for a while after all that happened on Horizon but to make it up to you would you like to come with me and miss master thief over there to recruit people? Odds are we will get to fight people and blow shit up. What do you say?" I ask with my best smile.
"I understand Shepard and yes I will come with you but if I don't get to kill something there will be hell to pay" she responds as she sits up from her cot.
"Shepard we just docked on Illium" interrupts EDI.
"Thanks, EDI. You two keep your comms on and I will call you when we are going to go get our new fresh meat but there's a friend I have to see first."
"Okay, Shepard" they both say in unison as I walk away and I can hear them talking. Hopefully, they aren't planning anything illegal.
"EDI can you tell Garrus to meet me at the airlock please" I say as I head up to my cabin to get my armor.
"Of course Shepard"
Illium
"So Shepard what is on the schedule today?" Garrus asks me as we walk off the Normandy.
"Well Garrus we will be going…"
"Hello Commander Shepard, you docking fee has been paid for and I've been told to help you in anyway I can." Says a random asari I have never seen before
"Thanks and who do I owe my thanks to for the docking fee?"
"That would be Liara T'Soni, Commander"
"Thank you we will be on our way. So Garrus as I was saying we are going to see Liara. Although I'm not sure how she knew we were going to be here I wanted it to be a surprise"
"I think she will be surprised Shepard" Garrus says. I'm not sure what he means by that so I'm just going to let it go for now.
We make it to Liara's office and we are let in by her secretary to an interesting sight of our usually passive asari threatening to filet someone with her mind. Garrus and I look at each other with peaked interests as to why Liara would threaten something like her mother those couple years ago. Finally she turns around and she looks like the old shy archeologists we used to know.
"Shepard" she says as she walks around her desk to give me a hug.
"Liara, so your filleting people now?" I ask after she pulls away.
"I wasn't serious. A serious threat would've been telling him I was sending you to get the money he owed me." She replies with a smile as she hugs Garrus.
"That is a valid point you have there, my friend" I say with a smile and walk to the window to look out at the view of the trading floor.
These people have no idea what is going on with the Collectors. They don't know that the Reapers are coming and that they want to kill all of us aliens and humans alike. Sometimes I wish I could be as ignorant as they are just going around with my life without a care in the world being a follower. Then I think about who would save me if I was a follower…..no one would it's my job. I have to keep fighting and surviving to give the people I love the future they deserve whether they want me in it or not.
"I'm worried about her Liara…" I hear Garrus say when I stop wondering about life.
"You know I can hear you guys"
"Damn super hearing Shepard" replies Garrus.
"So, Liara what is going on with you?" I ask Liara after giving a smile to Garrus.
"I actually need your help Shepard. I'm going after the Shadow Broker"
"Why Liara? He's the most powerful information broker in the galaxy. It's insanely dangerous."
"He took a friend of mine that saved my life I need to get him back if he's alive or get revenge if he isn't."
"You know I understand revenge better than anyone Liara. I'll help you but don't let it consume you. It will ruin you if you let it" I say to her. Through the mind melds we shared during the mission against Saren she knows what I did to the batarians on Torfan. I massacred them because of what they did to my family and friends on Mindoir. I was never the same after that.
"Thank you Shepard. I need someone to hack into some terminals to get more information about his agents. Garrus do you think you can handle that?" Liara turns to him and they exchange a look that I don't understand.
"Sure I'll comm. you when I have the information." he leaves the office leaving just Liara and I.
She sits behind her desk and I sit in one of the chairs behind her wondering why she sent Garrus to hack terminals when that's one of my favorite pass times.
"So Shepard, my sources have been following you ever since you woke up. You are doing some impressive things to stop the collectors."
"You should come with me I need more friends than a Cerberus crew on my ship"
"I can't I have to stop the Shadow Broker…I know you understand" she whispered the last part because we both now I do understand.
"I do understand just don't let it change you" she nods in response.
"Garrus told me about Ashley…" I freeze when she says that and look away I can't think about what happened with her anymore.
"Not now Liara. I can't think about it now it hurts to much. I need your help to find a Justicar Samara and an assassin named Thane. Do you have any information on either of them?" I ask to avoid talking about the subject of Ashley.
"Yes, I am a very good information broker Shepard. I will send the information to your omnitool" she says with a sigh, understanding my request to drop the subject for now but I know she won't back down forever.
"Liara all this information points to a female operative none of the information I found fits at all. Who gave you this information?" Garrus says through Liara's omni tool.
"Thank you Garrus. Shepard and I will take it from here" by the look in Liara's eye I think things are about to get violently interesting.
"Garrus this is Shepard. Head back to the Normandy and ask Jack and Kasumi to go to Eternity and meet me there." I feel like I will need a drink after whatever Liara is planning.
"Will do, Shepard"
"So Liara what am I helping you with?"
"Doing what you do best, getting information using aggressive negotiations. Nyxeris can you come to my office?"
This should be interesting. At least I will get to vent some of my frustration.
Eternity
"I'd like to send a shockwave so far up that bitch's ass she won't know what to do with herself"
"I hope you're not talking about my XO she's starting to grow on me a little bit," I say when I walk up to Jack and Kasumi. They looked shocked that I heard them it was entertaining. I ordered a drink from the bartender and look at Jack waiting for an explanation.
"Ya, Shepard you know how well we get along but I will wait until after our suicide mission before I do it. I'll even make sure she stays alive." She "explains" looking nervous
"Right." I knew exactly who they were talking about but I've decided to let it go for now.
"We have to go recruit a badass Justicar and an assassin. I vote we get the assassin first then the Justicar and hopefully they don't kill each other on the ship" I inform my two teammates as I throw back my drink and pay. I walk away from the bar smiling knowing I left them confused.
Captain's Cabin
Walking into my room I realize what a crazy ass day it has been and I am surprised I'm not in the Medbay right now. I have a shit ton of things to tell Ashley tonight. After I take a shower and grab my vodka I start to talk to the woman, I love even though she may never want me.
"So I saw Liara today. She different now she's not the shy girl we saved on Therium, shes harder now and I do not think it's a good thing. Her secretary was betraying her and I had to use my not so friendly interrogation techniques to figure that out…I don't know what Liara did with her after I left. After I left Liara, Jack Kasumi and I went to go and recruit an assassin. I know you think it's fucking crazy and it is but he's different. An entertaining part of his recruitment was he was on a mission to kill Nassana Dantius. Remember when she tricked me into killing her sister during the Saren mission? So I didn't object to Thane killing her. After we recruited Thane we went to go recruit a Justicar, now that was an interesting experience. After we help her find the ship a criminal she has been tracking escaped on from Illium she pledge a vow to help me until I defeat the Reapers. Still not sure how I feel about that vow or pledge. During both those missions, I saved a bunch of salarians, saved some salarian breeding data, found evidence to convict a smuggler, saved a volus who was high on god only knows what, and killed a murderer. So it was a crazy but semi productive day. I talked to Jacob and Miranda and both of them have personal things they need my help with so we will be doing that next unless Miranda doesn't find information about the Shadowbroker to help Liara because that's who she wants' revenge on. She won't tell me the whole story about that but then I'm not telling her the whole story about us so it might be fair. I need you Ashley I always will. I need you to trust me and believe in me again. I'm exhausted so I need to sleep before I have to go help Miranda with her sister. I wish I could sleep again with you in my arms. I love you.
Till the seas turn to tears of sorrow,
Till the moon wearies of its daily voyage,
Till the last star abandons a forlorn sky,
Till then shall I love thee,
Till then shall I live in joy."
I turn off my terminal finish off the rest of my drink hoping to have no nightmares but the odds of that are quite fucking slim. I lay on my bed and wait until sleep comes to me.
The poem is called "Till" be Staurt MacFarlane I forgot to put that in the first chapter.
Most events from Mass Effect 2 will be expressed through the journal to Ashley but I'm going to add interactions between team members which will mostly be about Ashley to keep up the fshep/Ashley romance until I get to Mass Effect 3 then it will basically be all my Shepard and Ashley. I might add one or two chapters of Ashley's point of view so ideas came to me the other day when I was driving to St. Louis so if you would want to see that let me know.
I will explain more of the fshep/ash relationship through dreams and talking to other characters just an fyi.
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