Running my fingers through my thick, reddish hair, I walk out the front door. It's early in the day and the sun is hot and bright. Turning to walk down the hill, people pass me and wave. I really have nothing to say to them, and they're used to my demeanor. A lot of people think I joined the Regulators, because I wear the Regulator Duster for my armor. Really, my mom brought it home for me one day and I figured it suited me. I've never been outside the town without my father, and even then we didn't go far. There's no need for me to leave. I have all I need here, and even though I want to advance my knowledge of the land, I can't leave Dizzy. Another reason, why I secretly hate her.

My parents don't notice the things I do about Dizzy, and frankly if I didn't notice them, she'd already be either half-dead or a full on Raider. If I didn't have to watch her so goddamned much, than maybe I'd have room to grow on my own. Maybe I'd feel alright about wanting to take off from this small town, and maybe I wouldn't feel like her protector and caregiver most of the time. Until she can manage on her own, I'm stuck here. I knew that all along, so I have no idea why I haven't warmed up to it.

I spot her first at the opposite side of the crater, talking to a wandering trader. She laughs at whatever he says and leans forward to talk to him. Mom, dad, and myself warned her to be wry of traders, no matter what. But does she listen? No. She probably doesn't even realize I'm following her. She never does, which is how I figured out where she was going with the Raider boys. It pisses me off. Why do I have to be so goddamned responsible and all-knowing and she can simply parade around without a care in the world? It isn't fair, and really, I sort of despise my parents for putting this on me. They can protect her just fine. I don't know what they were thinking, when they appointed me her guardian.

"Dizzy, what are you doing?"

I say as I come up behind her. She turns around, without being shocked at my arrival in the least.

"What's it look like I'm doing bone-head? Talking to a trader. What's it to you?"

"Dizzy, come home."

"It's boring at home with you being all lazy and stupid. It's better out here."

"How so?"

"There's people to talk to."

By now she's facing me, her hands on her hips. The trader takes this moment as his chance to avoid conflict and quietly leave the area. Good choice for him because if I got too mad I might have snapped and brought him into it.

"Dizzy just go home. I don't want to fight with you today."

"What are you? Dad or something? You can't tell me what to do."

"Look while they're gone I'm in charge and I say go home."

"Fuck you."

She takes off like a frenzied Yao Gui.

"Dizzy!"

Calling after her does nothing. She just flips me the finger behind her back, and takes off to the outskirts of Megaton. Any other day I would chase her, and drag her kicking and screaming back home. Today, isn't one of those days. Frankly I can't give a shit anymore about her antics. If she wants to go off and be a Raider, than why not just let her at this point? Mom was what, nineteen when she got out here? Sure she was older than Dizzy but she was doing what she wanted. Maybe that's what my mom is trying to stop, though. She told me she was lonely back then, because she had no one. Dizzy is different. Mom and dad love her and I'm always around so there's no real need for her to feel so lonely and angry all the time. Either way, for the first time since we were kids, I'm not going to chase her. It's her life, not mine. I plan on doing something worthwhile with my life, instead of getting doped up and fucked around with by a bunch of worthless Raiders.

"Whatever."

I say to no one and start the uphill walk back home. It isn't anything different. Today is no different than yesterday, or the day before. Dizzy stays home for a bit in the mornings, than takes off until the late hours of the night. She doesn't do this when mom and dad are home, because dad would tear up the town looking for her. Instead she only does it with me, because she knows I won't go telling our parents for fear of them bringing the wrath of god down on my head for letting her take off like that. You know, when she was first born I was really excited. I mean, I was thinking I'd have this best friend with me, and I could teach them everything. It didn't work out that way, though.

Instead, as we got older we just split apart. She stopped following me around and asking me to play with her. She would always call after me, and chase me outside. Usually she'd trip and fall, and it was me who had to take her back home and clean her cut up. My mom and dad thought this was cute, even though mom would always tell her to 'suck it up'. They liked that I cared about her that much, and she wanted to go everywhere with me. Then, I don't know what happened. I hit puberty, and then I got my first girlfriend. After that, Dizzy just fell into the shadows. I tried to include her, I did, but she never wanted to go. She'd play outside the front door sometimes, waiting for me to come back. When I did she would just look at me, open the door, and we'd walk inside. There wasn't anything said, but soon, she stopped doing that, too.

Maybe it's my fault that Dizzy and I aren't as close as we once were. Maybe I did let the natural process of hormones and girls and mischief get in the way of our relationship, but why should I feel bad for that? I tried, she was the one who closed herself off and did her own thing. And when she got older, she did the same thing. Suddenly boys and staying up and out all night became the latest craze, and when I'd show up to a friend's party or whatever to get her she'd just yell at me and tell me she hated me. I shouldn't give myself this much shit, for something I couldn't control. Dizzy and I are adults now, and should be responsible for our own actions. I tried, and I'm sorry it didn't work. I can't continue to look after my seventeen-year-old sister, when I'm already tuning twenty-two soon.

On the way back to my house, I run into my uncle Gob. He's outside his shop, working on a project of some sorts. He keeps an eye on me and Dizzy, even though we're adults. Anything I don't report to my parents, he does. I use to get angry at him for it, but now I see he did it for our safety.

"Hey."

I say, sighing and lighting a cigarette. Gob looks up and me, and gives me a smile. Zack left Megaton two weeks ago, to do whatever it was he wanted to do. My dad trained him, like he trained me, so no one is really worried about him. He'll come back before the end of the month like he promised. Really, Gob is just lonely.

"What's up?"

Gob stands up beside me and I lean against the wall of his shop.

"Nothing. Heading back home. Boring day."

"Yeah that's all anyone says around here. Frankly I like it better boring. Means no danger and nothing to worry about."

"I guess."

"You weren't around back in the day. There was a ton of shit going down. Maybe that's why us old-folk like the silence better. Got sick of the noise."

"You're not that old, Gob."

"Yes I am. It's alright though, I don't feel it. When your parents coming back?"

"Couple days. They're probably on their way now."

"Yeah, I don't doubt that. Where's your sister?"

I exhale smoke as I sigh, and shake my head.

"I don't know. I don't care. Somewhere. Probably with the Raiders."

"Cain, that isn't good and you know it. You should go get her."

"Why is it my responsibility? She's seventeen, she should take care of herself."

Gob folds his arms in front of his chest, and sits on an old chair he has outside of the shop.

"You're her brother, Cain. She's seventeen, which is more of a reason for you to watch her. Girls can get in big trouble at this age."

"I'm only her brother by a quarter, and not even that."

"You both share DNA that's from the same person, doesn't matter how thin, you're related. And regardless of that, you should still care about her."

"Maybe if she wasn't a bitch I would."

Gob laughs at that, and leans against the back of the chair.

"Yeah, I hear ya. She's a lot like your mother, you know. If it wasn't for Charon…I'm a bit scared to think of what would happen."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Your mother was always taking off and doing stupid shit, you know that. But at least with Charon around she wasn't that stupid. She thought about things, and had something to work and live for. I know you and Dizzy ain't close like you were but, still, she needs you."

"She says she hates me."

"Probably does for the moment. Girls at her age hate everyone. But it doesn't change the fact that she still needs you. She just won't tell you."

What Gob says bothers me. Already I have responsibilities and guilt I shouldn't, his words add insult to injury. I know he's only helping, but sometimes I wish he wouldn't. I'm sick, of feeling this way for someone else, when I can't even feel anything about or for myself.

"Yeah, well…it doesn't matter. I'm going home."

"What about your sister?"

"That doesn't matter either."

I know Gob is probably going to tell my parents that I let Dizzy run off. I don't care, though. For once I want to worry about myself, and not someone else. When I was seventeen, I didn't act that way. I have friends, but I never once told off my sister. Or said I hated her. In fact, I've endured five years of verbal abuse from her, without saying a goddamned word. It happened when she was twelve, when she first told me to 'piss off'. Well I'm tired of it. As soon as mom and dad get home, I'm going to sit down with them and have a talk. I want them to know it's time for me to do what Zack did, and leave Megaton. Sure Zack hung around a bit longer than he should have, but he didn't want to leave his dad alone. My parents have each other and Dizzy to count on. I need some me time, ya know? But first, I should prepare myself. Mom and dad won't let me blindly wander off into the Wasteland, and even though I'm twenty-two, I still respect and heed their word. Plus, I still live with them. It makes me mad to think, that at this age mom was doing so much more than what I've done. That she was…well, running wild in New Vegas.

Getting home, I go into my parent's room and grab my mom's old Pip-Boy from their file cabinet. She took it off to help hide her origins from Dizzy, and because she didn't need it anymore. Knowing the Capital Wasteland like the back of her hand, and needing only radiation to stay healthy, the Pip-Boy lost its purpose. She taught me how to take it off and on, in case I ever wanted to use it. So it's not like I'm going behind her back or anything like that.

Walking back to the kitchen, I take off my duster jacket. Grabbing a thin sheet of paper and a pencil, I slip it onto my left arm, and watch it come to life. At first, I don't know what to expect. I've never toyed with it, or seen mom toy with it. Whizzing, whirring, it comes to life and automatically lights up dark and light green. I stare at it, mesmerized at all the power this small, tiny contraption holds. Mom said it should work for me, even though we don't share any DNA. Surprisingly, she's right. But, being a geek of technology I think mom tinkered with it, just so I'd be able to use it if I needed to.

I can't be stuck staring at this thing forever, I know that. Even though it's just past noon, Dizzy could walk through the door and demand an explanation about this. And that's something I really don't feel like giving, to be honest. So instead of letting myself enjoy something, I rush through it, because of my sister. It annoys me, how this affects every aspect of my life, and how I can't do anything about it. At least, not until mom and dad get home. Placing the sheet of paper over a map of the Capital Wasteland, I trace it best I can. If I'm going to leave here, I need mom and dad to know that I'm capable and prepared for it. They warned me time and time again, food is scarce, and danger is rich. That if I were to ever go, to be prepared. This of course is an example of 'do as I say, not as I do' because shortly thereafter they took off with nothing but their guns and the clothes on their backs.

Finishing the tracing, I fold the paper and slip it into my pocket. Then, I begin the process of getting the Pip-Boy off of my arm. It's simple, really, easier than getting it on I think. It dies out, without anything to live on, and the bright screen turns blank in my hand. I wish there was a way for me to tinker with it. You know, probe and explore it. But, even in my room I'm not safe from my sister. She's not stupid, either. She knows these things come from vaults, and knows there's no reason for us to have one since neither of us leave, and mom and dad 'know' the Wasteland.

Slipping it back into the filing cabinet, I make my way back downstairs. Heading into the living room, I take the gun from my back and start to relax. All I ever do is relax, and too much of it makes you tired. Figure I should start to rest up now, though. Pulling out the traced map I made, I hold it above my head while I stare at it. Rivet City is at the lower right hand side, past the D.C. Ruins. Instead of drawing squares like the map has to symbolize locations, I drew X's. Abbreviations serve as their official title, and as long as I can read it, who cares? I'll have to pick where I want to start off going to, and I decide on Rivet City.

It makes the most sense, really. I could begin from here, move to Rivet City through the D.C. Ruins, and then work my way counter-clockwise around the map, hitting every place I possibly can in the meantime. I know mom and dad won't like the idea at first, but eventually they'll understand it. My mother, more than my father. She'll understand how I want to get out, but it isn't wanderlust. It's the need for my own space. To get away from my sister, and have no one to worry about except myself. I've never had that before. Even when I was really young, and in the facility. I had other boys to worry about, and think about as I laid awake at night. Think about if they were okay, if anyone had ever really gotten out. I always had another thing on my mind, and now, I only want one thing: myself.

Call me selfish, stupid, or whatever it may be. Truth is I don't care. I inherit my calm demeanor from my father, and even though I don't show it, inside I'm boiling up. I'm angry, pissed off, and annoyed with things around here. With constantly having to worry about a sister who doesn't care about me, or want to listen to me. With all the things I don't really feel I should have to worry about. I can understand my parents wanting to get away for a bit, and take time for themselves, but…Dizzy is seventeen. She's old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. Why she chooses to constantly ignore the warning signs and advice people offer I have no clue. At this point, whatever happens is her fault. She brought it upon herself.

In the middle of my thoughts, a knock erupts on the door. Looking at it from the living room, I hesitate until it comes again. Sliding the paper in my pocket, I get up and walk over to the door. Opening it, I see Erica on the other side, smiling at me.

"Hey, stranger."

She kisses me, and I let her in. Erica and I spent the better half of our childhood playing together on the playground in Megaton. Now, with age, maturity, and adulthood looming over us, we've become a bit more, than just friends.

"What brings you here?"

I ask as she starts to walk into the living room. Closing the front door, I follow her, and take a seat beside her on the old pre-war couch.

"I saw you get into a fight with Dizzy today. Thought I'd stop by and see if you were alright."

"So you were spying on me?"

She shakes her head, smiling at me. I like her smile, her light eyes and her light hair. I like her almost enough to tell her the truth about me, my family, and our pasts. But, not yet. I don't know if I can trust her. If she'll leave me, or stand by my side.

"No, more like curious entertainment. But seriously Cain, you alright?"

Resting my elbows on my knees, I lean forward. Giving her a warm smile, I mask the thoughts and anger that reside just below my surface.

"It's always been like this. I'm use to it."

"You two use to be close though, right?"

"I guess, a long time ago. We were kids back then. She's a teenager now, almost an adult. People change."

She puts her hand over mine, and squeezes my fingers.

"Then why haven't you said anything to her about us?"

Dizzy has no idea Erica and I are involved.

"Because you're her only friend here, Erica. How would she feel if I told her that I was dating you? She'd feel like you betrayed her."

Even in my most intimate relationships, Dizzy plays a major role. I wish it wasn't this way. That I didn't have to hide dating Erica, because I feared how my sister might feel. I wish there was a way for me to just live, without the restraints that have been put on me. I know, there really isn't a way, if I stay in Megaton. Getting up I start to pace aimlessly. All my life, it was 'Keep Dizzy safe' or 'Watch your sister' or even 'Make sure she gets home on time' as if I was her parent. As if I have nothing better to do than to watch her. And all the while, I'm getting 'I hate you' and 'Fuck off' from her in the meantime. Never a 'thank you for saving my ass' or anything like that. I never told mom and dad about the time I had to come bail her out of trouble, because she couldn't keep her mouth shut with a rouge trader. I should have, but I didn't. And what did I get from Dizzy in return 'Always coming to my rescue like some hot-shot, get a life'.

"Cain? Cain, what's wrong?"

I stare at Erica, stopping my pacing and taking a deep breath in.

"Why is it always my job to watch her? Why do I always have to be her goddamned babysitter?"

"Because you're her brother, Cain."

"No I'm not!"

Shocked at my outburst, and my words, Erica stares at me. She looks at me like I've just dropped a bomb on her, and in retrospect I did.

"What?"

Erica's in disbelief. My words weren't spiteful, she knows that. They were true. People get mad and disown each other all the time, and get over it in mere seconds. Erica knows, this isn't the case. Sighing, I lean against the opening from the living room to the kitchen. I guess, I dug my own grave on this one.

"Dizzy…isn't my sister. I mean, she is but…not in the way you think."

"Cain? What are you talking about? Are you adopted?"

"Yes. I mean, no…I…I came from my father, but not my mother."

She cocks an eyebrow at me, and I sigh. This is getting nowhere fast.

"A kid from another relationship?"

Erica tries to fill in the blanks, but never in a million years, will she guess correctly.

"No, not that, either."

"Than what?"

"Erica…my father…my father was part of a secret…well, like…how do I explain this?"

"From the beginning?"

"No. It's not my business to tell about my parents' past. Only mine."

"Alright, then, what's yours? You were born in Megaton, raised in Megaton."

Erica came here only a few months after I did. She didn't know, that I arrived here holding my mother's hand, beside my father, new to the outside world.

"No. I was born from the blood samples and DNA of my father. In a lab, in a test-tube. My mother found me, when I was five. She broke me out, and brought me here. Raised me, as their son. It was only by chance they found me, I could have very well died there. I'm not my mother's son, and I'm not my father's son. I'm just a copy of him. An exact copy."

"But Charon is a ghoul."

"He wasn't always a ghoul. And if he wasn't, this is what he would look like. Even now, this is what Charon would be seen as, if he took on with Dr. Barrows reverse-ghoulification process."

Erica stares at me, scared, lost, wide-eyed and a bit curious. She stands up, absorbing all I've told her, and not really wanting to believe it. I don't care if she does or not, I never invested important emotions in her. How can I, when I knew this would be the reaction I'd get when I told her the truth? A person, cannot love someone, when they know they can't handle the truth about themselves.

"…You mean…Charon and you…"

"Are like twins, Erica. My father…my father and I are exactly alike. If he does something, and say they somehow traced a strand of hair, it would match mine perfectly. I'm not half his, or half my mother. I'm one-hundred percent, him."

I stare at her, and she stares back. Her light blue eyes are nothing, compared to the ice-blue ones Dizzy and I share together. Inside of me, something hurts at this. Something hurts, at the sight of Erica's face, at the look she gives me. I guess, that even though you tried not to invest anything important into someone, you still do. And in the end, you still get hurt.

"You think I'm a freak, don't you."

I turn away from Erica, because I can't bear to look her in the eye anymore. Quietly, I hear her stand up. Her footsteps echo loudly in the empty house, and they grow closer and closer to the door. Finally, I hear it open, and quietly close behind her. The one person, I had come to trust, someone I had known from my childhood…sees me as an abomination. She looks at me in disgust, in insult. As if I asked to be created. If I somehow manifested myself into a plasmatic form and begged them to probe me, build me, create me for their own selfish desires.

My father kept nothing from me. He told me, why he suspected I was made. I've seen him in fights with Raiders, and other outsiders. Seen him protect my mother, and an unborn Dizzy from an attack on Megaton. It's no wonder to me, why I was created. I was meant to be everything he was, except…better. I was made, so that I could at least accurately follow in his footsteps. In my creation, they expected no differences between us. Maybe, had they succeeded, they would have been right. But they didn't. They didn't keep me, and now…I'm nothing like my father. I look like him, and have his traits, but inside…inside I'm my own human. They created me without any regard for that. Or any regard, as to the toll it may take on me.

How can I ever, get close to anyone, if this is how I expect them to react? To leave me here, alone, in a place where my job is to look after a sibling who…who isn't even my sibling. Erica was the closest thing to me. Outside of my family, I had no one to talk to. I have friends, but, men act different around women, than they do other men. Erica was comforting, kind, my first experience in relations, but, not the only. Still, she meant something to me. I wonder, if I meant anything to her, if it was this easy for her to leave me like this? If, she ever really cared at all?