Thank you for the reviews they make my day :) … Here is the second chapter to it.

I am going to use a different name just out of respect for Jeff and Matt's mother, it will just be random, but Gil as everyone knows him The Legend lol … So here it is :)

Flashback

"I'm out"

"No your not"

"Yeah I am I have that small gig to play"

"Yeah Jeff I know that, but you are to young you are getting to far into your fun and music than an actual job, now can you just stay into watch a few films with Matt see how things go?"

"Mom! Come on it's one gig! … A few hours and I'll be homes in bed then I get up and out at school the next day"

"Jeffrey Nero Hardy do as your mother said"

"I will right after this gig"

"Look we are going out for a meal okay? … You are to stay in and do some work for once"

"I'm out!"

"Jeffy!"

Jeff ran out the door and didn't stop despite his parent's disagreement.

"Matty, we are going to go son, you okay?"

"Yeah mom I'm cool, may give Amy a call"

"Okay son, love you bye"

"Bye son"

"Bye Mom, bye Dad!"

……………… Later in the night

"Oh My God … Jeffy please pick up the phone … Please Son pick up the phone"

With Lilly on the chair Gil's arms wrapped round her shaking frame, not steadying her much as he was shaking just as much, both bodies racking with tears. Family all over the house, ambulance, police … Everyone gone … Everyone.

Hours later

Jeff came bouncing in, looking at all the cars on the edge of the curb and near his house. He walked in through the door to have so many pairs of eyes on him, eyes all red.

"Where's Matt?"

Lilly broke down in tears, not been able to speak to her youngest son as of lack of air. She ran over to him and hugged him. Gil pulled his mother off his son and held him too.

"Where is he?

"He's gone Jeffy"

"What?"

"Jeffy … We lost him"

Jeff stood there looking at his dad hearing crying in the back ground off his mother and others, he stood there looking like he was trying to work out a maths problems.

"No"

"Jeffrey please, just listen to me … You don't know everything about it yet an…"

He ran up the stair and ran into his room; he looked around then ran out of his door and into the one on the left pushing it open. His breath caught in his throat and tears pricked up in the corners of his eyes. The room was trashed. He fell to his knees and started to run through paper, flipping each bit over and over.

"Jeffy, no don't! … Please just come down stairs and talk … Please"

"No, he left something … He must have a note … or something … or just … AHHH!"

His screaming continued and it echoed through the room and down the hall. Gil running down the stairs, he came bounding back up and grabbed Jeff up by his arms hugging him tight.

"Kid … Jeffrey … Listen to me he left you a note, he left you something"

Jeff then grabbed the items. He glared at his parents.

"Get out … GO!"

When they left him he then put the note down by his legs as he crashed to the floor. He took the other item into his hands and squeezed it tight just like he was his eyes,

"I''m not going to cry"

He took the necklace out of his grasp and looked it over; the metal cross which always hung around his neck was placed into his hands. The intricate design that always adorned his neck was now in his hands, and then moved to round his neck as he laced it on and clasped it round his own throat.

He pulled the note from the floor and flipped it open. Tears blurred his vision and one single tear dripped from his eye and cascaded down to the paper. He flipped it back and covered it with both hands before reading it. He picked his weight up from the floor of is brother bedroom and turned off the light, not before looking back and stepping back in. He then turned back on the light and gathered all the paper up and placed in on his desk.

"Why? … How could you do this? … I need you here Matt, you're my big brother! … Why did you have to go?"

He cried his last few tears and then turned off the light.

"Bye Matt … See you soon"

He closed the door behind him and took a deep breath of air. He walked over to his bedroom and landed on his bed. Covering himself with the hoodie on the floor next to his bed … It was Matt's.

He clenched his eyes shut and waited for the horrible dream to be over with.

"Why Matty? … Why wasn't I here? … Why did you leave me?"

Questions rolled through his mind all night until sleep over took his body and he finally woke up to the sounds of people downstairs and someone that somewhat closer.

"Jeff!"

"Jeff!"

"JEFF!! WAKE UP!"

"What?"

"Wake up Kido time for school"

"Am up"

"Thank-you Jeffy"

"No problem Mom"

With that she walked over to my door and left me in silence. Damn that fucking dream. It always happens; I replay what happens all the damn time.

"I can't deal with this shit anymore"

"What was that Jeff?" My dad comes in asking.

"Can't I have some privacy please?" I snap at him.

"Sorry Kid" He goes to walk away.

"Dad no wait am sorry, I'm just stressed it been my first day back and all, you know?"

"Yeah Kid, I'm not expecting it to be easy on you … But hey come on you get to go back to music again … excited about that?"

"…. Erm … yeah … a little bit yeah."

"Awsome, well you mom will drop you off and I have to go early but if you need me ring me okay?"

"Yeah Dad no problem."

"I'll see you tonight"

"Bye" … Music .. is he insane .. I hate it … Well now I do. Anyways I have to get ready for today.

I run down the stairs because I know I can not prolong the day any longer so I slip into the kitchen without having to endure another breakfast.

"You ready?"

"Yeah, just need to get my Ipod and board"

"Okay sweetie"

The drive there was nerve racking to say the least. I don't know I think this was as difficult to my mom as it was to me. Matt and I always went to school together … Never hung around each other but we always drove together. The drive is a good 15 minutes and every so often a question is asked or a comment is passed but nothing good. We just keep thinking how weird this is … I've never been drove by mom to school. We pull up at the front, a few people look because they know it's me … Great!

Not to many people care, everyone knows it's been over a month nearly two now, but still only a few friends have came to see me, Shannon especially. No matter how hard I try to push him and the others away they don't really care what I want and stay anyways … I guess I'm lucky with that. My mom stops the car and takes my hand in hers.

"I love you so much Jeffrey"

"I love you too mom"

"This is so difficult Hun I know it is but it will be okay, you have got to keep strong"

"I'll try"

"Good, I'll see you tonight hun … Unless you are going out with your friends?"

"I doubt it, not really feeling up to it"

"You should Jeff, You never use to be in the house" She laughs trying to make a small joke.

"Things change I guess" I look at her with a sad look on my face … I really don't want to do this.

"I don't think I can do this mom"

"Go on Kid, I know you can … Seriously … Bye hun"

I step out the car, pull up my hood and shout my goodbye. Then I take the walk. I walk up the path which leads to the main entrance, already a lot of pairs of eyes are on me, so god help what it's going to be like inside. My phone chimes out Three Days Grace's Riot which says I have a text.

"Dude, if u r in 2day cum up 2 the music hall, we r chillin 2 cold outside nd we r killen sum awsum songs lol – shan x" I read out loud and then laugh to myself.

Shannon, no matter what never forgets the X at the end with me. I walk up to the music hall in question and I keep my head low knowing everyone is staring straight at me. I slip into the room and I'm greeted the way I need to be.

"Dude! Nice to see you again"

"Nice to see you to Shan"

"How you doing without everything of the past events in question?"

This is why I love Shannon, no joke, no seriousness … Just we love each other.

"Have you ever wanted to scream at people who stare straight at you "YES MY BROTHER KILLED HIMSELF NOW STOP STARING"

"Mmmm I can't say it's on my list of things to do"

"Good let's keep it that way."

"So … How's everything?" Serious Shannon comes alive.

"Okay, could be better, but just gotta get back into the swing of thins I guess"

"I'm here if you need me, as you already know"

"Yeah Shan no problem … Hey I thought there was more than you here?"

"Yeah, Adam and Jay have gone for food and Trish and Maria or running late… Speaking of the devils"

All four walk in and run to hug me. I have kind of shut them out the past month or two.

We talk more and catch up until it's time for first class. For me and Shannon it's totally cool we are in all the same classes, so we walk up and the morning consists of English, maths and Art. Lunch …. Then the dreaded music. It's not so dreaded … I love it … But I don't want to play. I can't not anymore … I just can't bring myself to play. I can't.

"You coming Jeff?"

"No"

"Jeff come on … I know you still love it."

"I'm not coming in"

"We have a new guy coming in, he is meant to really kick ass."

"No thanks"

"I know you still love it."

"Well your wrong Shannon"

"Bullshit"

"I don't want to argue Shan"

"We ain't arguing we are discussing it" He said with a smile that can make anyone laugh.

"Just say I had to go home."

"Jeff!"

"Please Shan, I will beg if I have to just please, I can't face music, not this time"

"You haven't picked up a guitar in so long"

"I know and with good reason"

"You have to stop thinking like that Jeff"

"I can't"

"It will take some emotion out of you. I know all you do is bottle it up"

"I'm fine"

"No your not"

"Shannon!?"

"Okay I'll stop … For today and tell him, but you will literally have to face the music some time or another"

"I'll try tomorrow"

"Fine, See you later" He started to walk away "Oh by the way are you coming out tonight?"

"For what?"

"Boarding, Chillage, Music … What ever … You up for it?"

"I'll see"

"Okay I'll see you after class Kid"

"By Shannon"

Even he calls me kid. Everyone does, Matt came up with it.

Matt … Fuck I keep thinking about him while walking from the music rooms. I'm in a world of my own and bump into something.

I fall back slightly only to be caught by a slightly taller and more built guy.

"Sorry, in a world of my own"

"No problem Kid, You in music?"

"Erm … No I don't do it" Okay a lie … But I don't care I don't know the guy.

"Ahh Okay, you look like the type" He laughed. Then pointed at me, waiting for me to say my name and fill in the blank for him.

"Jeff … And you?"

"Ash"

"Cool, well see you round dude"

"Bye"

Odd to say the least, I look like the type for music, no matter how true that can actual be … It's odd, plus he called me Kid, do I fucking wear that as a name badge?

I now have two hours to kill … I would normally just have a huge break right about now with Matt.

Fuck! … I have got to stop thinking about that shit. Think of something else. What I'm doing tonight? … Erm I could go out, or watch Uncle Mark on the TV … Or go out and forget the whole thing has ever happened.

Drink until it goes, has been working well so far.

I'll just wait it out.

Yeah that seems like a good plan. I just can't let the parents know. The have already lost one. I can't put them through that again.

Thank You soooo much READ AND REVIEW and we shall see how this goes, tell me wha you think :) xoxox