Hurt

Pre-note: I will not explain the first chapter. It will come full circle eventually.

A/N: Hey, guys, so it's been several years since I've written anything XD But I've decided to try my hand at it again! We'll see how this goes. I know my writing is a little stiff but hopefully it'll loosen up as we go. I don't intend for this to be the shortest story, so I'm sorry if it drags on a little. There's so much of Eridan's character I think is under appreciated and under explored so I may ramble a little ^_^; Please bare with me in all of this. I know the title sounds really cliche but I'm hoping with my chapter titles someone at least catches on to the reference.

I owe a lot of inspiration to Bard of Heart and her wonderful stories. Especially "Of Honey and Clementines" which is amazing and you should all read.

This story is meant to take place before the 4chords AU. But please note this is in no way cannon! 4chords belongs to Emi and Homestuck belongs to Hussie, this is just my personal take on the characters and history. Please don't dig too deeply into it! I am not affiliated in any way with Emi or 4chords or Hussie (obviously), I'm just writing fanfiction of fanfiction :P I hope no one is offended!

This story will eventually focus on the love triangle between Sollux, Feferi, and Eridan, I promise. For updates check here or not0today(dot)tumblr(dot)com

Genre: Romance, drama, angst, humanstuck, 4chords AU

Rating: Explicit for language and future chapters (there will be a lot of sexual content but it's not the base of the story).

Pairings: Mostly the love triangle of Feferi, Sollux, and Eridan but there will be others intermixed to suit the story as they happen. Little something for everyone (yaoi, yuri, and het).

So please enjoy..especially if you're here because I bribed you with cake.

Chapter 2: Empire of Dirt

Pat, pat, pat.

The sound of footsteps echoed softly as they shuffled down the expansive hallway. The manor situated on the Ampora family's estate could hardly be called a home. The level of luxury in every antiquated gold detail, marble tile, and hanging tapestry more closely resembled a museum than a family residence. It was a shining testament to the vast wealth of the Ampora family. Yet, for Eridan Ampora, this was the only life he knew. Eridan grew up among the finer things in life. He knew from an early age the role he was destined to play. He was given a five-star education from the day he entered pre-school all under the pretense he would fulfill his place in the Ampora company upon his father's retirement. Once old enough, he would attend a prestigious university, come home to marry his childhood fiance and work for his father. His inheritance was a destiny he must fulfill. But, he was now nineteen, grown enough to make his own decisions. Eridan had no desire to follow his father.

Eridan was raised in an environment without friends, without colleagues, without anything more than a sense of self importance and entitlement by the Ampora name. He met Feferi Peixes when he was five-years-old, but had no real memory of her until his fourteenth birthday. Feferi was betrothed to Eridan from the day she was born. A smart match, both sets of parents thought. A prestigious marriage to link the rival companies and give both a slight edge on the market. Eridan had always liked Feferi well enough, but as he grew older he found her blind optimism over-bearing. Still, it was infectious, and before Eridan realized it his pre-destined path in life had been uprooted. Feferi inspired a love of art in Eridan translating into a unique connection with photography. Soon it became his passion and he desired little else. His camera was a constant companion; it replaced any need for friends. It was his tiny link to freedom.

The long hallway was as wide as a street and devoid of color. As Eridan made his way along it he noted how well the emptiness mirrored his own life. Feferi had been his one spark of color in an otherwise staunch existence. He had reached the age where he was ready to venture off and fulfill his own life as a man. His choice of path, however, did not sit well with his father. He called him into his office in a final attempt to persuade him against what he perceived as a "penniless future".

While Eridan had no genuine fear of his father, he knew the outcome of this conversation all-too well. If he didn't succumb to his father's wishes he would be disowned. The privileged life he'd known would be stripped away, and he wasn't sure how he would live beyond it..he was an Ampora. But the thought of Feferi leaped across his mind and gave him a glimmer of hope. She was the courage he needed. Better or worse she'd be there with him, holding his hand—if only in his mind. He would stand up for what he wanted. He would stand up beside her.

He saw his mother standing in front of two towering mahogany doors, her expression silently pleading with him. He had already had this conversation with her; she knew what would come of it as much as Eridan did. Facing fate, he pushed a door open, not bothering to announce his presence. He'd take whatever small victory he could.

As Eridan pushed open the heavy door the aroma of pipe tobacco and ash quickly permeated into the hall. An handsome, older man with greying black hair sat behind an exquisitely crafted wooden desk on the opposite end of the room. His face looked solemn, the frown emphasizing the lines of age. He puffed steadily on a pipe.

"Father."

"Eridan."

Silence.

More silence.

The tension was thick, and the awkward pause drew on before Eridan cleared his throat, "you called for me?" A subtle Scottish drawl creeping through his voice. It was much less recognizable than in his father.

"Yes. Sit, Eridan."

Eridan obliged his father's wishes, there would be enough feather ruffling soon. He slid uncomfortably into a chair in front of the large, ornate desk. His father looked tall and threatening across from where he sat. Even with the gigantic barricade between them, Eridan felt uneasy in his presence.

"Eridan..university starts in one month-"

"You mean, Aldridge University will be startin' in one month."

"Son, there is no finer a school money can buy. Your grandfather attended, I attended, an' you will attend in one month's time. Your education is necessary to the continuance of the Ampora family an' company. You will fulfill your duty as my heir."

"No..No, I wwill not. Your money wwill not buy off my adulthood like it bought off my childhood! Evvery step of my life has been carefully dictated so I can play pawwn to your ambitions!" Under stress Eridan's stutter rang through. He tried as hard as he could to keep it at bay, but it was difficult. No matter how many speech coaches his father employed, the impediment always found the worst times to surface. His hands clenched into fists. So badly he wished Feferi's hand was in his, that she was with him now.

"You will be attending Aldridge. Your purpose in life is to fulfill the Ampora name. Do it some justice. Show some respect for your family. Be a man, Eridan." His voice rang deep and calm in the large room. His sense of empowerment and confidence irritated Eridan that much more.

"A man? A man! No. You wwant me to be a boy! I'm not a child! I wwant to make my owwn decisions an' choose my OWWN life!"

Eridan's chest heaved with his rising anger, his breath growing irregular. His panting was loud enough to attract the attention of the woman outside the door. But Eridan didn't dare reach for his inhaler, he was not about to show any sign of weakness. His father fell silent, watching his son closely through narrowed eyes.

"Hm. So this is how a dynasty falls. You may leave."

Eridan hated now of all times to bend to his request, but the thought of staying here was insufferable. He stormed out of the office refusing to look at his mother as he lumbered down the large hall. He tugged at his pocket and hastily pulled out his inhaler, drawing it up to his mouth and breathing in deeply as he sprinted down the hall.

After nineteen years in this mansion, Eridan knew every twist and turn. He expertly navigated through the corridors and up the staircase to his own bedroom suite. He flung open the gold embossed door and slammed it behind him. He didn't care about the damage, he wanted to make sure his father heard him.

He staggered to his bed, dizziness and anger washing over him. He sat down on the edge, resting his head in his hands. Stupid..he was so stupid to think things were going to change, thinking he'd be given a choice. His father was relentless and as stubborn as Eridan himself, neither was about to back down. He played with the inhaler in his hand, twisting it around his fingers..he hated it. He hated being tied down to anything. His father tethered him to his destined future, the inhaler bound him to medical dependence, Feferi tied him to...to the only thing in his life he enjoyed. Eridan placed the device beside him on the bed and reached into his pocket for his phone.

Talk wwith dualscar didnt go wwell

Eridan hated his stutter almost as much as he hated his asthma, but Feferi always told him it was an endearing trait. He never hid it from her, even in his text messages.

He wasn't expecting a fast response, but his heart sank a little as the seconds creeped by in silence. He laid on his back and cocked his head to the side. There was a small purple beta fish in a cylindrical bowl on his nightstand. The fish swam around the small bowl, its scales glittering in the light. He had no real fondness of animals, never being allowed a pet growing up, but on his fourteenth birthday Feferi pushed a water filled bag into his hands.

"Wwhat on earth IS it?"

"It's a fish, silly! I bought him for your birthday!"

"Wwhat do I need with a fish, Fef?" He stared down at the little bagged creature happily flitting about it's cramped home.

"Well, Mr. Grumpy Gills," Feferi had a habit of making fish puns whenever she could. She had loved aquatic life since Eridan first met her. Fish puns were something they shared..even though Eridan thought it was rather childish now. It was an endearing sign of the bond between them. "He's a beta fish. They're super grumpy! I thought you two would be great together! You'll be the best of friends."

Eridan didn't share her enthusiasm and gave her a strange look, then considered the fish with a scowl. "Fef, I don't even knoww wwhat this thing eats. Or..howw it goes to the bathroom..." His face scrunched up at the thought.

"Hmm..well..he eats fish food! And..you just have to change his water every other day to keep it clean. It's not that difficult, Eri, really."

Eridan looked at the little purple creature again, a little disgust in his face. "Hm. Looks gross."

This wasn't the same fish, of course, but as soon as one died Eridan would always replace it with an identical one. He never mentioned the deaths to Feferi for fear of upsetting her. He had to replace that damn fish so many times the first month..he really wasn't cut out to take care of anything but, for Feferi's sake, he tried.

He watched the fish as it bobbed around peering outside the glass at nothing in particular. He wondered what the fish thought about..did it ever wish it wasn't confined to its tiny watery prison? That was rather stupid, wasn't it? It's a fish, it doesn't care. But still, Eridan felt a pang of sympathy. One day, he would give the little guy a bigger home. One day...

Eridan drifted off, the stress melting from his bones as he relaxed. He watched the fish dance and fell away into the refuge of his dreams. It was a small escape, but the only one he had.

BUZZ. BUZZ.

Eridan jolted back into consciousness to the vibration of his phone. Sitting up he reached for it, running a finger over the screen to wake it up. One new message.

:( Glub glub

Feferi. Always trying to make the best of a situation. She always wanted him to smile. Eridan contemplated his response for a while, staring at the screen in his palm.

i dun know what to do fef im so fuckin tired of this game i want it to be done wwith it for good

It's not all so bad, Mr. Grumpy Gills. Cheer up.

fef im serious im gonna loose it

:( Glub do you want to meet up? We can go take pictures at the aquarium 38D

ugh fef do you think of nothing else?..

fine well go

Eridan let out a deep sigh. It's not that he was particularly opposed to the idea of visiting an aquarium, but Feferi could be so predictable at times. Still, it was an opportunity to take pictures of his favorite subject—her. He smiled weakly to himself.

'I love you, Fef,' he thought. He could never bring it words when with her, but he thought it to himself all the time. She was all that was good in the world. All that was right in his eyes. He stood up and grabbed his caplet off a chair. It wasn't likely to be too cold outside and a cape may be old fashioned but Eridan found it made him feel important. More than that, it was another gift from Feferi. He drew it around his shoulders and headed out the door.