The four white sails of Jonathon Creek's home rotated gently in the late morning sun. Greying roots of a curly head of hair was the only thing to be seen in the house until the phone rang. The double duvet ruffled slightly as an arm protruded from it and withdrew again clutching a mobile. "Jonathan Creek." The man said in a muffled early morning croak. "What?" Jonathan wasn't sure what he thought he'd heard but when the voice repeated he realised he had. "I'm sorry; I don't do grizzly murders before my first cup of tea of the day." He explained in his tired voice.
"First cup of-Jonathan! You know it's half eleven don't you? Get your lazy arse out of bed." Joey's broad northern accent resonated down the phone line. "I'm twenty minutes away, if you want that tea you better make it."
Jonathan stumbled out of bed squinting in the warm sunlight. He wasn't quite sure how he'd managed to sleep in so late, however he'd been up pretty late with his magician partner Adam Klaus planning their next big trick. He pulled on a T-shirt and headed down the wooden stairs, absent minded thoughts still clashing with a sleep filled mind. Jonathan pushed his teabag round his mug distracted as he tried to reconstruct the conversation he had only minutes earlier. There was something about it that piqued his interest, but it certainly wasn't the sheer grotesqueness of what he had heard.
Jonathan remained at the table in his underwear clutching his tea when Joey let herself in after an over-eager knock on the windmill door. She flew up the stairs grinning, dropping her smile slightly at the sight of the tired illusionist in his pants. "You seem far too excited! Someone has died you know!" Jonathan began with a half-hearted attempt at the high ground which was severely wounded due to the lack of trousers. Barely acknowledging defeat, he nodded towards the kettle in the corner before finishing his tea. "And I'll have another, thanks."
"So let me get this straight..." Jonathan started, cradling his new tea. "...This lady-"
"Olivia Bowen." Joey Interjected.
"Yes, Olivia Bowen. "Jonathan flicked an annoyed glance her way. "She locked herself in the bathroom, got in the shower and drew the curtain. Now she doesn't hear anything and neither does the guy stood outside, but when she opens the curtains again there's a body there."
"Except you could barely describe it as a body." They locked eyes for a split second before Joey broke to take a sip of tea. Jonathan could see the excitement in her eyes, but more worryingly something else, more like terror. He knew the kind of things she got a kick out of. "What do you mean?" Jonathan said slowly, watching his friends movements.
"I mean it was less of a body, more like..." She paused. "..A pile of limbs." Jonathan fought off a shudder. "From what she told me two arms, two legs. All in separate bits, that's what she told me anyway."
"How-Who'dya mean she?"
"Ms Bowen."
"You're bothering her already? Hasn't she had a bad enough morning?"
"She rang me."
"Why did she ring you?"
"She thought I was you."
"What!?"Joey looked slightly sheepish under Jonathan's gaze.
"I've been advertising your services on my, um, website."
"For God's sake!" Jonathan sighed. "You know I could sue you for that!"
"Don't be such a baby!" Joey shook her head and downed the rest of her tea before heading down the stairs. "Come on Jonathan!" Jonathan followed her; exasperated, searching for some kind of comeback. He still didn't have one by the bottom of the stairs, where his seemed coat hit him in the face. Joey flung the door open form where she had thrown Jonathan his coat and made a dash for her car. Simultaneously pulling his duffel coat on one sleeve after the other whilst jamming his feel in his trainers he hopped after her, rummaging in his coat pocket for his keys. Closing his front door behind him, Jonathan froze. There was a breeze around his mid drift. "Gimme two minutes!"