WARNING: This chapter contains material that may act as a trigger to individuals who suffer from depression or who have engaged in self harm.

Chapter 2 – Astrid's House

Hiccup ignored the nerves pooling in his stomach as he walked to his car. He was going to Astrid's house, he couldn't help the excitement. You'd be excited too, if you were going to your crush's house.

Once in his car he looked around for Astrid's, he had said to look for a black Ford Focus. Quickly scanning the school's parking lot, he found nothing. Hiccup was beginning to grow nervous, despite the fact that Astrid had said that he wouldn't ditch him. What if he lied, Hiccup though, What if he already left? He tried to calm himself, but he was beginning to panic.

When a knock sounded against his car window, Hiccup turned, startled by the sound. It was Astrid; he breathed a sigh of relief, he hadn't been ditched. He rolled down the window.

"You ready?" Astrid asked.

Hiccup nodded.

"Okay, my car's over there," He pointed, how had Hiccup missed it? It was only a few spaces down from his, "Just follow me when I leave, I'll check to make sure you followed."

Again, Hiccup nodded. He watched as Astrid walked away.

Starting his car, he pulled out of the parking lot, following the black car. True to his word, he saw Astrid look in the rear-view mirror, Hiccup tried a smile, it felt and probably looked more like a grimace. Astrid smiled back, or at least it looked le he did.

Astrid led Hiccup to a simple, ordinary looking house. It two stories and mostly white, there were a couple of small trees and a small garden in the front yard. It looked like something out of a postcard, a stereotypical American house. Hiccup guess that Astrid probably lived the stereotypical life as well, with a stay at home mother, a father with a steady, well paying job, and a younger sibling.

"Here it is," Astrid said as they got out of their cars, "Nothing special, but its home."

"I like it," Hiccup said, "Where are your parents?"

A dark look crossed Astrid's face, "My mom's at work and my dad is in prison."

That squashed Hiccup's theory, "Any siblings?"

"None," Astrid replied, seemingly grateful that Hiccup didn't press about his father, "Come on, we can work on the project in my room."

Hiccup followed Astrid into the house, up the stairs and into his bedroom.

Astrid's room was pretty much just as you'd expect any teenage boy's room to be. There were clothes littering the floor and the bed, sports equipment was strewn about, and a porn magazine lay open on the bed. If Hiccup needed any more proof that Astrid was straight, then there it was.

Blushing brightly, Astrid grabbed the magazine, practically throwing it under the bed, "Sorry, you had to see that! I forgot I left it there!"

"It's fine," Hiccup said, being sure to keep his face devoid of any emotion.

Astrid nodded, face still red, "Well, why don't we sit on the floor and get started?"

He noticed how Astrid didn't say on the bed, but nodded anyway. He ignored the protest his legs made as he sat, he wasn't about to acknowledge the pain in front of Astrid. The other boy grabbed his laptop from the desk before joining him on the floor.

"So," Astrid began, "Should we just start by listing what we now about Sif?"

"She's the goddess of harvest," Hiccup said.

Astrid nodded, "Anything else?"

"And she's Thor's wife," Hiccup added.

"You have to now more than that!" Astrid exclaimed.

"That's it," Hiccup said

"That's all you now?" Astrid questioned.

"Pretty much," Hiccup deadpanned.

"Really? I thought you were really smart or something! I mean, you're always sitting at your desk all quiet and writing, like you're taking notes or something," Astrid accused, turning to face Hiccup.

"Well I'm not," Hiccup snapped, before standing, "I hardly pay attention in any class, let alone mythology. And for your information, I'm not taking notes. I'm ether dong late homework or making random stupid doodles."

Astrid looked taken aback; there was no denying that he hadn't expected such a reaction from Hiccup.

"You know what?" Hiccup continued, "I think we should do some research separately. I'll give you some notes tomorrow in class."

Astrid watched, speechless, as the auburn haired boy turned and practically stormed from the room.

Hiccup slammed the door to his car and violently shoved the key into the ignition. His legs ached as he peeled away from the house. He was positive that some of the scabs had opened; he could feel the blood dripping down them.

How could someone be so insensitive, He wondered, Maybe it's because he's a blonde. He chuckled humorlessly as he drove home as fast as he legally could.

But Astrid was right, Hiccup should be smart, he should have good grades, and he should have lots of friends. But Hiccup wasn't smart, he didn't get good grades, and he had no friends at all. He was a mistake, a screw-up, maybe if he had been different, his mother would still be here, and maybe his father would talk to him.

When he reached his house, Hiccup nearly ran inside and up to his bathroom. Once there, he tore off his pants, revealing dozens of long, thin scars going horizontally across his thighs. Reaching into the top drawer, he took out his razor. Holding the small, sharp object up to the light, Hiccup sucked in a breath. He grimaced as the razor slid across his skin. Astrid's words echoed in his head, I thought you were really smart. The other boy was right, he was stupid, and there wasn't much that could be done about it.

Hiccup made another cut, just below the first one and watched the blood ooze from the two cuts. Maybe his father was right, maybe his mother did leave because of him. Maybe she could tell that he would be like this and didn't want to be a part of it. His father wouldn't even tell him her name; he didn't now what she looked like, or what she used to do for a living. The only thing Hiccup could be certain of was that she had green eyes, his father had blue.

A third cut joined the other two, this one deeper than the others. Then there was Astrid, the boy was attractive, unrightfully so. He also had the perfect life; he had friends, good grades, he played sports, and he had practically everything he could ever want. The only black mark on him was the fact that his father was in prison. And what did Hiccup have? He had the basic necessities for survival, but that was about it. No friends. Bad grades. The whole nine yards.

After seven more cuts, Hiccup was beginning to get light headed from the blood loss. So he bandaged them, cleaned up the mess, pulled his pants back on, and got to work on the notes on Sif. He was positive that Astrid's notes would be better; after all, he was the smarter one.

Hours later, the fact sheet was complete. It was longer than Hiccup had expected it to be, about a page, he had only planned on half of page.

Grimacing, Hiccup stood. With shaky legs, he walked towards the bed, shedding his pants along the way. Once there, he collapsed into the bed, pulling the blanket up around him, he fell into a sleep filled with dreams, most of them not good.

Astrid wrapped his arms tightly around Hiccup as they laid, tangled up in each other, "You now know I love you, right?"

Hiccup nodded, his face pressed into Astrid's neck, "Of course I do."

"And you know that I'd never intentionally do something to hurt you," Astrid continued.

Again, Hiccup nodded.

Astrid seemed satisfied with the answer. He shifted slightly, adjusting his hold on Hiccup, before closing his eyes to sleep.

The dream shifted.

Hiccup was standing in front of Astrid, the other boy looked furious.

"Do you really think I'm that stupid?" Astrid hissed.

"No," Hiccup whispered, wrapping his arms around himself. He wouldn't admit it, but he was scared.

"Oh yeah? Then why do you seem to think that the whole 'I'm innocent' act will fool me?" Astrid demanded, nearly shouting.

Hiccup flinched, "I didn't do anything. Why are you so angry?"

"Why am I angry? WHY AM I ANGRY?!" Astrid was shouting now, "I come home to find you digging through my stuff and you have the audacity to asked me why I'm angry!"

Astrid raised his fist.

The dream shifted once more.

Hiccup had never met his mother, but the woman standing in front of him was definitely her. She the same green eyes as him and she had the same auburn hair, but hers was streaked with gray.

"I didn't want such a failure for a son," she began, "That's why I left. I could see it in the way you acted, they why you talked. You were different, and not a good different. I didn't want to be seen as the mother of a freak, so I left."

This woman wasn't real, Hiccup told himself, she wasn't his mother. She was a monster created by his mind. He knew this, yet he still believed every word she said. She was right, he was a failure, and he was different. Astrid would never want him, he was a broken toy, one that couldn't be fixed. He deserved to be thrown away, into the garbage.

Hiccup woke in a cold sweat, tears in his eyes. Turning, he looked at the clock on the bed side table.

12:34.

He rolled over, and went back to sleep, the dreams still fresh in his mind.

I thought that I would take the time to address a couple of things that I didn't include in the first chapter.

First, Hiccup has not lost his leg yet. The plan is that that will happen whenever Toothless is introduced to the story, and I don't yet know when that will take place.

Secondly, don't worry about Toothless. I haven't forgotten about him, he will play a major role in how Hiccup with lose his leg. Also concerning Toothless is the fact that I'm not 100% sure what I want him to be. So, feel free to leave your suggestions in your reviews.

Thirdly, any chapter that contains sensitive material, such as Hiccup cutting, will be tagged at the start. If this warning is not there, then you can assume that that particular chapter does not contain this sensitive material.

Fourth, the rating of this story has been adjusted from T to M due to the inclusion of such material.