Fuck you, Care bears.

Fuck.

You.

I made a decision today. I bet you can guess what it was. That I hate care bears. Wanna know why I hate carebears? Because these carebears that I thought we may've been- We're not!

I still think I'm a superhero.

Because I'm awesome.

But this guy…This guy…This…This…Monsieur Eyepatch-o…He sucks! He couldn't be a care bear if he wanted to! And if he is, then he's the worst one I've ever seen- Even if they are supposed to be evil.

No.

But…You're probably confused, so I'll tell you about what happened that made me think so much of this stupid Mr. Mc'Oldy-Pants.

Yeah, I said it. What now?

Anyway..

First off, we had to walk to that limey castle I was telling you folk inside my head about. At first, I was like, 'Hey, cool! I love castles! Castles are where awesome people are, and I am definitely awesome, therefore, I deserve my own castle!' But no. It was the worst castle I've ever- Oh my god, those stupid sonuva… Those models?

Yeah. They pick on me. Urgh!

Curse them and their stupid boneless…white…Stupid faces! Hah!

I win.

Anyway.

It was the worst castle ever. I don't know why, but there would be all these doors everywhere, the floors were huge, and the staircases were bigger! You would think they would have an elevator, or a floating mechanism…thingy or…Or…At least make it so that we could fly!

C'mon! I mean…

C'mon!

Anyway. So there was no flying allowed, unless you were, of course, Mr. Eyepatch. Who decided to float along beside me. Why? Because he could. "I hate you." I informed him simply as I trudged along and he…floated...along.

Bastard.

Anyway. When we finally got to the main room, I nearly keeled over. So many stairs! So many pointless steps! What, were they trying to insinuate I was fat or something? 'Cause I'll tell you guys something, I am not fat! I mean, obviously you know that. You're inside my head.

Oh, man. Totally suing Mr. Eyepatch from hell.

Bastard.

I'm cursing a lot, I noticed. Maybe I wouldn't so much, if he would just give me freaking answers already! But he didn't, and that made things frustrating! Agh! Anyway.

So I marched up, and then I was kindly poked by the bastard himself. "'Ey, little dude. We ain't there yet. Don't go conkin' out on me now. I don't wanna be the one that drags your sorry butt in, and you don't wanna be the one who passed out goin' up the stairs." He remarked lightly, touching down. Ah, so he could walk after all. Loser.

"Not…Not there?! How could we not be there?! I just went up, like…Like…A lot of stairs! That was a lot of stairs! A lot!"

"Oh, I know."

"What? No you do not! You floated! How can that mean you know!?" I was mad. Mad was I.

Deal with it, Loser-pants.

Topic train, meet us. We're hopping back on you.

Anywhoozle!

We bickered for a bit, before the stupid guy grabbed me, and dragged me towards this freaking ledge, that was like…A ledge!

Like, you fall off, you die! And I don't know if I die the same way, what with bein' a Nobody, or whatever, but…Seriously! No! Falling safely was never something I was good at, and you would think I would be, since I tend to do it a lot.

That, however, is not the point. Leave my clumsiness alone.

Anyway, so we were at this cliff, and oldie just keeps goin'! "Hey, man, just 'cause you can float and be all not…walking-y, that doesn't mean that I ca-"

What. The hell.

A thing had appeared under my feet. I don't really know what it was, but it was like…Not…falling. Which was good! I liked not falling!

Now, why they couldn't just put more stairs is totally beyond me. I mean, why the hell would you scare yourself every time you gotta walk on these? Each time, you don't really know where you're going, you just sorta gotta follow your instincts, and the curve of it, and…stuff. But I think that was why Mr. Eyepatch decided to walk with me. I probably woulda fallen off, and that…

I hate falling.

Shut up.

Anyway. Falling wasn't fun. I know this.

Stop distracting me!

So we're walking, and I'm trying not to trip on the guy's dress he let me borrow, which is a bit too big, since he's kinda taller then me, but not by a lot, and my feet begin to complain. Because they hurt! They really do! And it makes me sad, because I hate it when things hurt. Almost as much as I hate-

STOP DOING THAT, PEOPLE IN MY HEAD!

So. We're walking, and finally we get to the other side…And he begins floating! "Okay, little dude. Right up those stairs, and you'll be in the main lobby. I'm gonna pop ahead, so I can get your jacket and we'll trade. I'll also check t'make sure no crazy dudes're there that'll scare ya or anything." He winked, and then vanished. Sonuva bitch Houdini- Wait.

What.

No, really. People in my head, I chose you.

What did he just say?

Crazy dudes? What? No. Noooo, no. I hate crazy people! Man, I hate a lot of things, don't I? I just realized this. Ah, well. Too bad. Urgh!

I mean, what'm I s'posed to do now? The crystal not-falling thingies are gone from behind me, so I don't wanna take the chance. I'm in a castle I don't really know, and there're gonna be crazy people when I get up there? Crazies?!

Balgh! I hate this place! Sure, supermodels are all fine and dandy, and sure, I guess I don't mind the neon, and the…everything. But...But…! Weirdo castles? Weirdo people? Vanishing…stuff? And, and…Gaaah. What was I supposed to do? I mean, I couldn't turn back, obviously, like I said. I didn't want to jump off, 'cause falling sucks...Gah... I turned myself towards the stairs and started up them. Whatever.

But I swear, if a crazy person starts after me, trying to stab my eyes…

Fuck you, hobos, I can make a wall of water!

--

I updated! Sorry for the wait, folks! I'm just getting back in the swing of fanfiction, trying to get back in sync with this chapter. Hope I didn't disappoint you!