WARNING: I have decided to go with the violent storyline, but it happened in the past and there will be no detailed descriptions. I wanted to give Ethan another harrowing case to deal with. I really hope you'll all continue reading.
Tanith Panic, angry Cal is quite scary, but all his emotions and recent experiences are mixed up in that. It's still scary for Honey, though and she's probably terrified about Noel already. Thank you for your review - I'm glad you like it so far.
CBloom2, no, Ethan is not having an easy time of it and I'm afraid things won't be easy for him in this chapter either. Why do we torture him when he's so sweet and lovely? I'm so glad we all do it or I'd be worried about myself! Thank you for your review.
TVObsessedGirl28, thank you for your review. I like it when Cal stands up for Ethan too - usually he doesn't get the chance as Ethan either keeps things to himself or Cal is the one upsetting him! I'll try to update every day, but I can't promise.
Tato Potato, thank you for your review. I love Cal's protective side too. I hope you'll like how the story pans out - I am a bit worried!
ETWentHome, I'm glad I wasn't the only person who was surprised by the absence of Honey! Robyn wasn't originally going to be in that scene, but when I realised how angry Cal was, I thought someone had better step in! Thank you for your review.
Bonnie Sveen Fan, thank you for your review - I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter.
20BlueRoses, I think Cal's guilt definitely plays a part in Cal's anger, though the way Honey treated Ethan is also a big reason for it! I'm not sure how much there is to come, but I'd say at least three more chapters. Thank you for your review.
tracys dream, thank you for your review - I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.
Thank you to Gingersnaps2507, TVObsessedGirl28 and Lcasualty95 for the follows and favourites.
Ethan got himself a fair distance from the staff room and took his glasses off so he could wipe his eyes. He had to stop this. He had to cope. He had to serve his notice. Then he could get out of Holby and cry as much as he wanted for everything he'd lost.
"Ethan?" said a voice.
Without his glasses, he wouldn't have recognised her, but the voice was unmistakeable. "Honey?"
"Ethan, what's wrong?" said Honey anxiously. "Is it my dad?"
"No," said Ethan at once. He put his glasses on. "Your dad is fine. He's doing much better."
Honey stepped closer. "Why are you crying?"
Ethan wanted to ask what it had to do with her, but there was something about Honey that always made him want to tell the truth. She had a way of making you feel you were special; a way of making you think she was special: a person you could tell anything. The fact she'd broken his heat didn't stop him from wanting to confide in her. "I was trying to help a suicidal patient, but we were busy and I lost sight of him and he killed himself. It's fine. I just think about it sometimes."
Honey's eyes got bigger and wider. "Oh, Ethan," she said, hugging him. "It wasn't your fault. You did more than most people would."
But not enough…
"Thank you, Honey," said Ethan, pulling away and removing his glasses so he could wipe his eyes again. "Have you seen your dad yet?"
"No. I'm scared," said Honey, her voice wobbling. "Robyn was taking me there, but I said I'd be fine on my own and I… ran off."
"It's okay. It's natural to be scared," said Ethan. "But it will be okay."
Honey's eyes flooded with tears. "Like I don't know if he'll still look like him or if he'll have all these cuts and bruises and machines coming out of him…"
"There are a few machines," admitted Ethan. "And a few signs of injury. But he is still your dad. He still looks like him. I'm sure the reality is much less frightening than what you're imagining now. ."
Honey started sobbing. "Oh God: how could someone do that to him?"
"I… I don't know," said Ethan, feeling at a loss. He didn't know what he could possibly say to make her feel better. He was useless. He couldn't even do his job.
"He's such a nice guy," wept Honey. "I mean, he'd never hurt anyone."
"No, he wouldn't," agreed Ethan helplessly.
Honey put her arms around Ethan again, resting her head on his shoulder. "He wanted to come up and see me the other week. Get some treatments done in my shop. He's not even into all that stuff, but he wanted to do it because it was me. I... I didn't return his call."
"Sometimes… life… just gets busy," said Ethan. He stood tensely, making no move to hug her. "I'm sure you would have returned his call."
"No, I wouldn't have!" wailed Honey. "I couldn't. And now I might never see him again." She clung to Ethan and cried noisily.
Ethan awkwardly lifted one hand and patted her back. "No, Honey. That's not true. Of course you'll see him. I'll take you to see him now. It's going to take him a bit of time to recover, but we do expect him to recover – and he'll be so pleased to see you."
"Are you?" Honey mumbled into his shoulder.
"Am I what?"
"Pleased to see me?"
Ethan was rather horrified to realise he wasn't. "I'm very pleased you've come. Shall we go and see your dad now?"
Honey still didn't let go of him. "I never meant to hurt you, you know."
"I know," said Ethan. "It's not your fault you didn't feel the same way as – as you used to."
Honey gave another sob. "I should have stayed here. I never should have let you go."
"You had to," said Ethan. "I wasn't what you wanted and you had to follow your dream. And I… I hope it's going very well."
"It's not going at all," sniffled Honey.
Ethan tried to disentangle himself. "I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe you could go and talk to your dad about it. He'll want to help."
"I'd rather tell you," said Honey.
"Oh… um… okay," said Ethan unwillingly. "I mean, of course you can." He thought of taking her back to the staff room, but Cal might still be there. Of course, Cal was much better at this sort of thing than Ethan, but Cal had been so angry when he'd found out what Honey had done to Ethan. Ethan knew he couldn't let Cal near her.
So he would either have to deal with this himself or take her to Zoe or Lily and admit that this was something else he couldn't cope with.
Honey sniffed. "Didn't you used to have a relatives' room?"
"We can't go in there!" The words came out too violently and Honey looked at him in surprise.
"I'm a relative, aren't I?"
"Yes, of course, but… but we might be interrupted if we go in there," said Ethan. He didn't want to tell Honey he hadn't been in there since the day he'd left Chris in there.
Left him to die.
Ethan turned and walked away from Honey, looking for an unoccupied room but also blinking tears away. "Okay: we can go in here."
He held the door open for Honey, still fighting tears. Honey sat down and Ethan made sure he was back in control before sitting beside her.
"Would you like to tell me then?" he asked, after several seconds had passed in silence.
"I lost the money," said Honey.
Ethan was confused. "I'm sorry: what money?"
"My dad gave me some money to start up my beauty salon," said Honey. "So I bought some stuff with it. Massage beds. Tanning booths. Comfy sofas for the clients to sit on. That kind of thing."
"Those do sound like things you'd need," said Ethan, who'd never been inside a beauty salon, but he could imagine that massage and tanning were two services such a place might offer - and somewhere to sit was essential.
"But it weren't enough," said Honey. "I had to find somewhere to rent, but there weren't enough money left. So I started dancing in clubs again to raise the money."
Ethan wondered what to say. "I'm sure, if you went back to your dad…"
"Maybe then I could have done," said Honey. "He knew he hadn't given me quite enough. But I didn't want to go back to him and admit I'd failed."
"You hadn't failed, Honey," said Ethan. "You just… haven't succeeded yet. These things take time."
"Then I met a guy in the club," said Honey, her eyes misting over with tears. "I told him about my salon. I told him how much I had and how much more I needed. He said he was a big businessman and he was looking for a company to invest in. But not just any company. He wanted to help young people who were just starting out."
Ethan heard the warning bells ringing in his mind. "That sounds very.. providential."
"What's that mean?" said Honey.
"Like the answer to your prayers," said Ethan.
Honey nodded as her tears began to fall.
"But he wasn't, was he?" said Ethan.
Honey shook her head.
"What happened, Honey?" said Ethan softly.
"He wanted to see the money I'd got. He wanted to count it exactly. I had it in cash." Honey began to sob.
Ethan wasn't surprised by the anger he felt. He felt it all the time now. Most often towards himself.
Maybe this was his fault too. If he'd been a proper boyfriend, Honey wouldn't have wanted to move away. She could have stayed with him and they could have achieved Honey's dream together.
"Did he take your money?"
Honey nodded, still crying. "He took it all."
"I'm so sorry," said Ethan gently. He didn't tell her he knew how that felt. He doubted he and Honey would feel exactly the same way.
"But that wasn't all he took," whispered Honey.