"You don't have to leave Fenris," Hawke said gently, as she touched him. Her touch after so long of hard wanting, of waiting. Hawke's touch made his body shock into Lyrium ghost and he found himself slamming her into her lobby wall forcefully and lowly growling before his brain had time to digest what was going on. His body ached for her, four long and hard years of playful flirting, banter and full on desire had finally pushed him past his breaking point. His face dropped slightly as he noticed he had thrown her into a wall, and measuring her reaction carefully. Fenris expected her to hurt him, make him leave, he expected himself to apologise for being so rough, but she surprised him. She liked it. Her surprise had melted into sexual desire; she jumped forwards and kissed him. Fenris accepted the kiss willingly and returned it, feeling himself grasp her hips as he did so. Hawke too, was filled with want, with desire burning hot for him. Hawke turned him, and slammed him into the wall. Fenris traced the outline of her figure with his hands, roaming, touching and sating his urges. Hawke continued to taste his lips, and Fenris was electric, buzzing at each touch and flying with each kiss.
He let go. Fenris let his defences fall after so tirelessly keeping them checked. He was finally free, even just for a moment, he was no longer a slave but free as a hawk soaring through the skies, as the Hawke in front of him now feasted on him. For a single moment he succumbed to her, before again his body was ablaze. He once again took control. She immediately let him ravage her and moaned gently wanting him. He seized her hand and pulled her through her home, up her staircase and into her room slamming the door with enough force to make the brick mansion shudder slightly. He had not seen her bedchambers before this night, he did not care for the surroundings now either. He scanned the room to her bed and threw her on it; he discarded his sword, that cried as it hit the stone floor and leant over to her. He roughly kissed her as he traced her body with his fingers. Hawke raised her left hand and used it to explore his silver hair, smiling as he moaned gently at her touch just as their lips pressed together again in painful want. Hawke let her hand fall and then rise again, to the drawstring of her robe that was tied perfectly in a bow at her waist. Fenris watched the desire in her eyes as she tugged at the tied bow, which now fell and like a curtain, her robes fell to her sides.
Fenris bit her lip showing his dominance in desire in one. Hawke cupped his face and passionately kissed him after pulling from his bite. She pulled from another kiss as she pulled his face up and looked deeply into his eyes. Fenris lowered his hand and stroked her breast, his fingers dancing down her body, tracing her hip and back up only to receive a wanting moan from Hawke. Hawke then took her right hand and stroked down his chest only to watch him shiver in delight as she stopped at his buckle. He stood up, leaving her on the bed, he admired every inch of her as he pulled his buckle and climbed out of his armour. He left himself horrifyingly and yet satisfyingly naked. Hawke stared at his intricate markings that danced over his features, she made a hungry grin as he then climbed back over her sheets to greet her. She traced his Lyrium veins gently, starting at his chin and following the swirls to the bottom of his chest, there she allowed her fingers to dance on his skin, and enjoying the gentle but hungry growl of the elf that lay beside her.
Oh how her skin felt so good on his own, he thought. For years Fenris was in pain, cursed by the liquefied magic that glittered and glowed beneath his skin. He had grown accustomed to the pain and avoided touch, cursing the Lyrium that festered within him, but the way her warm touch had danced on his skin, he was aflame yes, but not with pain. With pleasure. With want. He needed her, he wanted her and he could wait no longer. He leant down, hovering over her and gently bit into her neck, almost growling at how starved he felt as she moaned again, writhing beneath him. "I want you Fenris," She whispered in his ear as he nibbled on her neck. Immediately he lost control. He plunged into her and they both moaned, internally and externally caressing each other as he continued to explore her. She moaned in his ear softly with each push. There both bodies danced together, entwined and both tracing every feature of each other as they writhed sating their hunger, their need for each other. After hours of their bodies caressing together, becoming one, they both reached oblivion and screamed for one another, collapsing and panting.
Sleep reached their tired bones, and they accepted it openly greeting it fondly as they lay together, Hawke sleeping on Fenris' chest. Hawke had fallen asleep first; her gentle rhythm as she breathed in calm slumber would forever be imprinted on Fenris' memories. He watched her, wondering for a moment what he had done to be worthy of her. He then pondered perfect scenarios of them forever being locked together, and accused himself of never being sated of his hunger. He asked himself how they could continue, fully knowing he would never grow tired of this, and he would always want her. A twisted sense of irony had dawned on him, that he was once again tied down, he would wait on every one of Hawke's words and he would work tirelessly to keep her happy. Such irony, for he had spent so long running from being tied down, running from commands that only this time he did willingly, he relished in the thought that he was free and finally he had something left to fight for other than his own meaningless existence. Suddenly Hawke in her sleep, nuzzled and snuggled closer to his chest and Fenris found a smile creep across his face and content in his heart. He sighed gently and closed his eyes, sleep finally finding him.
Gold, Copper and Crimson skies as the warm air touched his features. This was his surprise for her; he gently squeezed her hand that was one with his own. She gasped at the scenery. The Wounded Coast in the summer evenings, his favourite place to spend during this time of year. They both halted and sat on the ground, Him guiding her. Fenris smiled as he pulled her onto him and cupped Hawke's face, her dark crimson short hair falling slightly over her ears. She giggled, her body gently shaking on top of his own as each chuckle left her. He cocked his head to one side, feeling the sand beneath him. He took in the image of the orange glow that graced her features as the sun set above them.
"You are so beautiful Hawke," Fenris half-gasped gently as his breath was taken from her angelic glow in the sun. "That she is," A cold voice confirmed. Fenris felt a cold shudder run through him, shaking his bones down to the core of him. Before he could think, he was already on his feet, in Lyrium Ghost and pointing the tip of his sword at the intruder. Hawke had non-intentionally been thrown aside, she too grabbed each of her daggers in each hand from their holsters on her back, she was taken in shock, confused but she jumped to her feet and looked up. Fenris growled almost like a rabid dog, baring his teeth in pure hatred. "Ah my little wolf, and this is your mistress then, quite lovely," He said smugly as he took in the woman who now completely understood everything that was happening and gladly mirrored Fenris' disgusted look.
Denarius.
"What are you doing here," Hawke said growling flatly; quite irritated he had intruded on their moment. "I've come to collect my property," Denarius said calmly with a smug grin, slightly advancing towards them, only to stop a moment later when Fenris raised his sword slightly and growled. "Fenris belongs to no-one," Hawke growled back retorting possessively. "Do I detect a note of jealousy? It's not surprising; the lad is rather skilled isn't he? Skilled enough I take it, to satisfy your needs?" Denarius replied with a chuckle, looking at Fenris like he was one of his most prized and rare jewels. "Shut your mouth Denarius," Fenris spat. "The word is 'Master' Fenris and that is enough of this worthless prattle. Come now, and your little whore will receive a quick and painless death," Denarius said flatly, his voice turning stern and cold. Hawke took two steps towards Denarius growling and readying the deathly parry of her blades. Fenris jumped in front of her shielding her, his sword rose higher and the look of fury printed perfectly on his features. "You will not touch a single hair on her head, Denarius. I will KILL YOU," He finished almost shouting charging at his former master, swinging his sword to cut Denarius down.
Denarius waved his stave and immediately Hawke fell to the floor.
Fenris stopped at once and ran back to his beloved. Hawke choked, clawing at her own throat as if something invisible had been strangling the very air from her lungs. She kicked her legs trying to struggle free. Fenris lost every single ounce of battle strength. He panicked and fear consumed him like a plague. He screamed at the top of his lungs in fear and worry. Hawke looked deep into his eyes and he knew in an instant she did not care for her own life, but for his. "STOP DENARIUS, YOU WILL NOT KILL HER!" Fenris shouted franticly and furiously as a warning, raising his blade again trying to protect his woman. Immediately an evil smile crept upon his former master's face. Denarius released Hawke, and Fenris watched in relief as the colour returned to her cheeks. "No I won't kill her," Denarius said smugly again. Fenris' face twisted into confusion. Denarius raised his staff again, continuing his plan. "-Because you're going to do it," He finished chuckling. Before he could protest, before he could run, Fenris was blinded. Fenris' mind went black, time passed and yet it had felt like a split second until his vision returned, he immediately threw up bile into his throat, for his sight betrayed him just as the rest of him had. There in front of him, laid twisted and broken at his feet was Hawke. The life and beautiful light extinguished and her blood thick at his feet. Her eyes thick with betrayal and a small glint of sadness held there. Her hair tangled messily around her face and his blade was through her chest. Fenris howled in agony as Denarius' wicked laugh echoed through his ears.
He jolted awake, sweat streaming from his brow and his face contorted with horror. He gasped for breath. Hawke was still asleep at his side, snoring gently. He sighed in deep relief that she was unharmed. He slowly and carefully climbed from her bed, without disturbing her. He dressed himself and sat in front of the fire. He despised every inch of himself. He swallowed bile in his throat. He had killed her, betrayed her and left her. It was only a dream yes, but he struggled to find any meaning only other than the warning in his heart. He mused on it for hours, concluding he would have to leave her for her own safety. His heart broke at the realisation and he choked back tears. He ached all over and fought his selfish desires to stay with her. He wanted to be sick, to scream his horror. He found himself uttering to the maker. Had this all been some cruel joke? To give him a small moment of freedom and happiness only to rip it from him and leave him shattered, beaten and broken.
Hawke awoke then, sensing he had abandoned her. Her mouth moved but she was mute, He remembered lying to her then, telling her that things were moving too quickly for him and that he had flashbacks from his past. He had to lie, for he knew she would protest it if he had told her the truth, only confirming the warnings he had been shown. He only then saw himself leaving her. Watching her heart break in front of him as he then turned and left her, just as broken inside, as he.
Fenris jumped from his bed in the mansion. He raised the small dagger that he kept under his pillow, in blind sheer horror and panic as he jumped from his flashback nightmares to a standing position in his empty and abandoned mansion. He gazed around, and sensing he was alone, he sighed and relaxed himself breathing deeply as he ran his palms over his sweat covered brow and his hair matted with warm sweat. Yet another nightmare of the night he had left her. They had been frequenting him almost every time he closed his eyes. He once again was disgusted with his actions. His mind and heart, never forgiving him for betraying both himself and the only woman he had ever loved and ever will. His heart ached for her again and he slumped down, his back to the stone wall beside the fire. He curled, his knees meeting his chin as he looked at the stone floor. He remembered the evening before, almost as a test to see if he was still dreaming. He had found Hawke's book, and somehow managed to cleverly lie himself out of explaining the heat in his cheeks. The evening was spent sat beside Hawke reading on the rug of her bedchambers in front of her fire.
Yet only thinking of Hawke had once again flooded his heart with agony as he could not have her.
He tried to push the agony from his heart. He seized the bottle of Aggrecio beside him and swallowed a mouthful. "Forgive me," His own voice echoed through his memories as he had left her that night. Again his heart cried for Hawke. Fenris' hands shook and he realised he would always hate himself for this. He gritted his teeth and threw the bottle of wine at the opposing wall, watching it shatter and the liquid streamed down the wall. He curled to his knees again, his face burrowed into his kneecaps and his fingers twisted round his silver hair. He bunched his hair and pulled angrily. He shouted painfully, but not at the pain his fingers assaulted on his head, but the longing and the heartbreak he agonised over. Then he had lost control. He screamed in agony.
His rare tears stinging his eyes and cheeks as they fell from his eyes, staining the dusty floor as they fell