Summary: well the story kind of sped up a little too much than what I had planned but this is my first fanfic so go easy on me and do r&r I like to hear comments and ideas and I can take criticism.
Naruto and Genius-san were a wild bunch with dreams in their eyes and resolve in their blood. Ever since the blood promise a year ago they had began working at their dreams. Naruto constantly badgering Genius-san for a spar and Genius-san always pointing out the flaws in his form and in his strategy of fighting. And to Naruto it seemed as if Genius-san never had enough time for him. But he never failed in that time with him to critique him down to the most miniscule motion he made. It confused him as to why.
Meanwhile Genius-san had other plans in mind. Naruto was the perfect training partner. He always had something imperfect to point out in Naruto and he liked that. Not to pride himself in his genius but to pride himself as a genius. He was living his dream thanks to Naruto. Yet still it wasn't enough. This is why he started spending his time on research on the essence of chakra control. Yes he believed that it was a great way to start the road to being a genius. And from there he began secret theories. They rocked his world and from there he started experiments by researching the Konoha Ninja history. He wasn't through their he started to soak up all the information he could on any ninja. Any hint to their training, what type of jutsu they used, how the jutsu functioned, what affinities they had, taijutsu training, illusionary techniques, mental health, physical health, their first kill, and down to their daily lives. Being a genius was his obsession. And then he used his time for notes and scrolls. He had the basics of everything and so he looked for the advanced. And a thought came to mind 'who's the sneakiest person I know?... Naruto'
"Naruto!" called out Genius-san.
"What?" Naruto called back with a grunt of annoyance, he was about ready to sleep.
"I gots a proposition for ya" Genius-san said in a knowing way that peaked Naruto's interest.
"And what would that be?" asked an obviously interested Naruto who was trying to feign boredom.
"Well first quit trying to act cool and come with me so you can put your future hokage skills to work" Genius-san stated with an amused grin.
Naruto having gone over the edge when Genius-san said 'future hokage skills' responded "ok what are we going to try to get away with this time because if it's the Nara deer again I quit I'm not getting in trouble for your 'genius' dreams"
"Well actually I was thinking you could sweet talk the ANBU into getting us some ramen again cause the crap they feed us at the orphanage aint cutting it, that and I need you to help me go in restricted zones in the main ANBU building" Genius-san stated flatly.
"Dammit! You know as it is some of the ANBU hate me but that would give them more of a reason to hurt me like the villagers do its enough that we get in trouble for my pranks but for your genius fuck no!" Naruto angrily reasoned.
"Naruto did you know that the Yondaime Hokage did missions that the upper level ninja thought was suicide?"
"And so he had skill, he had the fucking flying thunder-god technique to save his ass if need be, he was the strongest ninja in the world dammit and to him those missions were just a walk in the park."
"Naruto my friend that is where you are wrong he wasn't always the strongest he had to train and kill his way to the top, he did those suicide missions before he made that technique and before he was recognized as a strong ninja, he took those missions on in order to assure his title as future hokage and guess what he made it!"
"So what are you trying to get at?"
"Just think of this as a suicide mission, if we actually manage to pull it off and I extract the information we need we can reach our goals faster, if they investigate and find out we pulled it off they recognize us and want us to be the guys working for them instead of for our own purpose so no matter which way you look at it we get to the end a whole lot faster with this."
Naruto decided that he would do it on account that Genius-san took advantage of his admiration for the Fourth and that he knew more about the Fourth's life than he did. And so the boys first set out a free meal ticket then to ANBU headquarters.
For a four-year old and a five-year old to sneak into an ANBU level restricted zone unseen would normally be impossible but that's why they had to try. For the glory. Naruto due to his pranking abilities had good stealth and was a quick thinker always able to pull himself out of trouble. And with Genius-san his skills seemed to double when in action. So they looked at the ANBU trying to figure out a weakness. And then they realized it. It was so simple and it was a great coincidence that the festival was tomorrow but there was only one dilemma.
"You need what?!" angrily asked an enraged Genius-san.
"You heard me I need ink, scrolls, your neat penmanship, a picket sign and a couple of barrels of sake" responded a very serious Naruto.
"Why the fuck would you need those?"
"Genius-niisan didn't you want my 'future hokage skills'? Well now we're gonna put them to get us into the restricted zone just trust me I have a plan."
"Care to inform me?"
"Well the Kyuubi's Defeat Festival is tomorrow and everyone is celebrating right? Right so what say we treat the ANBU to a drink of sake and see who can chug the most I say if we goad them into a drunken state and then you use the picket sign with your neat handwriting over saying 'ANBU Headquarters Closed for celebration purposes' they might be drunk enough to actually buy it and we go into the restricted zone unrestrictedly because no one told us it was restricted…. Tomorrow"
Genius-san looked at Naruto amazed. That was an actually well thought out plan that was inspired and prepared in the span of about five minutes of looking at the ANBU headquarters and five minutes of looking at the festival preparations. If Genius-san could decide he would make Naruto hokage now.
"Alright Naruto let's do it. I just hope your plan doesn't involve ANBU that can hold their liquor" Genius-san stated wishfully to Naruto.
And the two boys went into to town to see where they could find enough sake barrels to get all the ANBUs drunk. Surely enough they found the barrels being loaded into a merchant's cart. The same merchant who beat down poor Naruto a year ago for taking his son and the same one who knocked Genius-san unconscious for trying to help the 'demon'.
Flashback
Naruto and Isai were running around trying to build up stamina so that they could keep their blood promise to each other. They had just bought weights and finished their warm-ups which consisted of 100 pushups, chin ups, sit ups, pull ups, karate-style pushups, stretches, and futile attempts at break dancing. They were just about worn out when a merchant passed by them giving Naruto a spiteful glare. Unbeknownst to them this merchant lost his only son to the Kyuubi. And when the man saw Naruto He saw a chance at revenge. Immediately he picked up his dagger that he used to protect himself from bandits and stabbed the boy in between the intestines. Naruto writhed in pain in response to said action while Isai screamed "what the fuck!" And then the merchant grabbed Isai by the back of his head and continuously slammed his forehead to the road until no resistance came. He then continued his assault on Naruto by sending a flurry of slash attacks to Naruto's torso and midsection. Naruto fell to the floor asking the man in a pleading voice "what did I do wrong?" The man simply kicked him so hard in the ribs you could hear the bones break and he said to him " you took my son you demon" and then he grabbed Naruto's arm and pulled out a metal bar and he thwacked Naruto's elbow until the white part of the bone came out ripping through the arm. He repeated the process to the other arm and was about to continue his quest for revenge when he heard people headed in their direction and he ran with his merchandise screaming "someone help this poor boy!"
End Flashback
Naruto told Genius-san "I know you said that emotions are taboo for ninja but right now I'm thinking we can pay back our debt to that merchant." He said this with venom dripping from his lips.
Genius-san responded with equal malice in his tongue "Naruto it's my turn now I have an idea."
"Do tell do tell"
"Naruto you get a bucket of sand from the park then when I tell you throw it at his face meanwhile I'll get that dagger from him and from there we go buck wild"
When Naruto returned with the bucket of sand he immediately launched it at the merchant's face and he trapped the bucket over the merchant's head. As the man screamed in shock and mild pain Naruto tripped him to the floor. Genius-san ransacked his cart for the dagger and instead he found a metal rod. With said weapon they hit the man in between his legs where the very identification of males was located. In the balls. After Naruto held his arm and Genius-san beat the elbow until the bone ripped out of the skin. They repeated the same process to the other arm. Genius-san then found a switch-blade in a secret compartment and took it out to reveal the blade. In the reflection of the blade both Naruto and Genius-san gave an evil malicious smile. They started cutting the tendons, ligaments, and muscle located behind the merchant's knee. They did this to both knees so that he would never walk again. After they grabbed rather large, jagged stones and took aim at the man's upper torso. To finish him up they took the bucket off his head and tied him to a nearby tree and took turns beating his forehead with the metal rod until he stopped screaming in pain. Now that revenge was out of the way they took the cart with the barrels full of sake and a sign that said: Caution! Experimental Sake Do Not Give To Light Drinkers. And Genius-san whom caught the sign by a chance glance said to Naruto.
"Hey Naruto how often do the ANBU drink?"
"Well you would think a lot because of mental instability with the killing and all but those ANBU are sent to the psychiatric ward and 'Scarface' with 'Hebi-chan' attend to them with other guys that don't wear Konoha hitaite. But the ones that are in the ANBU buildings are actually light drinkers because they are patrolling or because they are going in and out of missions. I'm surprised though you would think that they drink their problems away yet they don't. Its probably that saru-ojjisan doesn't allow them to drink heavily because in a drunken state ANBU could do pretty stupid things."
"We're in luck then, I guess your plan might pull through" stated a very content Genius-san.
And sure enough it did. When two boys went to the ANBU headquarters building they said that as if in a secret code "the monkey wants to share the bunch" and sure enough the ANBU bought it with the liquor and the cart. They started drinking and eventually most of them passed out while the rest saw the sign that Genius-san made and immediately went to go celebrate with the villagers. In that time Naruto and Genius-san ran to the restricted zone and reached a library of scrolls. They found the guard passed out nude on top of another guard. Naruto thought 'I thought homosexuality was banned in Konoha oh well thankfully they're drunk so no one will remember.' They immediately began to read the scrolls and copy down all that they could and since this wasn't their first time doing a similar occurrence the little tramps worked fast. When they finished they saw a couple ANBUs waking up in hangovers and they had one thought in mind 'fuck'. But as soon as they got up they fell back and Naruto and Genius-san sighed. This woke up the library guards.
"What are you two doing in the restricted zone? When the council finds out you two will be executed for trespassing a government office" the ANBU guards stated with a little too much happiness in their words.
Genius-san being a smart-mouth shot back "then I'll see you guys also on death row"
And one of the ANBU guards said "and why would that be punk?"
Naruto finished Genius-san's thoughts by saying "for indecent exposure to children, homosexual relationships heavy drinking while at post, and for traumatizing two children."
The ANBU guards saw that their nudity, their arousal, they felt recent stimulation in their genitals, and found that cum was leaking their anal regions. They screamed "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
Genius-san continued "now I know that you are already in enough shock but in truth only you two would be on death row and not us, you see the hokage likes us and he won't permit that we die, about you I don't know so it looks like if you don't want your secret out you are gonna have to do what we say"
And immediately after the ANBU clothed themselves they begged and pleaded for mercy saying "we'll do anything, anything just don't tell the hokage about this"
And Naruto said "train us then and teach us how to use these useful jutsu we copied down"
And due to their circumstance they were forced to agree on the two boys' terms. Now for Naruto and Genius-san actual real live training from ANBU began and boy it was going to be a tough one.