I really wish I could write Near better than I do. The weird thing is I already know his personality, and feel that I know it really well. Yet when I go to put it on paper and try to make him act the way he should, it seems as if he just isn't turning out quite right. Of course in this fic he is quite young, but I still want to do him justice and stay consistent with his canon character! I did my best! I hope I haven't failed in this :)

Thanks so much for the reviews everyone! I'll reply after all the chapters are up. Here's Chapter 2!

"It must begin with clothes."

That very evening, with no time to waste, Roger marched his young charges into town to be fitted for new garments. The man felt utterly ridiculous with them behind him, Matt and Mello making faces at their reflections in passing windows as Near clung to L's back, a robot toy clutched in his hands. Roger hadn't had any choice in bringing the young detective along; after all, it would be sheer lunacy to assume L would simply stay in his room while Elizabeth was visiting. If he was going to be seen, he at least had to look presentable as well. But at the moment, Roger was the only one among them who qualified as "presentable". After him there was L in his wrinkled white shirt, faded jeans, sock-less feet, and untied shoes, licking a ridiculously large rainbow lollipop as he walked. Then there was Near, a pale little ghost-like boy buried his white sleepwear. Then Matt, with his flaming red hair and freckled face, standing out even more with his horrendous black and white striped shirt and long black gloves. Perhaps Mello bordered on not being completely atrocious in appearance. He had at least managed color coordination, to an extent. Everything he had on was black.

But if he wasn't atrocious in looks, he made up for it with his personality.

"So, Roger," he said, skipping up to walk alongside the man. "What do we get in exchange for being all 'gentlemanly' for your girlfriend?"

"What do you get?" Roger laughed. "Ha! What do you get? It is what you will not get, sir! You will not get your TV and radio privileges removed. You will not get your chocolate thrown out. You will not get you're your toys and video games taken away." He said this last bit with a backwards glance at the boys behind him. Near quickly pulled his robot a bit closer, and Matt gasped, sounding as if he couldn't breath.

"Y-you'll take away…my…my…" his mouth opened and closed uselessly. "But…but…I…they're…you can't…"

"I can indeed, sir, and I will, unless there is proper behavior during Elizabeth's visit," said Roger, maintaining his stern expression. There was simply no other way. He had no time to moddy-coddle and ask them to be good. He was their authority, and they would have to accept it!

"I'll be good," said Matt, but Mello quickly held up his hand.

"You can't give in so easily, Matt," he said. "Anyway, Roger can't do that."

"Oh, can't I?"

"Ahhh," said L, speaking for the first time since they'd left the house. "I see what you're getting at Mello-chan."

"Indeed," said Near. "He has a devious mind; it's very like him to think of this."

Mello smirked. "Here's the way it's going to go Roger. If you take away our things, we have nothing to lose. And I can promise you we will be complete brats when Elizabeth comes. But if instead you offer to reward us, well, then we'd have something to work for."

Roger looked at a loss for what to say, and L spoke before he could manage a sound. "There is a flaw in your plan, Mello-chan," he said. "Though I don't approve of blackmailing Roger and wouldn't allow you to do it regardless, you have overlooked something. Your plan simply isn't very intelligent. You should want to impress Elizabeth-san and her friends and prove yourself to them. Gaining the favor of others is key in the line of work you are pursuing. Not only that, but…" he leaned down for a closer look at Mello, examining him. "You are one who could blend in with a variety of people. You should practice this skill, as it could come in very useful for you. Still," he hooked his finger in his finger in his mouth thoughtfully. "Even if your plan was better, I can't allow it. This is rather like a game we must play, you see? If you lose, it would be a bad reflection on me."

Roger rolled his eyes. As if these children could possibly mar L's image. His appearance alone was enough to not only mar it, but shatter it to pieces and burn it to ashes. Still, there was no sense in handing complete control of the situation over to L. "Not only that, Mello," he said dryly. "But your things would be taken away after the fact. A consequence, not a ransom. I shall certainly not be giving you a thing in exchange for proper behavior."

Mello folded his arms sulkily as they continued down the street, and as Matt came up beside him he said, "I think I did things right in that situation, Mels. I didn't get a bunch of words thrown at me."

"Oh, shut up," said Mello. "You were just being a kiss-up." He made his voice high and whiny. "Oh, oh, don't take away my precious video games; I'll do anything you want! I'll be good!" He ended with a particularly loud whine. "Hm. At least I stood up for myself."

"You didn't 'stand up for yourself'," said Near, as he made his robot "fly" alongside him. "You simply made a poorly thought out attempt at gaining something. It was rather like asking for a bounty before you've caught the criminal."

Mello surely would have tackled the boy if he hadn't been safely on L's back. As it was, he gave him a fierce glare over his shoulder.

"Now, now, enough of this squabbling," said Roger. "There is shopping to be done!"

…

"In the words of Herman Melville, 'Stripped of the cunning artifices of the tailor, and standing forth in the garb of Eden - what a sorry set of round-shouldered, spindle-shanked, crane-necked varlets would civilized men appear!' Not only are clothes a necessary part of our society, but one should look upon them as a blessing as well. And indeed, is it not an honor to garb oneself in fine cotton, silk, and cashmere?" Roger fussily brushed the sleeves of his already perfectly clean suit even as he spoke, standing in the dressing room of a fine boutique. "Would you not agree, boys?"

"Oooh," Matt groaned miserably as he stared in his reflection in the mirror, wearing a crisp white collared shirt and pale blue sweater-vest. "I look ridiculous."

"It was Epictetus who said, 'Know, first, who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly'," said Near, as L buttoned up his shirt. "Epictetus was around long before Melville. Quite frankly I believe he was significantly more intelligent. I've considered the matter of who I am, and have come to the conclusion that who I am detests these clothes. They feel as if they're suffocating me." He made a slight face as he pulled at the bowtie around his neck.

"Ha, ha, Near! You look like a penguin!" said Mello, strutting in front of the mirror. "I on the other hand look rather dashing." He gave his lapels a sharp tug, pulling the jacket tighter about his shoulders. "How's thisfor dressing like a gentleman Roger?"

"Yes, you look like quite the little man, Mello," said Roger, glad to at least be getting some cooperation. But his pleased expression slowly faded, as he realized what had to be done before this store was left. It was up to him to accomplish what most would think utterly impossible.

"L," he began slowly, choosing his words with care. "They are quite a few fine suits in this shop, wouldn't you agree?"

"Hm, yes," said L, having become distracted with a frayed string he'd found upon the floor. The man behind the front counter gave him an odd look as the young man tipped his head and delicately picked up his find between two fingers.

"Perhaps there is one you have a liking for?"

"No," said L, twisting his head around and upside down, then holding the string above him. "Of course, I haven't done a very thorough investigation of the garments available here. However, of what I've seen nothing appeals to me. Why do you ask?" he suddenly brought the string closer to his face. "This…is polyester. Does it not seem like blasphemy to have an unnatural fiber in such an expensive shop?"

"Roger, I refuse to wear these," said Near calmly, beginning to clumsily unbutton the shirt that had only just been put on him. "Not under any circumstance. I cannot think in them. I'm quite sure this awful ribbon is cutting off the blood circulation to my brain." He hurriedly loosened the bowtie, looking thoroughly rumpled.

"Um, can I refuse to wear these under any circumstance too?" said Matt, beginning to pull off his vest. "They make me look like a nerd."

"You most certainly can not," said Roger. "How about this? If I take the vest out of the equation and replace it with a tie, will you cooperate?"

Matt frowned uncertainly. "But, I think ties look stupid…"

Mello turned around slowly from his mirror, his expression livid. It was a bit too late that Matt noticed the navy blue tie around his neck.

"On second thought that sounds like a great idea" he said quickly. "I mean ties look very business-y and gentlemanly and wonderful. They're great."

Mello smirked. "You better stick to that if you don't want to end up with your GameBoy in the toilet."

"Well, there," said Roger. "That's settled. Now, Near, surely there must be some compromise we can make?"

"No. There is none." The boy sat down as he began to pull of his suit pants right outside the dressing rooms. "I won't wear it. You may punish me for it all you wish, but I will not change my mind."

Roger huffed in exasperation. "It would only be for a few hours!"

"I refuse."

"Pft. Who cares?" said Mello. "Let him look low-class while I look like an aristocrat. You can just tell Elizabeth that I'm first now, and have Near take their coats and hats or something."

Near sent a little glare in Mello's direction as he sat upon the floor in his underwear, before he pulled his white shirt back over his head. Roger caught this look immediately, and an idea sprang to his mind. Near was a somewhat competitive boy, wasn't he? He didn't want to be outdone, and this was also a perfect way to dispose of the little problem with L.

Roger went over to L quickly, who was now comparing his first string with another he'd found in the area. "L," Roger said, in hushed tones. "Something must be done about Near. It is crucial that he be presentable for Elizabeth's arrival."

"I agree," said L, tying his two strings together. "However, he seems rather resolute. I don't believe there is much to be done at this point." He glanced over his shoulder at the boy. "Near-chan, you'll have to wear the clothes or I'll spank you."

"Then I suppose you'll have to do so," said Near, not fazed in the least by the threat. L might as well have said he would throw feathers at him.

"Yes!" said Mello. "He deserves it."

"No, no, L. Your attention please," said Roger, physically turning L's face back toward him. "It's quite obvious threats are useless. However," he lowered his voice even further, "the boy does have a bit of a competitive streak, especially when it comes to you I'd say."

"Ah, I see what you are suggesting Roger," said L, nodding.

"You do?"

"I do indeed. A most clever idea. If I wear such clothes, Near-chan will feel it necessary to do the same in order to match me lest I outdo him."

"Yes," said Roger. "Exactly that. Ah, but perhaps it shall disrupt your thinking ability to wear such things." He sighed dramatically. "I understand of course. I wouldn't want you to be mentally impaired."

L frowned. "Nonsense. I shall be nothing of the sort. I shall begin a search of this store at once. Simply pay for your things and wait for me outside. Go ahead and buy the clothes for Near as well."

Smiling in silent triumph, Roger got the boys back into their other clothes and took their purchases to the front counter, where the clerk looked terribly relieved to know they were going to depart at last. Taking them just outside to an ice cream shop across the street, he occupied them with the sweets as he waited for L's arrival anxiously. It had suddenly occurred to him that the young man probably didn't have the slightest clue on how to pick the appropriate size, and was beginning to have visions of an atrocious over-sized suit, when the shop door across the street opened at last, and L stepped out onto the sidewalk.

"Oh good Lord," said Roger, as dropped his head into his hand. There was a gasp from Matt, and Mello sprang out of his seat to meet L as he approached. Near's eyes had widened, the ice cream beginning to drip onto his hand.

"Roger," he began slowly. "What-"

"Don't," said the man. "Just don't say a word. The lot of you are determined to humiliate me at all costs, it's clear enough."

The problem was not at all that L's suit was too big. Quite the contrary; in fact it had a marvelous fit. L had even managed to get himself dress shoes, though Roger doubted he was wearing socks with them. No, the problem lay in the suit's color.

Pink.

Pure Pink. Not bright, not pale. Just pink.

Even the tie.

"I think it looks excellent," said Mello, having jumped up to cling to L's shoulders and not giving him any choice except to carry him. "People with black hair can wear pink very well."

"Yes, I thought it looked rather nice too," said L. "So, what do you think Roger-san?"

Roger choked back his initial response, which would have been far from polite. What followed were several moments of mental struggle, during which the old man's face turned varying shades of red before he said tensely, "What possessed you?"

L gazed up at the clouds overhead in thought. "Well, I had a cake yesterday. A pink one, with a strawberry on top and icing swirls all over. I rather liked it, and this color reminded me of it. I felt I would be happy to wear something that was rather like a cake." Setting Mello upon the ground, he began to rummage through the bag he had also carried from the store. From within the tissue paper inside, he withdrew a little pink dress and swiftly removed a cupcake pin that was upon its collar. Holding it out to Roger, he said, "The cashier said I 'absolutely could not' purchase only the pin, so I had to get the dress as well." He fastened the pin to the lapel of his jacket, looking terribly pleased with it.

"You should have gotten a top hat as well," said Near. "You could be the perfect Willy Wonka."

"Willy Wonka doesn't wear pink," said Matt. "Haven't you read the book?"

"Story books do not appeal to me."

"Near," L crouched down directly in front of the boy to get his attention. "Have you considered that if ever you are to succeed me, you must be able to rise to the occasion, whatever that occasion may be? In refusing this, you are showing a great weakness." Near's eyes widened slightly. "Are you not prepared to go to any lengths to win the game? Everyone else has surpassed you in this."

"Oh," Near glanced about a moment, before examining L's suit again. "I feel very much that this is unfair manipulation."

"Manipulation is part of the game. We have considered the situation, taken into account your weaknesses, and taken advantage of them," said L, perfectly blunt. "Of course, if you presented no weaknesses there would be no manipulation. You are saying the clothes are your weakness, but if you instead did not reveal that they bother you and simply wore them…"

"Then there would be no room for manipulation, because I had taken advantage of my own weakness, which would end up being to my advantage," said Near. "I understand the concept. I will…consider the idea. However I'll make no promises."

"Ah, there then," said L. "Roger, it seems this is the most we can accomplish for now. I am quite certain that if everyone on earth had this boy's personality, mankind would not get a thing done simply because of its sheer stubborn will."

Roger nodded. "Indeed. That's why such a child is a rarity."

L picked Near up as they prepared to leave the café, since although the boy could walk he wasn't particularly steady on his feet. Not only that, but having considerably shorter limbs than the rest of them gave him difficulty in keeping up. It was altogether a strange picture, the white-shrouded boy providing a stark contrast to L's pink clothes. Near fiddled with the young man's pin a moment, twisting it about in thought, before he said, "Are you glad there isn't more than one of me? I mean, do you really think it would be a bother if there were more people like me?"

"I certainly think it's a good thing you're the only one of your kind," said L. "There being only one of you makes you all the more important."

Near didn't often smile but he did so then, a very small almost-invisible motion of his mouth. "Oh. I suppose that's a rather good thing of you to say."

"Besides," said L, as Roger motioned to them from ahead. "If there was more than one of you, I fear poor Mello-chan would lose his mind."

"Yes," Near glanced ahead, where Mello was already glancing back with a distressed look as he realized L was having a conversation and he wasn't a part of it. "He likes to say he's your favorite, and he's horrid about it sometimes."

"Well, I can't pick favorites between the three of you. I can pick who succeeds the others in performance, but that doesn't mean I like that particular one better. But I probably shouldn't tell Mello that; it may make him rather upset."

"Probably. You should see him when he's throwing a tantrum. It's actually rather amusing, if one is a safe distance away."

"I'll probably get to see one soon enough," said L, repositioning Near onto his back. "Considering the difficulties that shall be arising as Sunday approaches, I'm sure he'll have a fine opportunity to be a brat about something."

"Come along, let's not drag our feet," said Roger, as the two of them finally caught up with the others and Mello quickly latched onto L's free hand. "It's getting rather late. And these boys still need to be cleaned up before bed." He shot a meaningful look in Matt's direction, and the dirty little boy glanced up from his video game with a look of horror.

"You…you mean," he gulped. "By 'clean' do you mean just putting our clothes in the laundry and dusting ourselves off 'clean'…or…or do you mean…?"

"I mean the proper kind of clean Matt," said Roger.

"Oh, here we go," said Near.

Mello laughed, pointing his finger tauntingly in Matt's direction. "Ha! Matty has to get a bath!"

Mello is such a brat. I just love that about him. Bratty children are fun to write about :) Have you ever watched the movie Eloise at the Plaza? Bratty. Main. Character. Like a six year old girl-Mello. Kids like that would drive me crazy in real-life of course…

"Near-chan, you'll have to wear the clothes or I'll spank you" was inspired by "Misa-san take this seriously or I'll kick you", on page 63 of volume 6. Of course L wouldn't threaten to kick a child!

I have proof that L will even change his clothes if it means winning/solving/getting farther along in something: page 173 volume 5. He dressed up as a paramedic. He didn't like it but...he did it :)