Chapter II: On Introductions and Teamwork

Iruka was a little worried for his most troublesome, and yes, if he was being honest, his favorite student.

Naruto walked into the examination room with a serious frown on his face. He had his hands in his pockets and his eyebrows were furrowed like he was concentrating hard. When he saw Iruka, he put on a sunny grin, but his eyes still looked like he was thinking about something else.

"He looks like he's gotten himself worked up over this," Mizuki murmured. "That can't be a good thing."

Iruka shook his head. "We have to be supportive," he said. "If he can do it, he can do it. If he can't- maybe it's for the best that he takes a different path from that of being a ninja."

Mizuki shrugged. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

"Naruto Uzumaki, reporting for genin examination," the blonde boy rattled off. They'd practiced that in class.

"Proctors Iruka Umino and Mizuki Kaname," Iruka said into a voice recorder, "Overseeing the genin examination of Academy student Naruto Uzumaki."

To the boy, he asked, "Are you ready?"

"Yes." Naruto nodded, expression determined.

"We'll be testing you on your skill with the Clone Technique. To pass the examination and become a genin, you must create three perfect clones. Proceed whenever you are ready."

"Okay!"

Inwardly, Iruka cringed for the inevitable failure. Even up to a week ago, when they practiced this same technique in class, Naruto had been unable to make even one satisfactory clone. For him to make three perfect clones would require an act of God, or else some truly remarkable luck.

Naruto put his hands into a seal- an odd one, actually. Iruka didn't recognize it. He hoped the kid hadn't been experimenting with ninjutsu. You could get yourself killed doing something stupid like that.

Then Naruto shouted, "Shadow Clone Technique!"

Iruka almost fell out of his chair.

Part of him was screaming stop that kid before he kills himself, because that technique was forbidden for a reason, you had to have jounin-level chakra levels to even make one shadow clone without completely depleting your reserves and if you didn't, that could kill you, and the other part was just demanding how?

Three perfect clones popped into existence around Naruto.

"Whoo, we did it!" cheered one. "I was worried we might get it wrong and have to redo the Academy."

"We should have more faith in us," said another sternly. "We're pretty awesome."

"Is that a shadow clone?" Iruka demanded, heart racing. "Naruto, where did you learn that?"

All four Narutos looked up innocently.

"Old man Hokage taught us," the middle Naruto said. "I asked him about Jinpu Hazan, but he said that wasn't a real technique, and I was super sad about that because just whooshing and blasting people would've been so cool, man."

"Oh. Okay. Of course." Iruka stared. "And then he just taught you an incredible forbidden technique. Why not?"

Naruto puffed out his chest and looked proud. "Well, I asked about Shadow Clones specially, since the hero in this book uses them, and he said that you could only use them if you have lots and lots of chakra. But he said I'm lucky, 'cause I apparently have the chakra of the nine-tailed demon fox sealed in my stomach."

Iruka gaped.

"Oops," Naruto said. "I think I was supposed to keep quiet about that."

Beside Iruka, Mizuki was rapidly recalculating the probability of successfully convincing Naruto to steal the scroll and then reveal that he was secretly the jinchuriki of the nine-tailed fox in the most emotionally scarring way possible and hope that he would run off into the woods and get himself into trouble, thereby causing enough of a commotion to allow Mizuki to escape.

Yes, it was definitely time for plan B.

What was plan B again?

"Team Seven is Sakura Haruno, Naruto Uzumaki, and Sasuke Uchiha."

"Hey, cool!" Naruto said. "Well, not so much about Sasuke, he can kind of be a buzzkill sometimes. But Sakura's nice."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and retorted, "You're just too happy."

"Proving my point exactly," Naruto agreed. "Anyway, I look forward to working with you, Sakura."

Sakura didn't answer- she just gave Naruto a long look like she wasn't quite sure what to think of him.

"I'll take that as enthusiastic agreement," Naruto decided.

"Team Eight is Hinata Hyuga, Kiba Inuzuka, and Shino Aburame. Team Ten is Ino Yamanaka, Shikamaru Nara, and Choji Akimichi. That's all. The jounin instructors should be by to pick you up for your first day of training, so stay in the classroom until they come for you."

"When Iruka-sensei said 'stay in the classroom', do you think he meant indefinitely?" Naruto wondered. "I mean, I know patience is a virtue of a ninja, et cetera, et cetera, but it's been like three hours."

"I'm sure our sensei will be here shortly," Sakura tried. "Maybe?"

"We could all bail," Naruto suggested. "What do you think, Sasuke?"

Sasuke opened his mouth to answer, but Naruto shushed him.

"Never mind. I'm sure you're just going to say something like 'boredom is for the weak' or 'I don't have time for such petty concerns,' or-"

"I was going to say," Sasuke interrupted him with a pointed look, "That we could go use the Academy training fields until he shows up."

Naruto looked impressed. "Wow, I didn't know you were such a rebel."

"Iruka-sensei did tell us to stay in the classroom," Sakura reminded them halfheartedly. "And if our instructor showed up and found us gone, we could get in trouble."

"Aw, c'mon, Sakura," Naruto pleaded. "I know you're as bored as we are."

"Well…" she said eventually. "I guess if one of us was stationed on the roof, we could see him coming and flag him down. That way two of us could spar together or do shuriken practice while the other one rests or does equipment maintenance. We could switch out every ten minutes."

Naruto grinned hugely. "Excellent! Let's go!"

Sakura's plan worked well.

For another hour and a half, the three of them alternated training and keeping watch from the roof. They fell into a pattern. Naruto was happy to be outside and moving around instead of in the stuffy classroom, Sakura was pleased not to be sitting idly with nothing to do, and Sasuke apparently loved training more than any reasonable person.

It was Naruto's turn to sit on the roof. He watched Sakura and Sasuke sparring with kunai, occasionally shouting out commentary.

"Come on, Sakura, you can take him!"

"Ouch, that must've hurt."

"And Sasuke pulls off another counterclockwise kick! Sakura ducks and goes for the throat! Sasuke blocks it and throws a punch!"

After a few minutes, the two on the ground paused, panting.

"Who are you even narrating to?" Sakura demanded.

"Our jonin instructor," Naruto said. "The one hiding in the tree."

"I think his name's Kakashi Hatake," Sasuke offered. "I've seen him around the village sometimes. Don't know much about him, though."

Sakura glanced up at the tree. "His name was in the Academy records," she said. "Kakashi Hatake, son of Sakumo Hatake, graduated age 5."

"What about 'really really late?'" Naruto asked. "Was that in the Academy records?"

"Don't be rude," she scolded him. "Even if it is true."

"Maybe someone should invite him down," Naruto suggested. "I feel a little weird talking about him like he isn't here."

"Excuse me, uh, Mr. Hatake?" Sakura called. "Can you please come down? We don't bite, I promise." She reconsidered. "Well, Naruto might. But he's never had much in the way of manners."

A man in a green chunin vest with spiky silver hair and a headband pulled down over his eye appeared in a sudden puff of smoke and leaves. Naruto had never seen him before, but if Sasuke was right, then this was their new jonin instructor, Kakashi Hatake.

"Hi," Naruto said.

"Why are the three of you disobeying orders?" Kakashi demanded. His face was carefully blank, but his stance was pretty intimidating. "You were instructed to stay in the classroom until my arrival."

"Why are you so late?" Naruto asked. "You were instructed to pick us up at noon."

Sasuke snorted.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "We were presented with orders," she said in a flawlessly professional tone. "But the situation in the field changed, so we came up with a more efficient and beneficial plan and implemented it at our discretion."

"Oh? Was this your idea, then?" Kakashi folded his arms.

She tilted her head. "Well, I can't take all the credit. It was Naruto who pointed out the futility of wasting however many hours in the classroom, and it was Sasuke who came up with the idea of going outside and training."

"But Sakura had the idea of setting up alternating shifts of training and keeping watch," Naruto chimed in.

Sasuke nodded.

"So what you're saying," Kakashi summarized in a deceptively mild tone, "Is that you were all equally guilty in disobeying orders?"

Sakura winced, but nodded. "Pretty much."

Kakashi grinned. "We're going to get along just fine."

"Was that a threat?" Naruto asked Sasuke. "That sounded like a threat. I'm scared."

"Don't worry," Sakura told him, rolling her eyes. "Sasuke and I will protect you with our very lives."

"You may have to," Naruto said seriously. "This guy is terrifying."

"I'm flattered," Kakashi told him.

"Eeep!" Naruto squeaked. He hid behind Sasuke. "Save me!"

Sasuke gave him an irritated look. "At least pretend to be an actual ninja sometimes."

"I think it is completely justifiable for me, as a real-life actual genin, to run away from creepy jounin who hide in trees and spy on me, and then go poof and then make thinly veiled threats at me," Naruto said, looking offended.

"That's true," Sasuke admitted.

"Why were you hiding in the trees, anyway?" Sakura asked. "I feel like I should be concerned that you feel the need to spy on your students."

"I wanted to see how you interacted with one another," Kakashi said, wondering why he was explaining himself to three kids. "I was evaluating your skills and temperaments to see whether it's worth my time to train you."

"Couldn't you have just talked with us and gained the same information?" Sasuke asked. "That seems easier."

"Certainly not," Kakashi sniffed. "This was a vital step in making a decision."

"What do you think?" asked Sakura. "Will you train us?"

"If I said no, what would you do?" Kakashi retorted.

"Are you going to say no?" she wondered. "Because that would really suck."

"I might," Kakashi admitted. "Training genin is a bit of a pain, so even though they keep assigning me teams, I've failed all of them and sent them back to the Academy."

"You're lazier than Shikamaru," Naruto said, sounding impressed.

"Why do they keep assigning you teams if you just fail them all?" Sakura asked. "That seems like a pretty horrible thing to do- assign genin to an instructor if you know he doesn't want them and he's going to send them back to the Academy."

"I'm not really sure," Kakashi said after a pause. "Maybe they do it just to irritate me?"

"This does not bode well," Naruto said sadly. "It was nice knowing you, headband."

"Well, you never know," their jonin instructor said sympathetically. "I might change my mind. Maybe. Then again, I might not."

Sakura sighed. "Ino is going to gloat so much."

"Let's not go that far," Kakashi said. "Come on, let's go find a remote rooftop that no one's using today. We should probably get to business."

"So, I think we should all start by introducing ourselves," Kakashi said cheerfully. "Name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, dream for the future. You first, blondie."

"Me?" Naruto asked.

"Who else would I be calling 'blondie'?" Kakashi asked in exasperation.

"Just checking."

"Go on."

"Um, I'm Naruto Uzumaki," he offered. "Ramen, Hokage, beat Sasuke, et cetera, et cetera. I mean, you all know my spiel already. Or at least I hope you do. You've been in the same class as me for five years now. I would be very hurt if you didn't at least pay that much attention."

Sakura and Sasuke nodded, relieved.

"Oh, good," Sakura said. "I was worried you might rehash your campaign speech for the third year in a row."

"I thought about it," Naruto admitted. "But we're running late, and my 'Uzumaki for Fifth Hokage' speech is a little long."

"A little? It was half an hour," Sasuke pointed out. "That's more than a 'little' long."

"Well, if I'd cut out the part about government-subsidized ramen, I probably could have gotten it down to fifteen minutes," Naruto said thoughtfully. "Shall I give a try?"

"No."

"That's all well and good for your teammates," Kakashi said, "But I haven't heard your introduction."

"Yeah, but you've probably read my personnel file," Naruto explained. "So I don't feel the need to go into detail about my love for ramen."

Kakashi looked a little miffed, but nodded. "Fine, then. Sakura?"

"Are we actually doing this?" she asked. "I thought we established that this whole thing is kind of pointless."

Kakashi folded his arms and gave her a stern look.

"…Fine," she said at last. "I'm Sakura Haruno. Since you're so desperate to know all about me, you should probably know I have a crush on Sasuke which he has summarily rejected, and Naruto has a crush on me, which I have summarily rejected, and Hinata Hyuga has a crush on Naruto that he has completely failed to notice for five years straight."

"Wait, what?" Naruto demanded.

"I also have a split personality with violent tendencies, so if I say anything unusual, please disregard it."

Kakashi and Sasuke looked slightly alarmed. Naruto was still bemused by the sudden revelation of Hinata's crush, and wasn't paying much attention.

"I like the color pink, umeboshi, anmitsu, and word puzzles. I'm not fond of spicy food. My hobbies include reading, studying, and… actually, that's pretty much it. My dream for the future is, obviously, to become a great ninja."

"Very good," Kakashi said with a smile. "Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"I guess not," Sakura admitted. "Still seems kind of pointless, though."

Kakashi didn't seem to hear her. "Next!" he declared loudly.

"Naruto didn't have to do it," Sasuke pointed out. "Why should I?"

"Because I say so," Kakashi said. "And a happy jonin instructor is the least likely to fail you all and send you back to the Academy."

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"My name's Sasuke Uchiha, as all of you already know," he said. "I guess normally I'd say I don't like anything, but since Sakura brought up the subject of food, I do like omusubi and tomatoes. I dislike a lot of things. I'm not fond of natto, for instance. Or wasting time doing pointless introductions."

"I wonder who would do something like that?" Kakashi said innocently.

"My dream is to track down and destroy my evil clan-killing rogue ninja older brother Itachi in vengeance for my parents'- and for that matter, my entire extended family's- brutal murders."

Naruto gasped.

"Why are you acting so shocked?" Sasuke asked irritably. "It's not like this is or ever has been some kind of big secret. Everyone in the Academy was talking about it- loudly, I might add- for weeks afterwards. It was not helpful for my post-traumatic recovery, I can tell you that."

"And yet somehow, I feel like this is completely new information," Naruto mused.

"I didn't even know his parents were dead," Sakura said with a frown. "How did I manage to miss that?"

"Especially considering it wasn't just his parents, it was apparently his entire clan," Naruto added. "One of the biggest clans in Konoha. They ran the police force for heaven's sake. How did this not make the news?"

"It did." Sasuke stressed. "Literally everyone knew."

"Are you sure?" Naruto asked. "Because I'm pretty sure I didn't hear anything about this."

"Yes, I'm sure I remember the circumstances of my clan's mass-murder." Sasuke ascertained. "It was kind of a memorable event."

"Wait, your clan was murdered?" Sakura asked. "When?"

Kakashi cleared his throat. "Moving on…?"

"Oh, right. Yeah, so my clan was murdered and I want to kill my brother. What else was there?"

"You skipped 'hobbies'," Naruto reminded him helpfully.

"Does training count as a hobby?" Sasuke asked.

"Well, I would say no," Kakashi mused, "But Sakura said reading and studying for her hobbies, so I guess we'll just let the low standard slide here."

"Yay, we're done!" Naruto cheered. "What next?"

"Well, I may have kind of set up an incredibly unfair test where if you don't defeat me, you'll be sent back to the Academy and only two of the three of you can pass."

"That isn't very nice," Naruto said with a frown. "And we were just getting to know each other. How could you interrupt our team bonding?"

"Please tell me you didn't count my explaining the brutal murder of my family as team bonding," Sasuke requested.

Naruto looked shifty.

"You did," Sasuke said in dismay. "You know, I'm not sure I even want to be on this team. I might be better off I went back to the Academy and tried my luck at getting assigned to a different squad."

"Well, if you wait until tomorrow, you might just get your wish," Kakashi said cheerfully. "Because that's when we'll be having our test to see if you get to stick around."

"I can't wait," muttered Sasuke.

They showed up the next morning at 5:00 am, as instructed.

It wasn't because any of them really expected Kakashi to show up early, after the events of the day before. None of them were that naïve. But Kakashi was a ninja, and ninja could be really obnoxious sometimes. It would be just like him to fail them just for showing up a few minutes late and call it a day.

This time, though, they came prepared.

"Hey, guys!" Naruto said. "I brought a pack of cards!"

"I brought some taijutsu scrolls from the Uchiha library," Sasuke contributed. "And some extra ninja wire, if we want to get creative."

"Wow, kinky," Sakura muttered.

Naruto and Sasuke both looked at her.

She shrugged. "Couldn't resist. Anyway, I brought some snacks. Also a yo-yo and a book of hiragana crosswords."

"Snacks?" Naruto asked. "Didn't Kakashi-sensei say we might throw up?"

"Yeah, well, Iruka-sensei told us not to leave the classroom, didn't he?" Sakura asked rhetorically. "Besides, it isn't anything heavy. It should stay down well enough, and, honestly, if it doesn't, then we'll probably have bigger problems than throwing up."

"You convinced me," Naruto said immediately. "I was wishing I'd eaten something anyway."

"It's not like he's likely to show up before noon, anyway," Sasuke agreed. "Might as well."

"Thanks, Sakura, you're the best."

"No problem."

The sat together quietly, munching on the rice balls Sakura had brought along.

"These are really good," Naruto commented. "Did you make them yourself?"

She shook her head. "Not a chance. My dad made them. He's good about doing nice things like that. He was probably up before dawn."

"Wow, loving parents," Naruto said in great interest. "What's that like?"

"Um, good?" Sakura said. "I don't know how it compares to not having parents, but I do love my mom and dad and I would be sad if I didn't have them around."

Naruto nodded, looking fascinated.

Sasuke finished off his food and stood up. "Want to go practice taijutsu?" he offered. "I wanted to look at those scrolls this morning."

"Heck yeah," Naruto said enthusiastically.

"Don't forget the wire," Sakura said with a smirk.

"Aren't you coming with?" Naruto asked. "Come on, it won't be team bonding without you."

"Taijutsu isn't really my forte," Sakura temporized.

"Come on, you can go back to your word puzzles later. You and I can team up and take down Sasuke."

"I'd like to see you try," Sasuke said, looking offended.

"And that sounds like an invitation to me," Naruto retorted. "Come on, Sakura, let's crush him!"

Naruto and Sakura against Sasuke was actually a pretty even fight, until Naruto pulled out his shadow clones and was accused of cheating.

He'd protested that there weren't any rules against ninjutsu, and Sasuke had retorted that there were, because the rule against trying to kill the opponent meant that he couldn't use any of his fire techniques, and that meant that Naruto wasn't allowed to use his trump jutsu either. In the end, Sakura called a truce and invited them all to sit down for a while so she could do her crosswords.

Then Naruto pulled out his deck of cards, and things had escalated quickly.

When Kakashi showed up at half past eleven, he'd found his three genin sitting in a circle on the ground of the training field playing strip poker.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei," said a fully-clothed Naruto. "What's up?"

"What are you doing?" Kakashi asked in real confusion. "I mean, no, I know what you're doing, but why?"

"An ill-conceived plan for vengeance," Sakura explained with a wince. She was wearing an undershirt and shorts, and a pile of discarded clothing lay to one side. "Don't ask."

"Not just vengeance," Naruto objected. "Also team bonding and the power of friendship."

"I normally like vengeance," Sasuke said, who'd had the advantage of counting his arm warmers as articles of clothing and was still wearing his shorts and shirt. His sandals and headband, along with the arm warmers and his shuriken pouch lay beside him. "But it isn't so much fun when I'm the target of it."

"You do realize this is village property," Kakashi inquired. "And that you could be arrested for public indecency?"

"Please," Naruto said disdainfully. "We're ninja. We don't have a dress code. You've seen what Anko wears."

Kakashi had to admit the point.

"You're taking it awfully easy," he said instead. "Aren't you worried at all about the big test? This could make or break your careers as ninja."

"Could it really?" Sakura asked doubtfully. "Worst case scenario, we repeat a year at the Academy. It isn't like any of us would be in danger of failing the genin examinations, having already passed them once."

"It would be frustrating," Sasuke admitted. "Since my goal is kind of time-sensitive. There's a very real possibility that I would just give up on redoing the Academy and find someone else to teach me. But even, then, it wouldn't end my career as a ninja, just as a genin of the Konoha Shinobi Corps."

"Meh, I feel like I could pester the old man into giving me a second shot," Naruto said with a shrug. "And even if I couldn't, I could totally coast through the Academy if I repeated a year."

"Oh, I have an idea!" Sakura said cheerfully. "If two or all of us fail the exam, we can get together back at the Academy to read some more advanced scrolls and teach ourselves. I bet we could even get Iruka-sensei to give us some extra lessons."

"Ew, work," Naruto said.

Sasuke looked interested. "That might be worthwhile," he said at length. "I wonder if we could get a jounin to teach us some techniques- not officially, of course, but kind of under the table."

Naruto still looked unconvinced, but he shrugged. "Well, I did get the old man to teach me the Shadow Clone technique. So we have a foot in the door there, at least."

"Of course!" Sakura enthused. "I didn't even think of that."

Kakashi was a little dismayed at his students' lack of anxiety. "Aren't you even a little concerned about failing?"

"Sure we are," Sakura told him in consoling tones. "We're very frightened of your survival test. It's just that we have good contingency plans, is all."

"You certainly do," Kakashi acknowledged, smiling. "I'm impressed."

"Oh, god, he's smiling," Naruto said in horror. "Yeah, I'm officially scared now."

"Well, then. Let's get started, shall we?"

Notes: And so, the descent into insanity begins. Don't say I didn't warn you... Today's fun fact: this story was originally intended to be a oneshot. I was fifty-five pages in before I finally reconsidered that plan.