Clare Went Back to the Dance

By TheBucketWoman

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Degrassi or anything else I reference herein. No profit is being made and no infringement intended.

Chapter Two.

Eli, for his part, ping ponged between swearing that he would never forgive Clare for picking that moment to dump his ass and being pretty sure that he'd forgive her anything if she'd just show up. Or call. Or text. Maybe even tweet at him.

Technically she left before he crashed the hearse, had been leaving him for weeks, in fact, but that didn't stop him from thinking that leaving him at the hospital like that was at least a little wrong.

Who am I kidding? He thought. He just wanted to see her. It was a little hard to work up moral outrage in the face of what he'd done.

Maybe if he had at least pretended to forgive Fitz and maybe looked the other way when the kid talked about the "deep connection" he had with Clare all of a sudden, things would be different.

Maybe if he'd been a little less fucking crazy in general. There was really only so much a person should have to put up with and Eli just wore out his welcome. He'd said as much to the shrink when he came.

"Why do you think that?" the guy said because that's what he always said. At least he didn't say "why do you think that is?" Turning it into a rhetorical question would have sent Eli over the edge. He hated rhetorical questions. He liked short answers. Maybe some true/false. Essay questions were the best, though. Even if he didn't study, Eli could bullshit his way through an essay question and pass.

Except that this guy was too sharp to let Eli bullshit him. That was going to be a problem. There was medication in Eli's near future. He'd avoided the pharmaceuticals up to this point, but his unmedicated days were over.

Adam came. Bullfrog had mentioned that he'd tried to come the night before but couldn't get in to see him before he got transferred from the ER to an actual room. Still, it didn't look like he'd slept at all, and Cece mauled him the second she noticed he was there, the poor kid.

"Wow," Eli said. "You look like shit." Adam glared at him.

"Too soon?" Eli asked.

Cece scoffed.

"Guess I'll leave you guys alone for a second," she said. "I'll be right outside, though."

"So? How was the dance? Meet any—" Eli asked.

"You wanna just tell me what the fuck happened?" Adam asked, cutting him off.

"From whence the potty mouth?"

Adam was not amused, nor would he be distracted. "Answer the question."

"Okay," Eli said. "Actually, I don't 'wanna tell you what the fuck happened.'"

"If you're gonna double talk me, I can just go home and take a nap," Adam said.

"Alright!" Eli said. "Just…sit down, okay?"

"Start talking," Adam said, arms folded.

"I don't have a good answer…"

"Guess I'll come back when you do then—"

"Sit down!" Eli's voice cracked humiliatingly and that seemed to get Adam to finally sit down.

He started talking, just like he was told, hoping that he didn't cry again. Seemed like he'd done nothing but cry like a three year old since Clare left, snot everywhere. Cece kept wiping at his face like she did when he was little, wouldn't let him take the tissue and do it himself. He was sure that this didn't inspire anyone's confidence in his recovery.

And then he went and made Adam cry. Adam was tougher than anyone in the world and Eli just made him cry.

"Seemed like a good idea at the time, huh?" Adam asked after Eli was finished, wiping at his eyes with the heel of his hand.

"Pretty much," Eli agreed. "I'm just fucking crazy."

"Don't say crazy," Adam said.

"Huh?"

"It's offensive," Adam said.

"Kidding me?"

"It is," Adam said. "Maybe I'm a little oversensitive, but being called a tranny or a sh—"

"Point taken," Eli said. "'I'm just a little unwell.'"

Adam cocked his head at him for a second, then smiled.

"I knew it," Adam said. "I just knew it! Where do you keep em?"

"Keep what?"

"The Matchbox Twenty CDs?" Adam said. "And any other stuff that's too mainstream for people to know about. Under your bed? "

"Please," Eli said. "I can leave stuff out in plain sight. Can't find anything in my room." His room was much better than it was, actually. It was almost at the point of regular teenage boy messy.

"What was that from, Mad Season?"

"More Than You Think You Are," Eli corrected.

"You are so busted," Adam said, still grinning at him. Eli started to smile back, but couldn't really keep it up.

"Did you talk to Clare?"

"Last night."

"What'd she say?"

"She…wasn't really using complete sentences," Adam said.

"Is she okay?" Eli asked. "What happened?"

"She flip—" Adam began, then corrected himself. "She's upset."

"Shit," Eli said, even though a twisted little part of his brain still thought that she should be upset.

"She's not alone," Adam said.

"What happened?"

"Nothing," Adam said. "She just got upset. She'll be okay." Eli pictured Clare surrounded by people, all of them wanting to make it better. He hoped that that was what was going on. "Alli's with her."

Eli nodded. She was safe with Alli. He respected her in spite of, or maybe because of the way she kept giving him the stink-eye.

"She's never going to forgive me, is she?" Eli said. A fucking rhetorical question.

"She's Clare," Adam said.

"I mean, I guess she shouldn't forgive me, but..."

"Dunno if she's gonna want to talk to you anytime soon," Adam said. "But she'll forgive you. You know, eventually."

Eli nodded. He wanted her there, more than anything, but he knew better than to think he could have her.

"Tell her I'm sorry?"

"Sure," Adam said. "If she's still talking to me. I kinda yelled at her last night and I might have to face the wrath of Alli before I can even get in to see her."

"I really love her, you know," Eli said.

"I know."

"I didn't mean to fuck it up," Eli said. "She said I manipulated her. I was just desperate to get her to stay for a minute. I really didn't mean to."

"Okay."

"You believe me?"

"Yes, I believe you."

"You're not just saying that?"

"Eli," Adam said.

"Am I being unwell again?"

"Just relax," Adam said.

"Relax!" Eli said a little louder than he meant to. It brought Cece back in. "Good one."

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Nothing," Eli said. "I'm just scaring Adam away."

"I'll come back tonight," Adam said. "Could I bring him a burger or something?"

"That sounds amazing, baby," Cece said, pulling him in for some more rib breaking Cece love. "You get some rest, first, though."

"Will do," Adam mumbled. He leaned over to Eli for a fist-bump and beat it out of there.

"He's not coming back," Eli said.

"He is," Cece said, messing with his hair. "Just relax, maybe get a little sleep, okay?"

He didn't think he would be able to sleep, but he put on the little TV, flipped around until he landed on a Psych rerun he'd actually wanted to see. He was asleep in minutes.

TBC