Hello. Rating went up in this chapter. Duh. I don't want to make this all sex-based, but to show certain elements of trauma it's pretty necessary. So, TA-DAH! Enjoy Chapter Two?
At about two in the morning, Ravis received a call.
"Eduard?" He said, flipping at the phone open after briefly glancing at the caller ID.
"Hey." The voice on the other end said. "I couldn't sleep."
"Me neither." He said, smiling lightly. "I didn't think you'd call me back so quickly."
A loud thud could be heard from the other end. "Ed, what was that?" The shorter man asked.
"I'm staying at a hotel in your country since it takes a while to drive from Lithuania to Estonia." He answered. "The kids in the next room are having a party."
"A hotel? In Latvia?" Ravis yelled into the receiver, "How could you! Just come here! You can spend the night at my house!"
When Eduard arrived, he was situated into the guest room. "Good night, Ravis." He yelled down the hall. The tall blonde was about to get into bed when the Latvian's shaky voice stopped him. "E-Eduard?" He asked, standing in the doorway wearing his childish pajamas and holding a large blue pillow. "Can I sleep with you tonight? Like old times?" Eduard smiled and patted the place next to him. Ravis slipped under the covers as Eduard pulled on the lamp cord, to turning off the light.
When they were teenagers under Ivan's rule, four years ago, they often slept together. Ravis loved the feeling of being pressed into Eduard's chest, safe, and feeling his gentle breath in his ear. Eduard only felt comfortable knowing that he was close to Ravis, protecting him, instead of sitting against the other side of the wall when Ravis screamed and moaned for Ivan to stop. Today was no different; the fact that they were grown men didn't stop Eduard from kissing the Latvian's forehead. Their stable breathing, the warmth of the covers, Eduard's arm around the smaller male, cuddling and protecting one another were all so familiar. Then, a knee between Eduard's legs, small hands on his waist, Ravis's tongue in his navel- something buried deep in the back Eduard's memory, recovered again.
"Ravis!" He exclaimed, wriggling out of his grip. "What are you doing?"
Ravis crawled on top of his guest, in between his legs. "Touch me, Eduard." He whimpered. "Touch me."
"Stop it!" Eduard yelled, pushing the Latvian off of him. "You don't know what you're doing!"
"I'll let you do whatever you want to me…" Ravis said, desperately trying to persuade the older man.
Déjà vu, Eduard though, recalling the day of Toris's 17th birthday, when Ravis crawled on top of the oldest Baltic Nation, pressing his pelvis into Eduard's , whispering: "…Please Eduard, I'll let you do anything to me." Russia had taken Toris out of the house, so it was certain they'd return the next morning, Toris worn out and sore. There was nobody there. No one would know. Giving in to temptation, Eduard slipped his hand in between the boy's legs, looking to pleasure him, and Ravis started to whimper. Eduard had taken it as a sign of encouragement and the proceeded to suck on the small Latvian's neck, when suddenly, Ravis screamed. Not a scream of pleasure, but a frightened and violated scream, the type that shook the house every other night. The Estonian locked himself in the bathroom for the rest of the day, guilt overwhelming him and regrets tingling in his arms.
"No, Ravis!" he yelled again.
"But you want to don't you?" A childish voice escaped the younger man's lips.
Yes. Eduard thought. Of course he wanted to; he'd been in love with Ravis for years, once even kissing him on the lips when they were freed from Russian control. Yes. He thought. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Eduard grabbed his face and kissed him until neither of them could breathe. The bed became a mess of arms and legs. "Eduard." Ravis breathed, fumbling clumsily with the buttons on his own pajama top. Kissing down his neck, he could feel Ravis shudder: repetitive, unorganized and quick breaths. "Eduard." He said again. "Mhn?" Eduard managed to say.
"Put my hands above my head." Ravis said through lust-filled eyes.
"What?" Eduard asked, an old memory filling his head, that one time he almost had sex with Ivan, Ivan's hand around his wrists, holding his hands up above his head and against the wall so that he couldn't move them.
"Please." The curly-haired man begged.
Eduard complied, and began to thrust into him. Ravis yelped and moaned, demanding him for more and begging him to stop. Then Eduard saw it. Ravis's face, flushed and tear-stained mouthing "No." over and over. Eduard thought of Ivan. What a sick bastard. He though, Does he get off on this? , as he pulled out of the younger man. Ravis was breathing heavily, and he curled up into a ball, naked. "Ravis." Eduard said softly, reaching out to touch his arm. "I'm so sorry." He said. "I'm so sorry."
"Hug me." Ravis said, "Make me feel better." Eduard cautiously pulled him into his arms, feeling responsible. But this time, the boy's small, nude shoulders didn't make him feel safe. He felt he had crossed some sort of line, broken a rule and enjoyed it. He wondered if Ivan felt the same way, during the four years when he'd changed all of their lives for the worse, when he skewed the then fifteen year old Latvian's view of the world, robbing him of his childhood, tainting him, changing him forever.
Eduard held him tighter, wishing he'd never have to let go.