Mohawks and Manliness

Chapter 2

"I feel so bad."

"You feel bad? Or you feel like you are bad?"

"Like I am bad," Mirajane said as Laxus rested his forehead against hers, a devilish grin playing at his lips. "About doing this."

"It's your break," he said simply, his hands resting on the woman's hips. "So take a break."

"It's my lunch break," she corrected. Mira was sitting a little further back on his lap and was more resting on her knees than anything else, giving her access to the front of his jeans. Moving to play with the zipper, she grinned at him. "And I'm not eating, am I?"

"You can eat me, baby."

"Gross."

"Only if you choke."

"Laxus."

"Your skin is so soft," he whispered as he stroked her white flesh gently. "Why do you have to wear those dresses all the time?"

"As oppose to what?"

"This," he said, nodding slightly. "Just like this."

"In my bra? You want me to walk around everyone else in-"

"Only second thought," he breathed as he shifted slightly to press his face against her neck. "Hell no."

"Mmmm," she moaned, smiling still as she felt his hands creep up her back to mess with her bra. "Thought so. Lax."

"Damn, you get me so hot."

"I know, dragon."

"No." He kissed her shoulder then. "You don't."

And just as she was sliding her bra off, Laxus heard it.

"The fuck?" he growled at the sound of someone knocking at the front door. "Are you serious?"

"I only have a little while," she said, as he just glared over at the bedroom door, as if the person outside the apartment could feel it. "You know that. Come on, Lax."

"Believe me, baby," he said, looking back at her. "I am."

And he tried to. He really did. But the banging didn't stop. And not the kind that he was trying to get going with the demon either.

"I'm gonna kill them."

"Lax," Mira complained as he left her behind. He'd managed to get out of his shirt already, but luckily still had his jeans on, so he didn't have to worry about pulling anything on. Just rushed from the room with a growl. "Hurry back."

"I will, demon," he grumbled. "I definitely will."

Out of the room Laxus rushed right through the apartment and went to fling the door open.

"What the fuck do you- Lisanna?"

She just stood there though, glaring heavily at him. "I hope you're happy, Laxus."

"Considering you just ruined me fucking the hell out of the demon? No. Not one bit." He growled. "You?"

"Ew, gross. Mira! Are you here?"

"Hey, kid," Laxus grumbled as she shoved passed. "Did you hear anyone invite you in?"

"I'm not a kid," Lisanna told him as she just continued on into the apartment. "I'm mad at you right now."

"And that's all fine and dandy, but there is no blood going to my brain right now to of any use to you at all," he told her. "So-"

"Were you the one that told Bickslow to try to…out man Elfman or whatever stupid thing he's cooked up?"

"No. I don't know." Did he? "I mean, the loser was over here yesterday, ruining my date and whatnot, but-"

"What's going on?"

"Damn it, demon," Laxus grumbled as she joined them then, wearing only a pair of panties and the shirt he'd left behind, hardly any of the buttons done up. She must have heard her sister's call. "I said to wait-"

"Laxus has convinced Elfman and Bickslow to kill one another and-"

"Is it just in you Strausses to stretch the truth? Something I should worry about passing onto me and the demon's children?" Laxus grumbled. "I mean, seriously?"

That took the worry out off Mira's look as she glanced at him then. "Aw, Laxus. You wanna have babies with me?"

"Well, I was just guessing that you did-"

"Lots!"

"-and I wouldn't want you having them with someone- Lots?"

"Lots."

"Define lots."

"Well-"

"Would you two focus?" Lisanna complained making her sister giggle and Laxus shoot her a look. "I kinda came here for a reason, you know."

"No, I don't know," Laxus said. "But I do know that this dragon was about to bust a nut and, trust me, kid, you don't wanna be around to see that."

"Laxus," Mira groaned as Lisanna' paled.

"Ew, ew, ew," she said, turning to rush right back out of the apartment. "I'm done. So done. I-"

"Lisanna, just tell me what's wrong," her sister sighed as Laxus, annoyed now, went to go stand with his girlfriend. "Quickly."

"Bickslow showed up at me and Elf's practice," the woman said. "And-"

"Yeah, I know," Mira said with a frown. "I sent him, after all. What? Did something happen?"

"He tried to spar with Elfman," the girl said. "And Elf, like, obliterated him."

"Oh," Mira said with a blink as Laxus just frowned.

"Bickslow got his ass kicked by Elfboy?" Snort. "I'mma have to demote that idiot. Be my bodyguard and you can't even stop damn Elfboy."

"He didn't have his dolls, okay?" Lisanna complained. "He was just trying to beat him on brute strength alone."

"Well, that's stupid," Laxus went on. "I can't have someone stupid guarding me, can I?"

"Maybe if you didn't have your head up your own ass so much, you wouldn't need anyone guarding-"

"Would you two stop it?" Mirajane gave them both a frown. "Did Elfman hurt him, Lisanna?"

"Well, no, not really. Bickslow sure thought he did though."

"He does have a thing for dramatics," Laxus remarked. "Almost as much as Freed."

Mira just frowned. "Well, what do you want from us then, Lisanna? I mean-"

"I want you to tell your boyfriend to stop giving my boyfriend bad advice."

"I-"

"I didn't give him bad advice, Lisanna," the man growled then, glaring at her. "I told him that if he wanted to impress your brother, then he had to prove himself. And how does one man prove himself to another?"

"Laxus," Mira hissed. "Honestly."

"What? I just meant fighting."

"Oh."

"What did you think I meant?"

"Well-"

"Would you two pay attention?" Lisanna complained. "The point is that you're going to get Bickslow killed."

"I am not," the man told her with a frown. "You said that they already fought, right? Well, now Bickslow lost and it's over, huh?"

"Wrong," she said with a frown. "Now he's decided that tonight, he and Elfman are going to have a real fight."

"Great." Laxus clapped his hands together. "Something fun to do today. My money's on Bickslow."

"Well, don't count Elf out so easily," Mirajane sang. "I mean, he did beat him sparring."

"Yeah, sparring. Clearly, Bickslow's going to pull out all the stops, use his little seith magic and bam! He beats your little manly brother."

"Elfman is not going to be that easy to take down though, Laxus," his girlfriend kept up. "You always count him out."

"Of course I do. He's an idiot."

"Well, when that idiot beats your seith-"

"Bet."

"I am betting. Right now. I-"

"This isn't a good thing," Lisanna interrupted both of them. "Or are you guys not getting what I am?"

"Apparently not," Laxus retorted. "So why don't you just tell us what your problem with this is?"

"When Elfman beats Bickslow-"

"Why do you both insist that this is just the automatic conclusion?"

"-he's going to get all discouraged and stuff," she went on. "Not to mention, Elfman's already annoying about the whole thing. If he beats Bickslow in an actual fight and neither of them can dispute it, then-"

"Lisanna," Laxus groaned then, shaking his head. "The guild hasn't had a good fight in a long time. I'm sure they've already all told everyone. This is gonna happen. And it's gonna be epic to watch your dumbass brother get knocked flat on his ass."

"No cursing," Mira ordered with a frown. "And no talking bad about Elf."

"You guys-"

'He's right though, Lisanna," the other woman went on. "This is the way that we settle things. You know that. And, when Bickslow loses-"

"Ha, woman. What world do you live in?"

"-it'll be a good learning experience for him."

"So what?" Lisanna asked then. "I'm just supposed to let them act stupid over me?"

"This is bigger than you," Laxus explained. "This is about pride now. And neither of them are backing down. It's gonna be an epic fight. One for the ages."

"Are you serious?" Mira asked, glancing up at him. He just shrugged.

"I really just want this conversation over so we can get back to what we were doing."

Glaring at both of them, Lisanna said, "You two suck. You're supposed to be guiding all of us, but all you ever want to do is screw anymore."

"I guide you and Elf very well."

"And I've always just wanted to fuck the demon," Laxus told her. "End game since the beginning. So…bye."

"Laxus-"

"I'll be down at the bar later," Mirajane told her sister. "I mean, I have to. I gotta see my bet pay off."

"What was your price anyhow?" Laxus asked, glancing down at her.

"Mmmm, I dunno. What's yours?"

Leaning down, he whispered something in her ear that made her bat at his chest and Lisanna look on with disgust.

"Okay," the younger Strauss said then. "I'm leaving. You guys win. You've creeped me out."

"Finally," Laxus groaned as she left the apartment, leaving him alone with his demon. "I thought she'd never get outta here."

"You could have been a tad bit more kind to her, you know. That is my sister."

Grunt. "Don't wanna talk about her anymore."

"Laxus," she complained as he moved to get those pesky buttons undone once more. If it wasn't one of his favorite shirts, he would have just ripped it right off her. "Behave."

"I don't wanna behave," he told her, slipping the shirt right off her when he finished with the buttons. "I wanna get so bad, demon. Fuck. It's been how long now?"

Mentioning time wasn't the smartest move on Laxus' part as, suddenly, the current amount that had passed since she'd left the guildhall came back to Mirajane.

"Oh, Laxus," she said, pushing his hands away before turning to run off for the bedroom. At first, he thought this was a good thing, as she was clearly feeling it too, before he realized that wasn't her intent. She didn't sound turned on. She sounded worried. "I have to go."

"You have to what?" He'd followed her and was frowning as she took to getting dressed. "Demon-"

"Look at the clock," she said, pointing to the one on his bedside table. "I have to get back."

"No. Mira, I'm…no. You can't. Let's just-"

"No, Laxus. I'm sorry."

"But-"

"Go look at one of your dirty magazines or something," she said dismissively as she slipped back into her dress.

"Demon," he grumbled, but to no avail. She wasn't interested, apparently.

"Zip me up," she said, going to stand before him. "Hurry, dragon."

"Mira-"

"What do you want from me, Laxus? I have to go. I'm sorry. Really."

"This isn't fair. Demon, I want-"

"I know. Maybe tonight, huh?" Then she winked as, once he'd zipped her dress, she turned around to look at him. "If you win your bet, that is."

He wasn't smiling. Not even as he walked her to the front door and kissed her goodbye.

Damn Lisanna. Damn her.

"This isn't fair," Natsu complained to Lucy as they all gathered around to watch the fight. "Why can't I get involved? Huh? I wanna fight for Lisanna too."

"Is that what we're doing?" she asked softly. "That makes sense, I guess."

"It's because Bickslow loves Lisanna," Happy sang as he floated around their heads, also pumped for the fight. "Isn't it great?"

"No," Natsu grumbled, still glaring across the little crowd of Fairy Tail members that had gathered around. "Not unless I get a chance to fight. This is a force."

"A for...farce, Natsu," Lucy corrected with a sigh. "This is a farce."

"I'm glad you think so too."

"No, I-"

"Lucy," Happy complained. "How could you?"

"I didn't!"

Across the gathered crowd stood Lisanna, who was with her boyfriend, watching as he bounced around, stretching out before his match. His babies were floating around too, singing their praises of their father. His girlfriend, however, was annoyed as she'd been from the beginning.

"I don't get why you guys have to fight," Lisanna complained as Bickslow threw a few practice punches, as well as jumped around a bit. "I mean, what's the point of that?"

"Uh, gee, Lisanna," he grumbled, "if you don't get it yet, I'mma go out on a limb and say you never will."

"This is stupid though," she complained. "This-"

"Look," he grumbled, nodding over at where Laxus was, arms crossed over his chest as he stood with his demon. That just so happened to be with Elfman, but the seith wasn't holding it against him. He was just standing with his woman. That was all. "The boss is over there, yeah? Watching? So I got a lot riding on this. It's not just about proving what a man I am to your brother-"

"I don't get why it matters what Elfman thinks," she said. "Short of you being just like him, he's not going to think that you're a man. Really, the list of people he considers a man is very short and, honestly, contains a lot of women, which is kinda weird-"

"Lissy, I'm doing this, alright?" He rolled his shoulders then. "Me and the babies, we made the challenge, so now we gotta follow through. It's just the way it goes."

"Do what you want," she sighed, even rolling her eyes slightly. "I just think that this is stupid. That's all."

"Most of the things I do are stupid," he pointed out. "Asking you out after Laxus told me not to was stupid. Taking in lost souls was stupid. Trekking around after my parents were dead instead of sticking to the home I knew was stupid. I'm stupid. But it always works out for me in the end. Hasn't it?"

Still, she just shook her head. "You're not allowed to possess my brother."

"What? Lissy-"

"No. You're not."

"It's how I fight."

"Too bad."

"I'm gonna do it now, just 'cause you told me not to. And you knew that before you said it, didn't you?"

"He won't fall for it anyways. He would look you in the eyes."

"Everyone says that," he told her as he pushed up his visor, just so he could look her in hers. "They think that's the trick or something. Like that's possible. But see, the trick is, once they know they can't do it, that if they do, something bad will happen, it's compulsion. They don't want to do it, but they have to. So they do. And then I win. Especially one on one. So I have this in the bag. And I always will against your brother. I win, Lissy. That's just how it is."

Still, across the crowd, Laxus was starting to have his doubts.

"That little prick better get the job done," he grumbled softly to himself. "Got the demon riding on this."

At the moment, Mirajane was more focused on explaining to Elfman that, though he might not think of Bickslow as a man nor worthy of their little sister, hurting him would not work.

"It's something weird about women," she said with a shrug of her shoulders. "We love to nurse things back to the heath."

"Well, I damn sure ain't blowing it just to keep Lisanna from getting more attached to him or something silly like that," Elfman grumbled as he cracked his knuckles. "He challenged my manliness! And I don't let that go easily."

Laxus only sighed. "Look, big guy, I don't completely hate you, so I'm gonna level with you here; you stand no chance. Size does not matter. Today, I mean. In this instance. He's going to use his babies to distract you, possess you, and then make you just harm yourself. Or something similar to that. So what possible plan of attack could you have? Huh? Gonna squash him? Is that it? Is that what your pea sized brain came up with?"

"Dragon," Mirajane warned with a frown. He just ignored her though, continuing to stare at her younger brother.

With a shrug, the man didn't say much. Just, "I'm gonna teach him what it means to be a man!"

Which made Laxus roll his eyes and Mirajane sigh.

How exactly did anyone expect them to guide the others when they were constantly given crap like that to work with? Honestly?

"You can't honestly think that lanky little Bickslow's going to beat him, can you?" Mirajane whispered to Laxus as Elfman walked away from them and to the center of the crowd. "Dragon? Tell me that you're just saying that out of loyalty or something."

"I was going to ask the same thing of you," he told her simply. "I mean, you're picking goofy Elfman over Bickslow why, exactly?"

"Well, goofy isn't really a good description here, since they both fall into that category in one way or another," she pointed out. "So-"

"Yeah, but demon, you aren't just rooting for him off size, are you?" Laxus gave her a look for that. "You hide it well, but you aren't exactly a battle novice here."

"Not at all."

"Then you should know that brute strength is equal if not easily beaten by speed and nimbleness."

"It can be, yes," she said slowly. "But Bickslow isn't that tiny. And he doesn't really rely on hand-to-hand combat. He works better from afar, manipulating his dolls to do his bidding for him. If Elf just gets in one good hit, preferably with one of his animal souls, then he has Bickslow. It'll be over."

"But Bickslow not just going to stand there and let him do that," Laxus argued. "That's where the speed comes in. He's going to dodge, use the babies to attack and distract Elfman, and then go from there. Probably even scale a wall or two. And Elfman has no defense against that. He has no way to attack that. Bickslow has flight, if he uses the babies, he's nimble, he has all those little acrobatic tricks, and, if all else fells, he has possession. Bickslow, hands down, has this."

"A lot of people count Elfman out," Mirajane said simply. "And a lot of people are wrong. They always have been."

Snort. Then, "Alright, demon. You stick to your guns on this one."

"I am."

"But when you're holding up to your end of the bet tonight, I don't wanna hear nothing about how tired you are or how you hate doing it."

"I do hate it," she agreed. "You think that'd be a bit of a turn off for you."

"Not in the slightest."

"And hey," she said, glancing up at him then. "We never talked about what I get if I win."

"Well, you won't, so-"

"Lax."

"What do you want, demon? Or is it too dirty to say?"

That got him a slight hit. Then she said, "I just want us to go out on a date."

"Yes! That's what I've been asking for since-"

"Not just us, Lax."

"Oh no."

Nodding, she said, "I want it to be me, you, Lisanna, Elf, Bickslow, and Ever. And Freed too if he can find a date. Or if not. I'm not too picky. I just-"

"Mira," he groaned. "Stopped trying to make this happen."

"Trying to make what happen?"

"Us be some sort of…family or whatever," he grumbled. "You have your siblings and I have my followers. Sure, they're all intermingled, but that's separately. What don't you get about that? There's me and you. There's Elfman and Evergreen. Then there's, for now, Bickslow and Lisanna. And Freed, all by himself. There is no Strauss…Thunder Legion…thing. There's just not."

"Oh, there is, Laxus," she told him with a definite nod. "And it's called Thunder Strauss Tribe by the way."

He about choked. "No, it's not."

"Is too."

"…Have you thought about this a lot or-"

"Actually, yes," she said with a nod. "Obviously, me and you are at the head of it."

"I'm at the head, but go ahead."

"No," she said with a shake of her head. "We're at the top together. If not me ahead of you."

Snort. "How do you figure?"

"I control you, of course."

"Excuse me?" He even uncrossed his arms for that, turning to glance down at him. "Demon?"

"You heard me."

"You do not-"

"Behave."

"Mira-"

"I mean it, dragon."

Narrowing his eyes then, he said, "Fine. Whatever. Get back to your point."

"Right," she said with a nod. "So there's me and you. Then there's, obviously, Freed."

"Freed's after us how exactly?"

"Because," she said with a slight shrug. "He controls Ever and Bickslow. He's their leader already. And he's older than Lisanna and Elfman and also more knowledgeable about most things. They don't have much to do with him, but ultimately, they'd bow to him."

"Bow to him? What are we know? Kings and knights and shit?"

"No cursing," she said which made him glare again. "After Freed is Ever. Then Elf."

"Why aren't they together? Like you and me?"

That got him a look. "Honestly? I mean, you see the way she treats Elfman. He rebels sometimes, but ultimately she has him. It's just the way it is."

"Right." Another snort. "So what? You think that you women just have all us guys under your thumb?"

"No," she said, making a face at the accusation. "Bickslow definitely out ranks Lisanna."

"Really now?"

"I mean come on, Laxus. She thinks she's in love with him." Then, in a softer tone, she said, "And this is her first actually boyfriend. A way older one at that. Bickslow has her under his, well, spell. He has since they first started dating."

"Bet your sister would love to hear how you put that."

"Oh, she knows. She might not admit it, but inwardly she knows everything I just said is true. All of them would, if they heard me say it."

Rolling his eyes, Laxus said, "Fine. So there are the rankings to this totally made up-"

"It's not made up, Laxus. It's a thing. You can fight it, you can hate it, but it's a thing. Get over it."

"Still don't change the fact that we're not going on this little double…triple…date thing that may or may not include Freed."

"Thunder Strauss Tribe outing."

"You're so weird," he said, finally having to chuckle, if only slightly. His silly, odd little demon. "Bickslow's gonna win though and then you're gonna have to-"

"I know what I'll have to do," she said. "If that happened. But it won't, so-"

"Oh, you'd be surprised."

They all would. As, just then, everyone fell silent.

It was starting.

Bickslow wasn't playing around either. Almost immediately he called out for his babies to form the Baryon Formation, the dolls circling tightly around one another before shooting a strong beam at Elfman. It was easy enough for him to dodge, the green light leaving a scorch mark on the building behind him, those gathered around having just avoided becoming part of the action by diving away.

"Pulling out all the stops, huh?" Elfman was pumped just from that. "Like a real man!"

Bickslow wasn't playing though. The man had shown him up earlier, but there was no way that things were going down that way again.

"Well," the larger man said as the dolls, not receiving much instruction, took to just shooting tiny blasts at him as they floated around. They seemed irrelevant to Elfman as he said simply, "I guess that means I should too!"

"See, Laxus?" Mirajane prompted, elbowing him then as Elfman transformed into his Weretiger takeover. "Speed. Now he has that. And strength. And-"

"Speed?" That one got another snort. "Hardly. He's faster than usual, fine, but when you put him up against Bickslow, it's nothing. He's agile as a mouse. Big and chunky over there however-"

"Where'd you go?" came a growl then from then transformed Elfman. He'd only blinked, but suddenly, Bickslow was nowhere in sight. His babies were still in reach, but the seith himself was nowhere to be found. "Coward! A man doesn't run from his opponents!"

"Ain't no one running from anyone," came the reply from above. When Elfman turned his head up, he saw the man there, perched on the roof of one of the buildings. Waving down at him, he said, "It's not my fault that you're not man enough to come up here and get me!"

"How did he do that?" Mirajane whispered to Laxus, apparently having lost the seith too for a moment.

"I told you, Mirajane, he can do anything."

"Laxus-"

"He can balance on the babies," he said with a shrug. He hadn't been paying too much attention either. "Two of them probably flew him up there as Elfman was too busy talking about how much of a man he is."

"I could go up there and knock him around some," Natsu was complaining to Lucy about them. "But no. They won't let me fight. How unfair is that?"

"You couldn't," Lucy said. "Happy could take you, but-"

"Yeah, me and Hap are a team, Luce," he complained. "Duh."

"Yeah, Lucy," Happy agreed. "Duh."

"Right," she said with an eye roll. "Silly me."

"Get down here!" Elfman growled as Bickslow's dolls only cackled, floating around him. "A real man would stand and fight."

"Yeah? Why's that?" the seith hollered down to him. "Because that's the way that you would do something? Na-ah. If I'mma fight, then it's gonna be on my terms. And if I'm more comfortable doing it this way, then that's the way I'm doing it!"

"That's fine! As long as you're not worried about being a man!"

"I am a man! I- Uh-oh."

"Uh-oh?" Elfman repeated before glancing around. "Wha- Oh."

He saw then, what the other guy was so concerned with. It was actually two people. Two very ticked off people, who happened to be pushing their way through the small throng of other members that had gathered.

"Bickslow," came the loud, booming call of Freed. "Do you know what time it is?"

"Uh…well…I don't own a watch, but-"

"We had," the green haired man growled as he pushed forwards, to glare up at the building, "a training session planned. But for some reason, Evergreen and I have spent the past hour and a half without you!"

"What are you doing?" Ever literally walked into the center of the pack and right over to Elfman. "Who are you fighting?"

"Evergreen," he growled, glaring at her. "I'm trying to have a battle here!"

"He and Bickslow are having it out, yeah?" Natsu called out from where he was punching at the air. "For Lisanna!"

"And manliness," Elfman agreed, pumping his own, furry fist. Ever just made a face before looking back up at the building.

"Bickslow, get down here," she called. "Now."

"No way! I'm busy. Babies, get back to shooting him," he grumbled, the dolls thrilled by the idea and taking immediately to doing so, almost getting Ever a few times who glared up at their master.

"This fight's going nowhere fast," Mirajane whispered to Laxus who was glaring then at the lot of them. "Is it?"

"What," he growled, moving to walk over to Elfman and Ever as well, "are you idiots doing? I have something very important riding on Elfboy here getting his ass handed to him, so, Ever, if you would kindly screw off-"

"What crawled up your butt?" Elfman grumbled as he glanced at him.

"I do not understand this." Freed was still looking up at the roof, watching Bickslow. "Are you going to jump or something?"

"No! I'm fighting!"

"That would make things a lot more interesting at least," Ever sighed.

"Come down here, Bickslow," Laxus growled. "Now! And kick his ass! I have not had any decent time with my demon in forever! So come down here and make it happen!"

"Oh, geez, boss, I'm sorry, but I'm not really into threesomes or what have you. And me and Lissy are really-"

"What? I didn't say anything like that! You-"

"Could you guys just all stop now?" Lisanna was coming over to then. "Bickslow, come down. You and Elfman clearly aren't going to fight."

"What are you talking about, Lisanna?" Elfman asked. "I'm roaring for a fight!"

"Well roar with a breath mint there, tiger," Ever remarked. "I thought we talked about better hygiene?"

"Woman, I am in the middle of a battle! Leave me alone!"

"Would you just get back to fighting?" Laxus complained. "I-"

"Still, I do not understand what this will prove," Freed remarked as Bickslow called some of his babies back to him. "Fighting? Honestly? To prove manhood? Surely in this day and age, you do not think such things prove anything. Mirajane beat me in a fight. Is she more of a man than I?"

"Of course," Elfman said. "I thought that was obvious."

"Freed's a different kind of man," Ever responded slowly. "And I think he has a point. You guys are only proving one side of manliness. And, really, fighting isn't that manly."

"It's not?" Elfman, with a frown, dropped his arms. "That's a bold face lie!"

"Call me a liar again, Elfman, and you will have a fight on your hands."

"Arg!" Natsu growled from the crowd. "This is killing me! Someone fight!"

And then, because he honestly couldn't take it anymore, he came running full speed at Elfman, trying to tackle the other man to the ground. The other man held his ground well though and just tossed Natsu from him, the slayer tumbling back into the other.

Laxus didn't like that. At all.

"Get out of here, Salamander," he growled. "This has nothing to do with you!"

"Oh, no," he said with a shake of his head as he righted himself. "I can't help myself now. I'm all fired up. Come here, Elfman!"

"Is the Salamander a man then?" Freed wasn't finished, apparently, with his reflection. "He has won many battles. But a man? Hardly. Now Laxus, he embodies every thing a man-"

"Don't get weird," the guy in question requested before looking up at Bickslow. "Get down here and beat both the Salamander and Elfman! That's an order!"

"Yes, boss," he sighed.

"Oh, no, Laxus." Mira was coming over as well then as her sister gave her a pleading look to just stop all of them. "Natsu was not part of the deal."

"What?"

"He interfered and attacked Elfman," she said. "Which would benefit Bickslow. That's cheating."

"The hell are you getting this made up, bullshit rules from? Huh?"

"No cursing, dragon."

"Mira-"

"I mean it."

The crowd was dispersing then as it became increasingly clear that there was no real battle to be had, only more of Natsu and his annoying habit of getting in minor tussles with anyone and everyone.

"You're not going to trick me, Mirajane," Laxus said with a frown as he glared down at her. "You lose."

"In what way?"

"Elfman is the one that's fighting, willingly mind you, Natsu. Which means that Bickslow has been unfairly left out." Crossing his arms victoriously then, Laxus said perhaps a tad too loudly, "So get the lube and the hell over it. Tonight is the nigh- The fuck, demon?"

She'd slapped him. Rather hard too. In the face.

Lisanna took to glaring at him too. "Too far, Laxus."

"You strike me again, demon and- Where are you- Damn it, guys," Laxus growled as Mirajane walked off, no doubt back to the guild hall. Elfman and Natsu had stopped wrestling, if only for a moment, more or less in shock at what Mira had done. "You all had one job. One job! Fight one another. You dumbasses do it everyday! But today? The one day that I want you to? You clown around and get nothing accomplished. Nothing. What part of me outranking you all don't you get? You have to do what I say!"

And then, with another growl, Laxus headed off in the opposite direction of Mirajane.

"Oy," Bickslow remarked as, with the help of the babies, he came to touch down on the ground. "What did the boss mean? Outranking us?"

"Perhaps his S-Class status?" Freed suggested as he stared in shock "I do not know any other way that we could possibly be ranked. And it is not like him to blow up in such a way. He usually is so composed with his anger."

Lisanna just threw her arms around Bickslow. "I'm so glad you're so good at hiding."

"I wasn't hiding, Lisanna," he complained as she kissed his cheek. "I was strategizing!"

"I should go speak with Laxus," Freed said slowly. "Clearly something is wrong."

"I think," Ever remarked as Elfman and Natsu got back to fighting, Happy flying over to watch, "that he's just…well…you know."

"I know?"

"He made it pretty clear," Lisanna agreed. "That's why Mirajane got so mad at him."

"Well, it's not like they're ever subtle," Freed said with a frown.

"I still have no idea what we're talking about," Bickslow said before glancing over at Elfman. "Hey! You're not supposed to be fighting him. What? Are you not man enough to fight with me then? Huh?"

"I have already stated that if we are determining manliness, this is not the way," Freed told him, though it was clear that his mind was elsewhere. Namely, on Laxus. But that was where it usually was, anyhow. "I know many true, unbiased ways to prove such a thing."

"Why exactly do we need to prove manliness again?" Ever asked. "I mean, honestly, at this point I feel like I've tired of the word."

"Because Elfman doesn't think I'm a man," Bickslow said before yelling at the guy, who was still fighting with Natsu, "But I am one!"

"He seems a tad indisposed at the moment," Freed said. "Though, after I go find and check on Laxus, I assure you, I will have many ways in which for the two of you to prove your manliness. You-"

"Uh, no offense, Freed," Lisanna spoke up. "But if you're going to, you know, tell us about how manly…you are? And prove it in ways that you would be manly? Because I don't think that's what Elf would exactly consider manly."

Elfman, who at the moment had Natsu pinned to the ground, glanced over at them. "Oh, no. Freed is just like me. We've talked about it many times. He appreciates men the same way I do!"

Ever let out a long sigh. "Oh, Elf."

"It's true," he insisted. "Tell them, Freed. We've talked about how- Hey! Natsu! I'm talking here!"

"And I," the Salamander growled as he punched the man over him in the face, "am trying to have a fight!"

"So was I!" Bickslow insisted. "I-"

"You weren't fighting," Elfman said as he got off Natsu, though it was because he was changing out of his transformation once more and back to his normal state. With it just being one of their usual scuffles, he was more comfortable with doing it that way. The pink haired man tried to use this to his advantage, but Elfman just slugged him the second he got to his feet as well.

"I was fighting," Bickslow argued. "Just not the way you were."

"There in lies the problem," Freed told them. "You both have a different fighting style. Just like you have different ways in which you are men. To compare the two is asinine. You are both men and do not out…man one another in anyway."

Elfman, who was dealing with Natsu once more, and Bickslow, who was just standing there, both gave him a look.

"No, I'm definitely more of a man."

"I was never saying I was more of one than you," the seith argued. "Just that I am one to begin with!"

"Hardly."

"Obviously, none of you want my help." Freed was finished with them then and, with a shake of his head, he took to walking off. "I must go check on Lax-"

"Uh, Freed." Ever was quick to follow. "We were training, remember? And had come to get Bicks-"

"There is no time for that, Evergreen! Laxus is in need of me."

"Laxus is in need of Mirajane, but you never have quite got that, have you?"

As they walked off and Natsu and Elfman's battle brewed on, Lisanna was left with her boyfriend.

"So what?" she asked as he just glared at Elfman. "Are you going to jump in or-"

"And what? Have him say that I had to have the damn Salamander help me out?"

"Bickslow, I really don't think-"

"There's gotta be another way," he growled before stalking off, her following. "Another test to prove myself to him. And I'll figure it out. Don't you worry."

"Uh, considering I've told you flat out that I want nothing to do with this and really don't care about whatever stupid thing you and my brother have going on-"

"More thinking, Lissy, and less talking!"

Ugh. Being the lowest rank was horrible. Especially when you didn't even realize you were.

I had a plan for this chapter and then, well, I started writing more and more with Mirajane and Laxus and the plan went out the window. Oh well. I guess I'm just more into the two of them right now.