"Ana."
I stand up hearing my name called, smoothing my dress down and grabbing my bag. I glance down at Christian; he's still fixed to the chair. I hold my hand out to him, encouraging him to stand.
"Baby, it's time." I smile at him. His brow lowers and his face drops slightly, his lips pressing into a hard line.
After a few seconds he stands, taking my hand.
"I'm sorry. I'm just a little nervous." He whispers into my ear as he pulls me close to him. I breathe in his smell, the mix of body wash and Christian.
"I know. I'm nervous too. Come on, let's go." I look up at him, planting a gentle kiss on his cheek before leading him into the doctor's office.
As we enter, I see a nurse setting a gown on the bed and pulling the sonogram machine towards the chair positioned at the end of the bed, near the stirrups.
"Mrs Grey?" She looks over at me, after checking the forms in her hand.
"Yes." I whisper back at her. Being in the room, seeing the equipment, smelling the disinfectant, it all brings my nerves to the point of breakdown. I feel Christian's fingers lock between mine, squeezing. I glance up at him through my lashes, he smiles, comforting me. We're in this together.
"Okay, Mrs Grey. I'll need you to change into this gown and get up on the bed. Dr Greene will be in to see you shortly." I smile nervously at her. She makes her way out of the room. She's an older woman, maybe late fifties. She has a New York accent and smells of perfume and cigarettes. Perfect smell for a health care professional.
I glance around at the posters on the walls. Posters of what happens during birth, how my body is going to change and posters of small babies. They really do make me feel worse. I lean down, putting my bag on the floor, and pick up the gown. I turn to head to the en-suite, and catch Christian in the corner of my eye. He's examining the posters I was looking at before, no doubt he'll be panicking inside; they really are quite scary and daunting. What have we got ourselves into?
Emerging from the bathroom I pull the gown around myself, closing the open back. I steadily climb up onto the bed, sliding down slightly in preparation for the examination. Glancing over to Christian, who's seated beside me, I notice he's messing around on his BlackBerry. His brow furrows; he looks a bit angry over something.
"Christian…" I looks up straight away, that looks still etched on his face. "Baby, is something wrong?" I'm starting to worry now.
"It's nothing." He presses a few more keys before shoving it into his trouser pocket.
"Baby, tell me what's up." I whisper to him as he grabs my hand, pulling it to his mouth.
"It's nothing for you to worry about. I promise." I smiles, though it doesn't reach his eyes. He's hiding something from me. He's always hiding things from you.
I want to press him more but with perfect timing Dr Greene enters.
She's quick with her examination, noting how uncomfortable Christian is. He squeezes my hand every time she touches me; aren't I the one who's supposed to be squeezing his hand? With the all clear she moves onto the scan. I look over to Christian as she sets up the scanner. His eyes widen when he sees the probe. Yes, I've been here before, I know exactly where that goes.
"Ready, Ana. Remember, it's a transvaginal scan just like last time?"
"Sure, go ahead." I reply gingerly; this isn't the most pleasant of experiences.
Squeezing onto his hand as she inserts it, I try to steady my breath. It'll be over in a little while. I repeat to myself trying to detract my mind from the uncomfortable probing. Suck it up, my subconscious screams at me over her copy of Harpers Bazar, You got knocked up, take the consequences of your actions!
"There we go. Perfect shot."
Both Christian and I sit forward staring at the small screen, at the black, white and grey picture in front of us. There he is. He looks like a baby now. Baby Grey. I feel the tears begin to fall down my face.
"Would you like a copy?" Dr Greene smiles to us. She's got to be used to this by now.
"Can we have 8 copies please?" Christian speaks up. His voice is croaky and broken.
"Of course Mr Grey. Ana, if you'd like to get dressed, I'll grab those prints for you and book you in for your next scan."
She leaves us swiftly. Wow. It all seems so much more real now. I mean, I know I'm pregnant, and I know I have a baby growing inside me, but seeing him now, looking like a real baby and not a blob, the realisation hits me that in just six months he's going to be here, in my arms. It sort of frightens me. We have so much to plan: my maternity leave, we have the move to the new house coming up; we have to think about birthing plans and what we're going to do if I go into labour whilst on the interstate! A thousand things flit through my mind in the space of ten seconds, but whilst I'm scared, I'm also excited and over the moon knowing that we're going to be parents, we'll have made him. I'll have brought him into the world. He'll be ours.
"You know, he may be a girl." Christian tears me from my thoughts, reading my mind like he usually does.
"I know. I don't care. I just want Blip here. Now."
"I know baby, I do too. Seeing him puts everything into perspective. I love you so much, Ana." He leans forwards, holding my head in his hands, and kisses me furiously. I moan into his mouth, is it wrong to do this here, in the doctor's office?
Christian stands, trailing his hand down my body, skimming my breasts before setting his palm flat on my lower abdomen.
"And I love you too." He whispers to Blip. I've heard him in the mornings, whilst I'm pretending to be asleep, talking to Blip. I could burst into tears every time he does it. Christian is going to be an amazing father, I know he doubts himself from time to time, but I know he will. How can he not be?
"Are you going to stare at that forever?" I grin over to Christian; he's been holding the scan in his hand since we left the office, only letting it go whilst driving us to get something to eat.
"Just until he is here, then I'll be staring at him." He smirks, kisses the scan before placing it in his wallet. I roll my eyes at him, getting back into my food.
"I hope you didn't just roll your eyes at me?" I slowly raise my eye-line until I reach his; his eyebrow is raised in that sexy Christian way. Everything south of me quivers and clenches.
"Has Sir forgotten that I'm with child now?" I toy with the food on my fork, raising it to my lips, before wrapping my lips around it and sucking on the fork slightly.
"You think that'll stop me?"
"I know it won't. I quite like it though, especially what follows it." I smirk at him, deterring my gaze from him. I'm going to self-combust at any moment, as I feel those muscles tighten further. I know I'm ready for him, I can feel it. I squeeze my thighs and for a second imagine his tongue running along my thigh, reaching my sex. Licking, flicking and suckling.
"Mrs Grey, I do believe you're squirming." Ah, he knows.
"Well, maybe we should leave. I do believe we have already christened the R8 once before? I think it's time we did it again, don't you?"
"As much as I'd love to do that, you should finish your plate. I know what you get like when you're hungry. Hungry Ana isn't as delectable as 'I'm coming' Ana."
God, I feel a spasm and tightening flick through my stomach. My inner goddess is doing somersaults across the tables in the restaurant. I'm glad the tables in here are seated a fair distance away from one another, I can imagine Christian and I would put a few people off their dinner otherwise.
"All I seem to be doing these days is eating. I'm going to be the size of a house by the time Blip gets here." I look down at my stomach, checking that I haven't popped already. I can't imagine it'd be much longer before I'll be showing, what with the amount of food I've been packing away.
"I like that you're eating. I'd keep you pregnant every day of the rest of our lives if it means you'll eat properly."
"Well I can't exactly ignore my own personal alarm clock down here. He tells me when to eat and when to get up in the morning. Though, the wake-up call I can do without."
"Me too. I mean, Christ Ana, I love you, but hearing you retch first thing in the morning isn't exactly pleasant."
"Here's to hoping that's the last of it!" I raise my water to him before downing it.
Christian pays for dinner and we walk hand in hand back to the car. He opens the passenger door for me and I scowl at him as he closes it for me once I'm settled in. I really do love this car, it's my favourite car out of all the ones he has, and it's mine. It's my car and I've driven it a handful of times. The sooner this baby comes the better, hopefully then I'll get to drive again!
He slides into the driver's seat and pulls out of the parking bay. The sweet sounds of Coldplay flood the car. I was never partial to Coldplay before. I mean Kate loves them, and used to play them non-stop on a Saturday when we were in college. I used to wake up to them and fall asleep to them. I never grew to love them until Christian brought me my iPad, and composed a playlist for me which evidently included Coldplay. I now love them; their lyrics have pertinence in my life. Yesterday I started compiling a playlist for Blip. I read online that music stimulates baby in-utero, promoting movements and helps to calm them. I have no doubt that Baby Grey will love music, just as I have no doubt that Christian will insist on him learning an instrument.
Christian hums to the music as he drives towards home. I could sit here looking at him all day. He looks young; he looks his age right now – a carefree husband and father-to-be, not a stressed out billionaire, CEO of one of the top companies in the United States.
"So, the party tonight? Did you pick out the outfits?"
"Yes, I did. Mia sent over a rather questionable list of suggestions. I chose the most suitable."
"Is this a public party or a private family gathering?"
"Do you mean, is there going to be photographers?" he glances over raising his eyebrow.
"Yes."
"No, it's family, friends and a few acquaintances. Private, baby."
Thank God, I relax in my seat knowing that tonight isn't going to be a formal who-ha of smiling at photographers as they shove their ridiculous cameras in my face, yelling 'Mrs Grey, Mrs Grey!'
"So, what did you choose?"
"You'll have to wait and see. Always eager, Mrs Grey." I see his mouth rise into a smirk, but his eyes are fixated on the road ahead.
Putting his foot down on the gas we soon manoeuvre the traffic and get home, back to our apartment.
Both Christian and I stand a far distance away from one another in the elevator, knowing that elevators do something to people. I don't think Taylor would fall for the 'it stalled' excuse again, the last time he barely believed it, though I can't blame him, what with my flushed cheeks and just fucked hair. It's okay for Christian his hair always looks just fucked. That's because usually he is. I smile to myself, it's true Christian and I are like wild animals. If we had our own way, we'd be held up inside 24/7 spending every waking minute savouring one another. I like the idea of that.
The lift opens, and Taylor is dutifully awaiting our arrival. Taylor and Christian always have a brief meeting when we arrive home from work; a debrief of the days events.
"Mrs Grey." Taylor smiles at me as I walk through the foyer, making my way towards our bedroom.
"Ana, I'll be a little while. Your outfit is laid out of the bed, we're leaving in an hour." Christian calls to me as he steps into his office with Taylor.
"Okay."
As I step into the bedroom, dumping my bag on the floor near the dresser, I notice a dress bag on the bed. I walk over to it, intrigued as to what theme Mia has chosen for this evening. I don't recognise the name on the bag, it's not from Neimans. I grab the hanger and walk over to the bathroom, to rest it on the door frame. Slowly unzipping the bag I get a glimpse of my outfit for this evening. I stand back, shocked by what I've just seen. I am really wearing this?