Red and Blues of the Old Republic
Chapter 1: "Why Are We Here?"
The Reds entered a hallway on the large ship, evidently called the Endar Spire.
"For the Republic!"
And some idiot was shooting at them.
"Hey, dumbass! We're not with the silver idiots, so quit shooting at us!"
The idiot, a guy by the looks of things, looked at them.
"You're not Sith. Who are you?"
"We're the Reds. What the hell's a Sith?"
More silver guys showed up.
"Sith shock troopers!"
"Oh, those are Sith."
Sarge threw a plasma grenade at one, and it stuck to one of the Sith.
"What the shit? Oh, fuck!"
It exploded, killing every one of the Sith shock troopers.
The woman behind the man looked at the Reds.
"You...You're familiar to me. Who are you?"
"People call me Sarge. Who the Sam Hell are you?"
"Athena Grif, a SpecOps officer in the Republic Navy, and this is Trask. We need your help to save the commander of this mission, Bastila Shan."
"Great, we just got ourselves launched into another mission."
Simmons cocked his Battle Rifle.
"At least Sarge is enjoying himself."
The sounds of gunfire were heard from a few meters away.
Source of the gunfire
Church threw a grenade at the silver Sith troopers.
"SON OF A-"
The frag grenade killed the Sith trooper squad.
"Christ, these guys suck. Hell, I'm even hitting them with my gun!"
Then he saw a glint of red.
Red MJOLNIR Mk. VII armor.
Sarge entered Church's line of sight, and that was a bit of a mistake.
"Sarge, if that's you, you're dead."
"Church, we don't have time for this. If you want to kill me, try later. For now, we need to get the fuck out of here!"
The rest of the Reds appeared.
"Sister? What the hell are you doing here?"
"Don't ask me. I just work here!"
Then more Sith appeared.
"Shoot the bastards!"
Meanwhile
"This is Carth Onasi! The Sith have sent boarding parties to the deck you're on!"
The sound of loud bangs was heard over the commlink.
"No shit, you cockbiting fucktard!"
Back with the Blood Gulchers
Sarge dumped 7.62mm rounds into the silver plated morons.
Church fired off a full four rounds into them getting four kills.
"Has anyone noticed that I haven't missed yet?"
"Shut up and God won't notice!"
Grif lobbed dozens of grenades, plasma and frag, at the enemy, clearing the path.
"Get to the escape pods! Now!"
Trask was killed by a guy with something like Tucker's Plasma Sword, only it was an actual sword.
"Great, another Red."
Sarge pulled up his M90A. "He's no Red. Even by my standards, he's evil."
He threw the saber at Sarge, who caught the Sith weapon.
"Hey cockbite!"
He looked at Church.
"Sarge?"
"You just got Sarged!"
He blasted the Sith in the face, but the man wasn't dead.
They ran into the escape pod with Carth Onasi.
"Who the-"
"GET IN!"
Darth Malak's Flagship
"10 idiots wearing Red and Blue armor?"
"Yes, Master, but one was called 'Sarge' and another called 'Church'. Perhaps they are the ones."
"The BLOOD GULCHERS? What would make you think that?"
"Sarge caught my lightsaber."
Malak was speechless.
Only Jedi could do that!
And the Blood Gulchers were the ancestors of both the Jedi and the Sith, being Force sensitive and very hard to kill, as it took every Freelancer, Elite and even the Meta to kill them!
And apparently that wasn't enough.
"Find them. Turn them if you can."
"My Lord-to quote the Reds and Blues-that simply isn't possible! Tex, the Freelancer, could not be turned even through love of Church! And the Freelancers are long dead; the Elites refuse to fight because they finally met their match in the Blood Gulchers and the Meta-"
"Don't start on the status of the Meta. People fear the Gulchers. Kill them if you can't turn them."
"I think you should look for my replacement, Master."
Surface of Taris
The Blood Gulchers took off their armor (Sans Church) and put on their UNSC-standard clothing. (AN: The Master Chief is mentioned several times, i.e. the 'Why Are We Here?' the first episode, so I'm of the mind that RvB is in the Halo universe, hence the crossover setting)
Carth looked at the Blood Gulchers, noticing that all had 20000 year old clothing on, from before the time of lost history. (AN: The Infinite Empire of the Ratakans)
"Who are you guys?"
"We're the Reds. Sarge-"
The gruff Sergeant who was cleaning his M90A Custom raised his hand in response.
"Simmons-"
The ass-kissing Private waved.
"The freaky-ass Donut-"
The effeminate solider waved and said hi.
"And I'm Staff Sergeant Grif."
"You got demoted, Grif."
"Washington's not a Red and I still got the order from command, Sarge."
Carth looked at them. "THE Reds? The Blood Gulchers?"
"Yeah, we're from Blood Gulch Outpost Number 1. The others are Church, or the Alpha, whatever he is-"
The armored man simply said nothing.
"Tucker-"
The African-American man activated his Plasma Sword to test if it still worked. (AN: Yes, and I am sorry if I offend the African-American peoples of Canada, the United States and other countries who watch Red vs. Blue, but Tucker is black. I'm not racist, just trying to stay in RvB and Star Wars Canon)
"The retarded Caboose-"
Said Blue looked around the room that Carth 'procured' for them, not noticing Grif's insult.
"And my pretty, if kind of stupid, sister, Kaikaina."
His sister waved at the Republic officer.
"Well, this could help the Republic! Heroes of legend have come back!"
"Heroes?"
"You don't know? You're the forerunners of the Jedi, the Blood Gulchers! You took down the UNSC's ONI, who stuck you in Blood gulch, striking down the Freelancers, the Elite Sangheili and even the Meta!"
Church punched a wall.
"NEVER mention the Meta around me."
"Sorry."
"Wait, the Office of Naval Intelligence? That ONI? The morons who created the SPARTAN-II program?"
Carth nodded.
"What happened after the incident at Command?"
"Well, you got reassigned to Valhalla, found another Freelancer, and found Tex again. You fought the Freelancer Washington soon enough and survived to eventually fight the Me-er, Maine, the enemy Freelancers and the Elites, dying in the end."
"Not a good tale if you ask me, soldier."
"Everyone thought you died, but the Jedi believe that you'd return to save the galaxy from destruction."
Grif sighed.
"So, what the hell happened while we were gone, Mister?"
"Carth Onasi, Captain with the Republic Grand Army."
"Great."
Malak's Flagship
The Blood Gulchers, so-called because of where they were posted, were warriors of legend, ancestors of the Jedi and the Sith in turn and greater in power then even Revan.
Malak, a man with knowledge of the Dark Side of the Force, Bogan, knew little of their Force powers.
They could do things not even Jedi could do: return from the dead, even heal in ways no one could even understand and transform their world, as shown during their Final Battle.
The enemy reported so many things wrong with their ground troops, everything went to hell.
The Blood Gulchers disappeared from history, but now, it seems, the warriors of history wanted revenge against the Sith.
He would fight the Blood Gulchers in time, but now the legends were loose on Taris...likely driving everyone crazy.
I made the RvB crew the grandparents of the Jedi and the Sith. The stuff they do is impossible to anyone, so I explain it away with the power to use the Force.
And they're more powerful then Revan in the ways of the Force and they don't even know it.
Tucker: "Sweet! I'm a Jedi!" Church: "Don't let it go to your head, Tucker."
Next Time: "So, what's a rakghoul?" A number of screams were heard. "Stupid question!"
Ja Ne!