CHAPTER ONE

Come on, come on, I thought as I impatiently tapped the steering wheel in the truck. I was on my way out to see Jake in La Push after our disastrous last meeting and my truck never seemed to move so slow before. I pushed harder on the gas pedal and the truck groaned in protest.

It had been a week since mine and Edward's confrontation with Jake; the one in which he flushed any hope of my vampire transformation going smoothly down the drain. I was as determined as ever to bang it into Jacob's thick skull that I'm capable of making my own decisions about my life…and death.

I had convinced a reluctant Edward to go hunting. His eyes had become considerably darker, at a rate faster than I had known since our first meeting. He'd never admit it, but I knew my scent had become harder for him to deal with since our time apart. He wasn't accustomed to my blood like he used to be, and while I knew he would never lose control, it still made me anxious.

Edward left with the rest of his family, except for a perky Alice whom he instructed to stay with me and play the role of my bodyguard. It was comical really, a four foot ten Alice keeping watch over me. The Cullens have been on edge ever since discovering Victoria had been lurking around while they've been gone, and have been even more overprotective of me. Even though she seemed to have disappeared when Alice came back, Edward still thought it fit for me to have a baby sitter at all times. It made me feel like a toddler.

Edward had left, and now I just had to deal with Alice.

"I'll be fine. I'm going to be with a bunch of werewolves, Alice. I'll be safe from Victoria." I said in an attempt to get her to let me go alone.

"I just don't trust those dogs," Alice sneered, "I'd prefer if I went with you."

"You know you can't do that because of the treaty."

After an hour of argument and persuasion, alright groveling, on my behalf, Alice agreed to let me go alone. I had convinced her that if anything went wrong she would be able to "see" and come to the rescue. I knew Jacob would never hurt me, but there is always the chance I might drive off a cliff into the ocean. I don't think it would be much of a shock to anyone if that actually happened. Edward had been right in classifying me as a danger-magnet, who else would run with the wolves when the vampires left town?

I pulled up in front of Billy and Jake's house and turned off the engine. I sat there, staring straight ahead at nothing in particular, going through my lines I had been rehearsing all morning. I couldn't veer off the script and lose a calm composure, because all I really wanted to do was yell at Jacob for nearly giving Charlie a heart attack about the bike and tell him to mind his own damn business.

"Jake, Edward and I love each other. We want to spend an eternity by each other's side and you have no right to-" There was a sudden knock on the passenger side window and I jumped. Billy's face was peering at me through the glass. I leaned across the seat and rolled the window down.

"Hey Billy," I said with uncertainty. I wasn't exactly sure what terms we were on since the Cullens were back in Forks, but I imagined they weren't good.

"Bella," he said, nodding his head in acknowledgement. His voice was emotionless and his face held no expression. "I imagine you're here to see Jacob?"

"Yes," I replied. What lie is it going to be this time, I thought to myself, Out chasing a car. I snorted as an image of Jake as a Border Collie chasing a beat up Chevy flashed through my mind. Billy looked at me with an odd expression and I felt heat creep up into my cheeks as I turned pink. I'll be glad when I can't do that anymore, I thought.

"Jake's not here," he said. Surprise, surprise. "You might try over at Sam and Emily's place," he added.

"Oh, okay. Thanks Billy," I replied with a smile. At least he was honest this time. Wait, he wouldn't just tell me that to get rid of me, would he? He nodded and turned, wheeling back towards the house.

I drove further into La Push, tapping the wheel and singing along to a cheesy eighties song. Oh, how Edward would be disappointed, I laughed to myself. The eighties weren't exactly his favorite decade in the music, or fashion, era.

I pulled into Sam and Emily's driveway and hopped out of my truck, still humming that ridiculously catchy and cliché song. I knocked and waited a few seconds. I heard the shuffle of feet, and seen Emily peering through the curtains at me. She realized I had seen her and made her way to the front door. She probably would have pretended she wasn't home if she had escaped my notice. Werewolf girl must have lost her soft spot for vampire girl.

"Hi, Bella. Can I help you with something?"

"Um, yeah, I was wondering if Jacob was here?"

"No, he's not. Him and the rest of the boys went off somewhere. I don't know when they'll be back. Do you want me to leave him a message?" She seemed wary, and slightly angry. I had an inkling we weren't friends any longer. It made me angry how everyone could just shun me because Edward was back in my life. Couldn't any one see he was my life? I didn't exist without him, plain and simple.

"Yes, you can tell Jacob to mind his own damn business!" I yelled at Emily and she looked taken aback. I didn't care; I had been locked up in my house because of him. I was frustrated and angry and someone needed to know it.

"Bella, do you want to talk?" Emily asked, she was concerned and had lost the distant tone of voice she had on earlier.

I had tears streaming down my face, and I felt utterly pathetic. I'll be glad when I can't do that anymore either.

"Yes, I'd like that," I managed to choke out.

"Okay, come on in." She moved back and held the door open for me. I shuffled through the doorway noisily.

We sat in the living room, on a big, plush blue couch. I just sat there, staring at the polished, wooden coffee table. Emily cleared her throat and I looked up. She urged me on with her eyes, and the words started to spill out.

"I just don't know what to do! Everything is so much more difficult than it should be. Of course, I'd never thought dating a vampire and being best friends with a werewolf would be easy, but still! And Jacob's acting so childish-"

"Childish about you wanting to become a vampire," Emily asked skeptically.

"Oh, you heard about that," I whispered, looking down at my hands.

"Yes, we all did. Jacob warned us." My head whipped up to look at her.

"Warned you!" My anger flared up again, why should he have to warn them of anything? It's not like it's some ritualistic sacrifice, or anything. I wanted this, so much that it very nearly became physical pain. I not only wanted it but I needed it.

"Bella, just calm down," Emily said soothingly and patted my shoulder. Without thinking, I flung myself at her and hugged her. She seemed hesitant, but after a few seconds she started rubbing my back.

"I love him so much. He's my entire life. You didn't see how miserable I was without him, Emily. Not even Jacob knows the extent of my zombie days," I mumbled into her shoulder. "He left me, and I wouldn't be able to survive going through that again." I started crying harder, sobbing and choking on my tears. It was odd, opening myself up to Emily, when I hadn't even opened up to my own father about my fears. But then again, Emily was aware of my secret realities. Vampires and werewolves were as real to her as they were to me. We were both in love with a mythical creature.

"I know how you feel, Bella. After Sam and I got into that argument, the one that left me scarred, he left me, too." I looked up at her.

She nodded her head, seeing the question of confirmation in my eyes.

"He didn't want to hurt me, he was afraid of losing control." I nodded my head, I knew that routine. "But he wasn't as strong as your Edward, he came back within a couple weeks." She smiled, and I smiled back. At least she didn't have to suffer as much as I did.

"He's still hesitant to be close to me. And every time we get into an argument he bolts out the door, but at least I have him, you know?" I nodded again.

"But, you know, if I had the chance to become a werewolf, a chance to be his equal, a chance to have a real argument with him, as silly as that sounds…I'd gladly take it."

I stared at her, my mouth dropped open. What she just said stunned me, I wondered if she acknowledged my equivalent to that. But before I could say anything, she continued.

"And if Sam wasn't a werewolf, say he was a," Emily paused, looking at me slyly, "vampire…I'd still take the chance if I got it."

Emily got up then, rising from the couch fluidly and she smiled at me. She turned and headed for the kitchen, he footfalls echoing through the house.

"Hey, Bella?" She called to me as I heard the clanking of pots and pans. The boys were probably due back, and lord can they eat a lot.

"Yes?" I was still a bit stunned at Emily's revelation.

"About the treaty," she hesitated a moment before continuing, "You wouldn't happen to know any other 'vegetarians' would you? Because the treaty is specific only to the Cullens."

My jaw hit the floor.