Chapter 2: Love Over Destiny

Long ago, before time itself existed, I created your kind, my son. I shaped their essences and formed them in my image, giving them swift, powerful bodies and the ruggedness to withstand the harsh conditions on this world. I called them wolves, a name of power drawn from within me. I gave them my own strength and intelligence, and part of my essence is in all of them. They were destined to become one of the greatest species on the material plane, but somehow that was not enough for me. I wanted more for them, more than I could give them simply by divine creation.

This world and the harsh environment would cause my children to be separated, and split up into smaller packs. I had underestimated how even basic survival could cause rifts among them, even causing them to fight against one another at times. They had lost their way and had no one to guide them back to the path.

I had foreseen the need for a guide among them and was prepared to give them a gift the likes of which a spirit had never given her creations before. I would become mortal and give them a son born of this earth, one who would form a bridge between this realm and the spirit realm, and who could unite and lead all the wolves down the path they were destined to walk.

Balto gasped in shock. "You - I - That was me? Or supposed to be me?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes, my son," Aniu said calmly. "But I was not prepared for what awaited me in my mortal form."

To become mortal, it was necessary for me to start at the beginning, as an unborn pup in my mother's womb. My birth was difficult and I did not realize how harsh the conditions would be in this mortal realm. Spirits do not know such things as pain, heat, cold, hunger, even though we know they exist. To experience them myself was almost too much for me, and I very nearly gave up, but I was determined. I was born an only child, a pure white cub from parents who were colored dark and light brown. They saw me as a miracle, and they named me Aniu, as I was destined to be named.

I grew quickly as all wolf cubs do, and I had a lot to learn. The range of emotions I felt overwhelmed me. Happiness, fear, sadness, anger, all of them were new to me and I didn't know how to control them. As young as I was, I had no choice but to continue growing and learn to accept them. As I grew older I was able to begin to hunt and fend for myself. I had to learn to fight, and how to run away from a fight I couldn't win. I had to survive long enough to mature and give birth to a son who would become the great uniter, a leader among leaders.

A year passed quickly, and I was rapidly maturing into an attractive female. I had already chosen my mate, a strong wolf named Nilak. He was all black and was a natural leader, a good father for my destined son. Despite my hardships in adjusting to life as a mortal being, my plan was still in place, and Nilak seemed more than willing to accommodate my needs. The mating season was rapidly approaching and all was going as I predicted.

"But I could not have foreseen what was going to happen next," Aniu said quietly, as she paused in her storytelling.

"Mother? Are you all right?" Balto asked timidly and looked up at her.

Aniu smiled at him. "Yes, little one. Retelling this story rekindles emotions I have not felt since I was mortal as you are," she said wistfully. "Some are good and some are bad, but they are all worth feeling again."

Balto lay down again and nuzzled his mother's soft, snow white fur. She smelled clean, like the air in winter. He thought about how much he missed his mother, and he shut his eyes tightly as a tear ran down his face. Aniu lovingly licked the tear from his face and nuzzled him, and he began to tremble with sadness.

"It's all right, little one, " Aniu said softly. "I am with you always. You are my son, and I have never abandoned you." Her voice covered him like a warm blanket, and soon his trembling stopped. Aniu lay down and wrapped her tail around him, and continued to tell her story.

It was a day like most any other, and I had been assigned to hunt and bring back food for the pack. I strayed far from the pack in search of game, but I was distracted. The mating season was approaching and I was beginning to feel urges I had never felt before. Primal, base urges I knew I could not deny for much longer. My mortal form made me just as susceptible to those urges as any other creature on your world, and I could not resist them.

I saw movement in the corner of my eye and I focused my attention on it. I began to sneak towards the movement and I caught sight of a deer feeding on the leaves of a nearby shrub. I was concentrating but I was still too distracted. I stepped on a twig that snapped, and the deer bounded away. I cursed my lack of concentration and ran after the deer.

The deer was fast, but I was faster. I was catching up when we burst out of the forest and into an open plain. I was momentarily surprised by the sudden end of the forest, but I continued to chase the deer across the tundra. Suddenly I heard barking coming from my left, and I turned to see something I had never seen before in my time among mortals. It was a team of dogs pulling a sled, and a human standing on the back of the sled giving orders to the dogs. I was so surprised, I stopped chasing the deer and watched the dogs pull the sled past me.

I was mesmerized, watching the dogs work in unison to pull the sled. I thought about how that kind of unity was what I wanted for my wolves, a sense of united purpose among all my children. Then I looked at the lead dog and felt something I hadn't felt before. He was larger than the others, and was a beautiful combination of black and brown. He was powerful, so much power in that sleek husky body, and... I was drawn to him by a force beyond my control. I completely forgot about finding food, and I followed the sled at a distance to see where it was going. I followed it to a small town near the ocean not far away, and I watched from afar as they took the sled to a barn near the edge of town. I saw the human unhook the dogs from the sled, and they all went into the barn together.

I could not overcome my curiosity, nor could I deny the feelings I was experiencing at that moment. I quietly made my way to the barn and leapt atop some crates to look inside a window. Inside I saw the human petting the dogs and telling them how well they did, and he gave them all food and water. Again my focus drifted to the lead dog, who had finished eating and was lying on the floor near the back, preparing to sleep. I could not take my eyes away from him as my desire for him became so strong it was all I could do not to howl out loud.

In my mind, I knew this would undo everything I had planned. The new leader of the wolves, the one who was to unite all the wolf packs and become the bridge to the spirit world had to be pure wolf, and only I could give birth to such a leader. I had planned for so long and endured and lost so much to give this gift to my children, how could I abandon it now?

I had made a terrible mistake in my planning. I had not anticipated how fully and completely my mortal form would be subject to all the natural needs and desires that come with being a wolf. I had thought that I would be able to retain some control over myself and filter these feelings out in order to do what had to be done, but I was wrong. Now I was in the throes of my mating cycle, and my mind had all but relinquished control to my body's needs. I no longer wanted Nilak, and at that moment didn't even remember him at all. I could not force myself to leave the window, and I lost track of time as I sat there watching the lead dog sleep.

I don't know how long I sat there, but it was dark and all the dogs and humans were asleep as far as I could tell. I climbed down off the crates and moved silently towards the barn door. I nudged it open with my nose, and slipped inside quietly, not wanting to wake these dogs who would surely chase me off into the night. I was being foolish by even attempting to enter the barn, but the ability to make rational decisions had left me hours ago.

I approached the lead dog without waking any of the others, and I stood there in front of him, admiring his sleeping form. I made no sound as I gazed at him, but somehow he knew I was there. He woke slowly, and raised his head to look at me.

Suka the lead dog raised his head to see a beautiful, slender pure white wolf staring at him silently. "What–" he began to say, as Aniu quickly placed her paw over his muzzle.

"Please," she whispered. "Please don't wake the others. I don't mean you any harm. I just... I just wanted to..."

"Who - who are you?" Suka whispered in return. "Why are you here, what do you want?"

"I will tell you everything you wish to know, but not here. Will you follow me outside?" Aniu asked hopefully.

Suka studied her face and felt that she was speaking truthfully. She had risked her life just walking into that barn, and besides, Suka was bigger and stronger than she was. If it came to a fight, he would win. He followed her outside, and they walked together away from the barn and to a secluded area just outside of town. They stopped under a tree and Aniu sniffed the air to make sure they were alone. She turned back to look at Suka and smiled shyly.

"I'm here, I trusted you. Now will you tell me why you're here?" Suka asked somewhat impatiently.

"I - I suppose I should start by telling you my name. I am Aniu."

Suka visibly relaxed a bit at hearing her name. "Hello, Aniu. My humans call me Suka. They told me it's their native word for 'fast'." He smiled at her.

"Thank you for trusting me, Suka." Aniu said humbly. "I am sorry for appearing before you like that, but I didn't know what else to do." She sat down to face Suka and began to recount the events that had led her to this point.

"...and after I saw you, I couldn't stop thinking of you. I saw you enter the barn, and I watched through the window as you slept. And then I had no choice, I had to try to talk to you."

Suka's eyes widened with realization. "You're in - but that means - but you can't - we can't–"

Aniu lowered her head. "I know, Suka. This is as difficult for me as it must be for you, and it was certainly unexpected for me. My pack doesn't know I'm here, they don't even know where I am right now. I'm disobeying my Alpha and I didn't bring any food back to the pack. And worst of all, I'm failing in the one thing I was created to do." She shut her eyes and turned away. "But I can't deny what my heart and body are telling me. I am in love with you."

Suka just stared at her, noticing for the first time how the moonlight shone off her pure white coat and made her look as though she was imbued with spiritual energy. She lowered her head even more as a tear rolled down her cheek and fell into the snow below. "I'm sorry, Suka," she sniffed. "I know this can never be, but at the same time I cannot fight my own body and desires. I'm sorry to make you follow me out here for nothing."

"Aniu..." Suka whispered as he moved closer and licked the tears from her face. Aniu turned her head to nuzzle Suka, and she closed her eyes and took in his scent and felt his powerful body against her own. "You are as beautiful as the lights in the sky, and I am honored that you would choose me above any of your own kind. And the truth is..." he lowered his head. "I - I think I'm in love with you too. I started feeling this way the moment I saw you standing in front of me. You were so beautiful, I thought you were a great spirit come to see me in the flesh. I would have followed you anywhere."

Aniu raised her head to look into his eyes. "Suka..." she breathed, and kissed him.

When I finally arrived home the next day without any food for the pack, I was punished for it. I was made to do menial tasks around our home and was not allowed to hunt for a week. But when my punishment was over, I resumed my normal duties as a hunter for the pack. Nilak approached me a number of times to mate with me, but I refused, to his confusion. I didn't blame him for being confused, but I had already mated with Suka, and even then I could feel the first stirrings of life within me.

I continued to sneak back to Suka's home when I could, and the two of us would just lay together under the stars, helplessly in love, my purpose for being here temporarily forgotten as my heart dictated my actions.

After a few weeks, my belly was starting to show evidence of your existence, little one. I kept to my duties without saying a thing, but the other wolves began to talk. They knew I had not mated with Nilak, and it was becoming clear that I was with child. I knew I had failed in my only task upon this plane, which was to deliver to the wolves a leader born to them and of them. I cursed my mortal form for failing me in this task; I cursed myself for being too weak to overcome my natural urges.

As the days went on and your arrival came ever closer, I worried less and less about giving the wolves a new leader and guide. It was still something that needed to be done, but my time upon this earth had tempered my priorities. As a mortal I found it increasingly difficult to maintain the perspective of a spirit, as so much of my life was dedicated to day-to-day survival. I began to accept that you were a gift all your own. Even though you would not be the one to unite the wolves and lead them as one, you would be born out of love, not duty. That small difference alone was worth everything I had endured during my time here.

Finally my time was near, and the other wolves were demanding to know who the father was. They had already determined it was nobody from our pack, and they were becoming suspicious. I would not be able to hide your pedigree from them once you were born, so I was forced to tell them everything. I told them how I fell in love with Suka and how we consummated our love, and how I was happy to bear a pup conceived out of love, despite the fact that he would only be half wolf.

My pack, the family I was born into, banished me without a second thought. I was cast out and left to fend for myself with only a week or two left before you were to come into the world. I was beginning to have trouble moving, and I knew I needed to find shelter quickly. I searched far and wide for many days until I found a small cave tucked into the base of a mountain, far away from my home. It was safe and would do for what I needed. With my last days before the birth, I hunted for as much food as I could find, and prepared for your arrival.

Then it was time, and the birth was very long and difficult. I bore the pain for many long hours until finally you arrived. I bit the cord and pushed you to my underbelly where you began to feed, and I lost consciousness from exhaustion. When I awoke I found you sleeping against me, content and warm. It was the happiest I had ever been in my short life on this earth, and I wept tears of joy to see you alive and well. You were beautiful, little one, and you still are.

Balto began to tear up again. "I love you, mother," he said quietly.

"And I love you, my son," Aniu replied with a voice that rolled over him like a warm breeze. She nuzzled his face and gently comforted him.

After a while, Balto sat up and looked at Aniu. "What happened after I was born, mother? Why was I alone in the snow when Boris found me and took me in? All these years I thought you abandoned me, at least before I knew you were Aniu."

Aniu closed her eyes. "I will tell you what happened, little one. These memories are painful to recall, but you must know the truth."

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Next: Chapter 3 - "An Angel Fallen"