A/N: Here is another wonderfully insane chapter. Made by BKE and Gladiator Beast MCK.
Hope you enjoy it!
The first thing that everyone should realize about Mikuru is that she is different, for she.......... Is really a WereOtaku!
She comes out once in a full or blue moon and raids the stores up and down the streets of Akihabara and Shibuya searching for the worse things imaginable. Evangelion cosplay, Gundam models, cat ears, Death Notes, and the most revealing clothing she can find.
Once, she was even suspected of dressing up and going to the annual event Comiket with the entire computer club society as mentioned by Yuki.
However, there's one secret that she would kill herself over if someone found out... She's secretly a fan of yaoi .
But not just any yaoi!
Live-action yaoi.
One day in the club room after Haruhi left and Yuki was at the computer club, she decided to get her fix with her beloved clubmates...
She goaded Itsuki by telling him that Kyon had left her with a letter saying that he truly loved Itsuki. Kyon was in the clubroom when Itsuki rushed in and declared his love for him, while Mikuru waited, watching nearby.........
When suddenly, while Itsuki made his declaration, Kyon transformed into batshit-insane-psycho-killer Kyon!
As Itsuki was chased around the clubroom by a stabby-feely Kyon, Mikuru decided that her fix can be satisfied with Junjou Romantica and Gravitation just fine, saving Itsuki the trouble of being stabbed (the real kind) by someone. As for Itsuki himself, well........... He transformed into Giant-Robot-Final-Form Itsuki!
Kyon was astonished, for he had entered a non sequitur, of the most EPIC proportions.
He stared down at his knife and said, "I could've had a V8!"
And Itsuki, in his robot form indeed had a V8, and a Red Bull, and also Mike's Hard Lemonade. Kyon realized that Itsuki as a robot was not so bad, but when Itsuki's main gun charged, he felt that asking for a V8 meant the most unfunny and sad of fates. But he knew he had to stand up to the Gachihomo that loved him and so.......
He ran for the door and saw Taniguchi walking by, as the robot gave chase, the psychopathic cynic shoved the ladies man in front of him and said, "Take him instead! He's more awesomer than I am!"
Itsuki looked at the other boy and mused to himself, "Hmm. I wanted the strong uke with the tsundereness, but I guess a well-tanned Casanova is more fun, so I'll take him!"
"Not so fast!" Taniguchi exclaimed as he brought a large sword out of nowhere. "By the power of Greyskull! I have the power!" he shouted as he turned into... An exact clone of Skeletor.
"Aww. How did you know I had a bone fetish, Tani-chaaan?" Itsuki said as he threw the skeletonized playboy into the clubroom with him and locked the door.
A large amount of screaming ensued as the bony one was well...... boned. Kyon walked away, wishing he had killed something and contemplated going to the pound and "adopting a puppy", when he ran into Mikuru with her camera, and an envelope of a love letter and put two and two together.
"THIS IS SPARTA!!!!" he exclaimed as he kicked Mikuru into a random sewer entrance. Mikuru fell to the bottom with her camera, and was greeted by the hideous site of a bunch of random dead bodies, an oven, and Yuki and Tsuruya standing around a dinner table with the head of Mr. Okabe.
"Hey, Mikuru! Wanna have a bite?" Tsuruya bellowed out loud as she offered the red-headed otaku one of Okabe's eyeballs. Yuki slathered the eyeball in honey mustard dip and swallowed it whole. When they noticed the squeaking presence of Mikuru Asahina, they realized that they had real fresh meat for once, not the substitute teachers of oldness.......
***
"Damn!" The Undertaker exclaimed as he woke up from his crappy sleep.
"I need to stop taking so much LSD. Hey, honey? You up?" he asked the other one, who was sleeping next to him in bed.
For god knows what reason, the face of Ric Flair in a maid costume rose from the bed, prompting Undertaker to figure out not only was he dreaming, but... Why he was wearing what appeared to be a sailor fuku, yellow ribbons, an orange armband, and why he felt lighter everywhere except his chest...
Oh, shit on a corn-dog stick, he was Haruhi Suzumiya and Ric was Mikuru Asahina.
The end.
A/N: That friends, was the teamwork of BKE and MCK. And what's even crazier is that SSU had nothing to do with this one!
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