(A/N) Okay so here is chapter one - which is MUCH longer than the prologue, hope you like it :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
Chapter One.
"So the Nightmare begins..."
...Teddy...
I rolled my eyes as James bolted through the platform wall, his over-excited shout carrying back to us above the noise of train engines. Harry hoisted his daughter, Lily, higher on his hip and cursed under his breath before passing through the ageing wall of bricks, yelling for James to slow down.
Usually I would handle James —or aunt Ginny—but with Albus throwing up his guts back home, Uncle Harry had been left with the platform drop off and I wasn't particularly in the mood to be helpful. To be honest I was thankful Harry had his hands full; it meant he had no time to ask questions on my 'strange behavior', or my recent recovery from my long term 'illness'.
I exhaled heavily and stared at the archway before me. My knuckles turning white as I gripped the trolley handle. You can do this. Suck it up! One more fucking year and you'll be free. No more hiding, no more sneaking-
"Do you plan on going to school this year Teddy?"
Holy shit!
My entire body tensed and bolted forward in panic, my owl squawking in complaint as the trolley jolted suddenly. I narrowed my eyes as her melodic laugh bubbled from her throat.
"Fuck Victoire, what the hell?" I growled, turning on her threateningly. Annoyingly her laughter didn't falter.
"You should've-" she gasped for breath "-seen your f-face!"
"Bloody hilarious," I muttered sarcastically pushing the trolley through the wall, leaving her giggling behind.
I froze the second I was through.
The platform heaved with people and animals, the thick white blanket of steam hazing the view of most. My nerves twitched as the throng of people—too many people—swarmed about me. My heightened senses overloaded, I shuddered uncomfortably, my currently preferred jet black hair falling in front of my vision.
Suddenly, a sharp pain rammed my lower back and I buckled under the power of the trolley colliding with me. Laughter erupted from the surrounding students as I fell to the stone cold flooring of the platform.
What the fuck?
I rolled over in time to see Victoire struggling to her feet as another trolley crossed the barrier. I winced as she cried out, crumpling to the ground on impact.
Hurriedly I got to my feet, wand in hand I moved the trolleys away from the entrance before another could add to the chaos. I saw Victoire shuffle across the floor towards her trolley, her blue eyes on me like daggers, silently telling me that I was a dead man. However, Nathan Flint, the second victim, was going to beat her to it. Crap.
"Oi Teddy!" a slap on my back alerted me to the presence of Michael Wood, my best friend since first year, "that was fucking brilliant, way to start the school year mate!" he chortled.
"Brilliant? I swear you two freaks will pay for that!" Flint growled.
"Now, now Flinty, let's not get angry, we're not even on the train yet." Wood taunted, his expression mocking. We burst out in a fit of laughs, causing Flint to storm off in anger, his trolley rattling and its contents bouncing precariously.
"Long time no see mate, where've you been all summer? Come to think of it, the last time you pulled a prank like this was on your birthday last year!"
And just like that, my mind floods with the reminder of the messed up shit that happened last year. My mood darkened, my laughter dying in my throat as I sobered. Fortunately I was saved, by none other than the annoying Victoire.
"I think you'll find you're dearest Teddy did not intend to make a fool of himself this time, Wood." Victoire commented, dusting herself off and reaching for her damaged trolley.
"Oh really?" asked Wood, his brow raised in surprise.
"Yes, really" she exaggerated, brushing past us, her arms carefully manoeuvring her trolley so that—
My foot jerked out of the way before my mind had even caught up, avoiding the wheel by millimetres.
"Damn you Teddy Lupin!" she grumbled flicking her hair over her shoulder before heading off into the cloud of white.
Wood whistled low, "She's-"
"Don't even finish that sentence!" I snapped, "She's Victoire, and I fucking swear to Merlin if you even think about complimenting her in any way, we will no longer be friends." I turned, retrieving my trolley forcefully and stomping off to find my godfather, meanwhile mentally preparing to board the train to goddamn hell.
I found him stood with George Weasley. Fred and James talking animatedly about the fun they would have this year whilst Lily and Roxanne looked on wistfully at the Hogwarts Express.
"There you are Ted, nice to see you back on your feet, thought you were a goner for a while then." remarked uncle George with a sly wink that told me he knew more than the rest of the family. "I was even going to start fashioning your gravestone 'Teddy Lupin beloved metamorphmagus and zombie.' "
I smiled tensely feeling Harry's eyes fixed on me. "Too bad Uncle George," I said with a grin. "We metamorphmaguses are resilient."
There was a loud whistle, signalling the soon departure of the train. James and Fred let out loud 'Whoops!' and ran for the nearest door ignoring shouts from any they accidentally charged into.
"Teddy," Harry began and I looked at him patiently, "...good luck." he sighed, blatantly refraining from saying what he wanted. I nodded stiffly, and turned to board the train to my doom.
...
There was something strangely cosy about the compartments on the train. Maybe it was the familiarity or then again maybe it was the sweet trolley. I shook my box of Berty Botts every flavour beans breathing in deeply.
Earwax. Frogspawn. Vomit. Snails. Apple. Bingo.
I reached in and pulled out the pale green bean and put it in my mouth. Apple. Fuck I'd been right. Wood reached in and pulled out a deep red glossy bean. "I love strawberries." he said throwing it up to catch it in his mouth.
I recoiled slightly wrinkling my nose. Blood.
The second he burst it between his teeth he spat it back coughing, "Ugh! Sick! Blood flavoured, that's fucking wrong!" I stared at him; I'd known what it was before he put it in his mouth. This shit was wrong. It was like all my senses were growing, expanding, like I was a kid again and everything was new and strange and you had to try it out and see what happened.
"Don't tell the twins I couldn't down it, I'll never hear the end of it! Swear to me Teddy!"
"Swear." I mumbled my eyes on the window. We weren't far from the nightmare now I noticed. I sighed deeply. Not bothering to look up when the door slid open.
"Bonjour!" Dominique announced herself, loudly, her pause informing me that I had to look at her.
Her Weasley red hair was only enhanced by the Veela genes and made her head look as though it was alight, her piercing eyes only adding to her fiery appearance. "I'm looking for Vic, you haven't seen her have you?"
"Not since the platform." Wood said, whilst still rinsing his mouth with water.
"Teddy?" she asked.
"If I'd had a run in with her you'd have heard about it." I answered glumly, she laughed loudly.
"Yes I suppose you two never do get along very well, but if you do see her tell her to find me, it's urgent."
"We're on a train Dom, there aren't exactly many places to hide." I pointed out with a roll of my eyes.
"Yes but when Vic doesn't want to be found she's very good at seeing to it that she isn't, I thought you would have figured that out back when you were ten Teddy Lupin," she said her eyebrow raised in conviction.
I didn't blush, being a metamorphhmagus meant I could hide it, but it didn't stop me from being unable to meet her eyes in embarrassment, oh yes, that day I remembered. I still say it was her stupid fault for daring me.
"Point taken, you can leave now." I spat, rudely I'll admit. She huffed slamming the door to the compartment behind her.
"Am I permitted to compliment that one?" Wood wondered I stared at him disbelieving.
"She may be better than Victoire, but no, you can't give her shit." I said glaring at him, "you know what Veelas are like, one nice comment and they just get more arrogant and narcissistic."
"Ooo, big words there Ted." Wood chuckled.
"Shut it." I said tossing an empty chocolate frog packet at his head as the train screeched to a stop at the station.
"Hell yeah! We'll be having the feast soon, god the food at Hogwarts is so much better than my mam's, only dad can stomach it and that's just because he's out there on the Quidditch pitch all day and he'll die if he doesn't shove something down his throat," rambled Wood—it was the same thing he said every year.
...
I did have to admit though, the food was good. Scarfing down chicken drumsticks and cooked ham was definitely a way to calm the nerves. Though I didn't really know why I was so fucking nervous. After all I'd been in school the first time it happened. Difference was after I was done freaking out in the dark forest for a day and a half; I faked a serious case of spattergroit and got myself out of Hogwarts for the remaining three months of the school year in order to hide my true condition. I know they all suspected something but they trusted me enough to act like they knew fuck all. Unfortunately thanks to their concern for my education I was sent all my schoolwork, and was watched carefully so that I met all deadlines.
I was just thankful no one figured it out; it gave me chance to get a handle on it. To try and gain some control and get some answers.
"Hey, Teddy, how are you?" I swallowed heavily, the half-chewed chicken sliding uncomfortably down my throat. Who the hell?
I turned round to see Molly Weasley, looking scarily like the grandmother she was named after, gazing at me with concern. "Um, fine. I recovered weeks ago" I answered, trying to sound polite. Molly wasn't Victoire; I'd learnt that lesson very early on in my childhood.
"I know, but an illness like that can mess with your mind, too." I gritted my teeth against the urge to ask her what the hell she knew about illnesses screwing up a person's mind, because unlike her irritating cousin, she wouldn't retort back with some smart ass comment, she'd more likely be very upset, and I'd receive a howler from Aunt Ginny and my Grandma.
"No really, I'm right as rain," I forced a smile, causing her to respond in kind.
"Good, well see you later Teddy," she said, before walking off to the Ravenclaw table.
"D'you think she wanted to be in Gryffindor?" Wood blurted curiously.
"What?"
"Well, it's just most of her family are Gryffindors and she's not, it'd bother me that's all."
I frowned and looked down the table at the various Weasley's. "Maybe... I'd never really thought about it, Dom and Louis are in Ravenclaw too so it's not like she's on her own," I shrugged, looking back at Wood who studied me carefully before speaking.
"You know, we really missed you last year-"
"Ooo bro-mance!" piped the twins Kevin and Daniel Stuart, our room-mates. The four of us made up the entirety of the Gryffindor boys in our year. We were the war babies. With so many people at the time of Voldemort's rise living in fear or on the run, not many risked bringing kids into the world. I didn't blame them. Several in my year were orphaned and speaking from personal experience, it hurt like a bitch to know you would never know your parents.
"Dicks!" muttered Wood. I smiled briefly before stuffing my mouth again. The twins chuckled. They were so in sync it was scary sometimes; they'd been known to fool the teachers from time to time. It used to infuriate me and Wood, until we began to notice the tell tail signs.
Dan tilted his head to the right when he was concentrating or listening, whilst Kevin preferred to bite his nails. Though they both looked like reflections of one another, Kevin's hair was always slightly neater than Dan's and Dan often accidentally left his glasses on after class whilst Kevin wore them as little as possible. Every now and then they would still get away with it, and drive us furious, but usually—much to their frustration—they would slip up.
"So are you two co-captaining the team this year?" asked Kevin, slapping some more meat on his plate.
"Of course..." began Wood, nodding his head enthusiastically.
"Um, actually, I think you should do it. I mean, it means more to you... and your dad." I argued looking a sincere as possible. In reality, I wanted so fucking much to head the team, but I knew I just couldn't do it; I had too much crap on my mind.
"Teddy, we've always said-"
"I know, but…look, because of my...because I was sick, I'm just so far behind on school and stuff, so you'd end up doing most of the work anyway and then I'd take the credit and that's not fair,"
"Look man I don't care"
"Well I care!" I yelled louder than I intended, drawing the attention of the nearby students. "What are you all looking at?" I shouted angrily, causing them to all look away quickly.
"Teddy are you—"
"I'm fine! I just don't want to be captain alright?"
"Okay." placated Wood his face worried.
"Well, almost becoming a zombie hasn't made him anymore social." Dan commented. There was a beat of silence and then four bursts of laughter.
"Hey have you seen the shiner Flint's got." commented Kevin.
"I bet he didn't take too well to getting that, it's messed up his 'photogenic face'" guffawed Dan.
Wood glanced at me pointedly, then said, "You bet he didn't"
"No fucking way, that was you?" the twins gaped.
"Accident I swear!" I tried.
"Yeah right." scoffed Kevin.
"Well according to Vic, Teddy here 'didn't intend to make a fool of himself this time'" I laughed at Wood's scarily good impression of Victoire, but my laughing stopped when both Wood and I received a large slice ham to the face.
"Who the fuck-"
"Oh I'm sorry I was aiming for your fat gobs." apologised Victoire. Gritting my teeth, I picked up a piece of ham angling my arm back carefully, smiling as her eyes widened and she mouthed the words 'don't you dare'.
And that was it.
Just like when we were kids again, she'd dared me, and I wouldn't fail. I see her eyes narrow as she recognises the change in me and the growing determination.
"Teddy Remus Lupin I swear to Merlin!" she shouts and then I launch.
Both of our faces stare disbelieving at the suspended piece of ham that remains centimetres in front of her face.
Shit, that wasn't supposed to happen.
It falls to the table with a loud smack.
My eyes flick to Wood who looks just as confused, and then back to Victoire who looks at me blankly for a few seconds before her eyes focus in on something or—more accurately—someone behind me, before becoming fascinated with her plate. I search the room behind me to find the culprit who stole my fun, but am unfortunately disappointed.
"Stevenson." whispered Kevin, I look at him and the way all three of them find this a perfectly good explanation, before finally deciding I have clearly missed something.
"Victories' ex." clarifies Dan.
There is a pause in my brain before it processes this new information and then: WTF!
I blanked. White noise and a strange red the only thing in my mind.
"Wha?" I choke my eyes finding Victoire only to be familiarised with the back of her head. And for some reason this fucking angers me more. Because right now she's doing something she's rarely ever done. She's pretending I don't exist.
"When did she get a boyfriend?" I pushed.
"He asked her out not long after you left last year, she blew him down flat, bloody fantastic!" Wood chuckled, "anyway some time later they're a couple, and then..." he shrugged, "all anyone knows is that it ended badly, and I mean it was ugly, she wouldn't tell anyone what happened, not even her sister could get it out of her, the houses picked sides and all that shit. Seems kind of resolved now at least."
"How come no one said anything to me?"
"One: you were incapacitated." started Kevin.
"Two: It's Vic, since when do you give a shit?" finished Dan.
"I mean the family-"
"Sworn to secrecy, no Weasley or Potter would speak a word of it, Vic made sure of that. You should have been there when she threatened James' and Fred's brooms" laughed Wood. I could imagine that all too well.
I frowned glancing to the ham on the table and up to those infuriating blue eyes. She smiled tauntingly noticing my line of sight; I narrowed my eyes and stood my ground because that's what we did. "Watch your back" I mouthed, her smile grew into a beam, "You watch yours" she responded before entering the conversation of her friends.
I swivelled in my seat, my eyes scanning the hall for no particular reason, though I noticed the three, no four, times they sized up Henry Stevenson.
...
I stood observing, surprising myself with how well I could hear the conversations happening on the upper floors. Kevin and Dan had stolen Wood's wand so he'd chased them up who knows how many flights of stairs. My head tilted to the side as I heard the mention of my name, my ears focusing on the girl…Melony, that was her name.
"...Teddy Lupin? Oh my god he looks gorgeous in black! I thought he'd be scarred and ugly after the spattergroit but freaking hell he looks better than before!"
"Did you hear about Lacey, the Hufflepuff, she was the last person to see him before he left school, they were in a broom closet. She says they were just getting to it when he..."
I stopped listening before they could remind me of that night. I'd forgotten about Lacey, my godfather would go fucking psycho if he knew what I'd done that night. Well he'd probably slaughter me if he knew who I'd done on the whole to be honest.
Regardless.
Fuck I missed it.
I missed the time when my only cares in life had been winning a Quidditch match, passing a test, and being deep in some girl as often as possible.
I hated this: the secrets, the lies, the pain and the crazy. But most of all, the isolation.
Yeah my mates were still my mates but it was...different. It drove me fucking mad that there was no one I could talk to, no one I could tell, I didn't have parents or a family really. I was alone in all this shit. And that was what I hated most of all.
I gazed up at the now abandoned staircases listening to them move randomly, my senses noting all the small things: The activities of the portraits, the distant echoes of laughter. And something else, some instinct that made my skin tighten.
I sighed feeling more alone than I had at home. I couldn't believe there was not one fucking person in the world that would-
"Are you planning to go to bed tonight Teddy?"
"Holy freaking hell!"
A/N Aww poor Teddy!
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