There's an empty room,
Full of memories.
And everywhere I look,
That's where you used to be.
Rory walked quickly, in a composed manner, out to her car which was not actually as close as she had said it was. Fumbling with the keys, she struggled to keep face while still within view. Safely inside, the tears began to flow. What had she just done? She hadn't come to Philadelphia to completely break off her relationship with him! Quite to the contrary, she wanted to come to a place where she could just come visit him and see how he was but their connection was still too real and probably would always be.
It's like a photograph,
A moment froze in time
I'm staring at your face,
Even when I close my eyes
Through quiet sobs, she replayed the recent events in her mind. The sound of one sentence kept echoing in her ears. The way he had said it, the tone of his voice, the pain and confusion that lay behind it: "You're okay with leaving it at that, closing the door and going back to Logan--- pretending everything is fine?"
She'd said she was. She'd said there was no other choice, but was that true? In her heart of hearts, she knew it wasn't a possibility for her to stop loving him.
I wish I could go back,
And be with you again.
Cause there's so many things I should have said
When I had you listening.
But it wasn't realistic to think something could ever work between them. Philadelphia and New Haven were not exactly close to each other. She did like Logan, he was a good guy and he was close, unlike Jess. It wasn't fair to either of them. Yet, something was tugging at her heart so deeply for Jess, against everything her instincts told her was right.
As close as we were then,
As far as we are now,
As much as this wont change a thing,
You've got me calling out.
It began to rain and her tears fell at a pace very similar to that of the droplets outside of her car. She rested her head against the drivers side window. "What do I do?" She asked. Swallowing hard, she blinked a few times and she brushed her tears away as best she could. She placed the key into the ignition and hesitated. A moment later she was running back to were she had just been, the rain beating hard on her and quickly soaking her clothes. Approaching the door, she slowed to an abrupt stop in front of the door. Still sort of crying, she bit her lip and placed her in hand in the position to knock. Inhaling, she did, furiously. Then there was silence, and she heard no sound from behind the door. No sound but the rain and she sniffles. For what seemed like three minutes or more, she waited there. He did not come.
Now was it ever meant to last?
Candled burned from yesterday.
The past is all we're gonna have,
I can't run to catch my breath.
That was it, she'd lost him for good. He'd given her the ultimatum and she'd chosen the wrong man. Now, like it or not she really did have to go back to Logan and pretend that everything was fine. She folded her arms across her chest and began to walk away slowly, lingering. Finally, she turned around and continued. Not even thinking about the rain anymore, she simply walked.
"Rory!" His voice boomed across the distance between them. She turned and stopped. He jogged toward her. "Was there something---" he asked stopping a few feet in front of her.
"I'm not okay with pretending Jess. I'm sick of pretending to be a proper socialite for Logan's friends and family. I'm sick of pretending that I don't think about you all the time. I can't pretend that I don't love you. I tried, in there, but I couldn't. I just don't know what to do. We can't possibly make a relationship work after all the trouble we've been through and now that we are so far away. I just don't know ---"
He wrapped his arms tightly around her, covering her from the rain. She sobbed into his shoulder.
A/N: I just couldn't leave them apart. It was real, but it was sad. I love me the R/J. Anyway, reviews are cool. So, think about reviewing. Thanks! Lyrics are "Where'd You Go" from Ashley Parker Angel's forthcoming album.