My Dearest Alistair;
This is the hardest letter I have ever tried to write. I will be gone when you read this and I hope you can forgive me and yourself. I know that you will be angry that I took away your choice to save me. I remember how hard it was for you when Duncan saved your life by leaving you out of the battle at Ostagar. I finally understand why he did what he did. I think he knew then that he would not survive the battle and that we had too in order to end the blight. I know one of us will die slaying the arch demon. Riordan has said it will be his job to slay the demon, but I know in my heart it will not be and I think you do too. I cannot let you die knowing I can save you. I know you feel the same way about me, but I will make sure you do not get to make the choice. I hope you will forgive me for this my love. And you must forgive yourself too. It is not your fault; I am leaving you no options. You must go on.
You are my strength. There have been many times since I became a Grey Warden that I wanted to give up, to run away and leave this for someone else to finish. Then I would look at you and suddenly I had the strength to go on. Loving you gave me that strength. I was warned that when you loved it would be with your whole soul. No one warned me that when I loved it would be the same. Wynn told me that duty could tear us apart, but it's not duty, it is love that is letting me make this decision. I do not want to die and leave you. I want to be selfish and be with you forever; but that is not meant to be. Know that I will love you always even onto death.
Do not let my death stop you from being the man you are. You are stronger than that. Do not let your grief consume you. I want you to be happy. I know you will always carry me in your heart but do not be afraid to love again when the chance comes your way. It will come your way, you are easy to love. You are the best man I have ever know, Duncan would be proud of you. You deserve to be happy, never doubt that.
I will love you always;
Natia
PS: Take care of my Mabari, maybe you can comfort each other. (Remember to say away from his food)