1 Title: BIG FELLOWSHIP
Author: Doodlez
Chapter: 2
MONDAY (still)
12:30 PM
Big Fellowship calls everyone into the living room for a meeting, and to tell them what the special task-o'-the-week is. Aragorn and Borimir are the first to show up, sweaty and breathing hard from their tennis match. They take a seat next to each other on one of the leather couches, waiting for the others. Legolas and Gimli enter next, hair smooth and gleaming from the many strokes of a brush, and neatly braided. They sit on the other side of the couch.
After a few quiet minutes, the hobbits scamper in, still drying themselves off. Pippin and Merry are still dripping bath water, and Sam has bubbles in his hair. Legolas looks up, sniffing the air and slanting his eyes, shooting an accusational glance at the halflings. "…I smell Herbal Essence shampoo…my Herbal Essence shampoo…"
Frodo looks up innocently from his seat on the other couch next to Sam, Merry, and Pippin. "Are you saying you think we've been in your shampoo?"
"Yes, I am. And I don't think you have. I know you have." Legolas begins twitching and huffing. Elves are deadly when it comes to cosmetics. Gimli pats Legolas on the back, trying to calm him down. "Now, now, Lego…" Borimir and Aragorn exchange glances at Gimli's pet name for Legolas.
Legolas stands up, turning a furious red in the cheeks, his hand reaching for his bow and quiver of arrows. "I cook, I clean, I protect you against Orcs, and this is how you repay me?? By using my shampoo?! How DARE you even THINK such a thing!"
The hobbits fidget nervously in their seats, remembering that this is exactly how Arwen had gotten voted off. They cringe, expecting Legolas to do something worthy of Oprah. Gimli stands up and gently guides Legolas out of the room for a private talk. Only Legolas's back is seen. The elf nods a few times in reply to Gimli's soothing words (Only "promise", "forgive", and "cooperation" are heard audibly), they hug, and return to the living room. Legolas takes a seat in a large pink comfortable chair and scoots it away from the hobbits' couch before settling down. Gimli hops onto one of the pink armrests and sits. Legolas stares at Gimli's back for a long time, seemingly forgetting about the shampoo incident-at least, for the moment.
12:45 PM
It took about five minutes for everyone to realize that someone was missing.
"Hey, where's Gandalf?" Borimir asks suddenly, breaking the silence.
"Sleeping. Go wake him up, Borimir." Aragorn nudges Borimir in the side.
"No! Remember what happened to Saruman? The carpet wouldn't stop smoldering for weeks, and he voted himself off in the end."
"His nails were too long, anyway…" mumbles Sam.
"Not to mention wearing white after labor day," adds Frodo quietly.
"Everyone," begins Merry. "Let's vote for this. Let's all agree on one person to go-"
"Big Fellowship," came the unanimous reply.
"It works. Everyone hates 'im anyway. Don't matter if Gandalf tosses 'im around a bit, eh?" Pippin says.
"I resent that. But I'll go wake him up anyway. Not because you asked me, but because he needs to be here." Big Fellowship grumbles, and a moment later, 'Good Morning, Good Morning' by the Beatles plays full blast throughout the house.
"NOTHING TO DO TO SAVE HIS LIFE CALL HIS WIFE IN
NOTHING TO SAY BUT WHAT'S A DAY HOW'S YOUR BOY BEEN
NOTHING TO DO IT'S UP TO YOU
I'VE GOT NOTHING TO SAY BUT IT'S OKAY
GOOD MORNING, GOOD MORNING!!!………"
Everyone in the living room claps their hands over their ears and cringes. The music finally dies down (It took a bit longer for Big Fellowship to stop belting out the lyrics), and the Company turns to the hallway leading to Gandalf's room.
A low roar rumbles down the hall to the living room, and a bedraggled Gandalf storms inside, wielding his staff, setting the drapes on fire, firing random lightning bolts, etc. "BLOODY HELL LET ME SLEEP!!" The cameras in the living room go fuzzy, and blank out to darkness and static. There's only an audio recording from then on:
"G-gandalf! Calm down!"
"Get back, Aragorn! Cranky wizards pack a massive punch!"
"YOU'RE ALL DELIBERATELY TRYING TO DEPRIVE ME OF MY MUCH NEEDED REST!"
"Gandalf! No! The china cabinet!"
"Duck, Master Frodo!"
FWOOSH.
"My hair! My hair!"
"Stop squirming, Legolas, let me put out the flames!"
SPLASH.
"Oops, heh, sorry, Borimir."
"Gimli! You butterfingers!!"
"Pippin, look out!"
"Mister Gandalf-"
WHUMP.
"Fool of a Took!—Unhand me, you ruffians!"
"Good; he's on the ground! Hold him down, I'll get some rope!"
"Hurry, Merry!"
Not much is heard besides the sounds of a struggle and random shout-outs ("My staff! You DARE take away a wizard's staff!!!") until Merry comes back with the rope.
"Merry! 'S about time! Queek, I got 'is legs! Ooch, me foot… Strider, get offa me foot…"
"Sorry, Pippin."
The cameras slowly blink back on, and a Ringwraith-only visible to the viewers-is seen in front, giving a thumbs up, and glides away with the other Nazguls, all carrying mechanical repair equipment and such.
Gandalf is on the ground, bound and gagged, his staff put safely away in a cupboard. The Fellowship seat him up comfortably on the couch, resume their original positions, and sit quietly, waiting for Big Fellowship's chat.
Author: Doodlez
Chapter: 2
MONDAY (still)
12:30 PM
Big Fellowship calls everyone into the living room for a meeting, and to tell them what the special task-o'-the-week is. Aragorn and Borimir are the first to show up, sweaty and breathing hard from their tennis match. They take a seat next to each other on one of the leather couches, waiting for the others. Legolas and Gimli enter next, hair smooth and gleaming from the many strokes of a brush, and neatly braided. They sit on the other side of the couch.
After a few quiet minutes, the hobbits scamper in, still drying themselves off. Pippin and Merry are still dripping bath water, and Sam has bubbles in his hair. Legolas looks up, sniffing the air and slanting his eyes, shooting an accusational glance at the halflings. "…I smell Herbal Essence shampoo…my Herbal Essence shampoo…"
Frodo looks up innocently from his seat on the other couch next to Sam, Merry, and Pippin. "Are you saying you think we've been in your shampoo?"
"Yes, I am. And I don't think you have. I know you have." Legolas begins twitching and huffing. Elves are deadly when it comes to cosmetics. Gimli pats Legolas on the back, trying to calm him down. "Now, now, Lego…" Borimir and Aragorn exchange glances at Gimli's pet name for Legolas.
Legolas stands up, turning a furious red in the cheeks, his hand reaching for his bow and quiver of arrows. "I cook, I clean, I protect you against Orcs, and this is how you repay me?? By using my shampoo?! How DARE you even THINK such a thing!"
The hobbits fidget nervously in their seats, remembering that this is exactly how Arwen had gotten voted off. They cringe, expecting Legolas to do something worthy of Oprah. Gimli stands up and gently guides Legolas out of the room for a private talk. Only Legolas's back is seen. The elf nods a few times in reply to Gimli's soothing words (Only "promise", "forgive", and "cooperation" are heard audibly), they hug, and return to the living room. Legolas takes a seat in a large pink comfortable chair and scoots it away from the hobbits' couch before settling down. Gimli hops onto one of the pink armrests and sits. Legolas stares at Gimli's back for a long time, seemingly forgetting about the shampoo incident-at least, for the moment.
12:45 PM
It took about five minutes for everyone to realize that someone was missing.
"Hey, where's Gandalf?" Borimir asks suddenly, breaking the silence.
"Sleeping. Go wake him up, Borimir." Aragorn nudges Borimir in the side.
"No! Remember what happened to Saruman? The carpet wouldn't stop smoldering for weeks, and he voted himself off in the end."
"His nails were too long, anyway…" mumbles Sam.
"Not to mention wearing white after labor day," adds Frodo quietly.
"Everyone," begins Merry. "Let's vote for this. Let's all agree on one person to go-"
"Big Fellowship," came the unanimous reply.
"It works. Everyone hates 'im anyway. Don't matter if Gandalf tosses 'im around a bit, eh?" Pippin says.
"I resent that. But I'll go wake him up anyway. Not because you asked me, but because he needs to be here." Big Fellowship grumbles, and a moment later, 'Good Morning, Good Morning' by the Beatles plays full blast throughout the house.
"NOTHING TO DO TO SAVE HIS LIFE CALL HIS WIFE IN
NOTHING TO SAY BUT WHAT'S A DAY HOW'S YOUR BOY BEEN
NOTHING TO DO IT'S UP TO YOU
I'VE GOT NOTHING TO SAY BUT IT'S OKAY
GOOD MORNING, GOOD MORNING!!!………"
Everyone in the living room claps their hands over their ears and cringes. The music finally dies down (It took a bit longer for Big Fellowship to stop belting out the lyrics), and the Company turns to the hallway leading to Gandalf's room.
A low roar rumbles down the hall to the living room, and a bedraggled Gandalf storms inside, wielding his staff, setting the drapes on fire, firing random lightning bolts, etc. "BLOODY HELL LET ME SLEEP!!" The cameras in the living room go fuzzy, and blank out to darkness and static. There's only an audio recording from then on:
"G-gandalf! Calm down!"
"Get back, Aragorn! Cranky wizards pack a massive punch!"
"YOU'RE ALL DELIBERATELY TRYING TO DEPRIVE ME OF MY MUCH NEEDED REST!"
"Gandalf! No! The china cabinet!"
"Duck, Master Frodo!"
FWOOSH.
"My hair! My hair!"
"Stop squirming, Legolas, let me put out the flames!"
SPLASH.
"Oops, heh, sorry, Borimir."
"Gimli! You butterfingers!!"
"Pippin, look out!"
"Mister Gandalf-"
WHUMP.
"Fool of a Took!—Unhand me, you ruffians!"
"Good; he's on the ground! Hold him down, I'll get some rope!"
"Hurry, Merry!"
Not much is heard besides the sounds of a struggle and random shout-outs ("My staff! You DARE take away a wizard's staff!!!") until Merry comes back with the rope.
"Merry! 'S about time! Queek, I got 'is legs! Ooch, me foot… Strider, get offa me foot…"
"Sorry, Pippin."
The cameras slowly blink back on, and a Ringwraith-only visible to the viewers-is seen in front, giving a thumbs up, and glides away with the other Nazguls, all carrying mechanical repair equipment and such.
Gandalf is on the ground, bound and gagged, his staff put safely away in a cupboard. The Fellowship seat him up comfortably on the couch, resume their original positions, and sit quietly, waiting for Big Fellowship's chat.