-o-o-o-
"Calliope!" Arizona screamed, rushing into the room, a huge smile plastered across her face. "Come see this!"
"What?" Callie jumped up from her place on a chair in the waiting room where she'd just informed a family their daughter was in fact going to regain full use of her left arm. She smiled, following quickly after her speedy wife. "Arizona, what is it?"
She found herself in a room with an ultrasound. Arizona picked up the wand and pushed down the top of her pants. "Calliope, I'm pregnant!" She used her free hand to point at the screen.
They'd been trying for months. Months. Almost a year, actually. Arizona would shoot up on fertility drugs, then go through artificial insemination. A few weeks later, she would take a test, praying this would be the time, but it never was. Even with all the time she spent in weird positions on the couch, legs above her head, nothing. Until now.
"Callie! There's a baby!" She looked as if she was going to cry. There were a couple of times when the tests would come out positive, but when it came time to do an ultrasound, no dice. When the test came out positive this time, she tried her best not to hold her breath, waiting until enough time had passed that the baby would appear on a scan.
"That's our baby?" Callie asked, her red lips curving to match the blond's smile. "We're having a baby!" She threw her arms around her wife, tightly at first, then loosening up, worried about hurting the fetus. She pulled back and furrowed her brow. "Wait, why are you doing this yourself? You should've gotten Lucy to do it."
Arizona shrugged, looking down. "I was afraid it would be nothing again. That I would have just imagined being sick or something and we'd find out there was no baby. I thought if I did it myself, at least it wouldn't be so embarrassing."
"I don't think she's judging you, Zona. She knows how much we want this baby."
"Yeah, but I can't handle pity looks. I hate pity looks."
"I know, but future scans should probably be done by her, don't you think?"
Arizona pouted, "I'm a doctor too. I'm awesome."
"Awesome as you are, you should probably still have a doctor, unless you have some freaky gymnastic abilities and will be able to deliver our child yourself."
"Point taken." Arizona laughed. "I can't believe it! I'm actually pregnant!" She wheeled off into the hallway, spinning in a circle with excitement. Callie couldn't help but laugh at how adorable she looked.
-o-o-o-
Arizona plopped down on the couch heavily. She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. "This is exhausting!" she said to no one in particular. Callie was still at the hospital and Sofia was with Mark for the night. She contemplated whether to eat or just go to bed. She was hungry, but she felt so nauseous that she would probably throw up after the first bite. And her bed was far away. She settled on curling up on the couch, silently patting herself on the back for wearing sweats instead of jeans that morning.
She groaned and laid down on her side, laying her head against the soft armrest and closing her eyes.
And then...beeping. Arizona whimpered with disappointment and fatigue when she realized her pager was going off. "No," she cried to herself. "I'm sleeping!"
Wiping the tears of frustration from her eyes, she sat up a little too fast, getting dizzy. Steadying herself for a moment, she checked her pager, cursing. She pulled on her jacket and headed back to the hospital.
"Wow, you look like hell," Alex remarked as she jogged up to him as quickly as she could manage without throwing up.
She made a snarky face at him. "Shove it Karev," she said, taking on her wife's usual tone. This no-coffee thing was really getting to her. "I'm not in the mood. Just tell me why you paged me."
Alex backed off slightly, not used to Arizona being anything less than chipper. She hadn't told anyone yet about the baby, besides Callie. As a result, she assumed Mark knew, and Bailey kept giving her weird looks, so it was possible she'd figured it out too. "Six year old snuck out at night and got hit by a car."
"Crap," she sighed, entering the room. She found out the patient's name was Kailey and inspected her injuries. She couldn't help but noticed the piercing blue eyes and dimples which reminded her so much of her own. It caused a small shudder to run up her spine.
Arizona pulled Alex aside so the girl's parents didn't get too worried. "Page Shepherd and order a head CT. She might have brain trauma."
"On it." Alex left the room and Arizona turned back to talk to the parents.
"Okay, well, it looks like Kailey might have badly hurt her head, so we're going to run some tests, just to make sure she doesn't need surgery."
The parents looked terrified and immediately the mother pounced on her with as many questions as she could come up with. Arizona was relieved when she was finally able to take Kailey down to her test. She was running out of comforting answers with the mother's mind running at a hundred miles a second.
Derek joined them as they were setting up Kailey, instructing her to remain very still. As the image began to appear, Dr. Shepherd studied it closely. His brow furrowed and he said, "I need you to book an OR stat. This girl has internal bleeding. It's a wonder she's still alive, let alone conscious."
Arizona sucked in her breath as the nurses took Kailey and began to prep her for surgery. She took off toward the OR, sending Karev to talk to the parents. She was hit with a wave of butterflies, nerves she hadn't felt since - well probably forever. She wasn't a nervous person. She wasn't a timid person or someone who backed down from a challenge. Especially with surgeries. She was Arizona Robbins - a good man in a storm. But now, in this storm, she wasn't feeling quite so confident. Why was she nervous this time?
Her hands trembled as she watched Dr. Shepherd do his work, thankful to just be observing for the time being. He noticed though. He could see her fear.
"Dr. Robbins?" he asked. "Is something wrong?"
"No, no," she shook her head unconvincingly. "Everything is fine."
"Are you sure about that?"
She choked for a minute, "Yeah, I'm great."
Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of the monitors as they began detect something was off. "Crap!" Derek muttered, then began spewing instructions at her. She stared at him, her eyes wide with fear. "Dr. Robbins!" he exclaimed. "Arizona!" She snapped back to reality, realizing the nurses were all staring at her and began doing what he asked. Thankfully within a few minutes, Shepherd's work paid off.
He looked up at her a moment once Kailey was stable. "I'd like you to sit this one out."
She looked between Kailey and Derek and nodded, stepping backward and holding back tears. She'd never frozen like that before - especially during surgery "I'll, uh, I'll page Karev. He can assist on this one."
Arizona practically bolted out of the room, finding Alex waiting just outside. "You, uh, you need to assist on this one. Scrub in."
"Are you -"
"Now, Karev!" she exclaimed. He did as he was asked and took off into the OR. She watched the rest from the gallery, hanging her head in her hands. What the hell had just happened there?
-o-o-o-
Collapsed into herself, Arizona remained in the gallery for awhile, beating herself up for what had happened earlier. She was a good doctor - no, a great doctor. She was great. Until this.
"What happened down there earlier?" Derek asked as he entered, causing her to shoot up from her hunched position.
She looked at him and shrugged, still on the brink of tears. She opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn't quite form the words.
"It's not like you to freeze like that," he said, concerned. He took the seat two down from her and stared at her. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"
She looked at him with wet eyes and he noticed the dark circles.
"Is it Callie? Are you two okay?"
She smiled briefly, thinking of her wife. "We're fine. I just-I just got scared."
"Of what?" he asked.
"I just kept thinking how much...I kept thinking 'What if that was my daughter?' and I freaked. I know it's stupid, but...she had eyes just like mine." Without realizing it, Arizona had laid her left hand on her stomach. "And she had dimples! Sweet little dimples."
Derek thought of Sofia, realizing she had none of those traits. She had a few of Sloan's features, but mostly she looked like Callie. That's when he noticed Arizona's hand, protectively guarding her stomach. "This isn't about Sofia, is it?"
She looked at him, questioningly.
"I know you love her, but you were thinking of someone else, weren't you?"
Taken off-guard, she quickly moved her hand and looked away from him. In her head, she debated telling him, saying she should wait for Callie. "No. I mean... Yes... Well, it was about Sofia because I love her so much. She's my baby. My mini-Callie." Arizona's eyes lit up as she thought of the precious girl. Despite her best efforts, though, her mouth continued, "But it's more than that. It's not just her."
Derek nodded, not saying anything.
"One little girl with three doctors for parents. And two more for godparents. We could protect her from almost anything. But a second one...Another baby to worry about. Another chance one of them could get hurt or get sick." She felt hot tears streaming down her face. "I don't know if I can handle another one," she sobbed.
Derek took her hand. "You're pregnant, aren't you?"
Arizona nodded. "Don't tell, okay? Callie and I were going to tell people together."
"I won't, I promise." Derek moved the hair from her face, releasing it from the salty hold of her wet tears. "Arizona, you and Callie are great moms. Even Mark agrees! And you know if anything ever happened to Sofia or to this child, you'd have the entire hospital fighting to save her. There's no one here that wouldn't do anything they could for you and Callie."
Arizona bit her lip and smiled, her dimples making a brief appearance. She and Derek had never really been close, but talking with him had helped. She hadn't even realized how scared she'd been until this happened. "Thanks," she told him.
Smiling back at her, he replied, "No problem. Are you feeling better now?"
She nodded and went to stand, but thought better of it when a wave of nausea hit her. "I might just stay here a moment," she laughed.
"Do you want me to stay with you? Or find Callie?"
"No, I'm good."
Derek left Arizona alone with her thoughts. He was right, the whole hospital had banded together to save Callie and Sofia after the crash a few years ago. If, God forbid, that ever happened again, they would be there for her and her family.
She leaned back and propped her legs up against the ledge of the window, closing her eyes for just a moment.