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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
Hermione's alarm clock went off for the third time, but she simply rolled over and put yet another pillow over her head. Her bedroom door opened. "Sweetheart, you need to get up. You have to be at the train station by ten," her father said, opening her blinds.
Bright, burning light hit her eyelids. "Ah, okay, I'm up," she whined.
"Hermione, you used to be such a morning person. I'll grab your bags," her father chuckled before leaving her room.
Hermione sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Yeah, I used to be a morning person. Back when I wasn't pregnant or sleeping for two," she mumbled. She showered and wondered when she would start showing. Then again, she made no guarantees that she would keep the baby so she could possibly never have to worry about it.
Afterward, she went downstairs and sat at the breakfast table. The smell of all the food made her queasy. She barely ate her two pieces of toast. Her mother, who was reading a paper, looked at her. "Now, Hermione, I'm not sure things won't run smoothly today but try not to make them worse, alright."
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.
Her mother put the paper down and folded her arms. "All I'm saying is-"
"What? Don't act like a scarlet woman? I'll do my best," Hermione cut in, getting up. "I'll write," she said in passing as she gathered her stuffed and Apparated.
A second later, she was in front of the train station. Usually she felt a cozy, familiar feeling in her heart, but today she felt distant and tense. Hermione had to tell Ron. All week she tried to find a good way to bring it up, but all she had was: "Hey, Ron, did you nice a summer? I've been okay. I got some news though. I'm pregnant, but don't worry you're the father."
"I can't do this," Hermione said, getting on the train. It was mostly empty. She went back where the Prefects and Head Boy and girl sat. McGonagall and Harry were already sitting down.
"Oh, Ms. Granger, I was just about to go over the agenda for the school year with Mr. Potter," Professor said. Hermione smiled and sat down. The whole conversation went on, and Hermione pretended to care.
"Blimey, I'm going to be busy this year. Captain duties and Head Boy duties will be bloody hell," Harry said sometime later after professor left.
"Yes, Head Girl and mother duties will give me hell, too," Hermione whispered shortly.
Harry sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. How are you feeling?"
Hermione held her stomach. "I feel incredibly sick, but I don't think it's from the baby."
"Are you ready to tell Ron?" he asked.
"No, but I have to. I thought after we got some patrolling completed I'd tell him," Hermione explained.
Harry and Hermione were supposed to patrol the entire train but she tried her best to stay away from where the six and seventh years sat. She was already nervous and the last thing she needed was a reminder of the past. After awhile she went back to her compartment. She sat staring at her hands and trying to find the right words.
"Um, I'm done. You want to give it a go?" Harry asked, sliding the door open. Hermione looked up at him and nodded. "I can go get him if you want," he added, looking a little nervous as well.
She stood up and straightened her clothes "No, I want to go, too."
Harry and Hermione made their way back toward the end of the train. It was the more popular place to go. Hermione saw Lavender and Parvati as she past a compartment. They rolled their eyes at her. They past a compartment full of Slytherns and they gave catcalls.
"Hey, love, do you wanna come sit on my lap?" One of them asked while opening the door. Hermione closed her eyes and kept walking.
"Sod off, Jackson, and twenty points!" Harry yelled back.
"You don't have to do that," Hermione said.
"Yeah, I do," Harry said, opening a compartment door.
"Hey babe," a female voice said. Hermione walked in front of the door. Neville, Luna, and Ron all stared at her. Ginny finished her kiss with Harry and gave her a once over before turning her attention back to Harry. "So how was patrolling?" she asked as if Hermione wasn't even visible.
"It was fine I reckon," Harry answered, looking from Hermione to Ron. Ron stared directly at her and her insides twisted and burned. It wasn't until that moment that she truly realized how much she had missed him. Sure, she felt the pain and loneliness but seeing him again brought back all the things that she had needed desperately.
"Hello, Hermione," Luna said smiling. Hermione gave a phony smile.
"Did you have a nice summer?" Neville chimed in.
"Oh, um, yes, it was okay," Hermione said, trying not to look to at Ron. Neville gave her a wink and her confidence grew a little. "Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to Ron for a moment."
Ron's face was blank. "I have nothing to say to you," he said simply.
Hermione held her hands together for support. "Well, that may be but I have something to tell you."
"That's too bloody bad because he doesn't want to hear it!" Ginny shot.
"Gin, this has nothing to do with you. Hermione and I have something to talk to Ron about," Harry said. Ginny closed her mouth and sat back.
Ron looked from his sister to Harry. "Make this quick," he said, getting up and walking past Hermione. She slightly gasped as he brushed against her but she couldn't live in it. They followed him out and headed towards their compartment.
When they got in, Ron sat at a booth. Harry closed the door and sat in a booth opposite him. Hermione sat by Harry. She chewed on her lip and tried to find the words to start but was distracted. Ron's long and thin legs were sprawled out. His red hair was as messy and vibrant as ever and he had his tie loose and shirt un-tuck. Ron looked so incredibly gorgeous and it didn't help that his blue eyes were burning a hole in her heart.
"So, what do you want?" Ron asked, breaking Hermione out of her trance.
"Well, Hermione and I have something important to tell you, and you need to listen," Harry said, nodding to Hermione and raising his eyebrows.
She took a breath and looked at Ron. "Okay, over the summer I got some tests done because I was feeling a bit ill and when I got the results back...they weren't what I'd thought they'd be," she said slowly.
It was quiet for a bit.
Ron shrugged. "Okay," he said.
Harry nudged her in the side. She jumped and continued. "Well, it turns out that I'm not sick…but I'm…pregnant. I'm two months pregnant actually," Hermione explained.
Once again, it was quiet. Ron blinked several times. His face went from vacant to amusement. "You're pregnant? Damn, Hermione, I always thought you were a good storyteller, but I must admit that this is a bit cliché."
Hermione felt her heart drop. It had taken so much courage to let it all out and Ron was practically laughing at her. "Ron, this isn't a story. I am pregnant and it's your baby," she said.
Ron snorted. "Oh, come on. Don't try that shit with me."
"Ron, it's not shit. She is pregnant, I swear. Hermione, show him the letter," Harry ordered.
Hermione tried to pull the letter out of her cloak but Ron held his hand up. "That doesn't mean anything. She could have written it herself, or even you could have written it. For fuck sake, Harry, why are you helping her do this?"
"I'm not helping her do anything. This is the truth. I wouldn't lie to you and you know that," Harry tried to explain.
"Ron, I wouldn't ask him to lie for me. I'm telling the truth. This is real," Hermione urged.
Ron gave her a look. "Why in the bloody hell would I ever believe you?"
Hermione felt her throat and eyes sting. "N-now I know you have every right not to trust me and every right to be mad, but I wouldn't lie about this."
"Well, you're right I don't believe you, but you're wrong about how I feel. I'm not mad. I'm fucking furious. I can't believe that I agreed to come and talk to you…especially after…" He shook his head and stood. "It doesn't even matter,"
Harry grabbed his arm. "Ron wait-"
"No, Harry, I respected you when you said you wouldn't take a side, but I reckon over the summer she convinced you otherwise. Hermione does have a way of getting what she wants," Ron spat.
"Ron, don't say that!" Hermione yelled as tears clouded her eyes.
"How can you be like this? You know that I would never do that to you," Harry asked, letting him go.
Ron's jaw dropped. "How can I be like what? Harry, did you go mad over the summer? I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm protecting myself from her and I'm now asking myself if I need to do the same in your case. I'm not the bad person here so stop making me feel that way."
"I will when you stop giving me reason to," Harry said.
"Then fuck you, Harry. Pick a side or bugger off!" Ron shouted. He then rounded on Hermione. "Don't you ever try and feed me your half-cocked story again. It's pathetic and only makes the situation worse." It was clear that he was trying to keep his composer.
"Ron...please don't," Hermione choked as he headed for the door.
He turned around. His eyes were slightly wet. "Even if you are pregnant, Hermione, it's not mine. Don't you remember why I broke up with you in the first place?" Hermione looked away and let her tears blister down her face. She felt stupid. There was no reason for her to assume that Ron would forgive and forget. "Don't worry I won't tell anyone about this," he added before leaving and slamming the door behind him.
Harry sat next to her. "We'll try again tomorrow I guess. I'll talk to him some more tonight and hopefully he'll calm down."
"No, no more tries," she whispered.
"What does that mean?" he asked.
"What do you think, Harry? It means it's over. I'm getting it done," she declared.
Harry shook his head. "No, we only gave it one go. Ron will come around. He just needs some time-"
"I don't have a whole lot of time. If he won't believe me now, he won't later. Not in a day or in a week. I'll just get an…abortion. I really don't care anyway. I want this out of me before it messes up my life anymore than it already has." Hermione's words made her feel repulsed with herself. She didn't think she would ever be so heartless to speak in such a way.
Harry's shoulders slouched in defeat. "Hermione I-"
"I'm not looking for your blessing just your support," Hermione cut in.
Harry smiled sadly. "Of course I'll support you. I'll be there for you with whatever you choose to do," he said.
Hermione spent the remainder of the train ride alone. Harry had to get back to Ginny. She tried to think of a way she could pull it off without Ron but she kept concluding that she couldn't and she didn't want to.
When they got to school Hermione wanted to go immediately to her private room, but she had to stay for the announcements. While a lot of the Gryffindors ignored her or gave her dirty looks, the Slytherns gave her nothing but attention. While getting her seat a Slythern grabbed her arse and whispered, "When do I get my turn?" Luckily, Harry didn't see it, but Lavender did. She laughed.
Hermione felt as if she was in hell. Slytherns behind her kept giving catcalls and Ron, who was sitting in front of her, kept ignoring her. As soon as dinner arrived, Hermione went to her room. She walked in and for a moment her agony disappeared. She was in awe. The room was a large room and had it's own toilet. She also had a desk with side tables and a wardrobe. The bed was about the same size as the one in her room at home. She quickly changed and laid down in it.
Her stomach grumbled but she didn't have to courage to go back to the Great Hall. She would never be able to eat with everyone either ignoring her, staring at her, or giving her grief. She sighed and fluffed her pillow.
There was a knock at her door and it made her heart skip a beat. She had no idea who would want to visit her and a small voice in her head told her it was Ron. However, when Hermione opened the door, Harry stood on the other side with a napkin and a juice cup.
"I figured you'd be hungry," he said. Hermione smiled and let him in. It was a relief but also a bit of a disappointment. She took the napkin and hastily ate the chicken leg and muffin that was inside. "So, are you okay?" Harry asked.
Hermione swallowed hard. "No, but hopefully I will be. I'll write the letter tonight," she said, wiping her mouth and taking a sip of juice.
"You know we can give this another go. I can talk to Ron," he said.
She patted his hand. "I know but it won't matter. I thought about it and there's no positive outcome for this. Besides, I don't want you in the middle of us again. He got mad at you because of me."
"We're fine," he tired.
"Harry, please, let it go," she said gently.
"What if Ron does bring this up one day?" he asked.
"I don't know. Tell him I was lying, but you didn't know," Hermione offered.
Harry gave her a look. "No, that's mental!"
"Harry, Ron already hates me." Her throat hurt saying this. It was an ugly truth that would never go away. "I have nothing to lose, but you do. You don't want to lose him or Ginny for that matter do you?" Harry shook his head again. "See, neither do I, so just let it go. Look, can we talk some more tomorrow? I'm really tired," Hermione said, feeling tears burn her eyes.
She walked Harry to the door. "I'm really sorry about this. I wish things were different," Harry said, hugging her.
Hermione hugged him back. "Me too, and thanks for the dinner," she said. Harry gave her hand a squeeze and went to his own room. Hermione closed the door and sat to her desk. She took out a quill and a piece of parchment from the drawer. As she wrote her letter, she thought about why she and Ron broke up, and why Harry instead of Ron might be in the room next to her own.
Flashback
All Hermione knew was that there had been a massive fight, major punches, and Ron was involved. She practically sprinted to the hospital wing. She looked around and soon left. He was in there but not Ron. She went to the Gryffindor Common Room next. There was a small crowd by the stairway. Lavender and Parvati rushed over to her.
"Oh my Merlin! I had no idea Ron had that in him," Parvati said.
"I know! I wish I had someone to do that for me. You're so lucky, Hermione. What were you thinking when you saw it? Did you think it was romantic?" Lavender asked.
Hermione frowned. "I didn't see anything. I was in the library and I overheard some people talking about. Where is Ron?" The two girls both pointed to the stairs. Hermione pushed her way through the crowd and ran up the stairs. She barged into the 6th year Gryffindor boys' room without so much as a knock. Inside was cheering and laughter.
"It's about bloody time you got here. Did you see your boyfriend?" Seamus asked.
"Even if she saw it, it's unbelievable. I didn't know Ron could do that," Dean chimed in.
"Paul has to be at least five kilos bigger," Neville added.
"If not more than that. Hermione, Ron was brilliant," Harry finished.
Hermione looked at him. He was sitting on Neville's bed with Ron. She ignored the slight panic at hearing Paul's name. "I need to talk to Ron alone, please," she said. All the guys gave catcalls as they left.
"Put your tie around the knob if you need to, mate," Harry said cheerfully, patting Ron on the back. He winked at her before closing the door behind him.
Hermione shook her head at their immaturity and sat next to him. Ron turned his face to her. His bottom lip was swollen, his nose was bloody, and he had a bruise forming over his left eye.
"Love, it's not as bad as you think," he said through his nose.
"Oh, Ron, hush!" Hermione ordered, taking her wand and ridding his face of the blood. "Now tell me what happened." She touched his nose.
Ron hissed. "I took Paul out," he said simply.
Hermione's heart skipped a beat. "Why would you do something like that? He's a lot bigger than you and could have really hurt you."
Ron rolled his eyes. "Well, he didn't. You should see what he looks like," he said rather proudly.
Hermione couldn't help but chuckle. "I did. He looks dreadful," she said. Ron smirked. "That still doesn't tell me anything," she added.
"Hermione, I took him out because he was pissing with me. He was saying things that should not have been talked about at all," he explained.
A bit of fear grew inside her chest. "What about?" she asked. Ron shrugged. "Come on, Ron, what did he say that made you so angry that you risked your badge and Head Boy position?" Hermione questioned.
Ron snorted painfully. "I don't give a shit about that stuff," he said.
"But I do. So tell me. Was it about Ginny again?" Hermione asked, hoping that it was.
Paul Douglas was a 7th year Slythern who gave Ron and Ginny hell every chance he could get. The Douglas', like a lot of the families who had children in the Slythern house, did not like the Weasleys' stand on muggle rights and protection laws. He was a lot like Draco only he carried out his threats. He didn't mind getting violent with either of them.
Ron shook his head. "No, it wasn't about her. It was about you."
Hermione felt her stomach flip. "W-what about me?" she whispered.
"I don't want to talk about it," he said, looking away.
Hermione gently turned his face toward her. "I do. What was he saying about me?" she asked.
Ron's ears turned red. "It was horrible. The things he said were just disgusting and made me sick. I know he hates me but even that was too much," he explained.
The anticipation was eating at her. "Ron tell me please," she urged.
He exhaled deeply. "Fine. After dinner when everyone was clearing away, Paul said very loudly so that the entire Great Hall could hear that he shagged you many times. He went into detail with the Slytherns about things you two have apparently done to each other," Ron explained slowly.
Hermione felt her heart race. She couldn't believe what she was wearing. Nightmare after nightmare hadn't prepared her for this. "H-he did? Paul said he did things to me in the library?" she asked more to herself.
"Yeah, he talked about how apparently this one time..." Ron trailed off.
"What?" she asked.
He raised an eyebrow. "Hermione, how did you know that?"
Her face went completely scarlet. Shje could not believe she had let that slip. "Oh, um…well…I just figured. When he tutored me, we would go there a lot," she rushed.
Ron nodded. "Oh, I reckon that's true. Anyway, It's just really strange. I was so angry, and I couldn't take it anymore."
She sighed quietly in relief. "But why now? He's always been like that with you."
He rubbed his neck. "I don't know. He's never said anything about you before so hearing all that shit got to me. It was just so horrible and realistic. Everything he said was entirely too believable and graphic." Hermione like her ears were melting off. She hoped it wasn't noticeable.
Ron looked down then back at her. "Yeah…Paul was pretty realistic and detailed. He may be a Slythern, but he's not that good."
"What are you getting at?" she asked.
"I dunno. I was so angry at the time that I didn't really pay attention to what he was saying but-but a lot of it was real," he said slowly.
Her heart began to fall. "Ron, I…I don't understand." She was lying. She knew perfectly well what he meant and it scared everything inside of her.
Ron shifted in his seat. "Well, how would he know that you have two moles on the inside of your left thigh?" he said.
Hermione shook her head and stood up. She felt like her whole body was on fire now. "Let's not talk about this anymore!"
He didn't listen. "Also, how does Paul know what kind of knickers you own or what color they are?"
"Ron, will you shut up!" Hermione bellowed. She could barely breathe now. It was actually happening.
Ron stood up. "Hermione, what's going on? How could Paul know all that?"
"He made it up!" she cried.
"That's fucking bollocks and you know it! Hermione, he knew that stuff. How did he know? Did you tell him?" he asked. Hermione shook her head, frantically. He paled. "Did…you show him?" he whispered.
Hermione ran to the door. She couldn't do this. She couldn't handle going through this. Ron jumped in front of it. "What in the bloody hell are you doing? Why won't you answer me?" She tried Apparating. "Hermione, tell me what's going on, please," Ron pleaded in a shaky voice.
She didn't want to deny him but she had to. She couldn't put them both through this. "No, I can't!" she sobbed, collapsing to the floor. Tears streamed from her eyes and her muscles ached.
Ron fell to his knees in front of her. "Babe, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Hermione looked at him. His blue eyes were incredibly wet. His bruise was settling and his lip was red and puffy. They were his battle wounds. They were his wounds for protecting her honor. She didn't deserve him.
"You are so beautiful," she choked. "I love you."
Ron blinked and tears fell. "I love you, too," he whispered.
Hermione leaned forward and kissed him. Even though she could taste a bit of blood in his mouth, she loved it. His lips were so soft, and he tasted so good. When she pulled away, she was crying.
"Hermione, you're scaring me," Ron confessed.
Hermione sniffed and wiped her eyes. There was no point in trying to hide it anymore. "Ron, Paul…was telling the truth. You're right. He did know those things first hand. Everything he said is probably true."
"What? Wait…but-but that can't ben. He said a lot. He said…he said so much about. He…so he was right about…" Ron stopped and frowned as if it hurt him to say the words.
She saved him the trouble. "Yes. He was telling the truth. We…we did have sex, and it was more than once," she said, feeling like the world's dirtiest person.
Ron gasped. "What?"
"Ron, you have to understand. It didn't mean anything. It never meant anything. It was stupid and I ended it," she explained.
Ron stood up, shaking his head. "No, no this isn't right. He was lying. You would never do this especially not with him," he said.
Hermione stood up as well. "Ron, I don't like him. I hate Paul and myself for sleeping with him-"
"So why did you?" Ron cut in.
She bit her lip. She didn't quite know the answer herself, and what she did understand she didn't want to say. It sounded too evil and pathetic in her head. "I don't know. After the first time, I just couldn't stop. However, it never meant anything and you have to believe that. Nothing matters but you," she reassured.
He rolled his eyes. "Well it has to mean something. You're letting him shag you!"
"No, Ron, I ended it two months ago," Hermione said.
Ron's eyes grew. "Two months ago! Two months ago! You mean this has been going on all year. You two were fucking over Christmas holiday and Valentine's Day and my birthday. Were you sucking him off on my birthday!" he shouted.
Hermione jumped, feeling sick. Hearing Ron scream at her shattered her and his words turned something rotten in her stomach. It was awful. "Of course not, Ron. You have to understand that it was a mistake. I realized it and I stopped it. I hate him and I love you!"
Ron shook his head and grabbed a fist full of his hair. "You don't love me. If you did, you wouldn't have lied. You wouldn't have cheated on me. You cheated on me, Hermione. You let the one guy that I hate the most be with you. You wanted the one person who has hurt Ginny and I so much in the past to take you. How can you be so heartless?"
She didn't know what to say. He sounded so broken and weak and it was her fault. Everything was her fault. "I-I didn't mean to be. I didn't want him. None of this was simple. You have to understand."
"No, I don't. I don't understand. How could I ever? I love you, Hermione. I bled for you tonight and I risked expulsion for you. It's been two years. For two years I've been nothing but faithful to you and have given you everything I have but you threw it all away," he cried.
Hermione felt her heart completely sink. "Ron I-I l-love you. It's only you I p-promise. I'm so sorry. I never m-meant to h-hurt you. I don't want to throw anything a-away. I want w-what you have," she stuttered in agony.
Ron's bottom lip trembled. "You didn't hurt me. Hurting me would be telling me I'm shit. Hurting me would be not talking to me for a week. No, this is worse. It feels like you killed me. You've killed us and everything inside of me that loves you."
She body froze and a terrible chill took over her. "What are you saying? I'm sorry, okay. Ron, you have to believe that I'm sorry."
Ron had an expression of his face that she had never seen before. His eyes were so dark and unreachable. "I don't care that you're sorry. I won't forgive you for lying and destroying everything that we are. I can't be with you anymore. I don't even want to look at you. I never want to see or talk to you again."
Hermione's eyes were huge. She couldn't breathe. There was no way that she could lose Ron. He couldn't breakup with her. "Ron-"
"Get out," he shot.
Hermione stepped toward him and took his arm. "Ron, please."
He snatched his arm away. "I said get the fuck out! I hate you. I fucking hate you!" he shouted, yanking open the door. Hermione jumped and ran out. She ignored the puzzled faces and whispers. She spent the rest of the night in the bathroom.
End flashback
That had been last June and only two weeks before school let out. Ron had detention everyday and was terminated from Prefect. He didn't talk to her once. Neither did Paul. Those last weeks had been hell for her. Though Ron didn't say anything everyone knew what Paul said was true. Everyone knew they broke up that night and there was only one reason why. Everyday Paul revealed more and more and told everyone everything. Her life became an open journal for everyone to read.
Hermione's friends abandoned her. Ginny gave her quite the yelling and slap. Besides feeling bad for Ron, she felt betrayed. Just a week prior, Paul had tripped her while she carried her hot soup. Ginny couldn't believe Hermione could be so stupid and a terrible friend. Harry was the only one who talked to her. He was furious but decided to stay friends. He tried to bridge the gap between her and everyone else but it didn't work. All her friends thought it was a shame she could do something with such a horrible person. Hermione wondered herself.
Mrs. Weasley wrote her parents about it shortly after school let out. She thought they should give her a good talking to. After that day her mother acted differently and her father never really looked her in the eye. Hermione figured her parents that she was more than a proper slut.
Hermione put her quill down and read the letter.
Dear Dr. Gordon,
I want to schedule an appointment with you so we can discuss the possibility of an abortion.
Hermione Granger
The letter was brief but packed so much emotion that Hermione could hardly stand it. The day Ron broke up with her was the day she died emotionally, but after the procedure, maybe she would die physically.
Author's note: Review and you'll see if she gets it done!
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