DISLAIMER: characters and settings belong the Suzzane Collins. The woman who changed my life, almost.

Author's Note: thank you very much for your reviews! This was supposed to be a one shot but people requested I should continue. I might not continue for chapter 3 unless a handful will review and tell me I should. KATNISS MELLARK. 3

Takes place after Catching Fire, Peeta's POV

I struggle, my whole body leaning against the metallic wall. They inject a long needle in my wrist and I am paralyzed. I don't fight back, my silence aggravate them. Unlike Johanna whom I can hear erupt into piercing screams and terrible curses. This is what Snow wants, what the Capitol wants, to see pain, turn us into mad men, why else would they make us live in torture. They have no use of us. And like what Katniss had said, I will not die as a piece of their games. I will die as myself.

I turn and see two figures drag Johannah next to me. I see her scars, several times as worse than mine. I turn to a bloody cut in her neck, obviously meant to kill her. We weren't allowed to talk but I know that it was because she stays silent. I don't know what is going on but she knew there was a plan, why the force field previously blew up, why Katniss, Finnick and Beetee were rescued. And we are left here to die even if it is only accidental.

"I don't know anything!" Johannah brusquely says, but not believable enough. The two men lift their blade, trying to threaten her but that never works. She is as brave as Katniss, unlike me, I just never say anything. I let them torture me without fighting back. I let myself die. As long as Katniss is safe, nothing else matters to me.

"Girl, we know you know something. We were told, your little victor friends told the Capitol everything that Plutarch said." The blade moves an inch down her face, blood trekking down her scarred skin. I turn to her. Her face is pale as a corpse and shivering harshly from the zero degrees temperature of the room. But I see she is fighting back, still stand and make them think she is stronger. "That damned traitors. It was a mistake of them to fear Snow."

I hear a large burst of the heavy door and a peacekeeper comes in. "Take her to the President. He wants to see her." he pulls her up from her shoulder and gives her to the other two. "Now!" I see them jump in fear and take her out of the room as quickly as they can. He must be commander. I see, he must have taken orders to kill me. Only that I thought Snow would have done it himself.

"Snow has some plans for you, boy." He smirks, I just look down. I'm paralyzed anyway so escaping is only futile. If only I could see her face one more time before I die. It is still impossible, so I create a mental image of her, happy and forgetting about me.

"But since you cannot die, he told me to take the most important thing from you." I look up desperately. What did he mean? Katniss. He meant Katniss. My voice is weak but I struggle to open my mouth. Is she here? Captured and tortured like me. I gasp since I cannot clench my fist. Imagining it is unbearable, what more to see it from my own eyes? "Katniss." I manage to say and he gives me a playful look. He is enjoying this. I know he knows I for one would give my life for her to live. But he is too unmerciful to understand.

"Your girl? No." he laughs as he open the piercing light from the ceiling, looking for a weapon. But what is the torture this time? They had already taken my wooden leg off, planted several scars, and electrified me. What was the use? They know I know nothing. Torture is not necessary. They're not going to kill me either. "Ah. Here is the little darling." I see him settle for a large hammer.

"Torture won't do anything to me." My voice, solid and threatening for the first time but he laughs. I struggle but the poison still paralyzes me. Questions I am unable to answer cross my mind. As long as she is safe, I think over and over again. Recently, this is the only thing that gives me life even I still think death is a better fate. "I'll do more than that."

Then he take out my hand and presses it hard to the cold floor, he laughs again and lifts the hammer. I clench my teeth as the heavy metal smashes into my fingers. I can't scream not a single trace of pain should appear I tell myself but the stinging is unbearable. My hands turn crimson as I hear the cracking of my bones. "Doesn't hurt?" he taunts and slams the weapon in great force until I could feel my bones pulverized. My lips don't move. He wants my cry and I will not give him that.

"Pretending to be the brave boy?" he lifts my hands and play with them. Twisting and bending my fingers out of place. "I'd cut them off but I want you to see the fingers you can never paint with."

Painting. My ability to paint is what Snow wants to take away from me. I look at the horror. My fractured fingers remind me of the brutality. He is right though, he took away an important thing. The one that kept me sane from my nightmares, the one that created the image of her beautiful delicate face, hammered, bloodied and broken.

"Now, give me your left."

I am back, alone at my empty cold darkness. A new pain stinging to my skin, I can move everything but my fingers. The poison must have run out. I smile. They can't hurt me but physically. My dignity is still alive, my life and my love. She's out there, probably leading a revolution. That is why they loathe her name both with fear and anger. Because she's going to take them down. Turn all of Panem to the Capitol. And they are in desperate need to destroy her.

And then it hits me.

They let me live. Only for the sole reason to lure her into rescuing me. To use me as bait, to capture her, because I am still alive, they can destroy her. I clench my teeth. If I don't die, I will kill her, the revolution will die with her and Panem will never be free from the grip of Snow. And it will be my fault and I will die like a criminal.

But maybe she forgot about me, Gale is with her. She is his now. And for all I know she loves him back. I sense a tinge of hope but I still hate the idea that she doesn't want me and she will let me die. Maybe I could just kill myself now, stop breathing for a few seconds. For hers and Panem's sake. Yes, the greatest idea I have ever thought of.

I will end this now.

……

SERIOUSLY, if you don't review, I wont continue and if I don't continue that means PEETA WILL DIE! Yes, now im blackmailing you. Haha. Now I feel like a mad man. im going to kill peeta if you don't review! Haha. P.S. NON USERS CAN REVIEW!