Thank you so, so much for the warm welcome back to the land of Letters from Home. In case you haven't noticed, I'm pretty excited about the story. It's stuck with me for the last couple of years and I'm really, really excited to venture back into these characters. You might have noticed but a lot of the same characters have been mentioned and we are going to see more of their lives post-military careers and trying to fit back into civilian life. A lot of times, this is the hardest for veterans to do, and usually what makes leaving the military so stressful for a lot of them. Add in injuries, both physical and mental and you've got a lot more problems than the government prepares them for.
This story is much based out of the VA system. This is a system I am growing more and more familiar with (and I'll say this now-I'm kind to it in the story and you will see that. While Ally might make it sound like it's fantastic most of the time, this is not the case. People like Sam are far and few between and a lot of the times the staff is more like a character you will meet in the next chapter). Anyway, except for Taylor, who you will see later on in the story, no one is active duty anymore, so we're truly seeing the characters grown up and adjusting to their lives on new levels. Including marriage, which we'll see more of today. ;) Anyway, my whole point to this ramble is that with this story, I'll once again be touching on sensitive topics, some which might be hard to process at times. I pride myself on keeping things truthful and making my story an advocate for what goes on from what I've seen, and I think if I were to shy away from some of the more rough subjects, the story would lose it's grit and integrity. After all, we've seen that military life is not all homecomings and happiness.
That said, I'm all for some Auslly fluff and there will be plenty of that to come. ;) And more fluff between other couples too, so I mean, let's do this.
Let me know what you think. Enjoy!
Ally left the diner a short while later, planning on stopping at the VA on her way home to make sure her paperwork was in order. She was able to secure a large shipment of musical instruments for her program under a state aided grant, something she and the others whom in which she worked were more than proud to accomplish. The state was not so giving these days, budget talks a constant email conversation through which she was reminded almost every week. How could they cut any more programs at the already overbooked and under-funded hospital? Veterans waited months for mental health appointments, sometimes even being told they were pushed back for more 'urgent' cliental. She knew it was a lie: many of the doctors and staff would do anything for a quick day, eager to take personal time and make money.
She would never be one of those. Ally worked too hard on her degree and spent too much time to not give it her all. Each veteran she came across that she could help she did, making sure if she wasn't able to give them what they needed, at least pointing them in the right direction. She couldn't prevent others from doing the bare minimum, but she would always do above and beyond.
This was why she was heading to the office after hours, just to make sure everything was in order. She found the parking lot relatively deserted a few stragglers in her area of assigned parking. No one stayed late, obviously. She parked regardless, heading up the cracked pavement to the air-conditioned main entrance, wondering if she should also check in with the mental health department for any new volunteer opportunities. She often passed them along to Trish and Joye, who tried to put struggling veterans to work with those who were in similar situations.
One of the more friendly receptionists greeted her as she stepped into the TBI area, smiling widely from behind the perfectly groomed desk. "Hi, Ally! How are you?"
"I'm doing fine, thank you," she returned. "Just stopping in to see how things are going. I am going to see Trish before work tomorrow. I was wondering if you had anything for me."
"I don't think so—most of the area is still booked with the same patients. Mr. Montere will be moving to the nursing home in a few weeks though, which will open up his room for two patients. I'll let you know if that works out for you."
"Oh, poor man," she mused. "I assume his status hasn't improved then."
"I'm afraid not. The doctors have all but given up. His eyes are open, but he is otherwise in a persistent vegetative state. The room unfortunately could be better used for a more rehabilitee patient."
"I understand. He's so young, it reminds me of Matt. I'll probably stop in and visit him before they move him. Will you give me a call when they are prepared to?"
"Sure thing. In your office, I presume?"
"That would probably be best." Ally gathered her things, which she had rested in the counter during their short conversation. "You would be so proud of Matt. He's doing so well under Austin's mom's care. His speech will never be what it was, but he is speaking more words and his movement is much more versatile! I'm hopeful. I think he'll be able to be more independent if this persists."
"That's incredible! I assume the funding she advocated for came through."
Ally's eyes twinkled, "Oh, not yet. But his mom has other means to get what she needs." She thought about Austin's 'father' the man who raised him but truly did not bring him into this world. His mother had been demanding he pay the money he'd been stealing from his brother's funds from the last few years; otherwise she would bring him to court and take a lot more. Court meant stress on Matt, which was less than beneficial, and because his father had lost his job, it also meant that he didn't have the money to hire a lawyer.
"I see," she giggled. "Alright. Well, have a great afternoon, Ally. Tell Austin and the others I say hello. You're more than welcome to stop in today if you wanted to see Mr. Montere. His parents enjoyed the baked goods you brought last week."
"I can't stay today," she apologized, seeing the time. "Tomorrow for sure. Thank you again. Have a great day!" She hurried out of the building and into the next one, rushing up the stairs to get to what she needed. Austin expected her at home within the hour, and she didn't like to worry him for unneeded reasons. So, she did what she needed and was out of the parking lot in ten minutes, smiling at the retreating hospital, knowing inside there she could always count on making a difference.
Home was a small apartment just off a major road which meant a lot of traffic noise and less than spectacular surroundings. It was all they could afford on Ally's salary, with Austin not yet making any real money. Her parents chipped in a few hundred a month and Casey also tried to put some their way, but Austin had a stigma about taking money from his brother. The two argued about it quite frequently, which made Ally uncomfortable as well. Sometimes he would come over and slip her a check, which she only took because she didn't want more confrontation.
The two of them wanted to make it on their own. Ally knew once Austin finished his degree he would get a job, probably doubling their income and she had no problem making sure they had food on the table and all the other necessities until then. Besides, many couples started out small and poor. Their love was all they needed and as long as they had each other, she didn't need lavish clothes and other unnecessary belongings.
She pulled up to her assigned parking spot and killed the engine, looking up at the worn building with a sigh. Okay, so she did wish to have a better looking place, but time would fix that she was sure. The love inside the walls of that small home could out do anything on the outside.
Gathering her things, she headed up the steps until she reached the door, unlocking it and pushing her frame on its metal frame to unstick it. It was old and sometimes required her doing so. The landlord had promised them a fix, but she wasn't holding her breath.
"I'm home!" she announced as she put her purse down near the door, seeing Austin sitting over the coffee table on the couch, a pencil in his mouth while he stared at a notebook and papers before him. "You are so good," she mused, plopping down beside him and pressing a kiss on his cheek. He shot her a distracted smile and she turned to look at the papers, noticing they were about assignments for the class in which he needed to fill out for the internship. "What's all this?"
"I need to fill out case files while I'm there on two patients. They are anonymous because of privacy laws, but it still bugs me. I know it helps future students learn, but I can't help but think there were probably interns somewhere out there doing the same to me and that my name is showing someone how to deal with PTSD."
"Is that a bad thing, baby? It would help others understand."
"I guess. I just wish I realized things like that. You don't even need their approval since it doesn't give any true identifying information. I've been sitting here since I got home wondering if I ever came across anything familiar over the last couple of years."
"Don't think too much into it," she insisted, brushing his hair from his face. Ever since getting out of the military, Austin had gone back to the rock star like hairstyle he had in high school and she couldn't lie, she enjoyed it. Mainly running her hands through his hair and feeling how smooth and soft it was. It also helped calm him.
"I guess you're right. Any news in the TBI unit?"
"They're moving Mr. Montere to the nursing home sometime next week. Otherwise, not so much. That new receptionist said hello. She asked about you and Matt."
"Oh! I was supposed to call my mom. You just reminded me."
"Are we still going over there tomorrow?"
"I'd like to, if you would." Austin spent a lot of his free time that wasn't at the VA with his uncle and trying to make his life better. They all knew the hell he went through when Mike Moon was in control of his life and wanted to make sure everything beyond that was not only smooth and fair, but comfortable for the man who gave so much to his country and seemingly got little in return. "I know you are busy."
"You know I would never turn down a chance to see Matt." She grinned, ushering him away from the paperwork. Calling Matt would provide both a distraction from his studies and a chance for him to ease his nerves, something she knew he needed.
Ally got to work on prepping a light dinner while listening to her husband on the phone in the background. He told his mom that the first day at the VA went well and then the conversation shifted, something she knew meant Matt was probably on face time. There were several telltale signs of this: Austin slowed down his speech and there were longer periods in between what he said. She could not hear Matt on the other side, though that wasn't uncommon. It was hard to hear him via a video. She busied herself with chopping onion for a sauce, humming along to a song that was on the radio until she felt arms around her waist and a nuzzling on her cheek.
"Matt says he wants cupcakes," he murmured into her ear as he pressed kisses on her neck. "Chocolate."
"Demanding men," she mused with a teasing smile, hoping that she actually had the ingredients in the cabinet to do such thing. Things were tight, after all. Matt liked when she put extra chocolate into each cupcake, something she actually did by mistake the first go-around because she had Cassidy babbling in her ear about how attractive Tyler was (figure how that worked out).
"I have the internship in the afternoon tomorrow since I have class in the morning. I was thinking of stopping by before that. Maybe you could take an early lunch?"
"Sounds good. I guess you should text me when you're on your way and we'll go from there." The two fell into a silence, before Ally turned and cupped his cheek. "Now, be a useful husband and test my sauce. I tried something new."
"Should I also grab a take out menu then?"
"Austin Moon!"
The chuckles filled the hallway as he exited, going to set the table. Ally smiled at the shadow which retreated. They'd come a long way since being married a year ago. Things certainly had changed since they were two kids in the front of a diner, sharing smiles and flirty lines, a little unsure of what the future held for them both. They'd grown considerably individually since then, even more together. He was her life partner, the one she could count on to make her darkest days brighter, as could she for him. Life wasn't easy, but it was sure as hell worth it.
Never Letting Go
He knew the importance of paying attention in class, especially because he was in his last semester of college before he graduated. It was only early January, but that didn't mean his workload was not heavy, or were the lectures not important. Still, he had so much more he wanted to focus on. The VA internship was vastly important to him, from an educational standpoint and a personal one, as was keeping his marriage with Ally in the best shape he could imagine, and besides those two obvious things, he had friends and family who also wanted his attention. Sometimes it seemed more appropriate to ignore them all, and go find his guitar.
Casey texted him during the first few minutes of his lecture, asking him if he wanted to come over for dinner that night and talk opinions for his upcoming business plan. He wanted to say yes mainly because he had not seen Casey in almost a week, but knew he would run later at the VA then he normally would making a normal hour dinner nearly impossible.
Maybe tomorrow, I don't want to keep Cameron up late. I don't leave the VA until 7.
That's okay, but if you want tomorrow that's fine too.
Better all around, I think. See you then, 6?
Sounds good. Be well, bro.
He tried to focus on the lecture for the remaining hour, but found himself dozing in the classroom of about two dozen. He saw himself in a few years time, hopefully still at the Veterans Affairs hospital, maybe in a position like Sam, or even counseling someone himself. That would require more schooling, he knew and figured he could plan for that as soon as he held that BSW in his hands.
The professor soon dismissed the class and he headed to Rocky's old truck, climbing into the driver's side seat, smiling at the worn features of the red vehicle, one he'd put countless hours of work in with his boys. He kept that truck running, because it stood for more than just a piece of transportation.
"Ally?" he questioned when he heard her pick up the phone after dialing her number. "I'm leaving the campus now. I'll be in the parking lot in ten. Be ready. Okay. Love you, bye."
The drive from the campus to the hospital was relatively short, mainly because it was mid-morning and most people were where they needed to be. He arrived in the guest lot, seeing Ally chatting on her phone and waving her hand around as she did so. Dressed so effortlessly in a fitted skirt and top, her hair was perfectly straightened and clipped behind her ears, a beautiful necklace he'd bought her for the last birthday she had dangling from her neck, glistening in the sun. She saw him from the corner of one eye (or maybe heard him, as the truck was not so quiet), grinning ear to ear as she jogged across the distance in her heels to the truck.
"Hey," she mouthed, finishing up some sort of work call as she closed the door. "Okay, thank you so much. I appreciate that. I'll follow up with you within the week via email to let you know how it goes. Again, I really can't thank you enough. Have a great day!"
The phone was placed on her tiny lap and Ally pressed a kiss on his cheek while she fastened her seat belt and he pulled away. "What was that about?"
"Joye. Trish asked her about maybe having an outpatient musical therapy program at the new shelter but based out of the VA and funded through us. She likes it. It would help veterans who aren't quite ready to step into the hospital get the help they need in a more familiar and less formal setting. We weren't sure if there would be a time or place for it, and when the VA didn't argue with me, I was sure something had to go wrong from the other end and—"
"So good news then?" he cut her off, grinning.
Ally blushed a crimson glow. "Yes." She had a way of complicating her speech when excited or flustered, something they were both aware of and he often teased her for. "It also puts my foot in her door so that way we can show those weary of the VA for good reasons why not everything is what it seems. I'm really excited. I wish this was the case for all the locations across the US, but it's a start."
"That it is. I think the more people hear about it, too you'll find that others will want to use it where they are. Good news spreads, after all. You have one vet who moves out of state and goes to another location speak of it, and you'll have others calling you."
"More paperwork," she sighed with a twinkle in her eye, "But worth it nonetheless."
"Definitely."
"And you'll come by time from time to show these guys how it's done, right?"
"I don't know, what do I get out of it, Mrs. Moon?"
She leaned forward in her seat and he struggled to keep his eyes on the road. The tickle of her breath so close to him sent shivers down his spine, an involuntary reaction to how easily she influenced him. "I think I can find a few things."
A smile spread across his face though he struggled to keep the flush off it. "We're about a block from my mom's place, I think we should leave it at that if you want me to walk into her house with pride."
"Fine," she playfully huffed. "I'll behave."
"Only until later," he insisted. "Then you're all mine."
They parked in front of his mother's newer house, the one she purchased with smart thinking and saving after divorcing his 'father'. It was a small, two bedroom home with only one floor, but it was ample space for her and Matt to live in. Equipped with wide door frames and an open-floor plan otherwise, it made Matt's wheelchair and other medical equipment a breeze when he knew that many others in similar situations struggled with at-home care and comfort.
That was most important to his mom and him when they were looking to take Matt out of the nursing home at the VA hospital. They knew his happiness resided partially on a loving environment, but also on how well he could live from a medical standpoint outside of a medical field. Not only were they more than satisfied with the results, but so were Matt's doctors. He also had different therapists at the house that came different days of the week, working on speech, occupational, and other therapies, never giving up on the level of independence he could achieve.
It was a stark contrast to what Ally saw when she met the man for the first time several years ago.
Austin let himself in with their key, announcing his presence like any son would, "Mom, I'm home!"
There was a chuckle from the kitchen and a reply a second later, "You don't change much, do you?"
Austin grinned ear to ear as they found his mom and Matt in the kitchen, seemingly starting lunch. "Nope. Why change when there's nothing wrong?"
She shot him a disapproving look as she engulfed him into a hug, Ally starting over to Matt who sat in his electronic wheelchair, a pleased smile on his face. "Matt," he heard her say before she too swallowed him into a hug.
"Hello Ally," he replied in a sure voice, something that pleased everyone in the room. Matt was much more sure in his speech with familiar words, or phrases he said often. Ally was one of the first people to show positive interest in him since coming back home, so no one was surprised that her name was said clearly and proudly when spoken. "How are… you?"
"Fantastic, I've had a great morning," she revealed. "How about you?"
He gave her a suspicious look, "No cupcakes."
"They are in the truck," she scolded, playfully giving him a mock glare. "I can't believe that is all I'm good for around here. You boys and sweets. We women deserve better than this, right Mimi?"
Mimi gave her a knowing look, wrapping her in a side hug as she got close. "I was just telling him that he needs to drink that shake or he isn't going to get anything you bring." Austin glanced at the protein shake that was placed in front of his uncle, mainly untouched. It was one of his few protein sources outside of his feeding tube, there to supplement any regular meals since Matt did not have the every day life that many did.
"It's gross," Matt defended, glaring at Mimi like a defiant child. "You drink… it."
Ally stifled a laugh and turned her head so that only Austin saw. Austin took this as a chance to see for himself, taking a long sip of the thick substance. He forced himself to swallow it after the liquid sat on his tongue for a moment, equally trying to force a happy expression. It made sawdust look appealing. "It's not so bad."
"Uh huh," Matt muttered. "Liar."
Ally couldn't help but laugh this time, taking it upon herself to also try the drink. Her expression did not hide the discomfort from the taste. Austin loved her grossed out expression. "Alright, that is pretty gross," she admitted. "But come on, Matt. Drink it and you can have my awesome cupcakes. And you know they are awesome."
Sometimes Matt, despite most of his mental facilities still in place could have a childlike temper. He didn't like being told what to do, and anger was still an issue at times. Ally always told him it probably had partly to do with his lack of control over most situations. He had control over how he could react, after all. So why not let everyone know exactly how he felt?
Still, they were also working on that sort of response. It showed when he begrudgingly leaned forward to take a sip, all while still glaring at each of them.
"Matt also would like you both to know that he gets his new chair next week, the smaller, less bulky one which means he'll be able to get out of the house more." Mimi gave the two a nod while his head was still down, something they both knew was important for not only Matt, but for Mimi too. The heavy electronic chair was nearly impossible for her to maneuver on her own, so she usually needed a male counterpart to help her bring him to appointments or even a day at the park. This new chair was freedom for them both.
"Great," Austin verbally agreed. "The funding must have finally come through."
"It did," she added from the sink, where she was rinsing off dishes before loading them into the washer. The house was impeccably clean, something Austin never realized growing up. He held so much resentment toward his father during his teen years that he never noticed how hardworking and diligent his mother truly was. She to the very day and present moment, was on top of every household chore she needed to accomplish, as well as on top of preparing delicious meals for whomever or whatever occasion needed. Last year, she insisted upon hosting Easter dinner. No one was allowed to bring anything but one dessert, and she cooked a three course meal otherwise. It even made Trish quiet, someone who he realized had more unwanted cooking advice then usually asked for. "How long can you two stay? I made homemade pulled pork for lunch. I have enough leftovers for more than what I can eat in the next couple of days. Maybe you can take it home with you."
This was one way Mimi tried to 'secretly' help. She always made more food than obviously necessary, considering Matt had many dietary restrictions, then citing she would 'hate to throw it out', before shoveling it into their arms, giving them that creepy motherly 'take it or I'll hurt you' smile, leaving with them plenty of dinner choices or leftovers without having to spend anything.
"We'll take some," he said, just to please her. Ally gave him a nod, resting her head on the nook of his arm. "We can't stay too long. I have the internship in about an hour, and Ally only has an hour lunch."
"I can be a little late," she assured the two. "I don't have any appointments until well after one and my co worker is covering my phone calls and the like."
"Great," Mimi chimed in, looking over at Matt and smiling when she saw the shake was almost gone. "It looks like we'll be having cupcakes and tea after all. Why don't I help you go fetch them, Ally?"
There was a brief pause between the small group before Ally nodded, something clearly going over Austin's head when the two women shared a look. He shrugged his shoulders as the two women left the room, and he took the time to sit adjacent from his Uncle Matt and smile. "So, Uncle Matt. What's new and exciting?"
He gave him an exasperated look which somehow made him more sad then the humorous response that he probably expected, though he forced himself to laugh regardless. He wished somehow he could provide his family with better opportunities than what they had, though it seemed many organizations were booked or overbooked and waiting lists were long. He hoped that his inside job on the VA would help get his mother and Uncle out of town, if only for a day or so. Everyone needed a break, especially those two.
"I feel the same way," he finally answered the look. "Same thing day and day out. I guess there are worse things than continuousness."
"Probably," Matt said distantly, eyes rolling toward another part of the house.
Austin sighed though lightly. Maybe that wasn't the case after all.
Never Letting Go
"I appreciate that you took the time to make the cupcakes, Ally. I know that things have been rough for you and Austin." The elder Moon gave her a gentle and knowing smile, one full of compassion and love that made her smile right back. "I also know that my son does not like to admit that he may need help, in any shape or form." There was a brief pause as her mind seemed to float away and they hovered around the car, both not saying a word. It made Ally think back to how far gone her husband seemed when he finally unraveled, how much it scared and rocked her world. She hated bringing herself back to that place, but it was also important to her to remember where they came from so that they never revisited that kind of struggle. "Anyway," she forcefully continued. "You didn't have to. But I also know that Matt holds a special place in your heart. He speaks so highly of you."
"I don't mind doing it," she assured her as they gathered the covered sweets from the backseat, walking slowly back toward the house. "He's done so well with you. I'm just glad he isn't alone in that hospital anymore and has someone else in his corner. I know it can be rough. I remember those days."
"He can be a handful," she mused, stopping at the porch, setting them down. Ally got the feeling they would not be going right inside. She considered the idea that there were not too many adults who spent their time with Mimi anymore. Most of her social circle probably abandoned her when she divorced Mike, and those who did stick around probably did not understand her reasoning for taking in such a disabled man, especially one that was related to her ex-husband. "His mood is more stable than it used to be. Though, he still has those tantrums from time to time. I honestly think it's more frustration than anything, but he can mimic a child."
"I know," she whispered, closing her eyes. "He is much better off with you, like I said. You've done something so good, Mimi."
"Have I?" she dared to ask. "Sometimes I feel as if maybe I've bitten off more than I can chew. It is like having a child all over again. I was blessed as a young mother with Austin because of Matt. He took him so many places while I followed his… Mike around trying to keep up that damn store. I almost feel as if I owe him. He was such a big part of Austin's life as a child and it pains me to think most of those memories were forced out of his head. When the going gets tough with him, I try to think about that. He deserves a family. After all, we forced him out of his own for almost a decade."
"Matt left around the same age Austin did, right?"
"About," she replied, looking distantly toward the backyard. "I got with Mike very young. We had Austin when I was about your age and Matt was only a child himself. As he grew, they were inseparable, but when Matt hit eighteen and graduated, he wanted nothing to do with the family business. I think my ex thought since he raised him that there would be some sense of loyalty, if that makes sense. Matt wanted nothing to do with it, not that I blamed him. He saw what happened in New York City and saw himself making a difference. I knew of his plans and I didn't say a word. I never thought what happened would, but it did. And then only a few years later, history was repeating itself. I should've spoke up sooner, but the past is where it is: the past. I can't change it and I can't allow myself to dwell in it."
"He knows that," she assured her. "And I'm sure Matt does too."
"I can only hope and pray." They picked up the sweets a second time, but the woman stopped her. "I know it's probably not a good time, but what about you and Austin? Do you see yourself having kids?"
Ally could honestly say the thought had not crossed her mind since they married three years ago. They were both so busy with school and work, trying to keep afloat most days. They barely made it into bed at night without collapsing, let alone thinking about anything of a sexual nature. Sure, there were romantic nights, but they were probably not as active sexually as many other couples their age. Hell, Cassidy told her usually in graphic detail about her sex life. She knew they were quite modest in comparison.
She didn't mind though. She loved that man with her entire being and would try and stop the earth if it meant that they would never be apart.
"I see I've thrown you a bit. I didn't mean to startle you, sweetheart." She gave her a teasing smile. "I am just curious because Austin is my only baby and I would love to spoil a child someday."
"I can't say it's not in our future, but I don't see it in our near future. We have so much going on and most of the time I feel like I'm barely making it most days without at least three cups of coffee and the prayers at night. I couldn't imagine bringing a child into that sort of scenario now. Maybe down the road."
Mimi grinned, "You'll know when the time is right."
"I suppose," she agreed, now actively engulfed into why such an idea had not come into her mind. Did Austin think she was weird because the conversation had not come up? Did he expect her to give him children sometime soon? Is that why his mother offered to help her bring in cupcakes when it was obviously a one person job? The thoughts swirled around in her head, stayed there rest of the time they visited, and continued to bask there well into the afternoon, even after patient after patient.