This is the long awaited continuation of Georgia Nicolson Fan Fiction...it has taken me ages to update, but I am going to try and update at least every week from now on...so fingers crossed and I hope its as good as the first one if not better. So here we go.

30 Seconds Later
"Since when do bears open tents! They can just use their claws to tear open tents!"
"Who the fresh hell is it, then"

30 Seconds Later
It was Vati. Yes, Vati. After we worked out that bears do not use zip's to open tent but tear them open with their scary, sharp claws, Rosie stuck her head out of the tent saying "Who's there! You can't hide from us we have a taser and a whip! A I have a beard." Vati reared his ugly head saying "What the bloody hell is Georgia doing with a taser and a whip!" So, the long and short of it is I am going home (yay), because Grandvati broke his hip doing 'stuff' with Mavis (not so yay) and is now in hospital waiting for a new hip. All I had to say was;
"Wow, when you pray and pray for something so much, you never actually expect it to happen but when it does, you just don't know what to say"
"Don't be so bloody cheeky Georgia! Now pack your things and get in the car."

1:05 In the Clown Car with Vati
"Vati, I can smell burning, I think your clown car is on fire."
"Don't be so bloody rude!" He said going all red.

10 Minutes Later
Vati had to stop the car because the bonnet flew open, and the car wouldn't move.
"I told you the car was on fire Vati, but would you listen?"
"Shut up Georgia! Go and sit in the car."
"Yes, Vati why don't I sit in the flaming wreckage?"
The amount of times I am told to shut up, makes me think I shouldn't have wasted my time learning to speak.

30 Seconds Later
I could have been a mime. That's one less thing I'll never do. Thanks a lot Mutti and Vati.

3:07 Broken down on the motorway
Eventually AAA and decided that it was not fit to be on the road (yay) and are going to take it away for a few days to do some stuff to it (oo-er). So in the mean time we are getting a courtesy car. 'Just keep the car! We can walk.' I begged the mechanics. I think walking might be very helpful for Vati especially.

4:37am Still not home
I would like to call Masimo to tell him I'm home early, but explaining the details may make me look slightly…insane. "Well my grandvati broke his hip, doing unspeakable things with Mavis his crazy girlfriend who once knitted me a head sock, so my portly father broke into my tent in the middle of the wilderness and took my home in the courtesy car since the Batmobile blew up." He already thinks I'm clinically insane, due to the one-hundred and one things that have happened which are in no way my own fault.

5:04 At home
We just got back home. Apparently tomorrow we are going to visit Grandvati in hospital (it gets worse) and the rest of the family will be there, i.e uncle Eddie and his pervert son, James. If Vati actually thinks I am going more fool him.

10:30 In the Morning
Libby has decided she is a wrestler. I go away for one day and this is what happens. She launched into my room landed on my head and pulled out a chunk of my hair. Brilliant. Not

2 Minutes later
I went downstairs to tell Vati that his daughter had pulled out a chunk of my hair but all he said was "Don't be so melodramatic Georgia"
I think my reply was very dignified considering, "Vati, just because your hair line is significantly receding does not give you the right to threat people who have hair in this manner!" So he threw a slipper at me. How loving my dear Vati is.

11:00 At the Hospital
When we arrived Grandvati was playing twister with Mavis. "Erm...Doesn't Grandvati have a broken hip or something " I asked. "Why don't we join in Georgia" My perverted cousin James asked" I'd love to but I have an in growing toe nail and my over active sweat glands make any physical activity impossible." I said. "Bad boy." Said Libby biffing me over the head.

5 Minutes Later
Somehow I actually ended up playing twister. James kept brushing up against me, or putting himself in awkward positions so he could look down my top. Blimey O'riley. My nungas just keep getting me into trouble. Then he actually jumped on me, the he said 'Oh sorry Gee, I guess I fell'.

30 Minutes Later
Cousin James has not left me alone all day. I had to use the piddly diddly department and James decided he would tag along. As soon as we were out of the hospital room James turned to me and said 'So Gee how about a games of tickly bears? For old time sake.' Blimey O'riley undercrackers, have I stepped into a parallel universe.

30 Seconds Later
Oh wait, it's not a parallel universe my life is just this crap.

20 Minutes Later
My whole family have started singing Chas and Dave songs, and very badly might I add. Dear lord, shoot me now. Or just my entire family.

10 seconds later
If God did decide to shoot my family where would I live? Well how about shoot my entire family but my Mutti.

2 seconds later
Then again she would continue to embarrass me with her humongous basoomas. Maybe shoot my entire family but my Vati.

2 seconds later
Hmm.....He does tend to shout and moan though, and continually embarrass me with his portliness, and moan about the middle ages.

2 seconds later...again
I've just remembered about the little badger on his chin. I'm defiantly keeping Mutti and getting rid of Vati, it's the only sensible option. I'm sure in time I could teach her to wear a proper bra and be more like Jas's Mutti. She may even learn to cook and clean for me the way a real mother should. She may even re-marry a very attractive lawyer with a sensible nose. That would most certainly be a dream world.

2 minutes later
I've just caught a glimpse of my nose and have realised that my dream world will never be a reality, if this world were fair I would most certainly not have a small child on my face, where my real nose should be. Plus the sight of my nose would scare away any attractive men that might be interested in Mutti. Is my suffering ever to end?

8:30pm Home from the hospital
Back home, and oh so bored. There is nothing to do here, why can't I live somewhere exciting like London, with all the beautiful people.

30 Seconds Later
I've just remembered why, because I am too ugly. I'm sure there is some sort of beauty level that you must pass to live in London. Poo. Once again my huge conk has ruined things for me. Thanks a lot Vati. And Mutti as well since she was too selfish to pass on the good genes, only the crap huge nunga genes.

10 Minutes Later at the Park
I decided to make a break for freedom e.g. go down to the park. The Blunder Boys are larding about, or what they call 'having a kick about'. Such delinquents. Once again I am shocked that I allowed such an over grown ape to rest his hand on my basooma. It was really nice of Dave to give him a fat lip for me. It's the sort of thing a boyfriend type person would do. Not that he is my boyfriend, that Masimo. My boyfriend that I haven't spoken to in ages, but I guess that's okay since he is gorgey. Yummy Scrumboes.

2 minutes Later Still in the park
Mark and his rough mates have spotted me and are once again being verbally abusive. Mark started it off with "Who's your mates?" Meaning my nungas. Very hilarious indeed. The same could be said about his enormous gob, but as I am oh so mature I ignored their many childish comments. Well actually I took their football and ran with it.

30 seconds later
PANT, PANT. The blunder boys are actually chasing me. Oh merde…my knickers seem to be embedding themselves in my bum-oley, this is why I tend to avoid exercise. I can just hear Jas saying 'Don't you wish you had my sensible knickers now Georgia?" PANT PANT. O'blimey O'riley's undercrackers…How am I going to make it up the hill. I already can barely breathe.

10 minutes later
I have made it back to the house, but the blunder boys seem to have formed some Georgia lynching party outside of my house, I'm sure Lyndsay will join in with the festivities soon. And own Vati and all the neighbours, then Slim as well for good measure.

1 minute later
Big Gob and his mates are now smoking fags in between throwing stones at my window. Why hasn't Vati gone all red and told the young ruffians to skedaddle off home.

20 Minutes Later
They're still there and they've called in reinforcements, about twenty smoking fox wood lads have gathered outside my house, this is getting ridiculous. I've just gone downstairs why the Olds have done nothing about the mob outside their house. I should have guessed Angus is holding my parents hostage in the kitchen. He's standing in front of the door and every time they make a move to escape he starts spiting and hissing. He is a bad puddy cat. I should have guess when I heard Mutti shouting "I want that things put down, it is unstable" but I only assumed she was talking about Vati. I may let them out in an hour or two.

9:05pm
I've decided to walk right up to Mark and give him his stupid ball (oo-er), but of course with dignity and je ne sais quoi. I may have custard cream of two, just to calm myself down.

9:45pm
I finally walked right up to the blunder boys (without delay might I add), I got up to "Oi, Mark, take your stuipid ball ba-" when Angus came darting out of the kitchen and went straight for Mark's trousers. I couldn't believe it. I literally stood there with my mouth hanging open.

10:00pm
The Blunder Boys have started to scatter in all five directions of the wind, wait I mean four. Then I saw the full damage, the entire front law was covered in cigarette ends, huge patches of grass had disappeared, piles of empty beer bottles. Then I saw it, that's when it hit me, they had spray painted a man's trouser snake on my front door. MERDE with knobs. Sacre Blue. I am going to be grounded forever. I will literally never see the light of day.

5 minutes later Hiding in my room
I have decided to dash from the crime scene and hide in my room. I've barricaded myself in by pushing my wardrobe right against the door.

2 Minutes Later
"BOB! LOOK AT OUR BLOODY FRONT LAWN. CIGARETTES EVERYWHERE. The door…look at the door. What is that? Is that…no, no. It can't be."
"Connie? Wake up…GEORGIA! GET DOWN HERE, YOUR BLOODY MOTHER HAS PASSED OUT!"
Merde, double merde, triple merde.

Yep, so that's it. I don't thinks its as good as the first one. Also I'd like to know if people think I should update since this is like a book behind the most current one. So let me know what you think. Hope you all enjoy it. Oh, also cheers to everyone that kept sending me messages asking me to update, this is for you guys its nice to know people actually read it.

Love from BeautyIsPain.

xXx