Three Degrees
Chapter 2
Hey guise, so this story will be the POV of Hamuko but in third person. And like on what I did on Akihiko's story, I'll mention him in third person. So, I hope you'll enjoy this last chapter (or not) but oh well :3
Here it goes.
Her Story
Hamuko has no idea what's going on outside the apartment. She's been locking herself alone in the room. She's not entirely alone though, she lives with her fiancé, Akihiko. They've been together for five years. They both know what's wrong with each other and they're both honest with it.
Hamuko has issues about herself. Like her depression then later becomes a suicidal feeling. That's right. She's in a suicidal state. She slowly starved herself, had insomnia, and drinks pills one at a time, still hoping to be saved. And he knows about this. She's aware of how he tries to be there for her and all. She knows that he thinks he's not enough for her. And this hurts her. But it wasn't his fault. It was her. It was all about her. She hated herself. And he knows about this as well.
She heard a faint footstep outside the apartment. Someone just came in.
"I'm home." It was said aloud, she knows that he does that so she'll hear. She went out of her room and walked towards the living room. She doesn't want to, but she feels like she has to. For him.
"Akihiko" she said, in monotone. Akihiko smiled, and she knows it's filled with pain.
"Hamuko, I'm home." He said again, he wanted her to reply.
"Welcome back" she smiled faintly.
Hamuko was having a hard time sleeping, but she saw how peaceful he was sleeping. She wanted to hold his face and feel him, she doesn't know why, but she wavers. She has no idea why she suddenly stopped, it just suddenly hurt her.
She looked at him the whole night sleeping. She smiled. She was looking at him too long that she didn't realize it's already morning. She felt that he's going to wake up soon so she pretended she was sleeping.
She later felt she was being hugged by him, and it was tight. She knows what he wanted to say, but it can't help her but feel the pain of doing so. She pretended she woke up.
"Morning." He said, waking up in his arms. She looked at him with a straight face, she's losing herself.
"Morning." She manages to reply. He only smiled and rose up.
"What do you want to eat today?"
"Anything's fine."
"Then we'll have bacon, okay?" he said happily and she just nodded.
He stood up and changed his clothes and went straight to the kitchen. She followed him and sits in the table, because she feels like she has to. He finally finished cooking the bacon and it does smell good. He prepared the food in the table and placed it in front of her. She noticed that he's not eating anything except for his food supplements.
"Why aren't you eating?" she asked, he only looked at her and smiled.
"I'm in a hurry."
It's a lie. Hamuko thought. Why are you lying to me?
He left the kitchen and took his things and wore his shoes. She didn't mean to, but she was really upset why he lied to her. She just reacted to his lie.
While he's preparing, she only looked at him with surprised, unbelievable look. He didn't look back.
"I'll be leaving now." He said, stood there a little and left.
Hamuko continuously stare at the doorway, trying to put the image of his back on her brain. She lowered her head.
"Take care…"
She couldn't help but think about he lied. She knows it's only a normal lie like what normal people do, but it's a big deal for her. She wanted him to be okay, but she knows that as long as she stays like that, he wouldn't be okay. He loves her so much and she feels that love, because she loves him as much as he does too. But things aren't working out for her, not for the both of them.
She wanted to go out for a while. She wanted to see the city for a while. Because she now knows what she wants to do. She'll do it. She's selfish after all.
It's been a long while since she last went out, because he usually just buy and leave things for her instead. He wasn't pampering him, he just thought that she prefers to be that way and he's happy if she'll be happy.
But as far as she wanted to look around the whole city, she can't. Her anxiety's eating her. She wants to go back home and decided to only stop by at the nearby store and go back home.
The night was chilly, the sky was so vast, and it doesn't have any stars. She was saddened by this, because she really loved stars. Because it reminds her of him.
"I wanted to see one though…" she said in disappointment.
She arrived home and opened the door but was surprised when she saw him looked terrified.
"Hamuko…" he said worriedly.
"Aki—"he suddenly hugged her and her groceries dropped. He was hugging her tightly and felt his heartbeat. He was scared. He was scared that she might lose her and she understands this.
She was looking at the ceiling, realizing how tall he actually was. She started to think,
I wanted you to be happy… she thought. It hurts
She closed her eyes, she shed a tear. She doesn't want him to know she's crying deeply inside. She wanted to feel him. She didn't return his hug, but it was painful. He let go of her and she smiled. She took her things and she's going back to her room. But he grasped her hand.
I have to
She yanked her hand and went straight to the bedroom.
"I'm sorry." She said, she kneeled and lowered her head, covering her face with her hand and she started to cry. "I'm so sorry."
Hamuko went out of the room and looked at the clock. She realized she have a lot of time to spare. She went to the dining and sits there. She placed her head and just stayed there. She doesn't know what she's doing.
It'll end anyway, so it's okay
She sat the whole time, thinking of nothing. She's becoming emptier as time goes on.
She heard a click, and she knows it's him.
"I'm home"
She didn't bother replying. She knows what she's going to do. She wanted him to know how she really felt. He reached the dining and imitated her.
"I'm home." He said again, this time, it was softly and she can feel the gentleness. She looked at him, she wanted to kiss him, but she also doesn't want to. She want to leave things be.
"Akihiko?" in a whisper
"Yes?" he said, the gentleness was this there. He's still smiling. She was quiet for a while. She wanted to remember how close he is to her. She loves him.
"I love you", this surprised him a little, but he smiled.
"I know" he replied. And she knows this too. They're aware of how much they love each other, but she still wanted to say it.
"Do you love me?"
"Yes" his voice was gentle. She wanted to hear more.
"Please tell me." She begged and he closed his eyes and smiled.
"I love you." She was quiet for a while, he opened his eyes and they're looking at him other. Her eyes winced, she's about to cry.
"I love you so much."
"I know." He's still smiling, but this time, she felt the pain. The sadness.
"I really…" she faltered. "love you so much."
"Yes, I do too."
She can't stop it, she started to cry. "I love you so much…"
Underneath the table, she felt his hands crossing hers. She wanted to feel his hand and replied back. She repeatedly says that she loves him and so does he. He smiled, though it was filled with sadness, it was still warm. He cried.
They were both crying.
Hamuko and he had distanced their selves ever since the silent breakdown. And this is good for her. She'll be able to do it today.
She took off a plastic bag filled with groceries, and one of them was filled with pills.
"I'm sorry, Akihiko."
She opened the pills and put some on her palm.
"I love you."
She took them in, a lot of them. She's ending herself.
Hamuko had no idea what happened after she took the pills. But she's alive. She can hear her heartbeat in a quiet room, in the hospital. She heard a voice outside, it's him. Right after that, he went inside.
"Hamuko…" he said in a sad voice. He sat beside her bed and lowered his head.
"Why?" he asked. It was all he could ever ask. Why and she knows why. She wanted to answer, but her head's too messy. She wanted to realize she's herself.
"Why?" he asked again, holding her hand tighter. "Why did you do this?" she only looked at him.
"Am I not enough?" he asked, she was surprised. "Am I not enough to save you?" he said. Her feelings came back rushing through her. She hurt not only herself, but him as well. She knows this very much, and she's sure he does too. She doesn't know what to say. She didn't talk. Because they both know anyway. She cried.
-End-
Okay guise so that's it. This is it for this fanfic. I know it sucks. Yeah, sucks to be me. /sobs. Thanks for reading tho if you did. Please do review if you have some comments and stuffs. I want to know my flaws ;u; As for the reasons, i hope you find them! :3 they're altogether anyway and they keep repeating it so,... yeah. :3 good luck
Happy new years everyone! :3
( P3P DOES NOT BELONG TO ME, ATLUS DOES )