Reality TV
Ch. 2
"Sakura," Sasori whispered gently, touching her ever so lightly on the arm. Sakura opened her eyes very slowly.
"What?" Sakura croaked out, her throat really dry.
"Here's some medicine and a glass of water. It should help," Sasori said as Sakura struggled to get up. She swallowed the pill and downed all of the water in one breath.
"I don't feel better," Sakura whined.
"It will take a while to take full effect," Sasori said.
"Make it work faster," Sakura whined, if possible more and louder. Sasori ran his hands through her hair, trying to calm her.
"Rest is the best thing right now," Sasori said. Sakura sighed and fell back to sleep against Sasori as he still played with her hair.
Ino walked back into the room, taking deep breaths.
"Calmed down, un?" Deidara asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes," Ino answered.
"Finally! Let's get this fucking cussing contest started!" Hidan exclaimed.
"OK, you two, sit facing each other on the couch and begin!" Hinata said, getting as far from them as she could. They did as told and took a deep breath.
"FUCK YOU!" Ino yelled at the top of her lungs.
"FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING WENCH!" Hidan yelled back.
"BASTARD!" Ino yelled back.
"BITCH!" Hidan said.
"MOTHERFUCKER!" Ino replied.
"UNCLEFUCKER!" Hidan yelled. Ino put her hands on her hips.
"I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?" Ino shot back.
"THAT WAS FUCKING CHILDISH!" Hidan replied.
"WHO CARES?!!? YOU'RE A SHITFUCKER!" Ino yelled back.
"YOU FUCK INNOCENT PUPPIES!" Hidan challenged.
"THAT WOULD BE YOU, MY FRIEND! YOU DON'T CARE ONE WAY OR ANOTHER IF A FUCKING PUPPY DIES BECAUSE YOU PUT YOUR DICK INTO THEM!" Ino yelled, angrily.
"AT LEAST I HAVE A DICK!" Hidan yelled.
"I DON'T WANT ONE! I HAVE A VAGINA, YOU GAY BASTARD!" Ino yelled.
"I'M NOT GAY, YOU FUCKING, LESBO!" Hidan replied.
"YOU LIVE WITH WHAT? 10, 9 GUYS? WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR SEX?!" Ino yelled.
"FROM BROTHELS! WHERE DO YOU GET YOURS, HM?" Hidan yelled, glaring at her.
"I DON'T! I'M A FUCKING VIRGIN!" Ino yelled and everyone got quiet.
"Woah…Blondie's a fucking virgin," Hidan whispered and she glared at him.
"Hey, guys, can you keep it down? We can here you in the other room and Sakura can't sleep because of all of the cussing," Sasori said as he briefly came into the living room.
"Hey, hey, Sasori-san, did you here? Pinky's friend is a fucking virgin!" Hidan yelled enthusiastically and Sasori sighed.
"Yes, I heard and if you think logically all of her friends are virgins. They are sixteen and I doubt they'd give it to whomever they see," Sasori said and Hidan got quiet.
"You have a point there," Hidan said.
"Thank you," Sasori said as he left to go back to his room.
"That was…." Naruto started, mouth hanging half way open.
"Not suitable for little kids," Shikamaru finished.
"I didn't know you could use the word fuck like that and so many times," Naruto said.
"I did," Kakashi said with a cough as a cover up.
"We all knew you could, Kakashi-sensei," Sasuke said, rolling his eyes.
"I thought Ino lost her virginity long ago!" Tsunade exclaimed and Pein and Konan sweatdropped.
"How can you say that, Tsunade-san?" Pein asked.
"I know her. She loves to go to the mall dressed in the sluttiest thing she has and hook up with a guy," Tsunade replied as Konan shook her head.
"I used to do that before I joined the Akatsuki," Konan said.
"You did? I didn't know that," Pein said.
"You think you know someone," Tsunade mumbled.
"There's a lot of things from my past you do not know, Pein-sama," Konan said and he shrugged it off and they all turned their attention back to the TV.
"Sasori-sama, I don't feel so well. My head hurts…everywhere hurts," Sakura complained.
"Sh…it's OK, Sakura. Just get some rest," Sasori said and she glared at him.
"I don't want some friggin rest!" Sakura yelled, trying to stand up. Sasori just looked at her, letting her vent. Sakura's legs chose that time to give out and before she hit the ground Sasori caught her. She cried tears of agitation and the need for independence.
"OK, Sakura, why won't you hop into bed," Sasori offered, helping her get into bed. Sakura closed her eyes and instantly drifted off to sleep. Sasori took a thermometer and gently put it in her mouth as to not wake her and then took it out. It read: 99.9 degrees. So it was going down. Thank Kami-sama… Sasori didn't know if he could handle her anymore with that fever she had. She was a handful…
"Aw…you're Akatsuki member is so sweet and caring with my student!" Tsunade said in awe.
"Yes…I'd say he's falling for her," Pein said.
"We can't say for sure. Remember his last puppet? He acted like this and then turned her into a puppet…we heard her screams from your room," Konan said. Pein, Tsunade, and Konan all shivered.
"Is he going to do that to my student?" Tsunade asked.
"No, we told them not to harm anyone. If he disobeys me I will know and he will suffer the consequences," Pein said, looking at the screen.
"Let's hope so…" Tsunade said.
"Heh…"
"What, Naruto?"
"I think Sakura's falling for him. She never lets anyone tell her what to do. Even if it is good for her. She'll kick their ass even in that state," Naruto stated.
"He is telling the truth," Kakashi threw in.
Sakura woke up again and looked around. She was in her and Sasori's room but he wasn't there. She stood up and realized that she felt much better. She walked to the door and quickly left the room in search for someone. Sakura went to the kitchen and saw her friend Ino.
"Hey!" Sakura cheered. Ino smiled.
"Hey, there, girl!" Ino said.
"You wanna have a girl's night? Just us girls in a room by ourselves…just to talk?" Sakura asked.
"Sounds fun…I have to tell you girls a few things!" Ino cheered.
"Great…let's go find the others and tell them!" Sakura cheered.
"It'll be a sleepover!" Ino cheered.
"Yeah…we should invite Sasori-sama though," Sakura thought aloud.
"Girl's night means only girls! No guys! But if you really want your lover to be there…after we all talk they can join the party, ne?" Ino asked. Sakura was blushing, deeply.
"He's not my lover!" Sakura slurred.
"Sure he isn't…then why do you want to invite him to a girls' night?" Ino asked.
"Just go ask Tenten, Hinata, and Kurenai-sensei," Sakura groaned. Ino went off and told the girls. Ino came back a few minutes later.
"The plan is starting tonight at eight we go to a room and hang out and talk! Wooooot!" Ino cheered.
"Great…" Sakura said as she sat down. Ino was too energetic about everything…
It was 8 o'clock and all the girls were sitting in Kurenai's room since she was the only one of them who had their own room.
"So…Sakura-chan, you've been hanging with Sasori a lot lately," Tenten said with a smirk.
"N-No, I h-h-haven't!" Sakura defended.
"Aw…come on! We all know you like him! Don't deny it!" Ino said.
"OK…maybe…a little. JUST a little," Sakura said.
"Whatever you say," Hinata mumbled.
"I think you should write him The Constitution of Love," Kurenai said and the other girls agreed. Sakura paled.
"What! No!" Sakura said.
"Aw…come on! What can it hurt?" Ino asked.
"Fine! If I give him The Constitution of Love, you have to give someone it too," Sakura said.
"Fine! Just start writing it!" Ino said as she gave Sakura a piece of paper and pen. Sakura began writing…
"What's The Constitution of Love?" Tsunade asked. Konan and Pein shrugged.
"It's a teenage girl thing probably," Pein said.
"Then it's new because when I was their age, we didn't do that. We just went up to the guy and kissed them," Konan said.
"That's…nice," Pein said, unsurely. Tsunade coughed, uncomfortably.
"Guys! Why are we watching this at my place?" Sasuke asked. The bartender kicked them out so now they were at the Uchiha manor.
"Because you don't live with anyone and we need the space," Neji informed. "My uncle wouldn't agree to it."
"Good for you," Sasuke said, sarcastically.
"I still want to know what a Constitution of Love is," Naruto mumbled.
"Is it like the Constitution in The United States of America?" Choji asked.
"It might be…that might be where they got it from," Naruto mumbled, trying to think.
"Temari, why are you making us watch this? It's a girl's show!" Konkuro whined.
"Shut it! It's not a girl's show and it's pretty awesome! Sakura, Ino, Hinata, and Kurenai are in it. Not to mention the Akatsuki are in it." Temari said, thoughtfully.
"They tried to kill me," Gaara stated, stoically.
"Aw come on! Right now Sakura's falling hard for Sasori! It's all over the commercials!" Temari whined. The guys had no choice but to listen to her.
It was coming around to midnight and they all read over the letter thoroughly and decided it was ready. Sakura snuck into her and Sasori's room as not to wake him and laid it on the pillow next to him. She tiptoed out of there as fast as she could without making a noise.
"You give it to him?" Ino asked once Sakura got back to Kurenai's room.
"It's on his pillow," Sakura said.
"Well…we should go to bed and we'll see his reaction tomorrow," Ino said as they turned the light off and went to bed…
"Constitution of Love
Preamble
We the young at heart, in order
to form a more perfect kissable
Sasori and the popularity
of love establishes this Constitution
of love. Telephone no. We live in the same room
We the teenagers of America in order to form a more thrilling way of kissing hereby draw up this Constitution of love to be used by all lucky enough to get a chance.
Article I
The boy must be taller than the girl.
The girl must wear non smear lipstick to prevent any embarrassment.
Article II
Step 1: Hold the hand of the proposed victim.
Step 2: Set your hand on her cheek.
Step 3: Draw her near your chest.
Step 4: Now kiss!
Step 5: Do not smother the poor girl, let her come up for air!
Step 6: Do it again.
The Ten Amendments
Thou shall not squeeze too hard.
Thou shall not ask for a kiss.
Thou shall not flirt with others.
Thou shall not keep love a secret.
Thou shall not tease thy sweetheart.
Thou shall not break love with hate.
Though shall be true to thy sweetheart.
Thou shall learn the method of love.
Thou shall talk to thy loved one.
Thou shall not forget thy has a telephone.
Things to Remember
Always respect the one you love.
Never miss a kiss.
If you don't know how to kiss, learn.
Never take no for an answer.
Remember practice makes perfect.
The place is in the dark.
Share your love with the one you love.
Don't stop with one kiss.
Get yourself a living doll.
Code: If you love me, say so, if you don't say so.
Prelude: Many people know how to kiss but only one out of two are proper.
Motto: Kiss who you please and please who you kiss.
Method of Kissing
Hold her in your arms; slowly draw her near your chest. She will probably hesitate at first. Then her lips should slowly reach yours, now charge.
If you still have all your teeth and have no black eyes from the first time, repeat. Do not wait for a goodnight kiss but kiss whenever you can, for you may not get another chance.
Comment: Baby, if kissing is the language of love, we've got a lot to talk about.
Chart of Kissing
Fish kiss; don't come up for air.
Plumber's kiss; lots of suction.
Library kiss; oral volume.
Electrician kiss; big charge.
Bird's kiss; just a peck.
Pleasure kiss; real meat.
Good luck kiss; smooth.
Your kiss; real meat.
My kiss; try it sometime.
Rules of Love
Kissing on the fingers; hate.
Holding hands; I like you a lot.
Kissing on the hand; I adore you.
Kissing on the cheek; friendship.
Kissing on the back of the neck; I want you.
Biting on the lips; jealousy.
Kissing with the eyes; I'm in love with you.
Closing:
After a guy/girl has read this he/she must give the girl/boy who gave it to him five kisses. If she/he refuses, do it anyway.
(A lot of people get acquainted this way.)" Kisame reread what Sasori had read earlier.
"What the fuck?" Hidan asked.
"No one asked you, un!" Deidara yelled at him.
"Aw…pinky likes you!" Kisame said.
"Sasori-sempai and Sakura sittin in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love! Then comes marriage! Then comes a baby in a baby carriage!" Tobi yelled in a childish voice as the others gave kissing faces.
"You all are childish," Sasori mumbled.
"So?" Deidara asked trying not to laugh but finding it very hard.
"Shut up," Sasori said, glaring at his partner with everything he had.
"Tobi's right, ya know. Love. Marriage. Kid," Kisame said, smirking.
"I'm not having kids," Sasori stated.
"Why not? They're cool until they're teenagers. Then they're hell. Teenagers could probably be worse than us if they had the willpower," Kisame said.
"Why would I have a kid?" Sasori asked.
"Why are we even having this conversation, un?" Deidara asked.
"Good point," Kisame said.
"This is fucking ridiculous," Hidan mumbled.
"I got an idea, un!" Deidara cheered.
"What, Deidara-sempai?' Tobi asked.
"Let's ask the girls if they like gang bangs, un!" Deidara said and Sasori sweatdropped.
"Idiot…" Itachi mumbled.
"That was…weird," Pein stated, eye twitching.
"You wanna make a bet, Pein?" Tsunade asked, grinning madly.
"Fine. They have a gang bang within the span of this show and you pay me a thousand yen," Pein stated.
"And if they don't you give me a thousand yen," Tsunade agreed. Pein smirked. This would be fun…Konan shook her head in disapproval.
I just have one thing to say! I did not write the Constitution of Love! My mom and her friends would pass it back and forth when they were kids. I found it when I was helping my mom clean the basement!!! I think it's pretty cool though!