Warning: Lemon. SasuNaru. Yaoi. Language.

--You've Got Male--

Sasuke signed onto his computer and went to check him e-mail. He had been gone for a week on a D-Rank snow shoveling mission and he probably had a lot of mail to delete.

Clicking the 'Send/Receive' button, his mailbox was suddenly raped with fan-mail. Opting to just delete the lot of it Sasuke settled the cursor over the 'Delete All Files' button until one caught his eyes.

'Re: You've Got Male.'

A quizzical look etched itself on Sasuke's face.

"Stupid dorks and their chatspeak." Yes, curiosity got the better of him and he found himself clicking the link.

'To my dearest (foolish) little brother,

Click the link and thank me later.

Mr. Cool Purple Nail-polish wearer. (Itachi…the cool one.)'

His eyebrows shot for his hairline as he noted the sender. So without thinking much, he clicked the link.

Downloading…

Downloading…

Downlo—

Whatever Sasuke thought it was going to be. This definitely wasn't it.

Scroll after scroll, he was faced with more and more erotic pictures of Naruto. Most of which were likely photo-shopped.

Naruto bent over on his hands and knees and fishing for something under the couch in a French maids' uniform. Pink lacey panties covered his ass and Sasuke cursed his luck inwardly from the censorship…or lack there-of. His eyes were slit in concentration and a pink tongue stuck out slightly from the corner of his mouth, reaching for what ever was lost under the couch.

Another one was of Naruto curled under the shade of a tree nearly naked except for nine-tails, cat like paws and fox ears. A small contented smile spread on Naruto's face.

There was one with Naruto eating an ice-cream with his eyes closed in bliss and his mouth in the middle of a moan of appreciation. He had a small speck of vanilla ice-cream near his lips.

Then there was one with Naruto showering and the angle showed his rump and he bent over to wash his legs. The 'Sacred place' –as Sasuke calls it- was taunting him to come get a piece. Tanned, tight and so damn touchable.

'Oh God…'

After seeing these pictures, Sasuke developed a difficult problem. Searching his brain for something to quell the beast between his legs, he found nothing. He knew a cold shower would do nothing and so he trailed his hand down to his zipper and tugged it down. There was a small noise downstairs that Sasuke ignored as he hooked his thumbs under the hem of his pants and pulled them down to rest mid-thigh.

He hovered his hand above his hard-on, thinking about what foreplay that he and Naruto must've gone through to get him like this in his fantasy. Just as he was about to start, the door crashed open to reveal Naruto grinning like an imp.

"Oi, Suke-chan! Lookie what…I…found… Suke-chan?" He looked Sasuke in the eye, then down at his waiting hand and then back in his eyes and blushed beet red.

"Su-SUKE-HENTAI!" He covered his eyes and turned around.

Sasuke felt numb. Just as he when he was going to join two friends together that had been separated for at least a week, this dobe comes barging in and… wait. His brain finally registers an important thought. Who needed a hand when the person who you were just about to jerk off to is right in front of you? A gleam flashed through Sasuke's eye.

He stood up and let his pants and boxers slide down to the floor while Naruto was completely oblivious to the approaching seme. He grabbed Naruto around the waist and sucked the lobe of his ear into his mouth.

Naruto squeaked and struggled against the brunette's hold. He almost let out a sigh of relief when he heard the doorbell ring. Sasuke just smirked and pulled out a rope from no where. The blonde gulped and cried on the inside as Sasuke tied him to the bed.

He left his little sunshine and opened the door to be met with two feet of snow and a package. He walked to the counter and placed it down. When he opened it he damn near cackled with evil joy. Inside were toys among toys among toys galore. Sailor suits, Neko costumes, Lolita clothes, handcuffs, flavored lubes and condoms, chocolate syrup and honey, fruits, clothespins, a vibrator, a blindfold, duct tape, a collection of Icha Icha Paradise: Yaoi addition and so many more things that would make even Jiraiya blush.

Sasuke walked upstairs with a goofy smile on his face carrying the box. He kicked open the door and grinned down at his captive.

"Oh, Naru-chan!" He grabbed a few things from the box and pounced, leaving the package near the door.

The label read,

'To: Uchiha, Sasuke

From: Uchiha, Itachi

Message: Merry Christmas dear brother. Spend it with someone you love.'

OWARI!

Nomi: Yay! Another one! Hope you liked it.

Mol: lol. Yay, Itachi shared the love this year.

Nomi: I love a nice Itachi.

Mol: Me too.

Both: Ja! R&R Please!