Her father was disappointed at her decision.

He never said it, though, but she could tell. For example, he only called once a month.

Even back then when she had a trip to Italy, not because of work and out of dangers, he called her every day. She understood that it had been 10 years since the trip, that she was now 34 and more mature, but he was still her dad after all.

Sometimes she thought that no one cares anymore.

She was still in contact with Lanie and the boys, but it hurt too much just to hear their voices.

Voice, just like scent, they're things that would never leave your mind. It comforted you. It scared you. It's one of those reasons why sometimes people couldn't move on. Voice never was just a voice.

She missed Castle. She missed her home. For some people, home isn't a place, it's a person. And he was her home.

Never had she thought on her life that there would be a day when she stopped drinking coffee. Coffee was her drug, her must-drink, her completion of day...and to be honest, she didn't miss any of it - drinking coffee, the taste of it, the smell of it..

She only missed the person who brought it to her.

As the new member of the Federal Agent, she was busier than others.

Sometimes she came back from work at four in the morning, and her new friend, which is her new co-worker, had waited for her. Her partner here is older just by four years from her, and she had helped her so much with her situation. She asked her to live together in her apartment, and she thought, why not?

Her name was Sarah. She had a child, she was from Seattle, and…she was a fan of Castle. She knew how to behave, though. It took her two months until she asked Kate.

"So tell me more about Castle." Asked her as she combed her short, black hair.

"Should I really?" Kate sighed as the image of him, Castle, came back. Not that he ever left.

"Come on, I told you about Mike all the time. It's your turn."

Mike was Sara's husband. They were crazily in love, and what funny was, never Kate heard Sara told her about her daughter Alyssa unless she asked. All she told her was just how adorable, how understanding, and how handsome he was. They were already married for three years now.

Something that might've already happened to her and Castle if only she didn't leave.

"Okay, where do I start?"

"The way you two meet, things he had done for you, and things you had done for him."

Kate frowned. "Things we had done for each other? Does it matter?"

Sarah shrugged. "Every little things of it matters. I mean – I get all over the moon when Mike held my hand." She then laughed – they both do.

"Well, yeah, we met because someone was killed the same way he did on his novel."

"Let me guess, In Hail of Bullets?"

"No. No. Flowers For Your Grave."

"You don't say the body was covered with flowers too?"

"It is covered with flowers!"

"She almost took a bullet for protecting you and told you he loved you?! And you didn't contact him for three months?!"

Kate looked to the floor, avoiding her eyes. "Yes, and I lied to him. I told him I didn't remember everything, including his words."

Sarah shook her head. "You don't need to lie to me, it's already dramatic the way it is, don't add things."

"I'm being serious here."

Sarah was really good to her, and she was grateful of it. It made her easier to tell Sara things they've been through together. The freezer, the tigers, the bomb…

It took her two hours to tell Sarah what Castle did to her. It only took fifteen minutes to tell her what she did to him.

"Kate, I must admit, it was one of the best love story I've ever heard. I just don't understand why he hadn't showed up here. I wanted to meet him."

Kate closed her eyes tightly and covered her face with her hands. "I didn't tell him I went for the interview."

"Are you kidding me?! But you're her girlfriend and partner, you've decided to be together. When you came up to his door that night, didn't you realize that you both are going to be together? Not just in love life, but in…other things, too?"

"I..I did, I just didn't think that it would mean so much to him."

"Of course it would! He chased you for four years, Kate. He stood by your side through the reason you were shot you didn't want to tell me, he came back to you after you didn't call him for three months, he forgave you after you lied to him, God, he didn't leave when you stepped on that damn bomb! How did you think he would feel when you decided not to hide it from him? Of course he wanted to break up!"

Kate felt tears pricked from her eyes. "It wasn't the reason we broke up. We haven't even broken up officially."

"It's not?"

"No…He proposed me."

"And you didn't say yes?"

Kate gave her a small nod. Sarah moved beside her and gave her a small hug. "I like you, Kate. But I think you're a total idiot."

Sometimes we need other people to see right through us.

She only called him for the first two months. The rest weren't her, but Sarah. And Kate was okay with it.

She didn't know that sometimes she talked in her sleep, calling his name, mostly when she had nightmare. Sarah would wake up and took Kate's phone, called Castle, and when it went to voice mail, she put the phone right in front of the sleeping Kate.

She thought they both deserved to have each other again, to love each other again, to come back to each other.

They both deserved happy ending.

It has been a year since the last time she saw the Empire State building, since the last time she was the owner of Badge 41319. She didn't even come to meet the baby Ryan because work didn't allow her, and it killed her.

Maybe people didn't care because they thought she didn't care too.

Maybe she wasn't trying as hard as others.

The first place she came to was the swing set. She regretted saying 'not now' – she regretted leaving New York – she regretted so many things. And she was going to fix it.

She called her daughter.

"Kate! How are you? We miss you. Is everything okay?"

"I'm fine, Alexis. And I miss you too, how are you?"

"Good. I can't wait to see Max tomorrow."

"You're coming back to your dorm tomorrow?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Umm…nothing."

"Oh my God! Are you in New York? "

She laughed at the excitement of the younger woman's voice. "Yes, Alexis, I am. I just wonder if we can meet today, are you free?"

"Yeah! Of course I am. Place and time?"

"Just text me your favorite cinema, but we're definitely going to watch The Amazing Spiderman 2."

"Ok, I'm going to print my ticket. Have you bought the ticket?"

"Yes, but I only have one. I'll buy more for you."

"No – I got this. What row are you in?"

"F. I'll buy the food."

"Good. And Kate, can I bring-"

"-yes."

She swore there were firework.

He looked thinner than she remembered and it wasn't in a healthy way. He was still as ruggedly handsome as ever, but he was hurting - and she was the reason. And it hurts when she saw him in pain. It hurts more when she knew she caused it.

Sarah was right. I was a total idiot.

He got closer to their row when she saw his face fell. Based on the look on his face, she was pretty sure Alexis didn't tell him that he was going to meet her. He would probably leave after knowing that she was here, but he didn't, and there was when she realized - maybe he still wanted this. Maybe he missed her as much as she did. Maybe they could be something she agreed one year ago at the swing set - more. More than just the people they were. She messed up, but maybe -

Maybe there was still hope.

Her blue eyes were on her the entire movie. She wished she could do the same because she missed him so damn much, but she was sure as hell it would be awkward if he noticed she did the same thing. It wasn't a movie - their life wasn't a movie, she learned it years ago, and there was nothing such as finding each others' eyes in the dark of the room and looked at each other deeply, especially at their situation.

But she thought too much, just like always, and she was going to stop.

I need to see his face.

She couldn't take it any longer – she missed him so much.

I need to see his face.

She was going to fix everything.

I need to see his face.

The light brightened before she knew it.

AN: What do you think? And again, should I continue? Oh, and thank you for the reviews, good or bad, nice or rude, straight or with sarcasm, I really am thankful for them. Much appreciated!