Behind the Shell: The Life of Bowser
Lemmy and Larry
The film crew was on a golf course conversating with one another, wondering if they should continue their interview with Bowser.
"He broke my shell!"
"You said he was fat--"
"He is fat! You really think all that bulk is really muscle? Why do you think my shell broke when he sat on me?!"
"Don't you mean when he put you in a headlock and then body-slammed you and then sat on you which broke your shell?" joked Paul.
"Shut up! You're not the one who had to tape his shell back together! This is so embarrassing..."
"As long as we don't insult him again, there shouldn't be a problem."
"What about the time when he started farting in the middle of nowhere?" asked Paul.
"Like you never broke wind after eating chili and rotten eggs." said Koket, the camerakoopa.
"See, I don't eat Koops chili or rotten Bowser eggs so--"
Paul yelped when something exploded with water right next to his foot.
"What was that?" asked Koket.
"I dunno but--"
Koket shouted when a water balloon landed on his head, soaking him.
"Who threw that?!" he yelled.
Suddenly two more fell from the sky, hitting another koopa crew member.
"Okay, who threw that?" he asked.
Everyone looked up and noticed that several different colored balloons filled with water were falling down from the sky.
"What the--"
All the koopas and golfers began shouting and yelling as several water balloons exploded on their heads.
"WHY IS IT RAINING WATER BALLOONS?!" yelled Koket.
"Get back to the van now!"
All the koopas were running on the field like idiots trying to avoid getting impaled by water enclosed by rubber.
"AHH! Cold, cold, cold, that's cold!" said Paul, hopping up and down when a water balloon fell in his shell.
He tripped over twig on the ground and was attacked by massive water balloons, so much that his shell began to crack.
"WHERE ARE THESE WATER BALLOONS COMING FROM?!"
Lemmy and Larry Koopa were laughing like hyenas on the floor of a plane. Lemmy decided to play another one of his usual pranks involving water balloons. Why should it rain water when it should rain balloons filled with water?
"How many balloons we got left?" asked Lemmy.
"Another box worth, plus that big trash bag you filled up with oil." said Larry.
"Awww...I wanted to throw more!"
Larry laughed. "Yeah! It was funny when that one koopa kept hoppin' up and down when it got in his shell!"
"He was all like 'AHH! I got water in my shell!'"
Larry and Lemmy started howling with laughter again until Lemmy said, "Okay, okay. Let's just dump that last box."
"Got it. Bombs away!!" said Larry, kicking the box out the plane.
"WHEW!! Made it to the van. Let's drive back before--"
"Hey, wait up! Don't leave me back here!" said Paul.
The box that Larry kicked out of the plane fell on top of Paul, covering most of his body.
"Who turned out the lights?"
The rest of the water balloons pummeled Paul, nearing drowning him in the aftermath. He screamed with frustration and ripped the box apart, rushing into the van.
"Paul what--"
"Just shut up and go before--"
The giant balloon filled with oil slammed into the windshield and exploded into the van, dousing everyone with oil and messing up most of the equipment. The back doors busted open and all the video tapes and crew member spilled out, completely covered in oil. All the koopas were whining and groaning.
Evil Laughter
"Where were you guys? I've been waiting an hour!" said Bowser.
"What does it look like? We're covered in oil!" said Paul.
"Really? How'd that happen?"
"A balloon filled with oil fell on our van and--why are you smiling?"
"I'm not smiling." said Bowser, smiling.
"Yeah, you are."
"No, I'm not."
"Yeah, you are!"
"No, I'm not."
"Yeah--"
"Are you implying something Paul? Something I did to your well-being...?" growled Bowser.
Paul didn't want to offend Bowser and get his shell broken like Kipps, so he just said,
"Uh...no, no. Just askin'."
"Good." he said, smiling smirkly again.
"Why do we have to practice evil laughing, Pop?" complained Morton Koopa Jr.
"I know! If I have to face Mario, I'd be more concerned on blasting him to smitherrens instead of laughing!" said Iggy Koopa.
"Because when you decide to rule the world after Mario's gone, you need something to persuade all your followers to join you with no hesitation." said Bowser.
"So we laugh; that makes sense." muttered Iggy.
"Do not question your father's methods of conquering! Just do what I say. Now laugh."
"No."
"What?"
"I don't see the big deal between laughing and training ourselves to fight Mario." said Morton.
"We should just--"
"I SAID LAUGH!!"
Morton Koopa Jr. and Iggy Koopa started laughing evilly, even though it was forced a little.
"So how does this help you guys defeat Mario?" asked Koket.
"I'll get back to that later. That's the spirit boys! Let the evil energy flow through you!"
"Wow...this is actually working. I feel like breaking something right now or blowin' something up!" said Morton.
"Just like this boys: MWAHAHAHAHA!!"
Morton and Iggy groaned and slowly back up, offended by Bowser's bad breath.
Iggy groaned and said, "Uhh...that's enough for now."
"Yeah...we're gonna...do something...somewhere else."
Iggy and Morton Koopa Jr. ran away.
"Hey, where you goin'?"
"Maybe they went to go...blow something up?" suggested Koket.
"What, is it my breath?"
Bowser exhaled into his hand and smelled his breath.
"Smells fine to me."
"It smells like brimstone and a forest fire mixed with bad cabbage!" said Paul.
"Paul I don't think you should--"
"NO! I'm not gonna stand around smelling your bad breath Bowser!"
"What?" muttered Bowser, gutturally.
"Look I know it's not your fault your breath reeks of brimstone; you breathe fire. But maaaannn, that rancid odor is starting to get to me. I didn't know your breath stinks so bad up until now. So I bought you some breath mints--"
"What!"
Paul gulped. "C'mon buddy. I'm trying to help you out."
"I'm not your buddy! And I know my breath has an offensive odor; that's why I don't use breath mints, because it tells my enemies to stop messing with me!"
"I was just--"
"If you don't want to smell my breath, I'll just fry you with it!"
Bowser's chest began to get orange and fire was developing in his stomach. Koket and the others stepped back.
"Do not breathe your fire breath on me!"
Koket yelped and the others started to run away.
"Bowser, no!"
Please excuse us. We're experiencing technical difficulties.
"Umm...I'm gonna go interview some of his kids." said Koket.
Bully
Koket decided to interview Bowser's destructive son, Roy Koopa. Nothing happened at the beginning, except Roy simply stood in front of the camera. Eventually, he started out by saying,
"One time my Dad pooped in Mario's yard and lied about it."
"I knew it! I knew it was him! I spent two hours cleaning that up!" said Mario, watching the interview on television.
"Yeah, your dad's done a lotta weird things." said Koket.
"Since your dad is busy roasting my boss, I might as well interview you for the time being. Where do you stand in the family?
"The Bully. Look at these muscles man! Look at 'em!!" said Roy, flexing his muscles.
"Yeah, you're dad did the same thing. How come you're the bully of the family again?"
"Well...there was the time I pushed my sister in the garbage chute..."
"Hey Wendy, what's that in the garbage chute?" asked Roy.
"Where?" said Wendy.
Roy abruptly shoved Wendy down the chute and walked away, casually whistling.
"And the time I ate Ludwig's special hamburg..."
"MMM!! My favorite hamburger with the special sauce and spices sprinkled on top!" said Ludwig von Koopa.
"Hey, Ludwig! Larry's tryin' to steal your trumpet again!"
"What! LARRY!! Put my trumpet down! It is not a bubble blower!" yelled Ludwig, running upstairs.
As soon as he began to run, Roy picked up his burger and examined it. Then he shoved it in his mouth and walked away.
"Roy, no one's tryin' to steal my..."
Roy looked down and saw that his plate was empty. He whined and muttered, "My hamburger..."
"And the time I put laxatives in Morton's brownie...
"I wanted the last brownie!" whined Roy.
"Too bad Roy, cause I got it!" said Morton.
Right as Morton was gonna eat the brownie, he stopped and said, "I'm gonna need milk."
When Morton walked away, Roy put a massive brown laxative inside it. Morton took the brownie and tossed it in his mouth, drinking the cold milk afterwards.
"Yeah, that was a good brownie."
"I bet it was..." muttered Roy.
"Why are you smi--"
Morton grunted and held his stomach as it growled viciously at him. Roy slowly lifted the box of laxatives and smiled widely.
"You suck! I swear I'm gonna--"
Morton grunted again and ran towards the bathroom.
"And the time I put a stinkbomb in Iggy's closet..."
"I don't see why Roy told me to go to my closet. Nothing's in hear except for--"
Something exploded in his face, emitting a green mist.
"ROOOOOOOOYYYY!! Did you put a stinkbomb in my closet?! I'm gonna smell like this for weeks!"
"And the time I--"
"Let's get off the subject of horrible things you did your family and back to your father."
"You mean Dad? Yeah, he's always around trying to plot against Mario and hardly includes us in anything. Not since our castles were destroyed."
"It's funny, I always pictured Bowser as a type of koopa who let his kids do all the work."
"Yeah...You want to see me throw a bowling ball."
"Throw--what?"
"Think fast!!" said Roy, throwing the ball at the camera.
Koket grunted and fell backward, unconscious.
Roy laughed. "Dude, you were supposed to catch the ball! ...Dude? Camerakoopa? Hello? Wake up sleepy head..."
We'll be right back after these messages.