Suzumiya Haruhi no Injun
(The Vacillation of Haruhi Suzumiya)

Chapter 1:

The next morning I got a call from Haruhi bright and early. What's the deal waking me up so soon? Didn't she need sleep?

"Don't worry about that," she said. "Just meet at the usual spot at ten. I mean it this time or you'll get a double penalty!"

That was strange. In any case, I met up with the entire SOS Brigade at our usual meeting place. As usual, I was the last one there, but I was rather surprised at the looks I was getting from the other brigadiers. Did they know about Haruhi's and my outing last night?

"Kyon!" Haruhi said. "You're late, again! Double penalty."

Maybe it wasn't such a good thing for Haruhi to like me; she seemed a bit more strict than usual. "Haruhi, didn't we have to study, today?"

"You may need to, but I have no use for studying!"

Well, I guess that answers that, though she certainly seemed concerned last night. So what exactly are we doing here, anyway?

"After last night," she said, "I realized that we need more excitement!"

Last night? And here I thought she said it wasn't that dull. So what kind of excitement was she talking about? Another rousing game of whodunit or perhaps a search for ghosts?

"We already searched for ghosts," Haruhi said. "But, no, I realized that things like that just aren't exciting enough. I mean something to really get our blood pumping! Something like…"

Skydiving! I don't know what insane spirit has possessed Haruhi's already insane head, but this… this was insane. We were 4 ¼ km in the air, contained within the Tsuruya family's private aircraft. Miss Tsuruya had given us all a brief tutorial on skydiving and had just opened the hatch to let us jump to our doom.

"I was really surprised you wanted to do this, though," she said. "Normally I'd advise against doing something like this right off the bat, but Haru-nyan was so insistent I just couldn't refuse."

Why the Hell not? Granted, no one in the SOS Brigade could refuse, either, no matter how loudly we protested. Poor Miss Asahina was clinging to Tsuruya's leg with a vice-like grip. Don't worry, Miss Asahina, I won't let anything happen to you, even if I have to shield you from the impact with my own body!

"Sorry, but that's not happening," Haruhi interjected. "You're going down first!" I would have refused, but before I knew it she had grabbed me by the arm and literally threw me out the door, giving me only a brief reminder. "Remember, 60 seconds then pull!"

That was how I ended up in midair kilometers away from certain death. Not long afterward, I noticed out the corner of my tear-blurred eyes that Koizumi had caught up with me. "Hey, Kyon," he greeted me.

"Wh-wha?" I managed to choke out.

"I was surprised that you didn't meet us, yesterday. It was quite shocking to all of us, actually," he said.

Wait, what? When was I supposed to meet you guys? I was only meeting Haruhi last night. At that point, Koizumi motioned that it was time to pull on our parachutes, so we did, slowing abruptly. "After we left the club room on Friday," he yelled to me. "We were told to meet at the usual place at 8 pm. Suzumiya Haruhi had apparently found a very detailed description of a mysterious girl inside a mansion who appeared every Saturday night. We traveled to the outskirts of town to see it."

"Hold it!" I shouted back. "She told me to meet her at five in the usual place!"

"Did she?" Koizumi asked, puzzled. "Well… it was strange, as she didn't seem very annoyed that you weren't there. Not only that, but usually when you displease her in such a way, I get reports of Sealed Reality increases. However, that wasn't the case at the time. Maybe… has she lost interest in you, Kyon?"

"What do you mean, lost interest?" I said. "I'm trying to tell you I was actually with Haruhi yesterday. From five until midnight!" We were now approaching the ground quickly. I momentarily forgot the conversation and clenched my eyes shut as I landed. The landing was rather rough, actually. I ended up rolling end over end on the ground before finally settling on my back. I could see Nagato in her parachute close to landing, as well as Haruhi and Asahina further up.

"Did you say you were with Haruhi?" Kyon asked. "Up until midnight? That's very strange as we were at that house until after midnight. You're sure you didn't dream it?"

That was impossible. There was no way I could have dreamed all that happened that night. Especially the last part.

Nagato had landed at this point and said, "Last night we encountered a data space anomaly fabricated by the MacrospatialQuantum CosmicExistence, presumably a trap specifically designed to lure Suzumiya Haruhi. We thwarted the anomaly; however, it may be that this situation is a continuation of its machinations."

Thank you for your ever precise and so-easy-to-understand explanation Nagato. I did recognize the name of that opposing species of data entity that had interfered with our winter co-ed, though. If that thing was involved, it might explain why Haruhi seemed to be in two places at the same time. Before I could ask any more about it, Haruhi ran up, dragging Miss Asahina behind her.

"Wasn't that just awesome?" she asked. "Let's do it again!"

There was no way I was jumping out of another plane. That was a little too much excitement bordering on the suicidal. Not that hanging out with Haruhi was any less suicidal, anyway, but this was a bit too in-your-face.

"Geez, Kyon," Haruhi whined. "You're always such a buzz-kill. I'm getting tired of you holding me back!" She glared in an annoyed manner at me, then snapped her fingers. "Fine, anyone who wants to go, come with me. For the rest of you, you're dismissed."

I was a bit dubious about this, but I certainly wasn't going to do that again. Miss Asahina certainly didn't deserve that kind of scare again.

- - -

I didn't see Haruhi again until the next day at school. Asahina had abandoned Haruhi to her adrenaline high along with me, naturally, but Nagato and Koizumi had humored her awhile longer. Not surprising to me as Koizumi was a natural yes-man and I'm pretty sure Nagato had absolutely no fear.

That Monday morning, though, I found Haruhi looking very low-key with her nose in her text books. She was so unconcerned with her test yesterday, I wondered why she seemed so intent, now.

"Quiet," she told me. "I'm busy."

Well, I hadn't heard her so irate since the first time I tried to talk with her. Maybe she was still angry with me after leaving her, yesterday. Well, I don't know why I should feel bad about that. I know that Nagato could probably have saved me if my parachute had failed, but Haruhi didn't know that. She just didn't consider anyone else's feelings. Whatever. It wasn't my concern. She was like that the rest of the day, not even getting up to patrol the school as usual.

"Are you okay, Haruhi?" I asked her over lunch. "Listen... if I hadn't feared for my life, I would have been happy to stick around yesterday."

Haruhi looked up from her notes with an annoyed look on her face. "I don't know what you're talking about. Anyway, I won't be coming to the SOS Brigade meeting, today. You can do what you want."

Well, that's fine. So are you just going to leave it to me to tell everyone else since you haven't left the classroom, today?

It should suffice to say that, yes, that task did fall to me. When class ended, I walked to the Literature Club room and opened the door to tell my fellow members the good news. I was very surprised at what I saw.

"Hey, Kyon-chan! I've been waiting for you!"

It was Suzumiya Haruhi. She bounded toward me, tackling me back out into the hall. I looked over her ponytail and into the clubroom to see Koizumi and Miss Asahina staring at us. Haruhi let go of me and grabbed my hand, bouncing back into the room.

"I started making this for you, yesterday," she said, grabbing a box on the table. "It was my first time doing something like this, but I hope you like it!"

I took the box from her, but at that moment, I noticed her armband. It was pink, today, and written on it... well, they were not the words "Brigade Chief," nor anything similar. The characters written on her arm were as follows: "Kyon's Girl."

Haruhi, I hope no one has seen you with that.

"Well, no," she said to my relief. "I mean, besides these guys and the people I passed on the street and in the halls and when I went to the store..." I was suddenly much less relieved.

"K-Kyon-kun," Miss Asahina said shyly. "I-I wish you both happiness..." Oh, Miss Asahina, please don't listen to anything this mentally unbalanced girl says. You're the only girl for me!

"Yes, Kyon. Please take care of Miss Suzumiya for me," Koizumi told me with that infuriating smile. "I'm leaving it up to you." Dammit, you bastard, this isn't funny at all.

"Oh, that reminds me!" she said. "Open up the gift, hurry!"

I opened it, fearful that some kind of embarrassing item would be revealed. I was correct, as I pulled out a sweater, very finely knit I'll admit, but it was pink, for one. Not only that, it had a big heart emblazoned across it with my name written within. Was this some kind of joke?

"I'm completely serious," Haruhi protested. "I only finished it a couple hours ago. I skipped school just to do it for you."

Wait, she skipped school? Then who was that in our classroom just now? I was really beginning to get confused. Maybe this was the Macrospacial... well, you know.

Regardless, Haruhi made me sit down beside her, and she spent the rest of the hour with her hand either on my hand or on my thigh, which was rather disconcerting. It wasn't quite as strange as the fact that she also spent that time chatting with the other members in a genuinely interested and considerate manner. She even tried to strike up a conversation with Nagato.

The end of the hour came again with the closing of Nagato's book, and we disbanded, with the exception of Haruhi and me. She insisted on walking me home. "Haruhi," I said to her as we were halfway to my home."

"Yes, Kyon-chan?"

"I was wondering... what exactly made you... ah... do this?" I asked, gesturing at her armband and the sweater she forced me to put on.

"No one made me, stupid," Haruhi said. That certainly sounded like Haruhi, all right. "I like you. I think I've liked you for a long time." That was the thing that was out of place.

"It's not that," Haruhi said. "I didn't really know what I was feeling at first. I mean, when you first started talking to me, I thought you were just another stupid guy, though you did remind me of someone I had a crush on a long time ago." Her cheeks were red again. Was it that cold out, this afternoon?

"Of course, when you figured out my plans, I realized you were a clever stupid guy!" Even when she liked me she was doing this kind of thing. How I wished I could be spending this time with Miss Asahina, who would be demure and cute, and who would endearingly reply "Classified information" to just about anything I asked.

"I guess that's when I started feeling like you were special. No one else had ever done that, but even more impressive was... well, you were the one who inspired me to create the SOS Brigade. You were the one who brought fun back into my life."

It was just a lame, off-hand comment. I really wasn't even thinking about it, I just felt like I should say something to make you feel better.

"Even so, you knew me better than any of those other idiots who tried to talk to me. You always had good ideas, and I felt like even if I rejected the rest of the world, you were the one person I didn't want to ever change."

I'd figured that part out, though it still confuses me.

"And... after that dream..."

Uh, oh. I had a sinking feeling that she was about to reference that incident. I'd tried not to think about it too much, because to be honest even I was unsure about what had really happened. What I did back there, it was completely by impulse!

"I dreamed that we were all alone and the world was falling apart around us," she said. "I knew that the world would be reborn better than before, but you kept saying you wanted to go back to the way things were. At first I didn't understand, but then you... you kissed me." She frowned at that. "And without my permission, too! It was very unbecoming of a subordinate! But... when you did I knew there was one good reason to keep faith in this world."

I'm flattered, really. But that still doesn't explain it well enough for me. Have you really liked me all this time and not said anything about it? That doesn't sound like the Haruhi I know.

"Idiot," she said. "I already told you that I wasn't sure. I've never really felt this way before. There've been a few hot guys I dated. They were the ones I kept around a week when I was feeling really randy."

Oh, God, please don't say things like that to me.

"But... I dunno, I didn't feel all hot and bothered around you. It's more like I couldn't get you off my mind. I trust you completely, and I hate the thought of you not paying attention to me. And I just get this warm feeling all over when I think about you."

She smiled brightly. "I remember this winter when we were trying to find out way back to Tsuruya's cabin. I had this hallucination, I guess. We ended up in a big house, and had to spend the night. Before I went to sleep, though, I thought you came into the room."

She gave me a look that reminded me somewhat of Koizumi's look on that particular occasion. It was a bit less creepy coming from a girl, but not much given that it was Haruhi. "You tried to do some naughty things to me. At first... well, I was pretty surprised when you did what you did in there. After a minute or so I realized what was going on, so I popped you one, and you ran away. To be honest, I got this weird thought afterward that I would have liked it if you'd stuck around, but it wasn't even really you, anyway..." she laughed. "It's really funny to have a hallucination within a hallucination, isn't it?"

Yes, it would be, but I can't help but feel that we're getting off topic.

"Yeah, well, I think that's when the idea crossed my mind that I might have some kind of feelings for you. I didn't want to bring it up because I'd rather you be my friend and subordinate in the SOS Brigade than have something happen to where you didn't feel the same way and you wouldn't want to be with me anymore." Her face looked dejected from the mere thought and I had the most insane notion to gather her up in a loving embrace. The saner part of my brain repressed this, but just barely.

"I even tried to tell you this Valentine's Day. With the chocolate." She gave me a small smile. "It was so embarrassing. Giving you that honmei chocolate, I thought you'd say something about it..."

Lover's chocolate? As I recall, the simple descriptive word "chocolate" was the only thing written on that homemade sweet. I do recall that you ordered Asahina to specify that her chocolate was giri (obligation) chocolate, though.

"Yeah, well," she said, frowning. "I love Mikuru-chan, but I don't like the way you two look at each other as it is."

Aha.

"Anyway, I specifically put giri chocolate on Koizumi's, but left it off of yours. I... well, the other girls were right there, and I certainly wasn't just going to broadcast something that embarrassing!" her eyes became shifty all of a sudden. "I think Mikuru might have figured it out. Yeah, I remember her looking at them before I wrapped them up and then giving that moe look like she was about to cry."

I can assure you that Nagato probably noticed, as well, but she's not exactly one to cry about it. Why would you think I'd want to compare my chocolates with Koizumi, anyway? I'd rather not be compared to him in any way. Smug bastard probably got plenty of honmei chocolates from the girls in his class. Curse these average looks of mine.

We had just about reached my house at this point, so we settled into what was, for me, an uncomfortable silence. She didn't seem to feel quite the same as she clung to my arm. Funny, I'd suggested she do just that back in that Sealed Reality. Not that I had really wanted her to do that at the time, I was just teasing is all.

Whatever. She walked me to the door of my place, but when I opened the door to enter, she didn't let go of my arm. I turned to see her looking expectantly at me with shining eyes. Don't tell me she wanted me to…? Well, I guess if it's for the fate of the world, I should probably do something.

Fate looked kindly on me this day, I decided as my phone began to ring. Haruhi looked disappointed as I looked at the Caller ID. It was Yuki Nagato. I pressed the answer button and held the phone to my ear.

"….."

"Nagato?" I asked.

"Your presence is requested," she breathed softly.

Requested by whom, exactly? Not that it particularly mattered, I suppose. I put my shoes back on and headed toward her apartment, then, hoping that whatever reason she called me didn't involve having to save the world. That's right, Nagato invited me over to drink tea and watch anime all the time. No, given the current circumstances, I had the feeling things were about to get more complicated.

"Hey, is that Kyon?" I heard a voice say in the background. "Tell him 'hi' for me." That voice sounded very familiar, but that was…

"Haruhi Suzumiya has requested that I say 'hi' for her. 'Hi.'"

Well, that was a bit literal, Nagato, so… wait, Haruhi?!

"Eh? What is it, Kyon-chan?" Haruhi asked. The Haruhi standing in front of me, that is.

"S-sorry, Haruhi," I said, "I need to go to Nagato's place real quick." With that, I began to dash off.

"W-wait a minute, how do you know where Yuki lives?" Haruhi hollered after me.

Upon arriving at Nagato's apartment, I was buzzed in per usual. I hesitated on opening her door. This had to be some kind of horrible nightmare. I closed my eyes and repeated that thought in my head a few times and then walked in.

"Hey, Kyon, what's up?"

Haruhi Suzumiya. She was curled up in the corner of Nagato's living room with manga and light novels strewn about her. It looked like she was in training to become as much a bibliophile as Nagato, though she still had a ways to go judging by the material.

So what was going on here?

"Haruhi Suzumiya has been here since I arrived from our meeting today. She was interested in borrowing some of my lighter reading material."

So these were Nagato's? I hadn't figured her for reading such things, though maybe she just went through them too quickly to last through a school day. Nagato's reading habits aside, though, just what was a Haruhi doing at her apartment when I had just left another Haruhi at my doorstep? Maybe… maybe somehow Haruhi had given herself super speed or learned how to do Instant Transmission. No, that was stupid. Maybe one of these Haruhi's was a member of the Quantum guys impersonating her. But you'd think Nagato would have caught on.

"Kyon-chan!" Haruhi's voice suddenly came through the intercom. "Kyon-chan, are you up there with Yuki? You'd better not be two-timing me, you bastard, or it's the triple death penalty!"

Let's not consider how, exactly, she could kill me three times. I have a feeling she would find a way. On the other, hand, I looked over at the Haruhi already in the room. She simply looked up at me with a weird look on her face. "What, do you have a girlfriend, now? Sounds pretty tsundere to me."

Yes, that would describe you rather well, Haruhi.

"Aah!" Haruhi's voice exclaimed from the intercom. "I'm coming up, now. Don't do anything weird to Yuki, got it?"

Damn, she was probably going to use the same method she did when getting up here back when we investigated Miss Asakura's disappearance, though it was no mystery to Nagato and me. What would happen if she came up here and saw an identical person standing right there? Well, she'd probably come to the natural conclusion and figure it was her polar twin (I hesitate to say "evil," as Haruhi's own moral standing was ambiguous as it was), a pod person, or a slider from another dimension. Well, that would be the natural conclusion for Haruhi, anyway.

I rushed out the door to see Haruhi running down the hallway toward me, her ponytail bouncing sensually on top of her head, swaying invitingly with the breeze. "Haruhi!" I said. "Wait a second!" As would any Haruhi, she chose to ignore me and instead performed a flying kick to my face.

"You jerk!" she cried, straddling my body with her legs and grabbing my collar. "You're going behind my back to fool around with Yuki, aren't you? I should have known you weren't being honest when I asked you about your relationship with her back then!"

Apparently she had forgotten that this exchange occurred during what she was supposed to think was a hallucination.

"And the way she always stares at you when she thinks no one is looking!"

Did she? Well, I'm a bit flattered, but I think you might be taking that a bit far.

"And how you're always talking to her…"

Always? Anyway, what's wrong with talking to Nagato when she's a fellow Brigade member? You've definitely got the wrong idea.

She stopped ranting for a moment and pouted. If she thought being cute was going to help her… well, she was probably right, but I didn't like it. "Anyway," I tried to explain to her, "I just had to come over here because… Nagato has a friend over and… this friend really likes fighters. I happened to have Tekken 6, so I brought it over for her to play!"

"Oh," she said thoughtfully. Then she frowned again. "Wait a minute! You didn't even go into your house! Don't expect me to believe that you were carrying Tekken 6 around all d—"

Nagato's door suddenly opened and Haruhi appeared. "Kyon! Thanks for the game," she held up case for Tekken 6. Hey! That really was my game; it even had my name written in the corner. "I haven't played a fighter like this for awhile, it should be fun." She looked down at Haruhi sitting on top of me. "Oh, I hope I'm not interrupting something. Hmm… yeah, that's definitely tsundere behavior." She then closed the door.

So did she not notice that it was herself sitting on top of me, or was she just not surprised?

The Haruhi still sitting on top of me looked a bit stunned. Perhaps she had noticed. I, personally, didn't know how she wouldn't. She stood up and backed off of me, allowing me to rise. "Tsu-tsundere…" she stammered. "Hm… I guess I overreacted, then."

Well, I guess the only person Haruhi would listen to really was herself, but did she really not care that there were two of her? "Maybe you should go home and get some rest," I said.

"Yeah… I guess I am a bit tired," she said. "I'll see you later, Kyon-chan. Sorry about that… ah…" she poked her temple, indicating on herself where she had kicked me.

No, that's no problem, Haruhi. I get hit in the head by flying schoolgirls all the time. I'd almost be disappointed if you hadn't done it. Thankfully, she decided to go quietly, and I headed back into Nagato's apartment.

Haruhi was there playing my game, though I was at a loss as to where the television and game console had come from. I looked at Nagato and she nodded imperceptively. Apparently, she had used her data manipulation abilities both to transport my stuff here and to change the perception of the respective Haruhies. At least that's what I had guessed, and since Nagato seems to be as close to a god as one could get without being Haruhi, I assumed she knew that.

I wondered why this Haruhi was so wrapped up in books and video games.

"It's better than going out into the real world," she said absentmindedly while continuing to play. "Going to school, attending clubs, going on trips… it's all just too boring. I'd rather read a fantasy book where anything can happen."

Well that did sound quite a bit like Haruhi, too. I could certainly imagine her becoming engrossed in some fantasy story. However, the girl I knew wouldn't use fantasy to escape real life. She would bring fantasy into real life.

I sat across from Nagato and spoke quietly with her, though I doubt Haruhi was paying much attention anyway. "What do you think, Nagato? Is one of them an imposter?"

The pale humanoid interface remained silent for a moment, then responded. "The Haruhi Suzumiyas display the same data flares that characterize the original Haruhi Suzumiya's person. However, the parameters of each Haruhi Suzumiya's data have been altered."

Altered? In what way?

"Undetermined," Nagato said. "However, it seems to be linked to the subjects' unusual behavior."

I see. Here's another good one. How is it that there are more than one Haruhi Suzumiya around, which I can only assume has been the case since at least Saturday, and possibly as early as Friday, and yet they don't seem to have noticed each other?

"Possibility: the Haruhi Suzumiyas have been mentally conditioned to ignore each others' presence."

It seemed to me that something like that would be hard to ignore. Anyway, why would they have noticed each other in the hall? Okay, altered perception, but even so, one certainly heard the other's voice.

"Possibility: the Haruhi Suzumiyas have never been in the same space at one time."

That didn't seem possible. They would have had to have gone to sleep at some point. At least, that's what I would assume. They would have had to go to bed, sometime.

"Possibility: when the Haruhi Suzumiyas reach critical proximity, they are reintegrated."

I see. Then they would separate again when she wanted to make more trouble for me. In any case, that also seemed unlikely. The two Haruhies just now were close enough to see each other and yet didn't reintegrate. It was doubtful we would find out unless we did some kind of investigation, anyway.

"Perhaps a scan of Haruhi Suzumiya's dwelling would uncover new data concerning this phenomenon."

Maybe, but I didn't think I wanted to deal with that other Haruhi quite so soon. I was going to go back home and forget about this crazy situation for awhile. Apparently, she had gotten on okay for at least two days like this, so it should be okay to leave it until tomorrow. Perhaps I should stop listening to my procrastinatory side, though. It was this kind of thing that got me in trouble come exam time, and it was exactly this attitude that caused me the next helping of trouble as well.