AN: Absolutely no angst in this one! Plus there is an abundance of puppy love. Be prepared for fluff~!

Love Teachers

Remus Lupin knew everything. He knew when every class started, where they were held, and who was teaching. He could point out nearly every room in Hogwarts school without the use of the map, and he also knew when was the best time to sneak into the kitchens, teachers offices, or girl's dormitories, though he would never tell his friends that. Maybe the kitchens, that's all. However, one horrible moment led him to believe that maybe, there were some things that he still (desperately) needed to learn, and the library could not help him. He had nearly resigned himself to simply asking Lily when Sirius appeared with his own misfortunes.

"Remus you know how much I love you right?" He spoke rapidly.

"What do you want Sirius?" for whenever Sirius started a sentence like that there was always a catch. Usually it meant that Sirius had already done something foolish, like when he turned Remus' pillow into a baby alligator and left it on his bed, but in this case he could tell by the tone of his voice that Sirius was hinting at something else.

"I humbly request to become your student as of today!" He exclaimed.

"Student, of what? What am I supposed to be teaching you?" Remus inquired with some trepidation, for he feared that he might not be able to say no.

"How to win over a fair lady's heart." Remus snorted.

"Ha-ha, very funny Pads, way to rub my nose in it."

"I'm not joking Moony and furthermore I have no idea what you're grumbling about."

"You are asking me for dating advice. That in and of itself is preposterous, and I thought you were trying to mock me for being . . . dumped."

"Did you just say dumped? As in someone broke up with you?" He grabbed Remus by the shoulders and then started shaking him lightly, "Gods man I didn't even know you were dating!"

"I was." Remus mumbled and looked up at Sirius. "I guess you don't want me as your teacher anymore right?"

"No, I still do," Sirius, said thoughtfully, "I mean I did even when I thought you were . . . single so my request still stands. Will you, boy miracle worker among women, help me, Sirius Black, to get a girl?"

"You've already had-" Sirius slapped a hand over Remus' mouth,

"I don't want just any girl I want someone . . . who's interesting, clever, and who cares about more things than just . . . you know."

"Ah." Remus replied nodding. Sirius let him go smiling like a mad man.

"Is that a yes you'll be my teacher?"

"No, I'm still thinking."

"Come on Moony please?" He begged then he dropped on his knees and grabbed Remus's hands. " Please, Please I'll do anything . . . I'll lick your shoes!"

"Eww gross no don't" Remus hastily stopped him, but Sirius still had not released his hands and he could see that Sirius was scrambling for an idea to convince Remus.

"All right, on one condition."

"What?"

"You teach me how to . . . how to keep a woman."

"Really?" Sirius stood up and brushed off his knees; the stone floor had been mildly uncomfortable.

"Yes I'll help you if you help me, have we got a deal?" Remus questioned holding out his own hand.

"Absolutely." They shook on it.

~S~

"Lesson number one: The bedroom." Both Sirius and Remus were currently standing in their own dorm room sans their fellow roommates, Peter and James.

"Really Padfoot, you don't think we're moving too fast?" Remus asked in a fake seductive voice, he punctuated his words by leaning back on his bed and patting the spot next to him before bursting out laughing.

"Do you want a girl or not?" Sirius huffed looking a tad miffed.

"Yes yes, proceed." Remus held back a yawn and watched Sirius mentally prepare.

"All right imagine I'm a girl-" Remus chuckled again, "Imagine." He said sharply, "and we are about to engage in sexual acts, are you with me so far?"

"Yes Sirius."

"All right look at me as you would her."

"Excuse me?"

"I've just taken off all my clothes how will you look at me?" Sirius gestured toward his fully covered up body.

"Um . . . I am looking at you."

"Yeah like you think I'm loony, Jesus Moony I thought you'd be easier to teach."

"Okay okay I'm sorry." He shook his head then tried to gaze at Sirius as if he were a beautiful naked girl. He scanned down to his chest, but there was no way he could steer his thoughts to a female. He knew Sirius was all man and there was just no way around it, but he did have a nice chest. Very muscular even though he did not have the broad shoulders of Goyle and his waist was rather average not too trim nor too wide and his crotch, it's hard to tell through the pants but-

"Good job Remus, but remember eye contact is very important as well." Sirius grinned with his hands on his hips, "Perhaps you won't fail yet!" Remus swallowed and looked away.

"R-right." He mumbled.

"Now let's try it again Moony!" He wasn't sure if he wanted to, what if secretly Sirius was laughing at him?

"You'll look for any excuse to get people to check you out won't you?" He said with much less venom than he had intended.

"You caught me Moon, now try again we haven't got all day."

Moony returned to studying him and then Sirius nearly shouted,

"No, no no that's not it."

"What isn't it?"

"Look at me like . . ." He paused with a finger on his chin, "Like I just destroyed the moon."

"You really are insane."

He just raised his brows and waved his hand, "Again!"

~R~

"Okay Padfoot, if you were going to get your girlfriend a present for your first date, what would it be?"

"Um." He looked down at himself then back up at Remus with a knowing smirk.

"Please don't tell me, 'Me'. " Remus moaned putting his face in his hands.

"Well what more could a girl want?" Sirius said twirling his wand and making the quill on the professor's desk spin around in its stand.

"Can you please pay attention?"

"I am, but did we have to have our lesson in a classroom? Really Moony it's so boring."

"You do it your way, I do it mine." He spun and walked to the chalkboard.

"Here is a list of things that a girl might like, are you taking notes?" He queried looking back over his shoulder. Sirius had half a mind to leave, just for the heck of it.

"I don't have to, my memory's good enough." Sirius said leaning back in his chair but willingly acting like a model student.

"You could owl her a letter beforehand asking her on the date that way, or make it a simple love letter." Remus explained writing fluidly on the board, truthfully he enjoyed writing on the board even if it wasn't entirely necessary. "Or you could buy her flowers, chocolates, some form of jewelry, or the like."

"But that's so muggle!" Sirius exclaimed stretching his arms and rolling his head around to ease the muscles in his neck as well.

"Sometimes simple is better Sirius, especially if you are trying to attract a more . . . traditional girl." Remus did not want to say old-fashioned; it didn't sit well with him.

"Go on." Sirius commanded smiling slowly at the way Remus was writing all over the board, it reminded him of a little kid drawing squiggles on the wall. He remembered when he had done that exact thing at his own house and his mother had nearly hexed his hand off . . . it wasn't a very good memory upon reflection.

"And another thing you must not set off dungbombs in school just so you can get a girl alone with you in the classroom." Sirius blinked, how did Remus get to that topic all of a sudden? "Understand?" Remus turned and dusted the chalk off his fingertips on his khaki pants.

Sirius just nodded and kept his mouth shut.

~S~

"Are you ready for lesson two?" Sirius said in all seriousness. "I think you've got the basics but we're going to have to take it up a notch since you're such a novice."

"What exactly do you mean?"

"I'm more of a show than a tell kind of guy." Sirius said mysteriously as he advanced on Remus and pushed him down on the nearest bed, which happened to belong to James.

"I figure I'll show you some tricks and then you can practice on me."

"Padfoot I don't like where this is going." Remus said getting nervous, hot, and more than a little embarrassed.

"Trust me, once you learn this the girls will be begging you never to leave them."

Sirius reached down and softly stroked Remus's hair then delicately tucked wisps behind his ear, "women like to know that they are treasured, so don't be afraid to touch them even in little ways like this," Sirius nearly whispered. "In fact you should try not to show fear in the bedroom, because more often than not, it makes them nervous."

"Okay." Remus replied doing his best not to show Sirius how freaked out he was at that very moment.

"Can you guys move it elsewhere, some of us would like to sleep in a clean bed thanks." James said slamming the door behind him with his foot. He eyed his two friends very suspiciously.

Sirius rolled off a petrified Remus, who was frozen in place.

"What brings you here Prongs?" Sirius asked completely calm.

"Slughorn let me out of detention early, did I miss anything?" He turned giving Remus a bemused expression.

"Uh-um now look James, Sirius was just-"

"About to show you the best time of your life." Sirius said laughing and jumping back on top of Remus,

"Get off Padfoot, I mean it let go of me!"

"Nope!" Sirius trilled hugging him.

"Padfoot I'm warning you-"

"This is the only way to get Prongs off our tails." He hissed in his ear.

Remus let out a forced laugh and hugged Sirius back wantonly.

"Oh Padfoot, I cannot live without you!" he said breathlessly. James laughed then held up his hands.

"All right you guys you've had your fun, now could you please get off my bed?" They both jumped obediently away and bounded out the door. James smiled after them,

"Bloody idiots."

~R~

"How many times do I have to tell you Padfoot, it's called being a gentleman. You should be fine with planning things in advance, you're the one who told me that they like to feel 'treasured' so why can't you organize a single nice outing?"

"There's just so much involved, a movie or dinner or both or somewhere else entirely, usually it's so much easier. Broom closet? Okay."

"That's sad, that really is."

"Fine I yield." Sirius mussed his hair as if he were getting a headache. "I would send her a letter informing her of where we are going to meet, of course I would have talked to her in advance about what types of things she likes or locations that she is interested in."

"Much better." Remus beamed.

Sirius smiled wide and became even more enthusiastic after garnering Remus's positive reaction. "Well take you for instance, I would take you out to Hogsmeade so that we could go to Honeydukes and the Three Broomsticks. With James . . . maybe I'd buy us tickets to a big Qudditch match he would love that! And Peter . . . hmmm . . . I think I'd take him to the Hogshead, he's a really funny drunk."

"All right Padfoot that's enough for today, but I would advise you not to get your date drunk, it's uncouth."

"Yes sir." Sirius said happily.

~S~R~S~

Remus found himself tangled in Sirius's sheets the next morning. Somehow they had ended up engaging in sexual actions more than once! He couldn't just write it off then. He looked down at Sirius who had his hair in his face and was snoring gently. How could he have let this happen? What had they been thinking?

Sirius woke up to the feeling of being watched, he could almost always sense when someone was watching him. He slowly opened his eyes to face his friend/lover. He had a dark feeling in the pit of his stomach, something close to dread.

"Moony, are you angry?" He asked, all form of bravery vanishing in an instant.

"No." Remus said slowly, "I just don't know what to do." He looked lost.

"If it's upsetting you, we can pretend it never happened-"

"Is that what you want?" Remus asked hurt.

"I just want you to be happy and okay." Sirius murmured.

"A real gentleman at last." Remus smiled, but his heart wasn't in it.

"Forgive me?" Sirius pleaded.

"It's not your fault, it's both of ours, now we have to figure out how to move on from here."

"Remus I think it's obvious where this is going." He took his hand and kissed his fingers. They stared into each others eyes without speaking.

~J~

"So, did you plan this Padfoot?" James asked gesturing to how Remus was never too far from where Sirius was. At the moment he was skipping rocks across the lake with Peter, but every once in a while he would glance over at Sirius and they shared ridiculous smiles.

"Believe it or not James it just sort of happened."

"I'm so glad you guys figured it out so I didn't have to say anything."

"What!"

"Come on Padfoot, you've been mooning over him for years, you were just too busy trying to find your mate in the wrong sort."

"That really would have been helpful ages ago."

"Anytime Pads, anytime." He slapped him on the shoulder and went to join Peter and Remus.

~S~

Sirius Black knew a lot of things. He knew how to get out of lengthy detentions with Professor McGonagall; he knew how to get Rosemerta to give them all drinks on the house. He also had the best blackmail on James Potter and once offered to sell it to Lily for fifty galleons, which she very nearly accepted. However, there were some things that Sirius did not know and he was just about to give in and simply ask Lily, when Remus appeared.