Chapter 2
"Is this a joke?"
Jimmy felt like shit.
Correction, he felt like he was shit.
That Wednesday morning greeted him with a stabbing pain in his sides that reminded him of the time a kid from two schools back pulled a knife on him. Nice kid. Good technique. Bad hospital visit.
Jimmy groaned and lifted himself out of bed, the pain shooting upwards and sending him back down with a thunk. It was about this point did he register the jack-hammer like headache he had. Now with a new pain in his back and head, he considered calling in sick that day.
The morning alarm sounded and he groaned in pain when the PA system felt like a gang monkeys crushing his skull.
"Students should know that attendance of today's health classes are strictly mandatory. Any excuses shall not be tolerated." Miss Danvers' voice filtered out from the intercom, gaining similar annoyed groans from the other dorm rooms.
Jimmy gave a defeated smile and stared down at his bare feet. He couldn't call in sick because he'd have to act like he got cancer just to skip a class. And he couldn't play truant since he felt like he was being split lengthways.
He slipped into a pair of dark khakis and shoes. Maybe he could bum an aspirin off Beatrice.
/X\
It just so happened to everyone's horror that Dr Slawter was first on their schedule of teachers.
The biology room was already covered in detailed diagrams of human (and not-so-human) bodies, making the demented science teacher's lesson that more disturbing.
"Now children, can you tell which disease does the infectious mononucleosis most commonly occur in?"
Jimmy put his head on the desk, groaning as the cool surface did little to calm the pain in his head. Turned out Beatrice didn't have an aspirin on her that day since she was too busy taking notes. At least she said they were notes, honestly they looked more like vanilla versions of Earnest's "special comics". But he didn't any anything. He just wanted the aching to stop.
"Stupid Beatrice and her stupid notes." He mumbled under his breath.
"What was that Hopkins?" Dr Slawter asked with a smug grin on his face. He seemed to be delighted that his students all looked seconds away from being physically ill. "Did you say something?"
"Esper Bar something." He answered through the metal, feeing Petey pat his back sympathetically.
"Hmm. Close. It's the Epstein-Barr virus. A dear member of the herpes family. It is the most common cause of infectious mononucleosis or the "kissing virus" as you all insist on calling it." The scientist turned back to the board and began writing off various symptoms and times. "Now can anyone tell me how long it takes for these specific symptoms to occur?"
Jimmy groaned quieter this time. Petey's hand was now a near constant presence on his shoulder. After a few minutes, Petey whispered into his ear. "Don't worry Jimmy. Just be glad he isn't showing us a video this time."
The lights went dim and a small television set was wheeled in.
"Oh god." Was his only response. He simply joined his friend face down in the desk and mumbled. "Just keep your head down and it will be all over soon."
The other boy bumped him in the side playfully. "You jinxed it."
Petey replied by lightly bumping him back. "I know and I deserve it."
/X\
After an hour of watching a taped documentary on the evils of sexual intercourse (which Jimmy could identify as being made during the eighties – no shock there), the bell mercifully rang, letting the students leave the classroom on shaky legs.
The lab emptied in less than a minute, causing Dr Slawter to stroll up and down his class happily. Trying to find any passed-out stragglers or textbooks forgotten in the mass exodus.
He came to a stop when he found a distinct red smear on one of the stools.
Now he wasn't a stranger to blood, not at all, but this blood was dark and fresh. Wiping a disinfectant wipe across it, he confirmed that it was ahem expelled less than a minute ago, perhaps at a constant rate throughout the lesson.
He shrugged and tossed the wipe in the medical waste bin. He decided that it was none of his business. He had to teach the freshmen next after all.
/X\
Jimmy didn't feel like eating lunch that day. But he also felt like wolfing down anything not cooked by Edna in sight. So now he could add his stomach to the list of body parts not cooperating with him today.
His stomach gurgled in an odd way as Petey soon joined him, carrying what appeared to be a small stack of home-made sandwiches. The sight was almost funny to him. Honestly how wholesome do you have to be to make sandwiches in the boy's dorm just so you could give them to people at lunch time?
He accepted the simple ham sandwich and ate it all in little under a bite.
"Hungry Jimmy?" Petey asked, passing him a chocolate milk. For some reason chocolate seemed like the best possible thing right now. After gaining a nod he commented. "I'm surprised. Usually Dr Slawter's video puts people off food for a week."
"Everything hurts like hell Pete." Jimmy admitted, poking a hole in the milk carton. "Think I have the flu."
"Probably just nauseous from the video. Don't worry, Mrs Peabody's class is always mild since all she does is show us outdated PSAs from the fifties."
That did sound entertaining. "Nah Pete. It started this morning. Like a weird stabbing pain in my sides and back." He emphasised by trying to straighten his back, receiving a similar pain in response. "It's getting unbearable."
His friend paused and looked at him with concerned eyes. "Do you think you need to go to the nurse's office? It could be serious."
Jimmy waved him off, drinking the last dregs of his milk. "She'd just send me back and say I was faking to get out of class. I'll go afterwards." He looked down at Petey's side of the table and pointed to the stack of sandwiches. "You going to eat that?"
Petey just shrugged and passed him another.
/X\
It seemed that Petey's assumption was right.
Mrs Peabody was an old and prudish spinster. Jimmy was convinced that she'd never seen a dick in her life let alone have the knowledge on how it works. She started her lesson by announcing loudly to the class.
"Sex is a filthy, degrading act that none of you should commit unless you are married and are doing it the way God intended." She said sourly as she scanned the room, her gaze lingering on the girls. Easy seeing how she separated the class based on gender. The boy were packed like sardines against the windowless half of the classroom.
She continued in a mock cheery tone. "Now for today's lesson we shall watch some very informative features on the subject. Please take notes as the film plays and I shall compare them when it is finished."
She went to the back of the room and retrieved a heavy film projector, obviously borrowed from Mr Galloway's room. She picked up a dusty roll of film the size of a plate and placed it in the system. As the ancient machine whirled to life, Mrs Peabody made a beeline for the door.
"I have other business I need to attend to. Please stay in your seats and retrain from talking."
The lights were dimmed yet again and the class were for once glad for it. Now they could move around as they so pleased all of them were more interested in gossip than the screen. After all they had all seen it at least three times in the past.
Jimmy choose to stay static in his stool in the second to last row, barely paying attention to the clearly home-cut film being shown on the white screen. Heck to call it a film would be a stretch. It was as Petey had said. A good three hours worth of 1950s dating and courtship PSAs and industrial shorts, all cut together in a big bland marathon. Did Peabody make this just so she could skimp on doing sex ed?
Jimmy couldn't blame her. Giving the same birds and the bees talk for decades must get tiring at some point. At least now he could relax and maybe catch some shut eye...
"Jimmy, are you okay?" Petey's voice broke him from falling asleep, seemingly muffled by something. Then again that could have been the short on fine grooming and hygiene that was playing or the heckling the other kids were doing to the film.
"M'fine Pete." He replied in an annoyed tone, his eyes completely shut. By now, all noise sounded like it was being heard through a tunnel and even Petey's sweet calming voice sounded like the devil singing acapella. "Just tired."
"You sure Jimmy? You look like you can barely sit up-"
"I'm fine Petey. I don't need-" He opened his eyes and instantly regretted it. Even with the lights off, he could tell that the room was spinning. Even his friend's face seemed to distort and melt before him. Sensing that their was no good outcome to this he said a loud. "Fuck."
Derby Harrington noticed this outburst and tore himself from mocking the flick to turn around and ask. "What's the matter Hopkins? Disturbed by basic hygiene?"
Tad Spencer quickly joined in. "It's a foreign subject to him, it no wonder..." He suddenly stopped, his gaze firmly looking downwards at Jimmy's crotch region.
After a second of silence Jimmy felt himself go a bit red and barked. "The fuck are you looking at Tad? It's beautiful and all, but ogle the goods in your own spare time."
The prep continued staring downwards, non-fazed by his words. He then pointed a finger downwards and said with the utmost calm. "Hopkins, you are bleeding."
"What?"
"That thing that normal people do when you hit them hard enough." He replied slowly in a condescending tone, gesturing to the wooden seat beneath him. "You did it through your pants."
Jimmy finally looked downwards, shocked to find that Tad hadn't been lying and there was in fact a sizeable stain of red on his seat and a much larger one soaking through his dark khaki pants.
He was about to scream or maybe say that he'd sat on something from Dr Slawter's class, but it was by this point that he registered that he was now staring up at the ceiling with his head and back hurting as they did that morning.
Through Petey's panicked cries for a prefect, he could hear the other students become wise to the situation and crowd around him, all freaking out in their own way.
"Oh god Jimmy, what's happened to you?" Beatrice cried, finally abandoning her beloved notes.
"Get back you ruffians! The pauper needs air!" Gord shouted at the crowd, accidentally knocking over the now vacant stained stool.
"Who did this? Come out and show yourself!" He heard multiple Greasers say, all convinced that he'd been shot or something similar.
"Russell go get someone! Hang tight little buddy!" The giant of a teen announced, sprinting out the door with a small brigade of bullies following behind him.
By now everything went hazy, the image of his friends' faces barely illuminated by the black and white film was melting together, leaving him nauseous mess. He could barely hear anything from now, even the sound of someone pulling the fire alarm sounded no more distressing than a fly buzzing around his head.
At some point a jock had slapped a cold pack onto his head and the girls had let out a loud collective gasp when they got close enough to see the red stains. He only really started focusing again when he heard Trent Northwick's voice coming from outside the classroom.
"He's in there!" The bully explained anxiously to a pair of unseen figures. "He just fell and there's blood and-"
"Calm down mister Northwick. Nurse McRae will take it from here."
Jimmy tried to groan as he recognised the voice of the principal. Crabblesnitch strode in moments later, flicking on the lights as he entered. His brisk pace paused when he saw the scene in front of him.
He stood slack-jawed as Nurse McRae and a student carefully lifted Jimmy onto an impromptu gurney. He could only muster. "Hopkins... how on earth did this happen?"
Jimmy didn't respond. By this point he had completely blacked out.
/X\
He awoke after what felt to be an hour of sleep, feeling particularly numb in areas that had previously given him grief. He could feel that his pants were missing and that he had a cotton-like pad uncomfortably shoved into his underwear.
Wrenching his eyes open, he immediately closed them again as the bright ceiling lamp blinded him. Through his blindness, he could pick up bits of a conversation taking place inside the nurse's office, just behind a hospital curtain.
"Dr Crabblesnitch I implore you to expel that child!" Mrs Peabody shouted, apparently flailing a large file of paper in front of the principal. "This cannot go unaddressed!"
"Mrs Peabody, I can't expel a student just because there's a mistake on their medical records." The man argued, sounding like he had been repeating this for a long while.
Nurse McRae could be heard uncapping pill bottles and pouring them into a container. "Mistake nothing! That boy is full on bleeding from you-know-where. And I don't mean what you have Doctor."
Jimmy's heart sank, unable to voice his distress due to the medication numbing his dry mouth. "Oh god I'm dying. All that fighting messed up my insides and now I'm dying."
Crabblesnitch's voice softened and he asked. "How didn't we notice sooner? Didn't the mother say anything?"
"Oh god it's cancer isn't it?" He continued to internally panic.
"Never had to check his files before. Give him an energy drink and a nap and he was back out the door." The older woman explained, now counting out said pills. "I certainly didn't expect this to happen. His mother doesn't seem to be particularly interested."
"I can't die. I never even had an actual birthday celebration or a party." His mind rambled, trying to keep his mind off of morbid things. "Who's gonna beat Fatty at ConSumo now?"
"Disgusting. You'd think a child would have just accepted it and went on with their life!" Mrs Peabody continued to argue loudly, ripping the curtain back to point at the supposedly unconscious teen. "This is what stepping out of line does you know! Hopkins didn't follow the plan set for them and now they're reaping the consequences."
"AHH!" Jimmy silently screamed, his fear of a fighting related condition now confirmed.
"Flora, please leave."
The room was silent for a moment and soon only the distant sounds of the air con rattling and students walking around the halls could be heard.
Mrs Peabody finally asked. "What?"
Dr Crabblesnitch repeated the phrase, now much more stern. "Please leave the office. Mr Hopkins is not under your tutelage and thus you have no right to be here. Please, return to teaching your class and stop bothering us."
Jimmy would be lying if he didn't think Crabblesnitch sounded a bit badass right there. Then again that might have been the painkillers talking.
The teacher huffed and turned to walk out the door. Before she left she dropped a bombshell.
"Hopkins should be. Seeing how the medical records say that she is a girl."
Jimmy's concerns were immediately quelled and then reignited like a bonfire doused in gasoline. How in the hell did they find that record? He only ever willingly stepped into a hospital twice in his life. Once when he was stabbed by a psycho two schools back, and his own birth. He freaking forged his certificate for the last four years, the only way they could have known if maybe...
Mom told them.
Oh well it was nice knowing you Bullworth.
"SHIT! FUCK! GOD FUCKING FUCK! DAMMIT!"
Dr Crabblesnitch and Nurse McRae immediately turned to face him with surprised looks on their faces. Apparently he had regained control of his throat and mouth.
Jimmy felt like melting into the bed and said nervously. "Sorry. No filter."
The principal coughed awkwardly and moved to sit on the plastic chair next to the bed. He looked down at his hands solemnly, waiting for something to say. After a minute of relative silence (the nurse was busy putting together a medication diary), Crabblesnitch finally commented. "So... Jaime Hopkins?"
The teen's painkiller dulled senses replied by slowly punching the man in the forearm, a look of pure hate on his face. "DON'T called me that."
"All right, James then." The older man seemed fairly uncomfortable but pressed forward. "Why did you lie on your application form? Do you enjoy being lumped with the boys?"
"I AM a boy." Jimmy stated slowly, hoping that the man wouldn't ask any further questions. "All ways have been."
"Boys don't typically menstruate."
Jimmy paused for a moment and then slapped himself in the forehead. At least that explained the dizziness and sharp pains. Out of all things that could have happened to him this year, and his first ever period had to be one of them. Mom always said that he was a late bloomer but he had hoped that meant like never.
"Guys don't typically have to explain why they're guys." He retorted, gaining a deep sigh from the man.
"I suppose not." Crabblesnitch said, getting up from his chair and looking over his student, all stocky and not at all feminine. The very image of a brawler or a thug. "Well then. I believe that means that our dear nurse here will start you on schedule of pain suppressants. I hope to see you back in school soon Mr Hopkins."
Jimmy's eyes widened, realising that the old fart hadn't said that ironically or as a joke. He wasn't really sure how to explain what he was feeling. Something between happiness and a "I told you so" type feeling.
He lifted himself off the bed and asked playfully. "Don't suppose this means I can go into the Girl's dorm when ever I want?"
"Nice try young man." Crabblesnitch replied, heading for the door. Before he left he emphasised. "Boys aren't allowed in the Girl's quarters."
When he left, Jimmy fell back onto the bed and gave a rare smile. "Ah. Sweet sweet validation."
Now all he had to do was explain to everyone why he spontaneously bled out in class.
Notes: Whoa big bombshell! I hope you saw this coming. Anyone who expected a sex-ed funny fic you are in for a lot more. I did warn you about a certain headcanon now did I? Trans!Jimmy is a good Jimmy. Please leave a review and have a nice day! :D