Bloody Holiday
Chapter Two: I Know
Baby, give me a sign, give me a reason, make up your mind
"I can't believe you're still with that bitch, you know she is the Yoko to your Lennon," Josh spitted harshly at Drake, keeping a steady hold of Drake's forearm. Josh had an expression other than hate on his face, I thought maybe denial but I'm still not sure. After seven years of seeing the same distaste, a look of disgust, I was taken aback to see anything but. Josh leaned in closer to Drake. I detected desperation.
"How many times do I need to tell you man, I'm not leaving her," Drake pulled away, pacing in front of what had been Josh's bed. My heart lurched, pounding out of my chest. "Not now, anyways."
Hot tears flushed to my face. Not now? How long had Drake been thinking about leaving me? My thoughts traveled to outside of me. The kids, I thought, would grow up in a broken home. I should've walked away, but my curiosity got the best of me. I locked the door to Megan's old room and curled up in the bed. I thought, somehow, this would make me safe. Nothing could penetrate my heart.
It must have started when my mind was elsewhere. Josh was kissing Drake, his brother, my husband. A lump in my throat formed along with a desire to scream. I gagged at the bitter taste of bile creeping steadily into my mouth. I wanted to turn away; I should've turned away. I didn't. I watched as Drake pulled away, a look of surprise on his face.
"Dude, not cool, my wife and kids are in the living room! Not to mention Mom, Dad and Megan," Drake warned Josh sternly. I was disappointed, however, by the lack of anger in his voice.
"Drake, I can't do this anymore. I'm going loony without you," Josh put his hands around Drake's waist. His filthy, pudgy hands.
I imagined breaking down the door, screaming. I wanted to smack what I could only suspect to be Josh's "seductive" look right off his fat little face. I hated him, more than I had ever hated anyone before. My hate soon became directed at Drake as well. How could he let Josh nuzzle up close to him? To touch him? Those looking in who didn't know any better would have thought they were a couple. Josh took Drake's hand and Drake accepted this gesture. I thought right there I would die on Megan's bed. Audrey and Walter would have to remove my body while my kids were still playing with their new Christmas presents.
Drake and Josh were now together on the bed. I chose then to try to remember anything I could've done to avoid discovering their relationship this way. Drake had never given me any sort of indication that he was also of the same-sex persuasion. We had met at a party. At the time, I had been casually seeing their heir to some major department store. He wasn't much of a conversationalist, but I hung out with him because it was good press. He got me into some of the coolest parties, a great feat because I was only 19 at the time. He got the club owners to look the other way when I would drink a martini or snort a line. Then there was Drake. He, like everyone else in young Hollywood, went to clubs in hopes of being seen with the right people. His album was going to be released in a few months; he needed all the publicity he could get.
The moment our eyes had locked I knew I would marry him someday. He walked over to my table so suavely; I had completely forgotten department store heir was even with me.
"Hi," he whispered in my in ear. His breath sent tingles down my spine. "My name is Drake Parker and you are way too beautiful not to know me."
That night I left the party with Drake. The next week we were moving in together. The tabloids had a field day. Their All-American girl had gone head first into this relationship with notorious flirt and rocker, Drake Parker. Rumors flew. All of America seemed to know I was pregnant even before I did. Immediately my drinking stopped and so did the drugs. Drake was there for me through every withdrawal, through every pain. It wasn't long before we were married. I couldn't think of a time I had ever questioned his love for me. We were soul mates.
I moved my attention back to the television screen. They were still on the bed, their foreheads pressed together like lovers do. Drake looked so serene, like he was in pure bliss. It was an expression I recognized, the look he had on his face every time we were about to make love. That expression belonged to me. My heart fluttered, then broke. Josh kissed Drake again, but this time Drake didn't pull away.