AN: First of all, I wanna thank everyone who sent me kind words of encouragement for the first 'Episode'. I too hope I can sustain this and not screw it up.
Special Note:
I wanna shout out to the authors whose work spurred me on the most. First, PeterHalsey's 'JAG - Before The Rose Garden' for probably being the inspiration for my own take of JAG adventures. Thank you.
Episode 2:
Jinx
1400 ZULU
HIGH ABOVE LEESBURG
Lieutenant j.g. Bud Roberts let out an uproarious yell as he felt the yellow Stearman spiral into another complicated roll. He had no idea that Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr. owned this amazing piece of retro technology all this time.
He had never understood the joys of aviation fully - 'was flying at Mach 2+ really all it was cut out to be?', but if it was anything like what they were experiencing now, Bud began to appreciate why aviators loved being crazy when they were up in the air, and were as morose as they were when they were grounded.
To Bud, it was as if he was in the best computer game ever, times a thousand. Another roar of enjoyment ripped from his lips.
"Enjoying yourself, Bud?"
Bud heard Harm's voice come over the headset and fumbled for his radio link. "Yes sir."
"It's Harm when we're not in uniform."
"Yes sir."
Harm smiled at the younger man's unbridled happiness. He didn't have the heart to tell the young lieutenant that he wasn't supposed to be the passenger today. Harm had hoped to impress someone entirely different.
But she was busy with her new job at JAG and Bud had overheard his invitation to the Marine Major. To spare any embarrassment or potential scandal, Harm had opened up the invitation to Bud. The excitement on the young lieutenant's face made it clear that Harm had to make it happen sooner than later... in the hopes that the next time he went up, it would be with the striking brunette Harm had originally planned this for.
RING RING
RING RING
Harm heard the incessant cry of a cellphone and saw Bud pull his out from a pocket. Harm was glad that the Stearman came from a time before avionics even existed, or this hobby flight might have ended as an ugly smear across the countryside. He leveled out the biplane so that the young lieutenant could listen better to whoever was on the phone.
"Yes ma'am. Yes, I'll tell the Commander, ma'am. See you soon ma'am."
When the young lieutenant hung up, Harm asked, "What is it Bud?"
"That was Major MacKenzie, sir. We have a case. An air crash, sir."
Harm stiffened at that and quickly turned his plane back to the air field.
oxoxoxo
On the ground, Harm rushed through his post flight check on the bright yellow Stearman. He spotted a familiar old mechanic in the nearby hangar and waved him over.
"Joe," Harm greeted the old man who, after Harm, was probably the foremost expert on this particular aircraft. "I've been called in to work. I wish I could, but could you complete her post-flight instead?"
"Sure thing, Harm. Any problems up there?"
"Nope, handles like a charm. As always."
Joe looked past Harm and saw Bud exit from the bathroom, already in his khaki uniform. "Not your usual type of passenger."
"Long story."
Joe laughed, "I'm sure. Maybe next time you'll get to bring her instead."
Harm flashed his winning smile at the thought and the old man's encouragement. Harm ran to the pilots' room and quickly changed into his own uniform. When he raced out, he saw Bud admiring the Stearman that was probably Harm's most precious possession. Bud fell in step with Harm as they made their way back to his car.
"It's a beautiful plane, sir."
"Yeah, she is."
"She?"
"It's a pilot thing. We name them after someone we love."
"Oh. What's her name, sir?"
"Sarah."
"Like Major MacKenzie, sir?"
Harm paused at that, surprised by the coincidence. "Yeah. But it's not named for her."
"Oh." Bud said as he got in Harm's red Corvette and strapped in.
It was several minutes before Bud dared to ask the question that was bothering him.
"Sir, do you think Major MacKenzie looks... familiar?"
Harm gripped the steering wheel of his car a little tighter. He had forgotten that Bud knew the woman she uncannily resembled, had served with her temporarily, and had discovered her dead body. Unprepared to face it, he lied. "No."
"You don't, sir?"
A spark ignited the wellspring of frustrated rage within him. It was small, but it was potent. His voice took on a diamond hard edge - sharp enough to cut, sharp enough to reopen wounds he had strove to keep buried. "You served with her on the Seahawk, didn't you?" It was more a statement than a question.
"Major MacKenzie? No sir, she wasn't on the Seahawk."
"Not the Major." Harm turned to the chubby lieutenant in the bucket seat beside him, his voice low and dangerous, "Her."
Bud noticed the edge in the Commander's voice, "Lieutenant Schonke, sir?"
"Yes."
The grudging acknowledgment was not lost on Bud. The fact that his superior didn't mention the dead lieutenant by name was not lost on him either. "I'm sorry for your loss, sir."
"Yeah." Harm answered, unsure if he could trust himself to say anything more without reliving Diane's death.
The subject of Lt. Diane Schonke was still a sore point with him. Harm hadn't revealed it to anyone but most nights he sat in his dark unfinished apartment, and instead of installing the lights he needed, picked up his guitar and mooned over pictures of him and Diane together. He had always known she was beautiful, but he never knew just how beautiful she truly was until she was taken from him.
Bud could see the tensing of the Commander's jaw. Though Diane had never revealed who she loved directly to anyone, all he ever heard from her was about the remarkable Harmon Rabb Jr.
It helped that Bud had assisted Harm in a previous investigation. After witnessing how he landed a Tomcat on a carrier, at night, from the RIO seat, saving himself and the injured pilot Captain Tom Boone, Bud knew that Diane hadn't exaggerated. Much.
"I miss her too, sir."
Harm smiled at that, perhaps because suddenly he wasn't alone in his hurt, "She had a way about her, Bud. Her smile lit up the room, and she made it seem like you were the only one meant to receive it."
"In your case, sir, I think it was."
A calming relief filled Harm, extinguishing the burning sensation he felt deep in his chest. Remembering how she was when she was alive eased his pain and made his heart feel lighter.
Until Bud's next question.
"Does the Major know she looks like Diane?"
The question sliced like a sword. He tensed up tighter than before and bit out his response, "No."
"Just that I sometimes see you stare at her -"
"That's enough, lieutenant."
"I'm sorry, sir."
Shaking his emotions clear, Harm realized he was driving the car a little harder than it was wise to on these icy roads. He slowed down.
"Bud, don't... don't tell the Major."
"Yes sir."
"I mean it."
"Me too sir." Bud hoped the Commander believed him, for he truly did mean to keep his promise.
"Bud."
"Yes sir?"
Harm hoped his memories of Diane would fade by the time he got back to JAG HQ. Before he lost himself and did something stupid with her twin in the Marine uniform.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome sir."
oxoxoxo
NEXT DAY
1716 ZULU
NAVAL MEDICAL CENTER
SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA
"Tess would have been the first female member of the Blue Angels. And I got her killed."
Harm looked at the pitiful shell of a man lying in the hospital bed. This was Lt. Peter Ayers, Lt. Tess McKee's RIO on the ill-fated flight that cost her her life. Not that Harm didn't understand his survivor's guilt, but it was never a pretty thing to witness a grown man's slow unraveling.
Compounding Ayers' mental distress was how the pilot had died saving his six and he didn't even have the decency to have scars that would last beyond his hospital stay. Harm recognized all the thoughts that ran through the Lieutenant's head, he'd been there before - He should have died. He should have suffered. He should be permanently disabled. He should not be okay.
As Harm tried to find the words to proceed, Mac asked the obvious question while wondering why her partner was so quiet. "How did you get her killed?"
"She flew with me. I'm telling you, it's the jinx."
Over the next hour Lieutenant Ayers filled them in on 'The Jinx'. How after Tess, he was the last surviving member of eight in the Howler squad. The other seven had all died in a series of freak crashes and accidents.
Ayers went on to explain how they had accidentally destroyed a mosque in the Gulf War, and now karma or Allah was striking back. They all had to pay, and by God, how they were going to pay.
oxoxoxo
Back at Miramar, Mac closed the door of the temporary office space they were assigned. Mac looked at her two male colleagues, particularly at her handsome JAG partner who stood apart, quieter than she had ever known him to be.
"He seems pretty convinced he's a jinx." Mac said quietly to fill the air.
"He sounds pretty convincing, ma'am." Bud agreed.
But Harm just stood there in silence, hands on his hips in an aggressive posture and Mac knew something was wrong. Mac prompted him, "Harm?"
He looked up at her, suppressing a surprising rage though his voice betrayed he wasn't entirely successful. "Mac, as much as I hate to admit it, accidents happen all the time. These aren't toy planes."
"Still, seven of eight Howlers dead? That's a pretty big stat to brush off as coincidence."
"What are you implying, Mac?" he asked, his voice was calm but it lacked its usual charm, it's usual sparkle that was now similarly absent from his eyes. This was Harmon Rabb Jr. close to his worst.
"Bud, could you get us some coffee?" Mac asked, not taking her eyes off her partner.
Bud looked up from the maintenance file he was leafing through, "Oh, yes ma'am. What would you like ma'am?"
"Surprise me."
"Yes ma'am. And you Commander?"
"Just go, Bud." Mac said, still not taking her eyes off Harm who averted his gaze to fall on the personnel files. He shuffled through them without really reading any.
When Bud had left the room, Mac asked her partner, "Harm, what's wrong?"
Harm felt the fight in him desert for a moment. "Luke Pendry."
"Who?"
"He was one of the Howler pilots killed last year." He pushed Luke's file towards her. "He was testing a new guidance system when it malfunctioned. And made him crash."
Mac sensed there was more and gave him space to reveal it. He didn't disappoint. "We were at the Academy together, went to flight school together. He was my roommate. And one of my best friends."
Mac's breath caught in her throat. Her mouth hung open as it tried to formulate a response. If she had known, if anyone had known how close he was to this case...
Harm added, "He has a kid, a son. Don't remember how old he is, but..."
Mac had read enough in Harm's personnel file to know that this was not just about the crashes, or his friend. She waited for him to continue.
But he didn't, his icy cool exterior returned and masked the rest of his emotions. "Lt. Ayers has no idea what happened, and what he's telling us is pure fiction."
"Have you considered the possibility he's right?"
"Not you too, Mac."
"No, show me evidence Harm. On one side we have the astronomical odds of chance."
"That's circumstantial at best."
"Three instances is circumstantial. Seven? That's a pattern. Why are these accidents happening only to the Howlers, Harm?"
"Are you talking sabotage?"
"It fits."
"There's no evidence of it, Mac. The planes are clean. The crew is clean."
"Then what else, Harm? What else is there?"
"It's not a jinx."
"Why not?"
When he didn't respond, she closed in, getting in his face, "Why not Harm? Why couldn't it be a jinx?"
"Because Luke died serving his country. It was an accident. He didn't leave a widow and a son behind because of some goddamn curse!"
Mac didn't back away. His icy rage had turned into an inferno and it made his eyes spark with fire. She'd never seen this before. She had seen the pain, that was almost familiar, but not the hot coals of rage threatening to turn everything - including his career - to ash.
"Harm, you're too close to this case."
"Are you kicking me off?"
"No, but you're not objective. Your job is to investigate -"
"Don't tell me what my job is, Mac. I know my damn job!"
"Then do it!"
"Fine!" He had to leave. He had to leave before he did something he regretted. He moved past her to the door and threw it open.
"Harm, wait!" she called out after him but he was way past listening to her.
oxoxoxo
1913 ZULU
NAVY HOUSING
SAN DIEGO
He hadn't planned on coming here, but obviously his subconscious had taken over sometime after he left Miramar. He pulled the car up to the curb near a familiar house.
Out in front of it, a young boy played roller hockey by himself. His arm was in a cast and was probably why he wasn't at the game with his team and was stuck practicing at home instead.
One look at the boy's young visage and there was no mistaking it, this was Lucas Pendry's kid.
"Hi Josh."
"Harm!" The young boy rushed over and hugged the tall JAG lawyer, before grilling him about everything and anything Navy and flying. The boy even consented to showing off some of his hockey moves - which went a long way explaining why one arm was already in a cast.
Ruffling the 9-year-old's hair, Harm asked, "Where's your mom?"
It was a question that immediately stilled the excited youth. "In the house."
"Mind if I go in and talk with her?"
Josh shrugged, immediately disinterested in the matter as he returned to his hockey one-on-none drill. Harm would recognize that shrug anywhere. Josh cared for his mom, but couldn't stand her right now. It was the same shrug Harm had when he was Josh's age.
oxoxoxo
The house was neat, organized and dreary. Harm noticed the bare walls immediately - picture hooks, but no pictures.
"Annie?" Harm called out to the emptiness and saw her poke her head out of the kitchen.
"Harm?" Annie Pendry pulled off the old apron and quickly moved to embrace him. She hugged him strongly, if briefly. She smiled but Harm noticed that the past year hadn't been kind to her. Worry lines pulled at her face and her auburn hair drooped limply. A large part of her beauty had paled.
"How are you? What are you doing here?" Annie asked as she pushed him into one of the ugly chairs that decorated the living room.
"I just... came to visit you. And Josh."
"So, you flew all the way out here to check on us?" Annie asked skeptically, even as she nervously smoothed out the fabric of her clothes to make herself more presentable.
"Not exactly." Harm admitted as he smiled ruefully.
"Oh, where are my manners, what would you like to drink?"
"Nothing, Annie. I just..."
She noticed his demeanor, his sadness. "What is it, Harm?"
"I'm investigating Tess McKee's crash."
He saw the horror swell in her eyes. No, not horror. Memories. Even a year after Luke's fatal crash she hadn't been able to forget. Harm reached out a hand to take hers.
"Annie, I'm not here to ask questions. I just really needed to see you."
She pulled her fingers away from his, knuckling them on her thighs. Sensing her rejection Harm looked away, looked up at the bare walls. "I see you've taken down all the pictures."
Still she said nothing.
"How does Josh feel about it?"
"What would you know about Josh's feelings?!" Annie's anger flashed in an instant, a mother who would do anything for her son.
"Luke was his father."
"You don't think I know that?! You don't know how every time I see him, I see his father. You don't know how every time one of those damn jets flies by the house I catch him looking up, dreaming of being a pilot!"
Tears welled up but she held them in check by sheer force of will.
"Locking up pictures of his father isn't going to change who he wants to be."
"He's nine. Right now he imagines he's Wayne Gretzky!"
"He won't be nine forever. One day he'll be driven to obsession to know who his father was, and why his father was who he was."
"He's not you, Harm. He knows what happened to his father!"
That opened up a deep wound and Annie's horrified gasp proved she knew it. So did her quick apology, "I'm so sorry, Harm."
"It's okay." Harm lied.
Her voice came as almost a whisper, "I'm moving to Baltimore. There's a position there..."
"Is that what you want?"
"I... I need to."
Harm understood. He didn't have to agree with it, but he understood.
"It's hard, Harm. Here... this was his life. He was my life."
"You're not alone, Annie. And Baltimore's not that far from D.C."
"No, Harm, I need to do this. Alone. At least for a while."
"And Josh?"
"I'm doing it for him too."
Harm knew those words. His mom had used them twenty five years ago, when she decided to sell their house and move. He remembered how he begged her, fought her, even ran away from home to change her mind.
'If we move, how will dad find us?'
It wasn't a question she could answer, so she didn't. Not when he returned home a few hours later. Not even when he apologized for running away. Not even when he did everything he could to make her stop crying.
So Harm gave up asking his mother and realized he would have to find his own answers.
Harm looked at Annie and saw his youth replayed, just with a different set of characters. Her nerves were frayed but he had to warn her, "Annie, Josh might not understand."
"He will."
"Will he?"
Harm knew it was an unfair question, but he knew that Annie doubted her own words. She finally broke, tears falling far too fast and far too easily. "I'm a terrible mother."
"You're not, Annie. You're just dealing with a lot right now." Harm sat down beside her on the couch and held her as she cried. It was a long time before he felt her tears abate.
When she was cried out, Harm continued holding her. She sniffled, but the first tugs of a smile returned as he wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"Thanks, Harm. Guess I really needed that."
Harm smiled, shy at witnessing her weakness, shy that she let him see it. Annie stood up and moved to look out the window. Satisfied that Josh was still playing safely outside, she turned back to Harm. When a good memory came to the fore.
"Oh, how's Diane?"
His eyes widened.
oxoxoxo
As he drove back to Miramar, Harm replayed the conversation with Annie. Which led him to a replay of the night they had first met.
It was a rainy night when a young Luke Pendry and Harmon Rabb Jr. stumbled out of the diner on their way back to Annapolis. They had another 15 minutes before curfew and well, the night was still young.
When they spotted Annie. Her luscious auburn hair was matted flat against her head as she struggled to change the tire which fought her every inch of the way. She had a figure that wouldn't quit, one that normally wouldn't have been revealed if her baggy clothes hadn't been plastered right against her skin by the rain.
The two young Midshipmen jumped to her rescue, Harm worked the tire iron as Luke helped with the tire. By the time Harm tightened the last lug nut, he realized he was too late, Luke had already made his move on Annie, taking her into the warm diner where they spent the next 90 minutes talking and laughing about everything under the sun.
Not that Harm minded being out after curfew that night, since when he and Luke were almost busted for sneaking back into the Academy, he met Diane.
oxoxoxo
"Oh, how's Diane?"
She surprised him with that question, and when he felt his expression start to betray him, he moved quickly to mask the painful truth. Mindful not to speak in past tense, he thought of Mac.
"She's beautiful. As ever."
Annie's eyebrows travelled half way up her forehead.
"What?" Harm asked, unsure at her expression.
"So what are you going to do about it?"
"What do I do about...?" Harm's confusion deepened.
She sat down and this time took his hand in hers to provide comfort. "Tell her you love her before she gets away again."
"What?"
"Harm, everyone knows how much you love her. You have been ever since the day you met. When you two broke up, well, Luke planned to intervene, even if it meant strapping you to the fuselage of his jet and flying you halfway across the globe to see her."
She looked away shyly, concentrating on patting his hand, "I guess he sometimes felt guilty that he landed me, while you couldn't seem to reel her in."
Harm hated lying to her, but she was finally having a good memory of Luke. That was going to help her and Josh. It was a lie, 'but maybe happiness was only just that, the lies we tell to make ourselves feel better.' Harm thought.
"Just bad timing I guess." Harm said, his mouth flicking into a smile so fast it was gone by the time it landed. "I've got to go."
"It's nice to see you Harm."
"It's nice to see you too, Annie."
They hugged, each drawing strength from the other for all they had lost in the past year.
oxoxoxo
NEXT DAY
0330 ZULU
AL QAZNAH MOSQUE
Harm and Mac rushed past the offended Muslims who cast very pointed glances their way. The fact they dared to enter without ablution, without proper cleansing of their hands and feet, faces and necks to rid themselves of earthly grime and sin before setting foot inside this sacred chamber was a far egregious offense than their mere uninvited intrusion during prayer time.
Mac wished her partner's stride wasn't so long, she could barely keep up with him and it was hardly becoming of her to start running to catch up. She had informed Harm of Lt. Ayers decision to turn in his wings when he was asked to fly the missing man formation in Lt. Tess McKee's funeral tomorrow.
Harm reached Bud and Lt. Ayers first and though their discussion was animated, their words were barely discernible over the distance. Mac neared and only heard Bud's words - "I wouldn't want to fly either."
Ayers bolted but Harm was right there with him, and as they went deeper into the mosque to argue, Mac turned to Bud. He filled her in on all she had missed.
Bud had followed Ayers to the mosque, as per her instructions to keep an eye on him as she went to get Harm. Bud in the interim had worked out that of the seven Howler crashes since the Gulf War, six of them happened on Islamic holy days.
It was obvious that Ayers had formed a similar conclusion as his decision to turn in his wings was entirely due to the fact that Lt. McKee's funeral tomorrow was on another holy day.
Mac strained to hear Harm and caught the tail end of his words to Ayers, "It's up to you to put an end to this or it will destroy the Howlers."
"No one will fly with me." Ayers cried plaintively, and it was true. He had tried with another female pilot and after just one sortie, she had chosen to be grounded rather than fly again with the unlucky RIO. His reputation preceded him now, and no one at Miramar, hell, probably on the entire West Coast wanted to fly with him.
"I'll do it."
Mac's eyes bulged at Harm's offer. She wanted to protest, but she knew that he would just override her and do it anyway.
oxoxoxo
0530 ZULU
FRIENDLY SKIES MOTEL
SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA
Fresh from her shower, Mac quickly toweled herself dry and changed, pulling on jeans before rooting through her bag for the sweater she usually kept there.
Three minutes later she was dressed in a deep green sweater and knocking on Harm's room door. It took him 14 seconds to answer it and when he threw it open, it was obvious he had just stepped out of the shower himself, because he was still trying to pull on an undershirt over his bare chest.
"Mac?"
"May I come in?" she asked, her eyes slowly sliding from his muscular torso downwards to the hem of his shorts. Seeing the shorts ride low on his hips revealing the bare hip bones underneath, Mac's heart almost stopped. He was not wearing anything under those shorts!
"Sure." he answered still not putting on the undershirt.
Her eyes darted back up to Harm's face, the beginnings of a blush starting to form. She walked past him, hoping he wouldn't notice and kept her back turned towards him as he finally had the sense to pull his undershirt on.
"You decent?"
Harm laughed at her comment, "Since when were the Marines skittish about nudity?"
Mac peeked over her shoulder before turning around when it was confirmed he was mostly dressed, "Well, squid nudity aside, I came to talk..."
"What about?" Harm asked as he started toweling his still damp hair.
"What are you doing?" Mac asked.
"Toweling my hair?"
"I meant with Lieutenant Ayers."
"Nothing."
"Flying with him is nothing?"
"Yeah." he replied, not catching the increasing incredulity she was expressing through her tone.
"So seven dead pilots is nothing too?"
Harm paused at that, "Mac..."
"Harm, you're willing to risk your life to keep Ayers in the Howlers?"
"I'm not risking my life for Ayers."
"No? Then what is it? Because you seem to believe he has a future flying when no one, not even him believes so. What is it Harm?"
"If Ayers washes out, we're never going to solve this case."
"Is that all that matters to you?"
"The truth is all that matters, Mac! That's why we were sent here to investigate." he glared at her, "If that's not why you're here, then maybe you should go back to D.C. and ask for another partner."
Mac shook her head at him, "Maybe I should. At least he won't try and get himself killed every week."
"Mac..."
She stormed past him but he grabbed hold of her wrist to stop her. Instead of pulling away, she stepped up to him, going toe-to-toe with him. Her tone was low, angry, dangerous. "Let go!" she said in no uncertain terms, her eyes ablaze with hellfire. He did.
"Commander, what you do with your life is your business. But don't expect me to stand back and watch you throw your life away on a half baked plan."
She threw open his door and stormed out. Harm stood there in silence, staring at his still open door, his anger slowly rising to the top. He stormed out and followed her to her room.
Mac was barely in her room when there was a loud knock at her door. She pulled it open and was filled with the sight of his chest, heaving and breathing heavily. His hands were on either side of her door frame, and his impressive height and form filled her doorway.
She tilted her head upwards to catch his gaze. His blue eyes had darkened into a shade of gray - like gunmetal.
"We're not finished, Marine." he said, his tone letting her know he was indeed far from finished.
"Well, I say we are, Commander. I'm not about to get personal about this case, and I sure as hell ain't gonna get personal with you."
"Mac, you know how important this case is to me."
"Every case is important Harm. It shouldn't be more important just because you're personally involved."
"Like how important it was to save your uncle?"
She almost slugged him right there. But she didn't. "Low blow, Commander."
He knew it and he instantly regretted it. "I'm sorry, Mac. I don't expect you to understand, but if the Howlers don't fly tomorrow, it'll just prove that we're afraid of things we can't explain. That it's okay for any pilot or RIO who believes in superstition to turn tail and run. That's the message we'll take away from this."
"I think you're overreacting." she said, her tone softening as well.
"Am I? The next time somebody feels a squadron is jinxed, don't you think they'll bring up the Howlers? And wouldn't us allowing things to stand as is mean that we're endorsing that view? That we believe they're jinxed too?"
"And what if they are Harm?"
He stared into her expressive eyes, her concern for his safety suddenly very apparent.
"Hey, they haven't made a plane that can kill me yet." he said with his flyboy smile - a little cocky but almost self deprecatingly so.
"That doesn't mean you should keep tempting fate."
"Mac."
"Harm. Just be safe up there."
Her words struck a chord and suddenly Harm was somewhere else. Somewhere in the past.
oxoxoxo
COMMISSIONING WEEK 1985
1400 ZULU
UNITED STATES NAVAL ACADEMY
ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND
Harm made his way past the hearty handshakes and backslaps as he crossed the courtyard. After four years that were both the longest and shortest in his life, he had finally graduated, and finally ready to pursue his dreams of flying.
It was a time of celebration and for everyone else it was. Harm saw how Lucas Pendry was being congratulated by his mom and Annie on his arm, both women planting kisses on his cheek among tears and smiles all round.
A few feet to Luke's left was the USNA's ultimate ladies man - Jack Keeter, or 'Geezer' as Harm & Luke called him. It was an ironic nickname due to Jack's baby faced features which made him maddeningly popular with the ladies. Currently, Jack was busy being embarrassed by his father, Mike who engulfed his son in a massive bear hug and twirled him around amid loud belly laughs.
Harm snuck past other very excited graduates and caught sight of another friend, Peter Ulysses 'Sturgis' Turner. He was with his parents, his father, Navy Chaplain Samuel Turner and his wife Nancy. They were both so proud of their son and had no problem letting him know. It drew a wry smile to Harm's lips that the normally stoic Sturgis was himself looking on the verge of tears.
Ducking into an almost deserted corridor, Harm was largely ignored by everyone he passed. The sight of his friends celebrating with their families had warmed his heart, but it didn't take away the sting that...
He had graduated and his mother hadn't come to commissioning week at all.
Not that he didn't understand. After all, joining the Naval Academy had been against her wishes. She and Frank, her second husband, had put together a massive college fund for him. He could have gone to Harvard medical and not graduate for a decade and they'd still be able to afford it. That he persisted in enrolling in Annapolis, like his real father before him, had driven a wedge between them, a wedge that at times threatened to break them apart.
Harm leaned against a wall, suddenly not having the strength to walk without shedding tears first. He was prepared for his mom to not be there but for her to actually not show up...
Grandma Sarah would have come but she broke her leg the week prior and Harm forced her to promise not to travel. At 65 it was highly impractical that she rush up for commissioning week with no one to care for her and he didn't want her to worsen because of his selfish, stupid desire to have family here.
"Hey, sailor."
Her voice was everything he needed right now. He blinked away the tears and looked at her face.
"Hey, beautiful." he said with a fake smile before leaning down to claim her lips.
Diane Schonke had seen Harm walk away from the celebration in the courtyard and after excusing herself from her parents, followed him. She was worried because of the way his face fell when he saw that the seats reserved for his family had remained empty, as they did all week. He was alone and the only one among his friends who was.
She had come to console him, to share her parents with him, even for a little while, even though after today they might not even share the same time zone. They had talked briefly about their future before today, had agreed to keep in touch, had agreed to find a way to each other when they could.
But nothing permanent.
As she felt him kiss her with all the need and want in his tall, handsome being, she knew that a part of her would always belong to him. That was all the permanence she needed.
When the kiss ended, he smiled again and this time it was the genuine, million megawatt smile he had used to make her fall in love with him. She never felt so alive as when she saw his smile, because she knew she had put it there. That in all this world, she had a part in creating something so beautiful.
"Feeling better?" she asked and he nodded.
"I am now." and he leaned in to kiss her again but she moved out of his grasp.
"Not now, Rabbit." she teased and Harm blushed at her nickname for him. She had started using it after he had proven he couldn't get enough of her in bed. "My parents are waiting for me, and I wouldn't mind if you came along to meet them."
"Wouldn't that send them the wrong message?" he asked, suddenly concerned to meet any of her family. After all they had decided to concentrate on their naval careers first.
"We're still friends, Harm, and I can tell them that. Besides they'll be very happy to adopt you once you tell them you're here alone."
She took his hand and pulled him with her. He didn't fight it, her hand in his was possibly the first thing in his life that ever felt like it belonged there. Looking at how she could brighten his darkest hours so easily, Harm knew then and there he loved her.
He loved her, but he wouldn't say it now. Not if he was going to be an aviator, he wouldn't do that to her. He wouldn't risk putting her through what his mom had gone through.
True to her word, her family made him an honorary Schonke for the day, and while Diane repeatedly introduced him as her friend, there was no hiding the fact that the family knew how thin that excuse really was. It also didn't help that they had been caught holding hands more than once, though both of her parents were polite enough to pretend they hadn't noticed.
By the end of the day, Diane didn't even bother to hide who he was from her parents anymore. She asked for some time with him and once they were alone she turned in his arms, linked her hands behind his neck and pulled him down for a kiss.
"So aviation." she said after awhile.
"So cryptography." he mimicked back, referring to her chosen field. "Only you would choose to be a spy."
"Hey, it's code breaking, not running around like James Bond." she smiled. "Though being a Bond girl doesn't sound half bad. The travel, the clothes..."
"The endless string of girls he finds in every city."
"Like you're not going to leave a string of broken hearts wherever your ship docks, sailor."
"Like you won't do the same wherever you decide to go."
Realization they weren't going to be together anymore made her tears spill freely. He ran his thumb over her cheeks to brush them away. "Diane."
"I'll miss you, Harm. I... promise me you'll at least try to write."
"Send me an address and I'll learn how to." he said with a smile. She leaned in this time to claim his lips in a bittersweet kiss.
It was goodbye and a promise of forever all rolled into one, and it ended much too soon. Looking up at him with the hint of tears making her eyes sparkle, she asked one last thing of him.
"Harm. Be safe up there."
oxoxoxo
Harm leaned over Mac, the dim light from the corridor danced in the dark pools of her beautiful brown eyes. For a brief instance, he saw her as who she looked like, not who she really was. In that instance, she was the love of his life, the one who kissed him with the promise of forever. He leaned in to renew that promise...
"Sir? Ma'am?" Bud Roberts' voice cut through Harm's fog making him spin around so quickly he almost knocked Mac over.
"Bud?" Harm saw the young Lieutenant standing there with a worried look on his face.
"I'm sorry sir, ma'am, but I heard both of you fighting, so..."
Harm didn't remember them fighting, until Mac spoke, "Sorry about that, Bud. We were just disagreeing about something."
"Oh. I didn't mean to overhear ma'am, but it was quite loud."
Harm peered over his shoulder at Mac who was showing him an unhappy chagrined expression. "Yeah, I think we've settled that for now, right Commander?"
Harm nodded. "Yeah. Sorry about that Bud. We're done."
"That's good sir. I would hate to see you two fight..." at their questioning gaze, Bud decided that the less he said, the better he'd be. He quickly wished them goodnight and retreated to his room.
Harm turned back to Mac. "Well, I better call it a night as well, Mac. Tomorrow's a long day and I've got a funeral to attend."
"Just make sure it's not yours, flyboy." Mac said as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"Sure thing, Marine." he replied before going back to his room. Mac continued staring at his door after he closed it.
"Damn you, Harm." she said before closing her own door.
oxoxoxo
NEXT DAY
1920 ZULU
EL TORO MEDICAL CENTER
As the blinding light flashed in front of his eyes, Harm flinched. But soon his eyes adjusted and he could make out shapes, and make them out quite sharply.
"How many fingers, Commander?"
"Three." And he decided to show off, "Scout's honor." in reference to the way the doctor held his three fingers up.
The doctor smiled as Harm passed with flying colors. Harm looked at the doctor, a man in his late 40s who under his doctor's coat sported Marine green. "How long do I have to stay, doc?"
"The stitches are healing quite nicely, there's no sign of a concussion, you should be clear to fly out of here tonight." before the Marine doctor realized who his patient was, "But not supersonic."
"Well, what's the fun in that?" Harm gave him his patented grin, which at least worked on the blonde nurse that assisted the doctor.
"You have a couple of visitors, I'll send them in."
Harm recalled all that had happened just the day before. It was Lt. McKee's funeral and Harm volunteered to fly for the Howlers with Lt. Ayers, to pull off the missing man formation.
It went off without a hitch. Until refueling.
Harm still remembered how the refueling basket hit and broke the Plexiglas canopy. The wound partially blinded him, and there was no way he could land the plane. But he also remembered how it had come dangerously close to blinding him forever, and that was when he knew there was no jinx.
That was why he knew Lt. Ayers would be able to guide them down, even as the RIO kept screaming his head off insisting to eject. Harm had to keep him in the cockpit, had to land this bird. Had to prove there was no jinx.
As he was still alive, Harm believed it worked.
Harm didn't have to wait long to see who his two visitors were.
"Hi sir, how are you feeling?"
"Hey Bud, I'm good." Harm smiled as he shook the young lieutenant's hand. "Been better, though."
Turning back to the door he saw her standing there with her cover in her hand, concern making her almost twist the little cloth hat irreparably.
"Hey, Mac."
She looked away but before she did, he caught the relieved smile on her lips. When her head came back up however, she was immediately the squared away Marine he had come to expect and respect.
"Commander, what you did in risking your life unnecessarily..."
"Mac, come on, it was a missing man fly-by. What was I going to do, not let the Howlers fly it?"
"There were alternatives, Commander. There are always alternatives."
"But not as good resolutions, Mac. If I remember right, Lieutenant Ayers is staying with the Howlers, the Howlers are not jinxed, and everybody lived to talk about it."
"You could have been killed!" Mac tried to make her voice stone cold serious and hoped he didn't notice the tiny quiver in it. He was so smug, so damn arrogant and it pissed her off that she felt any concern for him when he obviously cared little for putting everyone else through hell.
Harm felt his blood boil. Did she really think so little of his abilities as an aviator? Would she rather have seen this squadron... Luke's squadron, fall apart? Harm kept a lid on his anger but still let it fuel his response. "Well, sorry for disappointing you, Major."
Seeing them argue was painful, so Bud stepped in to ease the tension, "I think what the Major is trying to say sir, is she's glad you're still alive."
Mac gave them both a death glare. Harm didn't take his eyes from her but lightened his tone, in much to diffuse the situation as to regain control, "Let's hope she still feels that way tomorrow, Bud."
Next Episode: Heroes (2x04)