Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts and related characters belong to Square Enix and Tetsuya Nomura. Reviews would be appreciated. Contains hints of Namiku, Sokai, Haylette, Rokushi, Vanqua, Terqua, and Venfuu. Slightly AU.

Longing For Yesterday

Chapter 2: Breathing

I was still breathing, wasn't I?

Wasn't that something I should be grateful for?

In any other circumstance I would've been, but that was before I realized that despite the fact I was around Sora again, I was still unprotected.

Slowly I found myself easing into a content state in this unfamiliar place. Class work was easy for me, yet being surrounded by other students wasn't. I wasn't used to being around so many people, nor was I used to the stares I continued to receive even after being at the school for a couple of days.

I had arrived on the weekend, and Monday was the first day of official classes. In three out of the seven courses I was required to take, I found myself having to endure them without the company of a familiar face. I didn't have anyone to talk to, nor did I have anyone to watch out for me.

I should've been used to this by now, but within a school environment I wasn't, and that terrified me.

In the first of these three classes I did however encounter one of the beings I never wanted to see ever again. Her cold green eyes were laughing, always laughing cruelly. I ached to disappear, to become invisible to escape from her malevolent and terrifying gaze.

Larxene's torment began yet again.

It was after class. The moment the bell rang, I tried to make my escape, to run to the dining hall or library to hide from the other blond, but before I could grasp freedom her tight grasp snatched my backpack. I was jerked backwards, the pleated white with yellow and light blue plaid skirt of my school uniform fluttering around my legs as I stumbled. My chest felt tight and I was barely breathing.

"Naminé…" she sang my name in my ear, her tone falsely sweet. "Where are you going, Naminé?"

"L-Lunch," I choked out, my fear breaking my voice.

Her hands gripped my shoulders, her sharp nails pressing into my fair skin through the short sleeves of my thin cotton blouse. The sound of my loafers hitting the floor in timid steps rang throughout the almost empty classroom as Larxene forced me to walk toward her roommate, Fuu. We came to a stop, but she didn't release me.

"Now, now, Naminé, you wouldn't want to make us think you hate us, now do you?" Larxene sneered in my ear.

My fingers grasped the hem of my light blue sweatervest, a bead of sweat slipping down my cheek and landing on the yellow trim of my collar, becoming a dark spot. I felt as if my yellow necktie was going to suffocate me as I gulped, looking up and into Fuu's visible crimson orb. She stared back at me stoically, no expression etched on her face at all.

With one hand still holding my shoulder in an unbreakable grasp, I whimpered softly as Larxene's other hand stroked the back of my head. I waited for the abuse, either physical or verbal. I knew it would come soon.

"W-What d-do you want?" I finally choked out.

I felt her hand grab a handful of my hair sharply, forcing me to release a cry of pain. Larxene yanked me back, jerking me so I was pressed against her chest and she was looking down at me. My legs were shaking, threatening to give out as I arched my back, trying desperately not to move.

"Here's the deal," Larxene's voice was sharp, commanding. "You're going to be doing our homework assignments for this class. All of them. And if any of the answers are wrong…" she trailed off, allowing my imagination to fill in the blank of the threat.

I whimpered again, unable to defend myself. What could I do? My powers were only good whenever I drew, and I certainly couldn't pull out my sketchbook. I had no other choice but to be manipulated into submission by my tormentor.

Larxene only found joy in tormenting others. It had been the same back at Castle Oblivion. She used me again and again, finding a sick satisfaction over the power she held over me. She made me do things I could never truly repent for, especially to Sora and to poor Riku.

Riku…

There it was again. That strange sensation of longing. He was the one I needed forgiveness from. I knew he still hadn't forgiven me for what I had done to Sora. I had my choices, I could've fought back and refused, but I had been selfish.

I had craved a friend. I had craved acceptance, trust, and to have the love of a friend. I had sinned and I still needed to repent for those sins.

"I think we won't have to worry, Fuu." Larxene grinned at her roommate, who gave a silent nod.

I gasped as she threw me forward in release, my legs giving out and I landed on the cold floor, hunched over as I fought against the tears prickling the corners of my eyes. Larxene unzipped my bag and slipped in the two packets of theirs for me to complete on top of my own homework. I didn't dare look up until I heard them leave the room, and even then the only thing I could do was pull myself upright, my legs angled out as I hugged myself tightly.

I started to cry.

Who could blame me? I knew I would be ridiculed as a social outcast, but I had never expected to walk straight back into the hell that Larxene brought with her very presence. Now I was being forced to do her work for her and if I didn't…

I sobbed even harder as my imagination ran wild, thinking of all the horrible things that Larxene was capable of doing to me if I retaliated.

My sobs were loud, but I couldn't stifle them. I finally just cried into hands, my fists rubbing my eyes as I sniffed, trying to stop the snot from running from my nose and down my face. My throat was burning and hurt with every gasp of air I took, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop crying.

I just wanted to leave.

I was such a fool for coming here. I should've continued wandering the worlds. I should've never had gotten my hopes up that I could finally find acceptance here, with Sora and the others.

At first I didn't hear the footsteps, at least not until they were incredibly close. The feeling that someone was close by consumed me, and I finally looked up, blinking rapidly in an attempt to clear my blurred vision. The first thing I saw were teal orbs, practically glowing in a blend of blue and green. Very slowly, he brought his hand up to lightly touch the side of my head.

"Who did this to you?" Riku whispered.

My sobs made me unable to reply. I looked away from him. He was the last person I wanted to see me like this.

If Sora or Roxas had found me like this, they would've just hugged me and made me laugh by doing something random and quirky. If Kairi or Olette had found me they would tell me I looked like a mess and then cleaned me up, maybe even tried to give me a makeover while they were at it.

Yet it had to be Riku to find me. The one whose opinion of me mattered the most. I still didn't understand why I felt such a connection to him.

Perhaps it was because I was a ghost of his best friend and his first love.

That had to be it. Both Sora and Kairi loved Riku. He was their best friend.

How else could I explain the connection I had to him, the care and the longing need I had that wanted to give him anything and everything?

I shouldn't exist, but I was still breathing. I didn't have a heart, but I still had feelings. I didn't have a soul, but I still had my humanity.

I truly was a freak.

"Naminé…"

His warm voice wrapped around my name. I gasped as suddenly I was pressed face-first against his chest. His arms were wrapped around me, his face buried into the crown of my head, and I could hear the rhythmic beating of his heart.

B-bmp…b-bmp…b-bmp…

I wondered what my heart would sound like if I had one.

"You don't have to always be alone," Riku muttered against my hair. "Just learn to speak up and call for help. Geez."

I blinked, shocked to hear these words.

Did I dare hope that I could gain his forgiveness?

Did I dare allow myself to believe Riku actually cared about me?

"R-Riku…"

My hands slipped around his torso, interlocking and pressing against his back as I hid myself from the world in his arms.

Letting go was the last thing I wanted.

A/N: Much thanks to those who reviewed! Please keep doing so! 3-5 Reviews before I update.

-xWhitexWindx

Musical Inspiration: Breathing - Yellowcard