(Disclaimer: I don' own NOTHIN'!!! 'Cept for my made-up characters! Invader Zim and all that jazz belongs to Jhonen Vasquez. D'OH!!!)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: BTW, if anyone noticed that mention to the unfinished script of "Squishy, Hugger of Worlds", last chapter, then GOOD for YOU!!! *Claps*
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CHAPTER 2 "'WHY ME!?!' Yet again."
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Last time I forgot to describe myself. Hah hah, I even made the mistake of not mentioning my name until my Tatronian shouted it! I guess it's just because I'm so upset about it!
Anyways, let's see, now...where to begin? As an Irken, I have the bright green skin of a smeet, with yellow-green eyes. I have normal antenna, and no other strange, distinguishing features. Does that describe enough? I've already mentioned my height. But now, as a human, I have a completely different appearance. I have a brown-colored skin, although it seems everybody here calls it "black" for some strange reason. They also call the creamy-peachish-colored ones "white". I guess it's because they look so different. Humans all seem to come in different colors of brown. Anyways, my eyes are still yellow-green, but they have white around them, and black in the centers. My antenna are no longer there; they've been replaced by hair. It's sort-of reddish-brown and it's short and wiry. It really looks like a great big mess in my opinion.
As for the time, you all may be wondering...
Irken days are longer than Earth days, so an Irken day would be equivalent to 3 1/4 Earth days. That's just the day hours. The night-time is about the same length. So this means that I go to "Skool" for 3 Earth days, then on the fourth day I wait six hours until I turn into an Irken again, then I begin my Irken studies. 3 More Earth days, then on the fourth, I finish my Irken studies for six more hours until I become human again. Since I can't go to skool at noon, I get a whole day off! Of course, that just means that I have to stay inside and work on as much of my Irken studies that I can.
*Sighs* You know, it's times like this I wonder if actually coming here was such a good idea in the first place... Maybe I should've just let them cut my arm off! That might have helped...at least, I think it would have...
After studying a few subjects -which I found incredibly hilarious and simple- it was time for a recess. This was alright, although I wondered when we would get to eat our snacks. Usually we got snacks during our breaks on Irk, unless we'd been disobedient. We didn't need to eat anyways, so this wasn't that cruel a punishment.
I made my way outside to the playground with the other students. Apparently, they didn't get that much physical education. Otherwise they wouldn't be so energetic and eager to play. Of course, I was feeling rather depressed. This was my first day in my terrible purgatory.
Sighing, I sat down on a bench and stared at my hands in my lap. They were really beginning to bug me, as were the extra fingers. I hated the idea of having to stay here for any length of time...
Just as I was relaxing and contemplating my hideous fate, a few kids came up to me. "Hey! New Kid! What's your name again?" Asked one of them, supposedly the lead kid.
I sighed and replied, looking up reluctantly, "Jik."
"Oh, yeah. Where are you from?"
I thought for a moment, trying to remember the story my Tatronian and the scientists had cooked up, while keeping my head turned away to avoid eye-contact. I couldn't let them know I was lying! "I'm-I'm from...J-Jamaica, and my father was in the Military, so we moved..."
"Oh, I get it! That's why you're so uptight, isn't it?"
I thought, 'Am I really that uptight?' and answered, "Urhm!...I guess..."
"Hey! Why don't you have an accent?" Asked another kid.
"W-what? Urm, well, ahm..." I was caught off-guard.
"J00 IDIOT! If his dad's in the Military, then he's probably moved around a lot! He didn't have time to pick up an accent! Am I right?" Another kid answered for me. Gratefully I nodded in agreement. "There! You see?" The kid grinned proudly at his deduction-skills.
"So, where's your dad stationed at?" Asked the lead kid.
Having rehearsed this story over again in my mind, I easily replied, "Well, my dad, uh...he died, and so my Tatr-er, I mean! My aunt and her family are raising me..."
There was a small moment of silence while I wondered why they looked so quiet suddenly. Was I saying something wrong? One of the kids finally spoke up, "Uh...geeze, that's too bad...Sorry, man." The others offered their condolences as well.
"Uhm...yeah..." was all I could think of to say.
"A-Anyways, you wanna' hang out? I mean, you know..." a kid suddenly spoke up nervously.
"Hey, yeah! I mean, you probably don't know anybody here, right? I'm Mik!" Said another kid, and offered his hand to me. Looking at him with a slight incredulity at hearing that, I decided I should probably stand up, and did so, shaking his hand.
"Alright! Yeah, and I'm Luke," the kids introduced themeselves to me, one by one. There were actually about 5 in all (I say "about" because they tend to also associate with other kids, so I'm not quite sure) and they seemed friendly enough. I was thankful they'd taken the initiative to talk to me, otherwise I might have been seen as an outcast! But, despite this, I still didn't know much about the Earthlings' society, so I tried to listen and learn from these guys as much as I could, while staying quiet. It wasn't that easy to be an Invader, apparently... If this was what Invaders had to go through, then I'm glad I'm not majoring in that subject! I'm actually majoring in politics, economics, war strategy, and other subjects which would be important to a future Tallest. At the very least, even if I'm NOT tall enough, I'll still be able to get a decent, high-ranking offical's job or something!
After our introductions, we only hung around and talked about strange stuff -things I really couldn't recognize, but I tried to nervously smile and nod as if I knew what everyone was talking about. Afterwards, the bell rang and we went back inside. And, although I can't say that I really understood anything which the kids were talking about, it felt a little good to be in a group. I guess humans are as social a creatures as Irkens are.
Although I never really talked to her, there was a glaring, blue-haired girl always off in a corner somewhere, who only seemed to talk to one other child. Both she and the other, big-headed child, Dib -I'd heard his name often enough in class by this time, usually the Teacher Drone yelling at him to sit down and shut up because he was ranting on and on about something- were labeled as "crazy" and apparently were outcasts. She wasn't anyone of interest, and she usually kept to herself, but her cold, glaring gaze of hatred and anger made me feel somewhat homesick.
Lunch was really an adventurous time for me -and by "adventurous", I mean, "so totally and absolutely TERRIFYING!!!" The stuff they served their children -for nourishment no less!- was absolutely appalling, and I was surprised I even managed to choke down the suff. It didn't look like many of them liked it either, so I was in good company. Although I'd heard that some of the food had disturbing properties... And that the mashed potatoes should never be allowed anywhere NEAR your eyes.
Bathroom breaks were, as I believe, the most HORRIFYING of the Earthling experience. And I am hard-pressed to relate any of my personal horrors, but let's just say that public toilets must be required experience for those training to become an Elite Soldier, because I personally can't think of anything more horrifying.
All-in-all, it was generally a really horrible day, and I was exceedingly grateful when it was finally over with and I was able to go home. At home I collapsed face-first onto my bed and I didn't even get up until someone summoned me to report back downstairs.
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The next day was somewhat uneventful -until school, that is. I got up and ate breakfast, then walked by myself to school without the company of my Tatronian -one that I was very sorely starting to miss. Apparently, as they'd researched it, it would be unusual for my Aunt -that is, my Tatronian- to accompany me to and from school without a really good reason. There was some nonsense about it being embarrassing or whatever. *Sigh* Anyways, as I was walking to school, I knew distinctly that the trained soldiers were secretly keeping an eye on me. I felt somewhat better knowing that, although I still felt strange walking alone without my Tatronian. You see, I have always been accompanied by my Tatronian -it's not for another few years that my Tatronian is no longer needed, and I still feel the need to have that strong, guiding -and somewhat violent at times- floating orb-bot by my side.
I was still incredibly depressed about having to do this, and this was only the second day! So it's no surprise that when I came into the classroom, I had my head hung down and so I didn't notice anyone as I made my way around to my desk. Sitting in the third row across from the door and the 6th seat back, I sat with my head hung down and with a sad, dejected look on my face. No one even made any comment about me. The class had 32 students, by the way. Four rows across and eight rows back. So I didn't notice the student who entered and sat down up at the front of the class. I was still too busy bemoaning my own predicament.
It wasn't until class had started when I just happed to look up. You see, one of the students had spoke up, and the blue-haired girl, -the one whose evil glares made me feel sort-of homesick- said something back at him. As I glanced up, it took me a minute to realize just what it was I was seeing. The Teacher Drone even said his name, but I didn't register it. I couldn't. I mean, it just couldn't BE! Because sitting just up there, and looking back at the blue-haired girl with annoyance, sat the one whom we had spent all this time and effort trying to AVOID! It was...just absolutely IMPOSSIBLE!!!
I felt the blood rush from my face and I sank down in my chair. I was caught without words, and I couldn't even bring myself to stutter. The Teacher Drone even noticed my disturbed expression, and he asked if I was alright. I can't even imagine how I must've looked to him, but I think I have a pretty good idea. Because after that brief moment of despair and abject shock, I pulled myself out of it, enough to respond to him, "No, sir! I-I, uhm..." suddenly I stood up and slapped my hands on my desk, "Could I please use the bathroom!?!" I exclaimed in desperation, and barely waiting for a reply, I rushed out of the room and into those dreaded depths which I so abhorred.
Stopping inside just long enough to catch my breath, I took a glance over into the mirror. And, not seeing the reflection I wanted, I squeezed my eyes shut and turned away, feeling the hot sting of tears come up. I was startled by the sound of the bathroom door opening behind me, and so I jumped into an open stall and very quickly, clumsily, I closed and locked it.
The footsteps stopped outside my stall, and I heard my little human heart beating hard inside my chest -even as I wanted to cry, and felt the hot tears streaming from my face, I heard the voice of the so-called crazy kid, Dib, calling to me.
"He~ey~! JIK! 'Come on, Jik, I know you're in there! Come on out and tell me what's got you hiding like a scared rabbit! It couldn't be the...ALIEN KID in the class, now, COULD IT!?!" The crazy kid exclaimed accusingly, as if he knew exactly what was going on. Unconsciously I pulled down my long shirt-sleeve over my "bracelet", and I fingered my communicator disgused as an Earth cell-phone.
Coming closer, he banged on the door to my stall, startling me so I jumped backwards. In my very last display of courage, I finally answered, "I-I'm- I'm really sorry! I'm not feeling well! I'm erm!...yeah."
He seemed to glare incredulously at me through the stall door, although I really couldn't see his stare. He said, "Oh, REALLY~?!? And just how is it you FEEL?!?" His sarcastic sting reached along the stalls and up into the corners of the room.
Clenching my eyes shut and trying not to sob, I did the only thing I could do. I pulled my pants down and sat on that horrble toilet. Although despite my misgivings, I really did have to go after that scare, and it was a long while until I felt I was able to face that disturbing monster behind the door. I knew he was still there, I could see his feet standing there the entire time. Eventually I flushed, and wiping the tears off my face, I opened the door.
Dib was standing so close there, his huge head right in my face, that I gasped and jumped. "Hmm~! Feeling BETTER now, are we?!?" He said with a smirk. I only squeaked and tried to ease past him. I finally made it to the sinks and washed my hands. For some reason I was at a temporary loss, but soon I remembered to use a towel to dry my wet hands off. Thank goodness I wasn't an Irken right now; otherwise I'd have to actually think up a good reason for not using the toilet or washing my hands! Although that big-headed, scary kid was a good one.
As I was turning away and attempting to leave, the big-headed kid instantly moved in front of me. Mik, he was lightning-swift! He glared at me and said, "HOLD ON! Now I don't know what you're up to, but you know it, don't you?" Trying to act innocent, I had a confused expression on my face. "That green kid! You know it! He's not just any ordinary kid! HE'S AN ALIEN!!!" Hearing these words directly in front of my face I almost wanted to pass out. Holding his arms out, he approached me and continued ranting on, "'Come on! I mean, I know it and Alli knows it, but everybody else, they just can't understand!" He gripped the air with his hands, "It's just the most OBVIOUS THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!! And yet my own people are IDIOTS!!!" As he continued on I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. "But YOU know it! And I'm just SURE that you'll help me in EXPOSING HIM FOR THE HORRIBLE LITTLE ALIEN MONSTER THAT HE IS!!!"
I was backing away a bit at this point, although I really had to agree with him -Zim was a REALLY HORRIBLE LITTLE IRKEN!!! But as I obviously couldn't tell him that, I slowly kept backing away and finally I said, "Uhm! Uhm, uh, sure...!" I sweatdropped. Had I really just agreed with him on this? But I couldn't let it continue on like this. At this rate, I'd be dragged into whatever little diabolical plans he had cooking, and I really had to get out of this so I could call my Tatronian and the others and tell them the terribly HORRIBLE news! "I-erm! I, I'm not feeling well, so I think I need to go to the doctor or something! Eh, eh heh~!"
Looking back at me with a look I couldn't read, I was afraid he was going to start ranting again -but, instead, he simply pouted and said, "Oh." I guessed that he assumed I didn't believe him, and I wanted it that way. Seeing that this was my chance to escape from the ranting, crazed ball of big-headedness, I eased around him and ran out the door.
I didn't return to class -I was too afraid of seeing that horrible little atrocity in Irk's clothing, Zim. So, instead, I hid outside in the playground. I sat there by the side of the reddish brick building and cried until I could think clearly once again. It was about time for me to call my Tatronian and superiors, and tell them what had happened. Wiping away my tears, I pulled out my "cell-phone". I noticed a glint of light, and I glanced at my wrist. My sleeve was slightly up, and the evil little destroyer of my world, the wrist-thingy, was shining in the sun. I pulled at my sleeve to get a look at it. Seeing it in the sunlight gave it a whole new look. Watching the afternoon light glance off it and bathe it in a yellow glow, I found it hard to resist just staring at, observing its design. It had a little magenta orb in the middle, which was very pretty as it reminded me of the nice, pink skies of my homeworld. Although I had never myself seen the above-ground world, and recently all I'd seen were the insides of the ships which I was transported on, I had seen pictures, and I was very impressed with it. I couldn't go above ground until I'd graduated, normally, so this was actually a divine opportunity for me to get to see it. It's just too bad I had to be transported so quickly and with such secrecy -otherwise I really could've gotten a glimpse out a window!
As I was admiring the little wristy-thingy and poking at it, I had absolutely no idea that someone else was watching me. I thought that Dib had abandoned me when I showed disbelief in his ranting theories; and I was right. But what I'd failed to observe was that there was another -the one Dib had mentioned- who wasn't allowed in the boys' bathroom and who'd followed me when I came out. This person was watching me the entire time, as I examined my wrist-thingy and watched the sun glance off its beautiful magenta orb. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to make that call to my Tatronian, because just as I was intently examining my wrist-thing, a certain someone jumped out of nowhere and said, "HEY!!!"
This caused me to jump myself and to fall over. Gasping, I looked up and saw, now standing over me, that very same outcast with blue hair, whose normally hate-filled and angry eyes made me long to see my old classmates again. Quickly scuttling and backing up, I didn't even get a chance to reply before she exclaimed, "WHAT'S THAT THING ON YOUR WRIST!?!" Appalled, I couldn't bring myself to ask, "What?!?" as she continued interrogating me. "YOU! That thing you've got on your wrist! Let me see!" She exclaimed, and then promptly pounced.
Screaming, I tried my best to fight her off, but she was just too strong for me. Actually, it reminded me of getting pinned by one of my classmates back on Irk. Eventually I laid, sobbing sadly at my miserable attempts at wrestling, face-down in the dirt as she held my wrist up to examine it. I wondered just where in the HFIL was my security team at this moment!?! Apparently they didn't think it was anything to be concerned about. On Irk, getting pinned by another student was just about commonplace. Okay, so it was commonplace. Practicing your grappling skills on your classmates was not considered unusual. I can even imagine just what they were thinking: 'Oh, will ya' look at that? It looks like he's found someone to grapple with!' 'Really? Ah, isn't that nice?' And so on and so forth.
After examining my wrist very closely, and picking and pulling on the thing to boot, she let it go and finally got off of me. Being used to this same scenario, I pulled myself up and wiped the tears from off my face. I really wanted a tissue right about now! Glaring right at me, I found it hard not to look at her accusing eyes as she asked, "Just where did you get that?" Not receiving an answer from poor old me, she continued, "Well!?! I wanna' know right now! WHERE'D YOU GET IT!?!" Still seeing me staring, saying nothing, she exclaimed, "GGGRRR!!!" and then pulled up her own sleeve from her left wrist. Glancing down at it, I felt myself gasp and almost gag at the sight.
On her wrist was a very similar-looking thingy. In fact, if it wasn't for the orb in the center being an entirely different color -that of blue- I would have sworn that it was EXACTLY the same. Staring dumbfoundedly at it, all I could do was gasp and gape. Staring at me and watching for my expression, she waited for a moment before she explained, "Y'see? Now I want you to tell me absolutely EVERYTHING you know, or I'M GOING TO TEAR YOUR ARM OFF!!!" After considering for a minute about whether or not I really wanted her to tear my obviously cursed arm off, I very slowly nodded and kept my head down.
"Good! Well, then, I'm WAITING!" She exclaimed yet again.
Very slowly considering my answers, I kept my head down and replied, "I-I really dont' know what it is about it, but I-I found it in a crater...it was in a meteorite...I'm! I'm really sorry, but I can't explain anymore."
She was glaring angrily again at me, but she seemed satisfied with my answer. "Hm! I see...And you noticed that you CHANGE at night, am I right?! Into something that's not really HUMAN???"
I almost laughed at this -she really actually thought that I was an Earthling! But I couldn't quite laugh. Also, I hadn't given her any information otherwise, and with this device, for all intents and purposes, I actually was human! Even still, the relief was almost enough to make me giddy with elation. Almost. I nodded nervously to her inquiry.
Then she did something which only served to unnerve me further -she grinned an evil little grin and a look on her face which can best be described as an evil scientist's brilliant plan being re-hatched after a fateful DENG!, and it made me shiver slightly and back away. "Are you pondering what I'M pondering...?" She asked, obviously taking full advantage of her creepiness. I seriously didn't think she was the type to do this, but then again, I had only just met her.
"Erm, uh...no..." I replied meekly.
Suddenly she grinned even further and her eyes sparkled; she even looked a little bit happy, "There's another person on this planet who's had the SAME thing happen! Then it CAN'T be just a coincidence! Don't you see?!?" Her eyes were glowing with sheer determination as she continued, "We can figure this out and get back to NORMAL!!! There must be SOME clue here! If we just work together, we can get these STUPID things OFF OUR WRISTS AND FINALLY BE ABLE TO SLEEP AT NIGHT!!!!!" I looked at her with some slight confusion at that last part, but her previous statements were accurate. If we could work together, then maybe the scientists could figure out- Oh, NO!!! If I told her about the scientists, then I'd have to reveal that I was an alien! Although, would that really be such a bad thing? She obviously could understand aliens, and she would probably be willing to help us -Oh! Wait a minute...
Just what sort of alien did she turn into???
Gathering my last bit of breath, I was about to ask what kind of alien she changed into -and possibly make a stupid mistake, now that I think back about it- when suddenly from behind her came the sound of someone clearing their throat, and then the large, looming figure of the Truant Officer.
"HEY!!!" He shouted just as loud as he possibly could; I presume he did this on purpose. "What are you kids doing out here?!" And still with the loud shouting! Mik, does he have a hearing problem or something?!
After shouting at us some more about staying in class and not skipping, and all sorts of other junk possibly pertaining to delinquency and drugs, although I'm not too sure, he roughly grabbed us both by the shoulders and "escorted" us back to class. He kicked open the door -for whatever reason I can't fathom- and threw us inside. We stumbled into the room and stood there in front of the class, feeling stupid. Then we -or, at least I- very quickly took my seat and tried to ignore the annoying laughs and jeers and confusing looks which I couldn't quite read, all the while feeling myself blushing. I'd never even been so humiliated after getting punished back in Irken school! Mik, I REALLY hated this planet!
Anyways, after I'd taken my seat and Alli was arguing with the Teacher Drone, our class resumed its regular routine, but I could've sworn that Alli was trying to tell Dib something! Regardless, I had managed to make it through the entirety of the day without arousing Zim's suspicions, even when I almost answered a question with an Irken historical name! Although I caught myself in the middle of it -it had 5 syllables- and corrected it. I think it was Aramajimak or something...
Finally, after what was an excruciatingly long time, the last bell of the school day rang and we were dismissed. Thank the Tallest! After I left class, I was making my way to the sidewalk. Just as I reached it and was starting my trek home, both Alli and Dib sniper-jumped me! And I mean JUMPED!!! I was taken so off-guard that I was knocked to the ground and laid there completely devoid of intelligent thought and reasoning. After I finally got my bearings, I looked up into the faces of both Alli and Dib, who stood over me, staring. Alli's face was one of an excited evil mad-scientist's, while Dib's was one of a very dark and disturbing victorious glee, one of which I really couldn't say I'd EVER seen before in my entire life! Just recognizing this expression was a feat within itself! But, despite that...
Dib and Alli pulled me up bodily, yanking me by my arms. After being righted and dusting myself off, they both began speaking to me. At almost exactly the same time! Although I couldn't concentrate on the both of them at once, what I'd gleaned from their combined rantings was something about following them and going to Alli's house and then Dib's house, and maybe even something about sharp objects...? I shivered, trying hard not to appear as though I was trying too hard to keep something from them. As they soon noticed my confused expression, they both stopped and then suddenly pulled me along, saying, "OH! JUST COME ON!!!"
Desperately trying to escape, I looked over to where I knew two of my security team was hiding, and I reached out a hand and mouthing, in Irken, "Help me!" My desperate pleaing, however, fell upon def ears, as my security team just smiled and waved at me, probably assuming that I was being amicably taken away to play. Especially as these two had just jumped on me!
I was dragged to a house, which my captors explained was Alli's, although, for some reason, her parents had disappeared when the meteorite hit. Huh. And an even bigger surprise was waiting for me inside the house.
"Okay," Alli stood before me in the living room. I was seated in the lone big chair. It was comfy, but I just couldn't feel so when I was being interrogated! Dib was on the couch, along with Alli's cat, who, although I didn't know any better at the time, seemed to know what was going on, yet didn't act like it concerned her so. Alli was standing in front of me and proceeded to pace as she asked me lots of questions. I was really hoping that once I got out of this mess, I could count this as experience towards my Irken classes! Mik, passing all those classes without even having to go through the simulations and tests!; that idea was particularly appealing to me. Alli continued on with her interrogation, "So, tell us EXACTLY what happened and how you found this wrist thingy!" She pointed to her own.
I really couldn't tell them the exact truth, so I daftly stumbled over a super-simplified version, which seemed to appease their curiosity. "I, Ihm, um... I found this in a crater, and...and it was in a meteorite, and I really don't know what happened, but the next thing I knew, I woke up in my room and I was just a completely different person! I, I mean, I didn't even recognize myself, and my snacks didn't even taste good, and my -"
I was cut off by Dib, who asked, "What did you look like?"
I really couldn't answer this, so I just mumbled a little, "Ah, a-uhm..." and kept silent.
Alli was beginning to get frustrated, and so she suddenly exclaimed, "GEEZE, JIK! We already KNOW you turn into an alien! Just tell us WHAT KIND, ALREADY!!!"
Paling, I was starting to feel myself sweat as I sank down into the chair and squeaked a little. Mik! Being an Invader was a lot harder than I thought! Of course, it would've helped if the aliens HADN'T found out about my wrist-thing. But I digress. As I sat there and very meekly contemplated my last thoughts of the homeworld and being execrated for my inability to keep my secret, Dib spoke up.
"Hey, why don't we just wait until sundown and see what kind of alien he turns into? I mean," he turned to me and grinned, "If our little friend here doesn't mind~!"
Sighing in exasperation, I sat there, low in the chair, and resigned myself to my terrible, delayed fate.
"RRGGGRRRGGHHH!!!" Alli glared at Dib, upset that she couldn't get anything out of me through her angry interrogation -not knowing yet that I'd already been through an even tougher interrogation back on Irk, with sporks yet- and she begrudgingly agreed. Her cat, in the meanwhile, yawned and stretched itself out, then curled back up again. Its comfortable sleep made me envious at that particular time.
Waiting was almost more uncomfortable than Alli's terrifyingly curious interrogations. Alli and Dib got bored and decided to watch T.V., then Alli got upset that "Poke A Ghost" was cancelled due to some news report about a terrible war in someplace called "Carac", and Dib was upset that "Mysterious Mysteries" was also cancelled for the same reason. So, after a terrible fit of rage by Alli -which involved throwing and breaking the remote, along with the tossing of various cushions and such- they both eventually decided on playing video games, and that kept them entertained until night-time came.
Unfortunately, I didn't sneak away even when they were both absorbed in video games. First, I was being pinned down by the cat, who had decided that she liked my lap much better after being pushed off the couch by Alli when they were watching T.V.; Second, I had a very strong suspicion that even if I did try to sneak off, they would somehow hear me or notice, and I'd be instantly overpowered by both Alli and Dib. Alli could easily wrestle me to the ground, and Dib -for some reason, I had this sneaking supicion that he was a very fast runner, as if he'd had a lot of experience.
And, Thirdly, -I have absolutely no qualms about admitting this- I was actually just scared.
After a long while of Alli and Dib playing "The Bloodening, Part III", I noticed that the sun was going down outside the windows. Soon, Dib's watch started to beep. It was only then that I started to panic. I'd noticed him poking on it earlier -he must've been setting the timer to go off at sunset. "Oh! Geeze, it's almost sundown!" He exclaimed, dropping his controller.
Alli looked over at him, glaring because he'd let their characters die, and then said, "DIB!!! We were almost to the save-point! ARGH! ...Oh! Right! We get to see what kind of alien Jik turns into!!!" And with that, she turned off the game and jumped up.
Gulping, I was trying very hard to look around for an escape route, although I knew that there was no escaping these two.
"Now!" Exclaimed Alli, "It's time for us to show each other our freaky, alien forms!"
I almost felt like laughing; I ALREADY was in my freaky, alien form! But I just couldn't. My eyes widening, I was sinking ever lower into my large chair. Alli suddenly started to shudder and doubled over, looking as if she was in pain. I well know the feeling. After a couple of minutes, she stood up, breathing hard. I almost couldn't believe my eyes. Well, almost. The fact is that I'd actually thought over this possiblity while I was being pinned down in my chair. She was an Irken!!!
They both looked at me. It was then that I realized the one very important thing. I hadn't changed yet! Gasping, I jumped up and dashed from my chair. As I did, Dib exclaimed, "HEY! HE DIDN'T CHANGE!!!" Running as fast as I could, I was pounced on painfully by a VERY angry Alli. Dib stood over us, pointing at me and shouting.
"YOU! YOU DIDN'T CHANGE! WHAT'S GOING ON!? HUH? HUH!?!" Screamed Alli as she held me down. I was starting to sob. "WHY!?! WHY DIDN'T YOU CHANGE INTO AN ALIEN!?!" The combined screams and shouts of both Alli and Dib were murder on my human ears.
"P-Please~!" I moaned. This just made them shout more.
"WHY? HUH!?! WHY DIDN'T YOU CHANGE!?!?!" Alli continued her shrill screams
"B-Because! My days are different!" I finally exclaimed. My tears were running down my face and making it hard for me to see.
"Huh?" Blinked Dib.
"What do you MEAN your days are DIFFERENT!?!" Exclaimed Alli. She still didn't quit screaming.
"I-I mean! I, my days are different! From where I come from!" I hastily tried to explain.
"What? How could your days be different? We're all on Earth, right? So, unless...!" Dib suddenly came to a realization, "That's it! You're not from Earth, are you!?! A-hah! I KNEW it! THAT must be why you recognized Zim! And why you didn't change into an alien!!!" Dib grinned at his marvelous deduction skills. It was surprising that he jumped straight from "different days" to "alien planets", without even stopping to consider different time-zones!
"What?! What do you MEAN he's not from Earth?!" Asked Alli, still confused. Well, more like screamed than asked.
"Isn't it OBVIOUS? I mean, he transfers in in the middle of the school year, he's supposedly Jamaican but he doesn't have an accent, his family's an aunt and a whole bunch of uncles, he looks confused when kids are talking about their favorite idols, he seems like he absolutely hates it here, and he completely FREAKS OUT whenever he sees Zim! He must be an ALIEN!!!" Dib explained, grinning ear-to-ear. He was seriously giddy over all this. And I was actually surprised by his detective skills. It was impressive, if not a little creepy.
"Really?" Alli looked down at me. I was trying very hard not to say anything. I whimpered a little bit -she was sitting on my back and my neck was crammed at a very uncomfortable angle. Alli glared down at me, then got up. I was never more relieved to be able to sit up again! I wiped off my face and began to stand up, dusting myself off. Then she did something very surprising: she called for her cat -or, what used to be a cat. "SHY! Get over here!"
The little kitty-cat was now a little robot, or so it seemed. It appeared instantly and replied, "Ye~ees?" In a feminine robotic voice.
"Watch him! If he tries anything, I want you to shoot him! You got it?" Alli ordered, pointing.
"Yes, yes!" Replied the little SIR-Unit looking robot-thingy happily, saluting, and then pointing a laser from the top of her head at me.
"Good! Now..." Alli grabbed the front of my shirt and glared, saying evilly, "Tell me just what's going on here, and I'll let you keep all of your limbs~!"
I gulped and nodded a little bit. This was really not going the way I'd planned it! No, really, my whole LIFE by now was really not going the way I'd planned it! She let go and stepped back a bit.
"Now tell us EVERYTHING!..." Alli commanded.
!*~^~^~*!
"So...let me get this straight..." Dib was pacing in front of us. We still stood where we were last, and I'd explained everything as much as I supposed I could, whilest both Alli and Dib looked on in disbelief. "You're an IRKEN, who found this thing in a crater and it turned you into a HUMAN? But because you couldn't get any water or food, you had to be sent here to Earth while your scientists worked on a way to cure you?"
"Uh...yeah," I replied.
"That's just TOO easy!" Exclaimed Alli. "I mean, what are the chances of that ACTUALLY happening?! About a billion to 1?!" I had to agree with that -it was highly improbable. "I think we should just keep him here and do some tests on him and wait until he changes!"
"Erm! Well, about that-!" I started, "It'll be another 3 Earth days until I can change back again!"
"Seriously?" Asked Alli. I was a little surprised; she wasn't screaming.
Dib mumbled, "Ah, right, of course!..." For some reason, it seemed that he knew an awful lot about Irkens -it was making me incredibly uncomfortable.
"Yeah... Er! That, and my security team is going to be really mad if they find out you've taken me!" I added.
"Wait, you said you have a security team?" Asked Dib.
"Er, yes," I replied.
"Then...is Zim on your security team?"
"What!? No! In fact, I, I mean we, didn't even know he was here! I mean, we thought we were going to be on the complete other side of the planet from him! Um, but then this giant Huggy Squishy monster thing happened, and then the Poop spilled, and..."
"Hey, wait a minute! If you're here, then wouldn't Zim know about it? I mean, why wouldn't you want his protection?"
"NO! GUH! PLEASE!!! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, PLEASE!!!!! DON'T TELL HIM!!!!!!!" I screamed in sheer terror. I just couldn't have that horrible little Irken monstrosity ruining an already cataclysmic circumstance!
Both Alli and Dib seemed genuinely surprised. And I even think the SIR-Cat-Unit thing was, too.
"Uhm...Hooo-kaaayyyyy..." Said Dib.
"Oooh, this is gettin' interesting~!" Said Alli mischievously.
There was a moment of silence before someone finally spoke up. It was Dib who spoke first, "So...you mind telling us why you're suddenly freaking out?"
"Huh...?" The question was absolutely absurd to my mind. "Why...? Don't you- oh, right! You're all the way on the edge of the universe! Of course you didn't know!"
"KNOW WHAT!?" Exclaimed Alli impatiently.
I tried to think of exactly how to explain this, "W-Well, erm... You see, well... You know how horribly horrible Zim is, right?"
"No, DUH!" Replied Dib.
"Er! Well, you see, on our planet, he cause such HORRIBLE destruction, that he was banished to Foodcourtia. But he escaped and for some reason -because he's such a moron- he thought he could be an Invader again if he just showed up! But thankfully, the Tallest had an idea to keep him out of the way so he wouldn't ruin things again! So they- *snicker* -they told him that there was this mysterious planet out on the edge of the universe and that he had to conquer it!" I ended up laughing at the end because it was just so funny. Stupid Zim!
They both stared at me.
"Wait a minute! You mean that Zim is just an IDIOT who's in EXILE here?" Asked Alli.
"Yup."
"And he doesn't even KNOW it?"
"Uh-huh!"
More silence. Then Dib spoke up, "Wait a minute! Just why should we believe you?!"
"Erm...Because...I'm not an idiot...?" Was the only reason I could think of.
There was even more silence.
"Well," Alli spoke up, "If you think about it, it really does make sense." Dib shot a dark look at her. "Well, THINK about it! I mean, he thinks the Golden Mean is a disgruntled miner!"
Dib thought for a moment, "Well...it does make sense... I can't imagine any advanced alien race sending someone like ZIM to invade a planet... Although he is destructive."
"Oh, and how!" I replied with a wave of my hand.
Suddenly Dib started snickering, and then he began laughing and doubled over, finally falling onto the floor with hilarity. Alli and I looked on with confused interest. We looked at each other. Then back at him.
"Hee hee hee! It looks like he's a little happy caterpillar!" Shy said, giggling.
We looked back at Dib. "Hm...Yeah, he really does...!" I observed.
"Mm-hmm!" Nodded Alli.
A few more moments of silently observing Dib's laughing fits. Then we snapped out of it.
"Okay!" Exclaimed Alli suddenly, "So, what do we do with you?" She then turned to Dib, "HEY! DIB! SNAP OUT OF IT!!!"
Dib was still rolling around on the floor with laughter. Apparently something was absolutely hilarious, and he wasn't letting us in on it.
"Can I go home now?" I chanced to ask.
"What?! AS IF!! We can't let you go back and tell everyone about us!" Exclaimed Alli. I winced; Alli's consistent screaming was really starting to get to me.
"But, if they knew, then they could find a way to cure both of us!" I countered pleadingly.
"Hah! Oh, yeah, like I'd want to be made into a GUINEA-PIG for a bunch of WEIRD ALIENS!!!" She exclaimed once again. I had to admit: she had a point, there.
I sighed. "Well, if I don't go back soon, they're going to get really worried, and if they come in and find another Irken here, they're going to start interrogating and all kinds of stuff -believe me, I know!- so you'll have to let me go back!"
Alli growled, but didn't shout, "I know that, but I still don't trust you! We can't be sure you won't tell them everything once you get back!"
Dib pulled himself up from the floor, still giggling a little, and said, "H-hey! *Giggle* Wh-why can't we take something of his as proof? If he ever wants it back, he'll have to make sure he doesn't tell anyone about us!"
"Hey, yeah! That's right!" Grinned Alli.
I sighed once again, "But guu~uys, I know the scientists can help cure us, and I don't have anything to offer, anyways!"
"Oh, really~?" Stated Dib sarcastically. "Then I'll tell you what: Why don't YOU go back, get tested on, and come get us when they're done curing you! Then we'll know be convinced!"
I shot Dib a dead-pan look for his annoying sarcasm.
"How long have they been working on this cure?" Asked Alli. I was surprised; she wasn't screaming and she had a very good question!
I thought for a moment. "W-well, excluding the time it took for interrogations and traveling to this planet, probably a couple of days -Irken days, that is."
"So, how much do they know?" Asked Dib eagerly.
"W-well, it's not, I mean, we aren't sure...it seems that it is connected to my D.N.A., but even with knowing that, there's still far too many variables to be able to-" Alli cut me off.
"So what you're saying is, you and your super-smart scientists can't figure this thing out, either!"
"Hey, give it a while~! I mean, they've only just started working on it! That, and we're not familiar with the human body! It'll be a long time before we can get enough information to actually work on this problem," I explained, then gave a look over at Dib, "That is, if we don't have someone to help us!"
Dib glared over at me. Just as I was about to make a comment about mutual benefits, a sound interrupted our little "negotiations".
My communicator disguised as an Earth Cell-Phone began to ring. Not knowing exactly what it was, I looked around for a bit before Alli finally said, "STUPID! It's your CELL-PHONE!"
Feeling embarrassed and slightly relieved, I pulled it out and opened it up. Holding it in front of my face -to see the screen- I winced as a very loud and commanding commander shouted over the line, "DANGIT, JIK! QUIT PLAYING AND COME HOME NOW!!!"
Not having any other choice, I simply said, "Yes, Sir! Er, I'm sorry!" The screen went blank, and I saw Dib laughing again. Shutting my cell-phone, I turned to look at him and said, "What?"
Not giving any explanation, Dib just said, "Oh~ Nothing~!" And continued snickering.
Sighing with irritation, I said, "Well, I guess that's that. I'll have to go home now, otherwise they'll burst in here and drag me away!" Well, this wasn't entirely true. I'm sure my security team would have enough sense to knock first. Still, it gave my argument strength.
Alli glared at me. Dib stopped his laughing and said, "H-*snicker* Wait a minute, are 'they' your security team? Are they hiding around here somewhere?" He began looking around quickly. I got a very strong feeling he did this a lot.
"Yeah -well, almost. They hide and follow me. I think they're right outside the house." I answered easily.
"WHAT!?!" Yelled Alli, grabbing me by the shirt.
"Hey, hey! Don't worry!" I said, "I don't think they heard anything! I mean, they didn't follow me inside! They know when to give me space! I-If they followed me too closely, it'd be weird, right? ...Right?!"
Calming down, Alli let go of my shirt. "Listen here, you stupid freak! If you even breathe ONE WORD about us to ANYONE, you're going to wish you were NEVER born! YOU GOT THAT!?!"
Nodding nervously and gulping, I said, "Mm-hmm!" And then left.
Exiting that house, I'd never felt more relieved in my entire life! I almost felt like collapsing shakily to the ground, but seeing one of my disguised security guards pop up from behind the bushes cured that. Holding out his hand, he said, "Come on, smeet, let's go home." And walked back with me.
That night, I'd never been so tired in my entire life! I was so exhausted I even forgot to mention Zim or anything else; I simply walked in and collapsed onto my bed and soon fell asleep.
I missed snacky-time.
*~*
~*~*~*~
*
(Author's Notes: Yeah, I know, there's a whole discontinuity about, "If they didn't have any water and humans can't survive without water for 3 days, how did he survive for 3 1/4 days before they left for Earth?" And for that, I just chalk it up to "Space MAGIC!!!" And leave it at that. *Nods*)
Pretty-please, R+R!!! *^v^*