School Time

(Subtitled: Jack gets a bath)

It was a beautiful sunny morning, the birds were singing.

Jack: Actually luv, that be the eunuch.

Courtney: Shut up you, I'm trying to be poetic!

Now, as I was saying, the birds were singing; the sun was out, and it was a glorious day!

Tara: We have to leave for school in two hours.

Courtney: @*&!@((%*@*%)@*%(@

Silver: Courtney! I'll not have a lady spoutin' off such language.

Courtney: *more quietly * @*$^*(#$%..

Will: You're women, why do you have to go to school?

Both stare death at him.

Courtney: Hmmwe can't leave these three here alone, we'll have to take them to school with us.

Tara: I hate to say it Courtney, but I don't think Silver can come with us. He looks too different. Sorry Silv.

Silver: Aw, ah I don' mind. I can stay here and cook supper for you all.

Courtney: (Hugs Silver) Isn't he the best? ^_______^

Tara: First things first, you two need to have a bathI have a feeling good hygiene wasn't inforced where you're from.

Jack: Now wait jus a sec luv, Jack Sparrow doesn't bathe for just anyone! I mean, what about me clothes?

Courtney: I'll wash them.

Jack: X_X You'll do no such thing!

Will: Come on Jack, I mean, it's only one bath, how bad can it be?

Thirty Minutes Later

Courtney: Dammit Jack, just hand me your clothes! I promise they'll be fine. But you need to hurry up! Will only took ten minutes! Are you that much of a chicken?

Jack: Captain Jack Sparrow of the Black Pearl is NOT a chicken.

Courtney: (pleading) I'll give you rum later

Water can be heard running

Ten minutes later, a clean Jack emerges, a towel wrapped around his waist.

Jack: Now where be my clothes?

Tara: All clean!..well not reallyso you can't wear your jacket just yetor your shirtor your beltthe only thing that's dry is this.(Holds up waist sash)

Jack takes the sash, and then looks down at himself.

Jack: This is all I have to wear today!? This is why I never clean my clothes!

Will: Stop complaining Jack, look at it this way, at least now you'll have some ventilation.

Jack: bloody eunuchHey! I was promised more rum! (eyes Courtney)

Courtney: Too early, you get it when we come home. (Turns to Silver) Hey, are you sure you're going to be alright here alone?

Silver: Aw don' worry about me.

Will: Uhhshouldn't we be getting to schoolwe're going to be late.

Tara: * swears *

Jack : What am I going to wear?

Tara: *thinks, with a little smile on her face * Weeeellll.you would look really good in a fig leaf

Jack: 0.o;;;;

Courtney: * from the laundry room * Done!

Tara: Dammit!

Courtney: * Hands Jack his clothes, much to Tara's disappointment *

All three as they leave "Bye Silver, see ya later!"

All arrive at school just before bell rings

First ClassMr. Penny's English with Courtney and Will

Courtney: How did I get stuck with you again?

Will: I didn't want to be stuck with your friend

Courtney: * raises fist threateningly * You got somethin' against Tara?

Will: *cowers * She keeps on calling me a eunuch!

Courtney: What did you expect?.and for that matterso do Iso stop complaining!

Class quiets as the evil Frank Penny walks in the room, eyeing the class like fresh prey..

Mr. Penny: *sees Will and grins * Well, what do we have here?

Class turns and all looks at Courtney and Will.

Courtney: This is my . . .a friend of Neville's visiting from the CaribbeanYEAH! That's it!! ^^;;;

Will: *mutters under breath * So NOW I'm your friend.now I see what's goin' on beat me about the bush and then say I'm your bloody friend so you won't get in trouble.. I see.. I see.

Courtney: *thwacks Will upside the head *

Will: Owww!!

Mr. Penny: *laughs * Courtneywhat have I told you about killing students?

Courtney: *silent * *ponders * Not to do it?

Mr. Penny: Exactlycookie for you!!

Courtney: Yay!!! Cookie for mee!!

Will: *head resting against hand * This is going to be a loonngggg day. *sigh *

Meanwhile, in the History room across the hall.

Jack: I'm tellin' ye, mate! You're bloody wrong about pirates!!!

Mr. LeCain: *eye twitches * HowI wrong.Mr. Sparrow?????

Jack: Because, we don't always steal gold!! We steal anything and everything from food to clothing!! Even ships.

Janice: (Cameo appearance!!) Even women's undergarments?

Jack: WellI haven't stolen women's garmentsbut Pintel and Ragetti once dressed up in dresses to distract the Navy a ship

Class snickers.

Tara: *sits back in her chair * This is the most interesting History class I've every been inI should bring you more often, Jack!

Jack: *is now in a full-fledged argument about pirates with Mr. LeCain *

LeCain: So you're telling me you're an actual pirate?? If you're a pirate, then I'm the Queen

Jack: *grins, takes off his hat and bows to Mr. LeCain * Well for a bloody Queen, you sure are manly.

Class snickers yet again. Bell rings for Lunch. Everyone including Tara and Jack rush out of the room and run down the hall away from a VERY pissed of Mr. LeCain.

((Author's note: Trust us on thisnever correct Mr. LeCain he doesn't take it to well ^^; )

Lunch time

All four meet up on the stage in the gym. Jack and Tara looking a little worse for wear, Courtney and Will look tired, and both girls excuse themselves.

Will: Wait, where are you going?

Tara: We have a dress rehearsal to get dressed for, our drama class is acting out a play.

Jack: Oh yeah? What play?

Tara: * grins * Just wait and see

Courtney: *snickers *

*********** five minutes later ********

Tara: * walks onstage dressed as Jack Sparrow, begins in a very good Sparrow imitation * But why's the rum gone?

Jack: * Off stage * What the bloody 'ell was that?

Will :* off stage as well * I think she's you Jack.

Jack: *grumbles *

Tara: Where's my bloody eunuch run off to?

Courtney: I'm not a eunuch dammit!

Jack: *elbowing Will * She's got you pretty down pat.

Tara: *Walks drunkenly over to Courtney, who is dressed up as Will * Come lad, we're off to save your bonny lass.

A man, dressed in a poofy dress walks carefully out.

Dane: Why do I have to be Elizabeth?

Courtney: Because she was the last one, and you happened to be skipping that daythat and you make such a good whiny female!

Backstage Will crosses his arms, unimpressed that his love is being played by male. Beside him, Jack snickers.

Jack: Tells ya somethin' 'bout 'Lizabeth, now don't it mate? *winkwink * *nudgenudge *

Dane: * In a high pitched, fake female voice * Oh Will, how I've missed you. Please save me from the stinky Barbosa and his scary monkey Jack.

Jack from backstage can be heard trying not to burst out laughing.

Jack: That's bloody funny! * Then yells out * Well, at least ya got the stinky part right!

Courtney: * yells back * I wouldn't talk if I were you!

Will is laughing too hard to reply.

Both men watch as the play quickly finishes, Jack a little happy that in this ending, he gets the womanWill sits by the pirate fuming.

Will: That's not how it goes! Elizabeth is mine!

Jack: Well son, too bad if that's the way they want to do thingsI don't see anything wrong with it! ^_____^

After rehearsal

Tara and Courtney in the dressing room. (Stop thinking dirty thoughts you pervs!)

Courtney: Do you think we're ready for opening night?

Tara: If the props are ready, then we're ready.

Both: But why's the rum gone?

From around the corner "Stop stealin' my bloody lines!"

Dressed, and ready for afternoon classes, Tara and Courtney meet up with Jack.

Tara: Aw, don't take it too hard love, we were just foolin' around.

Jack: *Raises an eyebrow, grins mischievously * Really?

Tara: * stares at him * Ack! You perv! * Tries to smack him upside the head. *

Jack: * ducks the hit, yelling out * I'm sorry! No more dirty thoughts!Unless, you're in themand I'm in them.that's okay, right?

Tara: *sprawled on her back on the floor from the missed hit, smiles broadly does a backhand gesture, imitating him * Well of course luv! But only if it's not a thought! * insert dirty smile *

Both realize that Courtney is missing.

Will: *looks around * Hey, your friend is missing.

Both grow quiet, and can hear arguing in the background.

Courtney: What do you mean you're leaving today?! You said you weren't going until the break next month!

Dane: I got an offer on a ship! It's leaving early tomorrow morning, and I have to leave tonight.

Silence; then a sound of a slap.

Jack : OhhI know how that feels _O; _ Poor sap.

Courtney: *sneering * Fine then, have fun in the Caribbean!

A very pissed off Courtney emerges, walking over she frisks Jack. Quickly locating the flask he always carries. Taking the top off she downs the bottle, makes a face then hands it back to a stunned Jack.

Jack: * shakes the flask upside down, giving Tara the puppy face * She drank it all! ;_;

Courtney: * wiping her chin with the back of her hand * You're out mate. *eyes Dane as he walks past *

Jack: What the bloody 'ell was that for?!

Courtney: *glares at Jack * Shove off!

Jack: *looks around * With what?

The rest of the day goes oddly enoughquite smoothly. Will enjoyed Art class, although Jack didn't like Mrs. Whitelaw atall in fact, he kept making fun of her; whispering to Tara.

Jack: Is it just meor does she always look like a bit of a birdy bint?

Tara: *snickers * Yep.she's totally a birdy bintan annoying one I think thatyou should shoot her withthat lovely pistol of yours.

Jack: *shakes head * Sorry mate, can't do it as much as I'd love to.shot's not meant for 'er unfortunately.

Bell rings, end of school. Will, Jack and Tara see Courtney sitting outside on the school steps. Will crouches down in front of Courtney.

Will: I didn't see you in Art class, Ms. Freeman..

Courtney: Well, Mrs. FinkleI think that you're son, is a total.screw up! I do say..a total screw up who deserves to bea flower ofnone power. *is drunk absolutely out of her mindyep.. Jack had some pretty strong rum, so she got shit faced from that small flask.HOW DOES HE DO IT!? *

Will: *Looks up at Jack * Your rum got to her, Jack..

Jack: *trying not to crack up at the 'none power' bit. * You're right, mate! She's completely sloshed like.something sloshy!

Tara: *tries to help Courtney up * C'mon, Courtneywe gotta get home. Silver's made us food!

Courtney: FOOOOOOODDDD!!!! * suddenly starts drunkingly running home, with her three friends staring at her like a bunch of idiots*

Tara: Well..that was odd

Will: Yep..

Jack: I don't think that yer friend should be drinking anymore. *blinks * That sounds wrong coming from my mouth..

Back at Courtney's apartment.

Courtney: * Looks up at Silver with a big drunken grin up on her face. * Yayy! You got the door open! I couldn't.damned evil lock of lockingness that doesn't let people unlock!!!

Silver: * raises an eyebrow, and gently leads Courtney inside * You're drunkJust wait 'til Jack gets home.. I'll be givin' him a piece of me.. *looks at left hand * Cyborg fist!

Courtney: I want a flower of none power! Just like Mrs. Finkle's son, John the Rainbow!!!!!

Jack and company walk in.

Silver: *cyborg eye is nowred and zoomed in on Jack.. * JACK!!!!!!!!!!!

Jack: *hides behind Tara *It's the evil red cursed eye!!

Tara: *blink *

Silver: YOU GOT COURTNEY DRUNK!!!! YOU SCABBOROUS DOG!! YOU WHELP! YOU.WOMANIZING BACKSTABBING LILLY-LIVERED EXCUSE FOR A PIRATE!!!! WAIT TILL I GET MY HAND ON YOU!!!! OHTHERE'LL BE NO MORE OF THIS FOR QUITE SOME TIME!!!!

Jack: *still cowering behind Tara and also Will nowodd! *

Courtney: *covers her ears * Aww.stop the loud yellingness.it's too loud*whines * too loud.

Tara: *steps up 'to the plate' as it were * Mr. Silver, I assure you that Mr. Captain Jack Sparrow here did not get my friend drunk. She frisked him, finding his rum flask and then downed it's contents, getting drunk all of her own free will..

Will: Free Will..eemy willy

Courtney: FREE WILL'S WILLY!! IT NEEDS TO BE SODOMIZED!!!!!!! *hiccup *

Silver: * Walks over to Courtney, bending down to be eye level with her on the floor * Did you really get yourself drunk? Why would you go an' do a thing like that lass?

Jack: *pondering * Yes, I'd like to know why you frisked me in the first place too.

Courtney: @_@ wouldn't you like to know.

Tara: Heyyou are not allowed to smile at my Jack that way! What happened between you and Dane anyway?

Courtney: *finally frowns * Because thatdog is leaving for the Caribbean tonight! *eyes Jack as though it were his fault *

Jack: Oh dear I'm afraid you'll never see 'em again luvmen that go down there, are lost forever down there.

Courtney: Fine! Let 'em be lostnot like he had any REASON to stay here in the first place! *shouts to the window, like he would be listening outside of it *

Tara: *sighs * Silv, what did you make for supper? I'm starved. Maybe some food will help her sober up again.

Silver: * looks at Courtney worriedly, then up at Jack angrily * Yea, I made some of that frozen bird in the freezer with some vegetables.

Will: *smells the food * It smells wonderful Mr. Silver, shall we start now, or wait a bit?

Courtney: *stands a bit wobbily * Food! I'm starved, I haven't eaten all day! * looks at Jack* Are you sure I'll never see him again? * a slight pout on her face *

Jack: *Pats her shoulder * Sorry, luv, *shakes head * But I don't think this friend o' yours is comin' back.

Tara: You don't know that! I'm sure he'll come back to you Courtney, don't worry. *hugs her friend *

Courtney He betterotherwise that's going to be one expensive plane ticket just to hit him on the head!

Will: *Leaning over, and whispering to Tara, watching Courtney and Silver talk * Why is she so upset over this Dane?

Tara: *whispering back * It's a loong story.

TBC

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Courtney: * Hanging off of Silver * soooo.that was the second part was it Mrs. Finkle?

Silver: I'm not Mrs. Finkle Courtney, it's Silver.

Tara:* is glomping Jack, grinning up at him * Hello =)

Jack: O_o;; ^__^; Ehh heh..yer a bit too young for me, luv

Tara: O.O -.-;; Seems to me that my age didn't matter the other night

Courtney: *overhears what is implied and screams * Virgin ears, virgin ears!!

Tara: That's the only thing virgin on her.

Silver: 0.o.do I want to know?

Will: *is now in a pink, frilly apron, making POTC gingerbread people cookies * I don't think so, Mr. Silver.Jack cookie? *hands him a lil cookie that looks like Jack *

Others watch Will oddly.

Silver: I've been teachin' the lad how to cook.

Jack: *walks over and takes Jack cookie away from Will, looking at it with a somewhat drunken curiousity * Well..it's me.and I've got a really bloody good tan!!

Tara: *glomps Jack from behind around his waist * It's a ginger-ma-bread cookie!!!! But why have the cookie when I can have---

Will: Now that'll be enough, young miss!!!!!

Tara: *sticks out tongue at Will *

Courtney: Enough Mrs. Finkle!! We must capture the lil people and..force them to be our slaves!! Also, we gotta get this thing postedededededed on the webbymathingyabobmicjackoozy!

Silver and Will and Tara: NO MORE RUM! For the both of you!

Jack: *puppy eyes towards Tara * Pwease.?????????? I must have my rum.pretty please with a medallion on top??? *whimpers all cute like *

Tara: not the puppy eyes..can't resist the puppy eyes

Jack: *whimpers some more *

Tara: .

Courtney: WOOHOO!

BYEEEEEEE!